“How early were they?”
“About three weeks,” I reply.
“Where was Jeff?” he growls.
I laugh again and trace Josie’s soft cheek with my fingertip.
“Working. Always working.” I bite my lip, hating that I feel tears coming on. “He wasn’t even there when they were born.”
Caleb curses under his breath.
“He wasn’t a bad man, Caleb.” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Honestly, he just shouldn’t have ever started a family with anyone. I knew when I married him that the job was his priority. He never made that a secret.”
Josie stirs, changing position in my arms.
“I guess I thought he might change once the girls were born.” I smile at Caleb sadly. “But he didn’t. And we realized early on that he shouldn’t be with us.”
“So you’ve been a single mom from day one.” It’s not a question.
“I have.” I nod. “I love them so much. They are worth every hour of sleep lost, Caleb. But, damn, it’s exhausting and scary when they’re sick. There are times that I’ve had one throwing up in the bathroom and one throwing up in her bed, and I can only be with one of them. What am I supposed to do then?”
I look up at him and let the tears fall silently down my cheeks in frustration.
“Or when they’re both crying for me, and I can only hold one of them at a time, especially now that they’re so much bigger.” I shake my head and wipe my cheeks. “I worry that I’m not enough for them.”
“Stop, baby. You’re such a great mom. They couldn’t love you more.”
I just nod and gaze at Maddie resting peacefully in Caleb’s strong arms, her cheeks still pink with fever.
“When I told them that their dad died,” I whisper and swallow, rocking slowly, “I thought they’d be hysterical, but they just frowned and Maddie said, ‘Does that mean we won’t see him again?’”
I turn my eyes back down to Josie and kiss the top of her head.
“What did you say?” he asks quietly.
“I just said yes, that was right. Neither of them cried, Caleb. They just frowned and hugged me, because they said I looked sad. They didn’t mourn him because they didn’t know him.”
“It was his loss, Bryn, and his own doing.”
“I know.” I nod. “It just makes me so sad because they are so wonderful, and he missed out on knowing them.”
Suddenly, Josie stirs again and cries before throwing up all over me.
“Here we go again.”
***
Twenty hours later, we are all exhausted. At one point during the day, Meg brought us all soup and sandwiches, broth for the girls, and looked over them to make sure that it was indeed just the flu.
The past two hours have been relatively calm. The fevers are coming down, and they’ve managed to sleep relatively peacefully.
“I think we’re about through the worst of it,” I murmur and comb my fingers through Maddie’s hair. I’m lying beside her, dozing on and off with her. Caleb is rocking Josie in the chair.
“She loves to rock,” he murmurs with a soft smile.
“She’s always been my rocker,” I agree. “Maddie can sleep anywhere, anytime. Josie, not so much. But sit in a rocking chair with her, and she’s a goner.”
“I’m going to try to lay her down,” he mutters and kisses her forehead. “Fevers are down, thank God. They scared me.”
How can I resist a man who is so good to my girls?
I let my eyes drift closed, listening to him tuck Josie in her bed. I must doze for just a minute, because the next thing I know, Caleb is lifting me off the bed.
“I can walk,” I protest but wrap my arms around his neck. “I’m not a small woman like Jules.”
“You’re fine.”
“I’m not feeling terribly sexy,” I murmur apologetically.
“I think I can control myself tonight,” he replies with a laugh.
“I should stay with the girls. You go to bed.”
“I grabbed the monitor.” He holds it up for me to see. “So we’ll hear them if they need us. For right now, I’m going to put you in a hot bath. You deserve it, sweetheart.”
When he carries me into the bathroom, I’m shocked to see that he’s already filled the tub with steaming hot water and my lavender bath oil.
“How long was I out?” I ask.
“About fifteen minutes.” He sets me down on the toilet seat, props the monitor by the sink and helps me out of my clothes and into the hot bath.
“Oh my, that feels good.” I pull in a deep breath and let it out slow, then open my eyes and gaze up at the man standing next to the tub, his hands in his pockets. His eyes are tired. “This tub is big enough for two, you know.”
“Nope, this is just for you, Legs. But do you mind if I jump in the shower while you soak?”
“Hmm…” I scrunch up my face like I’m thinking really hard. “Watch a sexy man get naked and take a shower while I lie here and be lazy? Sure, why not?”
“Smart-ass.” He laughs and strips naked, completely comfortable in his own skin, and turns on the water in the shower.
I may be exhausted, but I’m not dead. Dear Jesus, the man is just hot.
“What is the tat on your back?” I ask. I can’t read it from here, but it looks like four lines of script on his shoulder blade.
He drapes a green towel over the bar beside the shower and then backs up so I can get a closer look.
MONTGOMERY, CALEB J
990001212USN O NEG
CHRISTIAN
US CITIZEN
“What is it?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“It’s exactly what’s on my dog tags, in case I was ever…”
“I get it,” I interrupt him, not wanting to even contemplate the what-ifs.
He looks over his shoulder at me and then frowns when he sees the look on my face.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I shake my head and sink farther down into the water. “Thank God you’re safe.”
He bends down to kiss my head and whispers, “I’m fine, baby.” Then he walks into the shower.
