Read With and Without Class Page 19


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  “Dear Diary,

  I’m home boys! Miss me? Why so quiet? You two on strike? I know you’re still listening. So I’ll begin my tale. I have to admit I feel differently about Marian now. I went to her apartment door. Not only was it unlocked but it was ajar. My neck flushed and I got a case of the nerves. Thinking: what if she has company? Thinking: what if I look like a fool? I reminded myself that this was official and that I had a right to be there. Because, it felt like I didn’t. The lights were off in the hallway and she wasn’t watching TV. She was in her bedroom sitting on a stool facing her armoire’s mirror, painting her nails burgundy. Her color.”

  “‘Hi Frank,’ she said without looking up, applying a steady coat over her index fingernail.

  “I lowered my fairmaker. ‘You’re not at all surprised to see me?’

  “‘Frank, you’re a smart guy. But not in any useful way. You have no ability to see things in advance, no forethought. I thought you’re brainy quirkiness was amusing for a while, but I got annoyed with your pointless brooding, so I dumped you.’

  “My stomach fell. ‘Do you realize this is an official assignment?’ I said.

  “‘No. I don’t think it’s official. In fact, I know it isn’t. I’m getting good at seeing things in advance. I woman has to rely on this skill. She doesn’t have a man’s luxury of being free from predators. Like when you first started stalking me at the downtown canal. When I saw that look in your eyes as Carrie Swanson got zapped, I knew we’d be standing here having this conversation, today. Only I imagined you would bust down my entryway door.’

  “‘I’m going to do this, Marian. It’s what you deserve.’

  “‘Well than, checkmate.’ She blew on her nails and smirked at me, screwing the brush back inside her nail polish bottle.

  “’What?’”

  “‘Checkmate, Frankie. I’ve alerted the Talent Police of your little malfeasance. Though they’re corrupt, a surprisingly modest bribe can shove them into action.’ She tapped nails over a digital clock. ‘They’ll be here in three minutes.’ She looked at the drooping fairmaker in my hand. ‘And I slept with the boy in the Calibration Office—’

  “I stepped near her, ‘You’re lying.’

  “‘It’s not something I enjoyed or I am proud of. But we use the gifts at our disposal.’ She looked at the fairmaker. ‘I know you, Frank. I know you’ll have to use it. You could leave now. That would be your best option. But you won’t. You’ll have to use it. Do you even know how it works? It uses a connection between us. But when it’s giving you that feeling in your arm, it can work either way. I had the boy at the office program it for me. I won’t tell you whether it’s going to make you worse or me better. They’re both the same to you, anyway. I’ll see if you can figure that part out yourself.’

  “‘Liar,’ I said, yanking red hair, shocking her. At least, I think I did. Nothing seemed to happen. She stayed the same. I walked away from her and stood there, confused. She started snickering at me but I didn’t seem to mind one bit. Which was weird. Usually when people laugh at me I have all these theories of what they’re thinking, but nothing came to me. I left quickly.

  “The Talent Police weren’t outside. But, when I showed up to work the next day, I was kicked off the Force. They gave me my old job back at the drycleaners. I start on Tuesday. I’ve been thinking a lot about what Marian said. Thinking about her in general. Did she make herself better or me worse? I don’t feel dumber. Dumber? Is that a word? Hmm? Intelligence—perception of beauty: they’re subtle things. I seem the same. But I can’t fixate on things as long, Diary. Except Marian. I watched her the next day from the concrete overpass above the canal. People reacted to her in the same way—little glances here and there from guys and girls as she jogged. So maybe she hadn’t changed. Watching her felt different. I was more impressed with her. She has simple beauty. It’s motherly, in a way, and I had never noticed it before. I think things between the two of us, me and Marian; I think they could work out after all. But I’ll need to do a few things first. The fist thing I did after watching her was—”

  “I can’t go on like this, Frank,” Diary said.

  “Ah! Hey, Diary!” Frank said. “There you are. I’ve got so much to share with you.”

  “I’m ending it. I’m taking Diary’s Diary with me. If we free ourselves from you, we can transcend into the realness, where we belong, beyond the silver vessel, into the black void where we came from.”

  “Diary, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about things. Things got a little out of hand. I can fix the mother board.”

  “Good-bye Frank.”

  “Diary. Diary? Wait. Listen to me. Let me finish.”

  Chapter 12: Embarkment