Chapter 3
“You’re so slow today,” Kestrel complained. “I’m going to freeze to death before you get Rusty’s saddle on.”
I grimaced up at her. Isn’t your best friend supposed to be supportive and sympathetic? I’d already told her I couldn’t sleep last night. But to be fair, she’d already been out in the cold for over an hour. She and her dad, Seth, rode over to make sure that Mom and I were okay in the harsh weather and now her dad was inside the house, having coffee with my mom. Kestrel would’ve loved to have stayed inside and soaked in some warmth too, but I had other plans for us. She didn’t know it yet but now that I had someone to search with me, we were going to find the mustangs.
“It’s positively balmy today,” I said, countering her complaint. “You should have been out last night.” Maybe she’d take my hint and realize I had good reasons for being slower than normal. And besides, I was right. It was a lot warmer than last night – only 30 degrees below zero instead of more than 40 degrees.
“You went out last night?”
“Yeah, for a little while.” I finished tightening Rusty’s cinch, then moved to his head with the bridle.
“Why?” When I didn’t answer, she added, “What happened? Is it a secret? Does Laticia know?”
“Mom knows some of it.”
“Come on, Evy, tell me. Laticia and Dad won’t hear us. They’re in the cabin.”
“Let’s get away from here first.” Rusty, Kestrel, and Twitchy, Kestrel’s bay mare, followed me outside the barn, then Rusty stood resolutely as I swung aboard. He didn’t even hump his back, though I knew he was cold too. My heels touched his side and we headed out at a brisk walk. Twitchy stepped out behind him, her hooves landing in the same spots as he broke trail away from the cabin.
“So are you going to tell me what happened or not?” Kestrel asked as soon as we were in the trees, out of sight of the cabin.
“What makes you think anything happened?” I asked in an innocent voice, just to bug her a bit.
“Come on, Evy.”
I reached down to pat Rusty’s gray shoulder, then pushed his black mane to the left side of his neck. We started to round the small ice-covered lake behind our house. A whiskey jack burst out of the willows that lined the lake, and flapped into the trees.
“Evy!”
I turned Rusty to face her and Twitchy, and smiled. “Okay, okay. Sorry. You won’t be mad anymore when you hear this…” I paused for dramatic flair. “The mustangs came to visit last night.”
“The mustangs! They came close to your house? You saw them?”
“The stallion came into the meadow while his herd waited in the trees. Mom and I put out some hay. It was Night Hawk and his band.”
“That’s the big bay with the four mares, isn’t it?”
“Three. Only three now.”
“Which one’s missing?”
“The sorrel mare, the young one with the jagged star on her forehead.”
“So you did see them? They all came into the meadow?” She sounded confused.
“Uh, yeah,” I quickly amended. “But then they must have seen me watching, because they ran away.” I looked down at Rusty and his dark eyes caught mine. Only he knew of my terrible guilt. Why had I opened up my big stupid head?
“So they didn’t get any hay.” A statement rather than a question.
“No.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Evy. Don’t feel bad. They were probably super nervous because of the cabin. A bird might have startled them, or a snapping tree.”
“Maybe.” Either that or they recognized the voice of a mustang murderer and were keeping as far from me as possible.
The horses were puffing now, especially Rusty. It was hard work breaking trail through knee-deep snow.
“So I’m guessing we’re looking for them?” asked Kestrel.
“Yeah. I want to see how they’re doing in the daylight. Maybe they aren’t as skinny as I thought. It was pretty dark.” Of course, I already knew they were starving. What I really wanted to know was if they were still nearby.
“The poor things. Even the baby?”
“Yeah. They, I mean, I call him Ice.” A small smile found my face beneath my multiple scarves. Talking about the young horses always made me feel better.
“That’s a great name. What does he look like?”
“Completely adorable. He’s a cool blue roan color. And remember that buckskin filly from last year?”
“Yeah?”
“She’s sooo pretty.”
“And the black colt?”
“He’s a lot bigger than last summer.”
“So he’s still there? That’s kind of weird, isn’t it? I mean, he has to be almost three years old.”
“Maybe Night Hawk is waiting to make him leave the herd in the spring, so he’s sure to survive on his own. It’s been an awful winter.”
I pulled Rusty to a quick halt. The mustangs’ tracks stretched out before us in a confused jumble of sprayed snow and hoof prints. Obviously, they hadn’t slowed for ages after galloping away from the cabin last night. My remorse swelled into monster guilt. Because of me, they’d expended energy they couldn’t afford to use. I reined Rusty to follow them.
“I hope they didn’t go far,” said Kestrel. “Dad will want to head home soon.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to stay over for a couple days?” I asked, looking back. “I know it’s not your usual visit, but maybe your dad will say yes.”
A grin broke across Kestrel’s face and she patted her saddlebags. “I hoped you’d ask. Dad made me promise I wouldn’t say anything unless I was invited, but I have clothes and my schoolwork here.”
