Chapter 20
I wake up feeling light and normal. For a brief moment I forget all about what happened the day before, and think Ithinara is still in my head. I think of Cain, and how I’m excited to see him for only a second before the world crashes hard against me. My hands quickly cover my reddening face, embarrassed by my own thoughts. I feel like I’ve betrayed Beth for thinking of him like that.
The smell of waffles and bacon is drifting up the stairs. I check my clock and see that my alarm is about to go off, so I slam a hand down on the button. The intrusive device doesn’t get a chance to make any noise.
Lifting myself from the bed is a chore, but I manage. I want to immediately call Beth and see how she’s doing, to see if she’s coming to school today but I doubt she is. Has she talked to her parents yet?
After a quick shower I get dressed, finding it difficult to fit my cast through my sweater. When the struggle is over I hurry down the stairs. Nobody has texted me overnight like they usually do and I feel a little lonely. The cross that dangles around my neck is a heavy reminder that I still have friends though, and people that care for me.
As I pass by the front door someone knocks quietly. It isn’t loud enough for Dad to hear, so I open it without telling him someone is there. It is most likely the neighbour asking for our newspaper or something, I tell myself.
But it’s Cain.
“Good morning,” he says with a grin.
I am pale and shaking. My knees almost give out, but my grip on the door is too tight to let me fall. I ask, “What are you doing here?”
Cain’s eyes fall to my pendant. I quickly tuck it away, but it’s too late. “That’s cute,” he says with a wink. “I like a challenge. And trust me, you Walcott’s have been a challenge.”
“So you are after my soul?” I ask. “You want my family’s…souls?”
“Ehhh,” he stalls, squinting his eyes, “yes and no. But that isn’t why I’m here now.” He holds up Dad’s knife, clean of all blood and any evidence it had been sticking out of his neck not even twenty-four hours ago. “I thought you might want this back.”
I go to reach for it and he hands it over easily. I stuff it into my pocket as fast as I can.
“Do you need a lift?” he asks. “I bet there’s going to be a lot of commotion at school today. Oh, and my mom wanted you to know that you don’t have to worry about Sunday dinner with what’s happened. I would—“
“Willa’s staying home today,” Dad says behind me. I jump as he pulls to door open wider, giving Cain the stink eye. Vetis, I think loudly. It’s Vetis.
“Hi, Mr. Queen,” he says, showing us a charming smile. “I was just driving by so I thought I would ask. I didn’t think Beth would be able to drive today.”
“Thank you for being so considerate,” Dad says, his voice low. He doesn’t like Cain, probably because I convinced him the boy broke my heart. In a way that is what happened. It probably doesn’t help that he came by last night claiming to be my boyfriend. “But Willa’s going to be with her friends.” He smiles and shuts the door.
I cheer him on in my heart. “Thanks,” I mumble.
“That’s what I’m here for,” he tells me. I’m still holding the knife in my pocket, and my hand is starting to sweat. “Now come on, there’s bacon waiting in the kitchen for you.”
I nod as he walks away. As quietly as I can, when Dad’s out of sight, I lift the glass top and set the blade down. I can’t tell if it’s in the right way, but it’s there and that’s good enough for me. Dad calls for me to hurry up.
When I set the glass back down, I feel only slightly better. It’s one less thing to worry about for the day.
After breakfast I discover that Beth won’t answer any of my calls. I remind myself it isn’t personal, and that she either isn’t near her phone or she’s busy doing something with Joe’s family. Most likely it’s both.
Dad offers to stay home from work, but I tell him to go. I even lie and say I’m going to stay with Beth and Delilah for the day. After some negotiation he finally leaves, the door slamming shut behind him.
It’s so strange to be alone. My ears ring with the silence that surrounds me, an emptiness that is both comforting and scary. Is it like this for everyone, or just me? I wonder if I will ever get used to being alone. I’ve never really been left to my own devices before, and I hope I will have many more days like this. Of just me. Only my own thoughts in my head, my own voice and movements. I inhale and exhale a few times, thinking of what to do. Imagining a future of moments exactly like this.
