“Natalie, I’m so sorry for everything.” We’re both sobbing now. “I didn’t realize until Saturday morning how much you mean to each other, and I was just looking out for him. That bitch Vanessa did a number on him, and I just couldn’t bear it if anyone hurt him like that again. But I can see the way you look at each other, you really love each other.”
“I know. Don’t worry about it, Sam. Just get us to him, please.” Oh God, what will I do if I lose him? After all the horrible things I said to him?
What if he never sees his baby?
No, I mustn’t think like that. He’s fine.
Please let him be fine!
Samantha finds parking and scrolls through her text messages as we run into the huge Seattle medical plaza to find the text from her father instructing us where to go.
We hold hands in the longest elevator ride of my life. Finally, we find his room. Neil and Lucy are standing outside the door, talking with a doctor. Lucy comes to us immediately when she sees us hurrying down the corridor.
“He’s going to be okay.”
Oh, thank Christ.
“What happened? Can I see him?” I can’t control the tears streaming down my face, and I just want to push her aside and run to my love.
“Yes, you can see him. They have him sedated.” Lucy holds one of our hands in each of hers. “We could have lost him.”
I look down at her and see the circles under her blue eyes, her pale skin. I hug her close.
“What happened?” I ask again.
“He was in a car accident very early this morning, around two a.m. A drunk driver sideswiped him and sent him into the median on Interstate 5.” Lucy wipes the tears under her eyes, and I feel like retching.
It was after I sent him away. Oh, this is all my fault!
“Why was he out at that time?” Samantha asks.
“We got in a fight,” I whisper. “This is my fault. Oh God, I’m so sorry.”
“No, sweetie, no.” Lucy folds me in her arms and rocks me. “It’s not your fault.”
“Nat, you go see him. I’ll stay here with Mom.” Sam pats my shoulder reassuringly, and I walk into Luke’s room.
My world stops moving.
He’s lying so still in the hospital bed. There’s a bandage above his left eye and a large bruise on his cheek. He’s in a hospital gown very much like the one I wore yesterday. There is a clamp on his index finger, a blood pressure cuff on his arm and an IV in the crook of his elbow. His left wrist is bandaged tightly.
I walk over to the side of his bed and grip his right hand in mine, then sink down in the chair and begin to weep.
“Please, baby, wake up. I need to hear your voice.” I’m stroking his hand and staring him in the face, willing him to wake up.
Neil walks in the room and pats my shoulder. “They gave him some medicine to help him sleep.”
“Are there internal injuries?” I ask.
“No, he has some bruised ribs and a sprained wrist, and he got knocked around a bit, but he’s very lucky. If the car had spun in the other direction, he would have gone over the bridge.”
I gasp and rest my cheek against Luke’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“Natalie, it’s not your fault, honey. Couples fight.”
I look up at Neil in surprise.
“Lucy told me that you’d fought and that that’s probably why Luke was out so late.” He smiles kindly and pats my shoulder again.
“I could have lost him,” I whisper.
“He’s going to be fine. He’ll just need some TLC for a few weeks. I’m going to take Lucy and the kids down to the cafeteria for some breakfast. Take your time.”
“I’m not leaving him.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
A pretty blond nurse bustles in and checks Luke’s vital signs and smiles at me. “He’s doing really well. Are you Natalie?”
“Yes,” I respond, surprised.
“He was asking for you this morning when he regained consciousness. He’ll be glad to see you when he wakes up.” She winks at me and leaves the room, and Luke and I are alone.
“Oh, honey.” I lean up and run my fingers through his soft blond hair. I hate seeing Luke like this, broken and vulnerable in this sterile bed. He’s so strong and steady. This is not him. It’s not right.
And I know that everyone says it’s not, but I can’t help but feel that it’s my fault that he’s here.
My phone rings, and it’s Jules.
“Hello,” I whisper, so I don’t wake Luke.
“What the hell is going on?”