Dear God, what if he’d ever been captured? Tortured?
Killed?
A shudder wracks my body, despite the hot water. I reach over to grab the soap, but it slips out of my hand, falling to the floor with a loud thunk.
“Are you okay?” Caleb shouts and throws the shower door open, his eyes wild and chest heaving as he pants.
“I’m fine. I just dropped the soap.”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head, and without a word, closes the shower door and finishes cleaning himself.
When he leaves the shower, he won’t meet my eyes. He dries himself off, tying the towel around his hips, and helps me out of the bath. When I reach for a towel, he takes it from me and dries me himself.
“Are you okay?” I whisper.
“Fine.”
He continues to dry me off, then takes my hand in his and pulls me into the bedroom, where he helps me into my pajamas and pulls on his own underwear and black basketball shorts.
“I’ll sleep on the couch.”
He starts to leave the room, but I stop him.
“Bullshit. You’ll sleep in this bed with me, Caleb Montgomery.”
He stops in the doorway and drops his head, as if in defeat, and then turns to me, his eyes sad. “I shouldn’t, Bryn. The girls are here.”
“We’re not naked. The girls will be fine. We’ll probably be up before them anyway.”
He props his hands on his hips and lowers his gaze.
“I’m afraid of hurting you in my sleep,” he admits, his voice a hoarse whisper.
“What?” I ask and instinctively move to him, wrap my arms around his waist and pull him against me. “You’d never hurt me.”
“Not intentionally, not ever.” He cradles my face in his palms and gazes down at me intently. “But when the nightmares come, I get pretty violent
, Bryn.”
“I’ll be fine.”
He shakes his head, but I hold on tight.
“If you abandon me now, after the battle we just went through together, I’ll kick your ass.”
His lips twitch before he rests them on my forehead and takes a deep breath.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
He laces his fingers with mine and leads me over to the bed, tucks us both in, and pulls me against him, my back to his front.
“Thank you, Caleb. For everything.”
I hear him sigh before he leans over and kisses the sensitive skin beneath my ear.
“Good night, Legs.”
Chapter Seven
“Good morning!” Nat announces and kisses my cheek as she moves past me into my living room.
“Morning, sunshine.” Meg grins and kisses my other cheek.
“You two are entirely too chipper for eight thirty in the morning.” I shut and lock the door, as Caleb has instructed over and over again, and lead the girls into the kitchen.
“Oh good, you have creamer,” Meg murmurs as she digs in my fridge.
“I bought it just for you.” I grin over at the pretty auburn-haired woman and then hug Natalie, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and holding her tight. “How are you, little mama?”
“Good.” She grins and hugs me back. “I’m hardly sick at all with this one.” She covers her still-flat belly with her hand and rubs in a clockwise circle.
“You could have brought Livie with you,” I mention as we all fill our mugs and sit at the table.
This is our weekly coffee date. I don’t have to be to work until ten, so we usually meet for a quick cup of something hot and gossip. “Jules stuck at work?”
“Luke loves his mornings with Liv, so they’re good.” Nat waves me off. “And, yes, Jules is in early-morning meetings.”
“Stacy is home with two sick kids.” I grimace and take a sip of hot coffee, leaning my elbows on the table.
“How are yours?” Meg asks and joins us.
“Much better, thank God. They finally went back to school this morning.” It’s been a week since the girls were sick. “As much as I love them, I was about to put them up for adoption if they didn’t go back to school soon.”
“Good morning, ladies.” Caleb saunters into the kitchen, wearing a dark blue Navy T-shirt and black shorts. He smiles at the girls and then turns that smile on me, his eyes warm and tender, as though he’s remembering every little amazingly sexy thing he did to me this morning.
“Good morning,” we all respond in unison.
“What are you up to?” Meg asks.
“I’m gonna work out for a while out back.” He grins at Natalie. “Thanks for letting me install the equipment.”
Natalie smiles and shrugs. “No problem.”
Nat offered her Alki Beach house to the girls and me right after Jules moved out to live with Nate, and I couldn’t love her more for it. It meant that I didn’t have to put my name on a lease anywhere, and the girls and I don’t have to live with my folks.
Caleb offers us a mock salute and leaves through the back door to the fenced yard behind the house, where he’s set up all sorts of odd equipment to work out with.
“How are things with him?” Meg asks and gestures to the back door with her head.
“Fine.” I shrug and take a sip of coffee.
“Are you sleeping with him yet?” Nat asks casually, and I gape at her.
“No,” I lie and take another sip of coffee. “He’s here to protect the girls and me.”
“Right.” Meg rolls her eyes and pushes out of her chair to refill our mugs. “That’s why he looks at you like he wants to rip your clothes off and do you here on the kitchen table.”
It’s fun when he does me on the kitchen table.
But I simply shake my head and laugh.
“Whatever.”
“Deny it if you want to.” Meg smirks and glances out the back window. “Damn,” she whispers.
“What is it?” Nat asks and rises from the table to see what Meg is looking at. Her eyes widen, and she glances back at me and then outside again. “Holy shit.”
I know exactly what they’re watching.
Or, who.
And, yes, he is a sight to behold.