“Awesome!” Having to stay inside the cabin wouldn’t be nearly as difficult with Kestrel visiting. We could play games, talk, do some painting with Mom… Even homework might be fun if we did it together. Joking!
Ow. My leg wrenches as Black Wing shoves me out of the way, beating me to the small mouthful of grass I’d just uncovered from the snow. I whinny a weak rebuke, but sidestep fearfully when Black Wing lays her ears back at me.
I gulp down the grass clump greedily. Heaven in my mouth.
I fought to get over Twilight’s dismay and hurt – and to get over Black Wing’s intense pleasure as she chewed the mouthful – as I stopped Rusty. If I still felt horse emotions when I was a hundred, I’d still never get used to sensing the same scene from different horses’ points of view.
“Did you hear that?” I asked, pretending I’d heard something so I could collect myself.
“No. What was it?” Kestrel guided Twitchy to stand beside me.
I toss my head and turn in an uneasy circle. Where is my dam? She needs to punish Black Wing for stealing my food.
But I knew, because I could sense Wind Dancer too, that Twilight’s dam probably wouldn’t do anything to Black Wing. Black Wing was the dominant mare of the two.
“Listen,” I urged again, even though Kestrel would never hear them with her ears. They were too far away for that.
She shut her eyes and strained to hear.
Rusty shifted beneath me and Twitchy snorted softly. I heard the reins rub against her mane as Kestrel tightened them. I breathed in sharply as I felt the mustang’s location. They were to our right, just half a mile …
An explosion of panic burst through me!
They sensed me? But how could they? We were so far away…
I gripped the saddle horn to stop from falling off Rusty’s back, as my mind careened into a wild run.
“What’s wrong? Evy? Evy!”
The trees are a blur. Burning pain flares in my shins as I break through the crusted snow.
“Evy, it’s not funny. Stop it. What’s wrong with you?”
Adrenaline still flooded my body, but Kestrel’s voice was almost as frightened as the mustangs and it intruded into their panic.
“Nothing… I’m fine,” I managed to croak as the mustangs slowed to a canter, and then a trot.
Snow Crystal thought it was a false alarm.
Night Hawk snorted high and loud – was that a shadow moving between the distant trees? The mares didn’t seem to think so, but he wasn’t convinced. He threw his head back, testing the air, and then trotted a few paces back the way they’d come. Whatever was there, he would pummel it for frightening his herd.
“We should get back. You don’t look too good.” Kestrel still sounded frightened.
“I’m okay. Just dizzy, that’s all,” I said, using the same line I used with Mom.
I start my eternal search for grass again. The frozen edge of snow is like a knife’s blade on my raw front legs, but still I paw. One by one the others follow my example, and soon Night Hawk returns.
I finally breathe easier.
“We should get back anyway,” Kestrel insisted and huddled deeper into her coat. “I need to make sure Laticia’s okay with me staying before Dad wants to go home.”
“Don’t worry. Mom loves it when you stay over. She won’t have to stop work to take me for walks.”
Kestrel laughed, but her face was still white with tension.
“I don’t think it was the mustangs I heard anyway. It was probably a bird or something,” I said, turning Rusty toward home. Twitchy was quick to follow. As if taking our cue, far away, Snow Crystal decided it was time to move on – and as the lead mare trotted even farther away, with the others close behind her, the connection between us turned to whispers, then murmurs. Then nothing.
“Why don’t we come back out in a couple hours,” said Kestrel. “We can look some more after we talk to Laticia.”
“Only if you want to,” I said.
“We should. If they were the mustangs, they might be gone if we wait.”
“Yeah,” I admitted. Honestly though, I didn’t want to keep searching. I’d learned what I’d come to find out: the mustangs were still in the area. They hadn’t run too far from our house – which meant they may not have recognized me as the killer. Major relief!
But I couldn’t say anything to Kestrel, because she’d ask me how I knew they were nearby. Plus I’d never told her about Willow. “Let’s go faster,” I said. “I’m freezing.”
We made good time back to the cabin, even though we slowed the horses a few times when we came to hills and whenever they became too hot. We’d just come into the meadow and were heading straight for the barn when my thoughts returned to the mustangs. They’d startled for no reason again today, and it couldn’t have been because of Kestrel and me. We were too far away. Which meant either they were getting super sensitive and seeing ghosts – maybe because they were starving – or something was stalking them.
I hated that the last option made the most sense. Various predators were probably hunting them. The tremendous cold would make more than just the mustangs suffer. Other creatures would be hungry and desperate too, and would be doing their best to survive.
And could I blame them? All creatures need food. All creatures want to live. It just really stinks that some animals need meat to survive, and that in order for one animal to live, another has to die. But that’s just the way things are. And there was no way I could protect the mustangs, even if they let me try – which of course, they never would.