I can tell she’s in a panic, and I start talking, low and fast. “Luke was in an accident after he left our place last night. We’re at Harbor View. He’s okay, just beat up, but they have him sedated.”
“I’m on my way.”
“Thanks, Jules.”
I sit at Luke’s side all morning as people come and go. His parents and siblings come in to hug me, and they take turns sitting vigil with me. Jules comes, bringing me a coffee and to also sit with me for a while.
The nurse and doctor both bustle in and out, reading machines and taking notes.
“How long will he sleep?” I ask the doctor.
“We gave him the medicine about six hours ago now, so he should wake up soon.”
“Can I snuggle next to him?” I look at the doctor, pleading with my eyes.
“His left wrist is sprained, and a couple ribs also on the left side are bruised. Stick to his right side, and you’ll be fine, but be gentle.”
“Thank you.”
I gingerly wriggle up next to his right side and kiss his stubbly cheek. I rest my head on his shoulder and run my fingers through his hair and down his face.
Oh, I love him so.
“I love you so much,” I whisper to him. “I’m so sorry for the way I acted. I’m so sorry.”
I continue to croon to him, laying my head on his shoulder and resting my hand over his heart. I stay very still so as not to move him and jostle him.
I wake to Luke’s lips on my forehead. I lift my head and find his beautiful blue eyes gazing down at me.
“Oh God, Luke.” The tears start again, but they’re tears of relief. He’s awake!
“Hush, baby, I’m okay.”
I adjust myself so he can wrap his right arm around my shoulders, and I run my fingers through his hair. “I’m so sorry. For everything.”
He kisses my forehead again. “I’m sorry too.” He brushes his fingers through my hair, and I kiss his jaw.
“How do you feel?”
“Sore. Relieved that you’re here.”
“Sam found me this morning.”
“She did?”
“Yeah, your parents called her, and she found me at your place.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “My place?”
“I went there this morning to apologize, but you weren’t home, so I was waiting for you there. Jules told her I was there.” As I remember those horrible moments of not knowing if he was dead or alive, I shudder.
“Are you cold?” he asks.
“No, I’m worried about you. Why were you out so late?”
“I couldn’t go home. You weren’t there. You wouldn’t let me stay with you, so I just decided to drive.”
I close my eyes and shake my head, ashamed of how I spoke to him last night.
“Yesterday was rough,” I whisper.
“Yes, it was. Will you tell me about it?”
I sit up, and he frowns. “First, let me get the doctor so he can examine you, and once we get you taken care of, if you still want to talk, we will.”
“Don’t leave me.” He holds on to me tightly, clenching his eyes shut.
“Never again,” I tell him, and his eyes open quickly, finding mine. “Never,” I repeat.
I reach over and push the red nurse-call button.
“How can I help you?” a disembodied voice asks.
“Luke is awake,” I respond, still stroking Luke’s h
air.
“Someone will be right in.”
“Hello, Mr. Williams.” The doctor smiles at Luke and, seeing me curled up at his side, winks at me. “I have good news for you. We’re going to kick you out of here tomorrow. You’re banged up pretty good, but nothing is broken, and according to the CT scan, you don’t have any internal injuries. You are a very lucky man.”
“Thank you. Can I eat?”
“Are you hungry?” I ask him.
“Starving.”
“Sure, you can eat. Start with something light. No steaks today.”
I get up off the bed so the doctor can examine Luke. Taking advantage of the time, I call Jules and ask her to bring Luke a light sandwich and cup of soup from our favorite deli, and then I call Luke’s mom, using the number she gave me earlier, to let them know that Luke is awake and being released tomorrow.
They promise to visit later this evening.
The doctor finishes up as I hang up the phone.
“Jules is bringing you some dinner.” I take his right hand in mine and bring it up to my cheek.
“You should go home and eat, get some rest.”
“I’m not leaving until you do.”