“How do you ever get anything done around here?” Meg asks as I rise and lean against the sliding glass door, coffee cradled in my hands, and watch the sexy man in my backyard. “I’d just stand around and watch him all day.”
“Uh, Meg.” I glance over at her and laugh. “You have one of these at home,” I remind her, referring to Caleb’s pro-football star brother, Will, who is also Meg’s live-in boyfriend.
“And it’s a good thing he’s gone most of the day or I wouldn’t get anything done either.”
“It’s starting to rain,” Nat observes, but it doesn’t seem to faze Caleb.
He lifts two thick, heavy ropes in both of his hands. The ends are attached to Nat’s photo studio out back. With a firm grip on the ropes, he begins to quickly wave them up and down, the rain pounding down on him, causing his shirt to cling to every muscle as they flex and move with the motion of the exercise.
“Hot damn,” Nat whispers, and I silently agree. He continues to pump his arms furiously, effortlessly. “What does that exercise do?” Nat asks.
“Works his arms, back and abdomen, and it’s cardio, too,” Meg responds and takes a sip of coffee.
Just then, Caleb drops the ropes, bends down to grab a medicine ball and lowers his tall body to the sit-up position.
“Maybe he’ll bend over again,” I murmur, earning giggles from the other two women.
“It’s a good thing Jules isn’t here,” Nat mutters and licks her lips as Caleb holds the medicine ball in front of him, sits at a forty-five-degree angle, and twists from his left to his right, over and over again. “She’d never let us watch him like this.”
“Jesus, that medicine ball is fifty pounds,” Meg whispers, amazed.
“Watch this part,” I urge them as Caleb tosses the ball to the side like it’s a beach ball and assumes the push-up position and begins to easily execute more than a hundred push-ups in two minutes.
“Why aren’t you sleeping with him again?” Meg asks, and I choke on my coffee.
“I might be,” I whisper and feel their astonished gazes on me, but I avoid them. “Don’t you dare breathe a word of that to anyone.”
“Who can blame you?” Nat asks just as Caleb stands and returns to the ropes. “Look at those back muscles.”
“Look at that ass,” Meg counters.
“You should see it naked,” I respond, and we all giggle again.
“Should I be grossed out by this?” Nat asks, tilting her head to the side. “He’s practically my brother.”
“But he’s not your brother, Nat,” I remind her with a grin. “And the Montgomery men are freaking hot.”
“That’s no lie,” Meg agrees. “Aren’t you going to be late for work?” she asks me.
“I have a few minutes,” I murmur and feel the familiar pull low in my belly as I watch Caleb lie on the ground again to do more sit-ups.
It would be the perfect position for me to ride him. I might have to suggest that tonight.
“He’s hardly panting,” I observe. “What kind of physical training must he go through to work that hard and have it hardly faze him?”
“Oh girl, you have no idea the rigorous training they go through to become SEALs. It’s not natural.” Nat shudders. “All of the boys have always been athletic.”
“Obviously,” I murmur sarcastically. “It’s a bit intimidating.”
“Caleb can be the scariest person on Earth if he’s pissed off,” Nat informs us, her eyes still glued to him. “He’s just big and strong, and damn intimidating.”
“You should see him with the girls.” I grin, remembering our movie night last week. “He’s funny and sweet.”
I realize
the room has gone dead silent. I look at my friends to find them looking at each other and then staring at me. “What?”
“You’ve got it bad,” Nat remarks and snickers. “Welcome to the club.”
“What club?”
“The ‘I Love a Hot Man’ club, sweetheart.” Meg laughs and salutes me with her mug just as Caleb approaches the sliding door, frowning at me.
I step back in surprise as the girls giggle.
“What’s wrong?” Caleb asks, his hair and clothes soaked and a little muddy from the rain and grass.
“Nothing,” I reply and shrug.
He narrows his eyes at me, watching me closely, and then turns his gaze to Nat and Meg.
“What’s going on with you guys?”
“Nothing at all,” Nat replies with a huge grin. “Just girl talk.”
“Uh huh.” He props his hands on his lean hips and watches all three of us for a moment and then shrugs and saunters to the fridge to get a cold bottle of water. “We have to leave soon,” he reminds me.
“I know.” I nod and watch as he saunters out of the room toward the stairway to go up and shower.
Natalie suddenly pulls me in for a long, hard hug. “Good luck,” she whispers and then pulls back.
“Have a good day at the office, dear.” Meg grins.
“Thanks.”
***
I love my job. Not only because I’m good at it, but because it’s fun, and I feel like I’m part of a family.
Isaac Montgomery owns this construction business. He is married to Stacy, my first cousin, although she and I were really raised more like sisters. Since leaving Chicago, Isaac has not only looked out for me, but has given me this job in his office, paying me under the table to help in my need to disappear.
Thank God for them.
In the past year, I’ve not only cleaned up Isaac’s accounts and maintained his billing and payroll, but I’ve blended into the camaraderie of the guys who work for him.
Of course, there is harmless flirting and teasing, but at the end of the day, I know the guys all have my back, and they’re fun to joke with when they come into my office with questions about their checks or benefits, or just to chat before they head out to a job site.