My computer beckons to me, demanding I start working on my essay again. It knows of the looming deadline, but I avoid it. There’s no way I will be able to focus on anything other than demons today. I consider writing my essay on demons.
I remember the book that Beth had tried to give me, forgotten at the animal shelter, and possibly torn up by cats now. There is still a chance that it hasn’t been found, so I throw my bag over my shoulder and start walking.
I text Beth and Delilah to let them know I’m going to the shelter, and I try to convey I’m getting the book without giving away too many details. Neither of them replies, and as I find no new messages by the time I get to the shelter my lips turn downwards.
When I push the door open my phone finally lets out a short trill. Delilah.
She tells me she’s with Beth, and that they’re both at her house. She wants me to come over, so I tell her I’ll be there as soon as I can.
Lying my way into the shelter to see the cats, I sit with them for a few minutes before searching for the book. The receptionist isn’t watching me, and has gone outside for a cigarette.
I peer into the cat tower to find a pair of yellow eyes staring at me. My heart thumps hard as a low growl resonates from the tower. I can’t tell who is inside.
Reaching slowly with my cast covered hand, I feel a cat scratch at it as a quick warning. When I don’t retreat it growls louder. I grow tired of this, and grab it by the scruff on its neck and yank it forward. A small calico hisses and runs to the safety of another tower.
“Jerk,” I mumble to it. I don’t recognize the cat, so I assume it’s only just gotten here. Most cats are aggressive their first couple of weeks, and I make a mental note to leave it alone for another volunteer to break in.
My hand lands on the book. I can feel the long torn lines of cat scratches up and down its surface. Pulling it out I see the damage isn’t too bad; hopefully Beth won’t be too upset by it.
The rest of the book seems intact, with no pages missing or torn. The cover took the brunt of the damage. I glance over my shoulder to see if the receptionist has come back, and she hasn’t. I hurry back to my bag by the front door and stuff the book inside. I only stay another ten minutes before rushing to see Beth and Delilah.
Somewhere along the way I stop though, the weight of the book on my shoulder becoming too much. I want to open it, and allow my eyes to caress the ink and paper on my own. I take a seat on a nearby bench, knowing it’s a bad idea with Vetis in town, but finding no other option. The hunters can wait a few more minutes.
The scrawled writing is a little difficult to read, but I manage. The first few pages tell me nothing I don’t already know about demons; like who they enjoy possessing, or how to properly get rid of one. It goes over their strengths and weaknesses, and discusses how they cannot enter holy ground.
I flip forward, hoping for information on Vetis. Or how demons can be immune to the cross, or how one could actually convince a family of hunters that they are human. It sounds impossible, and I start to question just how good the Steele’s are at hunting.
Or maybe Vetis is just that strong. I shiver despite the sun against my back.
I find a passage that goes over why demons focus on particular souls. There are multiple reasons, and whoever wrote this part feels it is because demons simply enjoy torture; there’s no real
reason. I feel that might be the case with Vetis.
But as I read on I find a quick note about bloodlines. Some are worth more than others in Hell. A witch, for example, has the potential to become a demon upon death. Under the right circumstances, an entire bloodline can easily be twisted into something unholy.
I bite my lower lip. Could that be why Vetis is after my soul, or my family? I slowly close the book, unable to read further as my mind processes everything. My legs move but I’m not sure how I’m doing it; it isn’t the same as when Ithinara took over. I know I’m the one moving, but I don’t think about where I’m going.
I’m heading towards Beth’s house, finding only more questions along the way.
I stop at a crosswalk, awaiting the light to change. A car pulls up in front of me and stops, the windows tinted so black it is like looking into a mirror.
My eyes are wrong. They are too green, and I look too angry. I gasp and step back as the car turns the corner, taking my visage with it. I run across the street as soon as it’s safe, questioning if Ithinara is really gone. My hand touches the cross around my neck, and it is the only thing giving me hope that she is. If she was still inside of me, if she had merely tricked me into thinking she was gone…I wouldn’t be able to wear this.
But Vetis can touch the cross, and he is a demon.
I don’t know what to think anymore.
By the time I make it to Beth’s house I’m out of breath, running from nothing but my own thoughts. It’s been like that for a very long time.
I’m not sure if it will ever change.