I expect a bit of an argument, but he smiles shyly and caresses my cheek. “Okay. Will you tell me about yesterday?”
“Persistent, aren’t you?”
“I want to know what happened.”
“Maybe we should talk about this tomorrow, after we’re home.”
“Talk to me, baby.” His face is somber and a little sad, and I close my eyes. Should I tell him about the baby while he’s here in the hospital, or should I wait?
I open my eyes, and he’s still patiently watching me, and I know that he deserves to know the truth.
I take a deep breath. “I wasn’t feeling well yesterday morning before you left, but I thought it was just nerves because you were flying, and I was scared.”
I grip his hand in mine, and he squeezes gently. “I wish you’d told me.”
“I didn’t want to worry you. When I got back to my place, I got violently sick. I spent a good hour throwing up, even when there wasn’t anything left to throw up.” I squish up my nose in disgust. “Sexy, huh?”
“Keep talking,” he responds.
“Jules made me go to the ER when the vomiting showed no signs of stopping.”
“Why didn’t one of you call me?”
“You were in meetings all day, and there was nothing you could do from LA.”
“I could have caught the next flight out.”
“I just wanted to see what the doctor said. I thought for sure I had the flu, and they would tell me to drink juice and sleep it off.” I shrug.
“What did they tell you?”
I bite my lip and shut my eyes for just a moment. “Well, I’m healthy.”
“But?”
Here goes nothing.
“I’m six weeks pregnant,” I whisper.
I’m looking down at our hands. The room is silent.
Finally, after what feels like hours, he whispers, “Look at me.”
I shake my head no.
“Look at me, baby.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“Look at my face, Natalie.”
I slowly look up at him, and he is gazing at me with love and wonder and a little confusion. But he’s not mad.
“You’re not angry?” I ask.
“Why would I be angry?”
“Because it’s too soon.” I shake my head and close my eyes. “It’s just too soon.”
“I’m not angry. But, Nat, didn’t you say that you were on birth control?”
“I was. I’m OCD when it comes to taking my pill, but the doctor said that, just like all birth control methods, it can fail, and clearly, it did.”
I look up into his gorgeous face and take a deep breath, steadying myself to finish the story.
“So, the doctor told me I was pregnant and did an ultrasound to see how far along I am. I have a picture. I’ll show you in a minute.”
“Okay,” he whispers.
“After the doctor left, Jules was flipping through channels on the TV in the room and stopped on an evening gossip show, and that’s when I saw you.” I try to release his hand so I can stand and pace, but he holds on tight.
“Don’t go. Finish the story.”
“My world fell apart. I hated seeing those pictures, more than I’ve hated anything in my life. I hated the way you were looking at her…” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat.
“Nat, it was nothing.”
“I know, but it didn’t look like nothing, and then I learned that you’d been engaged to her, and I was hormonal and scared and sick, and I just wanted to be in your arms.”
“Come up here.”
I lie back down next to him, and he cradles me close to him.
“When I couldn’t reach you yesterday, it made me crazy. I couldn’t concentrate in any of my meetings. It’s not like you to not respond or answer your phone.”
“At first I didn’t know what to say, and then I was mad at you.”
“I caught a late flight back to Seattle and went straight to your place, and you know the rest.”
“I’m sorry for the things I said.”
“Me, too.”
“Luke, I don’t want you anywhere near that woman. I don’t want you to work with her.”
“I called her after I left your place last night and told her that I was going with someone else for the movie. I won’t talk to her again. I’m sorry I hurt you. I wasn’t holding her when we left the restaurant. I certainly didn’t kiss her. I probably hugged her goodbye, but it didn’t mean anything. I don’t even remember what I was doing, but the rags always twist things to look the way they want them to. I was probably thinking about calling you.”
“So,” Luke says, and I tilt my head back so I can see his eyes, “we’re having a baby.”
He smiles, widely, and just looks so…proud of himself.
“Looks that way.”
“I guess we’d better get married sooner rather than later.”
“Luke, I don’t want you to feel like you have to marry me just because I’m pregnant…”
“Stop right there. I asked you to marry me before we knew you were pregnant.”
“I know, but…”
“No buts. Natalie, I love you so much. I want children with you. This is a wonderful thing. It is soon, sooner than I would have preferred, but a baby is never a bad thing. You’re going to be a fantastic mom.”
I didn’t know I could cry so much in one day. More tears flow. I’m relieved and happy and so in love with this beautiful man.
He leans down and rubs his nose across mine and kisses me in that gentle way that makes me swoon. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too.”
“Oh God, Natalie, the poor man has almost been killed. Must you maul him?” Jules breezes in with a bag full of food. She shakes her head in exasperation.
“Don’t be a brat, Jules.” I sit up and start unloading Luke’s food for him. My stomach grumbles, and I’m pleased to see that she brought some for me, too.
“We’re having a baby.” Luke gives Jules a wide smile.
“I know. I’m so happy for you guys.” Jules walks to him and plants a kiss on his cheek, smiling at both of us.
“Lips off my man, Montgomery.”
“Jesus, you’re so selfish.”
***
We’ve been home for a week, and Luke has mostly recovered from his injuries. There will be no visits to the gym for a few more weeks, but the bruises have faded.
“The moving van is here.”
“You are not lifting anything. Don’t even think about it. Your wrist is still healing.” He hasn’t even lifted me lately, and I’m missing it.
“Well, that makes two of us.”
“I didn’t hurt my wrist.” I raise an eyebrow at him as he crosses the great room to me.
“I do lov
e your sassy mouth.” He slaps my bottom, and I squeal, before he moves his hand around to settle on my belly. “There is no lifting for the beautiful woman I knocked up.”
I laugh and caress his handsome face. “Are you sure about me moving in here?”
“Of course. We’re getting married in two months anyway. It makes sense.” He stiffens and frowns down at me. “Don’t you want to?”
“I want to be wherever you are. It doesn’t make sense for us to move in with Jules.” I smirk. “Jules can live in the house as long as she pleases, and I’ll still use the studio for work.”
“But?” He raises an eyebrow.
“But I think that as our family grows, we might need more bedrooms.”
His face softens, and he kisses me gently on the forehead. “I’ll buy you any house you want.”
“I want to stay here for now. We’ll keep our options open.”
“Okay.” He kisses me again before the moving guys ring the doorbell and start unloading boxes and a few pieces of furniture. I left the majority of everything at the other house for Jules. All of the boxes go up into a spare bedroom, so I can sort through them at my own pace. The unloading doesn’t take long.
“Do you need to work this afternoon?” I ask Luke after the men leave.
“No, you?”
“Nope.” I walk toward the stairway and start ascending the stairs toward our bedroom.
“What in the world should we do to occupy our time on a rainy Thursday afternoon?” Luke murmurs in my ear at the top of the stairs.
“Hmm…we could read,” I suggest.
“Nah, I’ve been doing a lot of that lately.” He nibbles my neck and wraps his hands around my waist, spreading his palm over my belly.
“We could watch a movie.”
“I’m not in the mood.”
We finally make it to the bedroom, and I turn in his arms, kissing him softly while I run my fingers down his cheek.
“I’m all out of ideas,” I whisper.
“That’s okay,” he whispers back. “I have a few ideas of my own.”
Epilogue
“Holy shit.”
I’m standing in a beautiful bungalow in Tahiti, in front of a full-length mirror, and I don’t even recognize the woman staring back at me.
I love my wedding dress. It’s long and billowy. It’s white chiffon with a beaded bodice and spaghetti straps, and the skirt falls from the empire waist all the way to the ground. I won’t be wearing shoes today. My makeup is classic and simple, perfect for a beach wedding, and my hair is curled into an intricate bun behind my left ear with a red rose pinned to it.