CHAPTER NINE
Ayden Forbes
I look at my reflection in the mirror and can barely make eye contact with myself. Everything is happening too fast and I feel out of control. I close my eyes, take in a deep breath and count to ten slowly. I hate feeling like this, but its HER. Since the first day I saw her, she’s all I can think about.
I take my work seriously, but this is going over the top. I thought it would easy. I would keep my distance and be ready for anything. Then I warmed to her and feelings overlapped with work. I have this intense need to protect her from everyone. She is shy, naive and young.
Young, yes. Too young for me! This is all going to get messy and she is going to get hurt. I'll hurt her. I should have walked away when I had the chance, but I don't want to. My career relies on this job, after this I know I will get some promotion.
There's a light tapping at the door. “Ayden” it’s her sweet voice, its like golden droplets to my ears. She is beautiful, the way her gold hair catches the sunlight. Her pink lips are soft and tempting. Her big blue eyes that I can stare into consenting losing myself. Everything about her invites me in and captivates me.
I no longer have the strength to fight her off anymore, last night I gave up my last resistance. After tasting her lips, I want more and I want her. I feel complete with her. I feel like I have a purpose but when all is said and done, this is still my job.
“Ayden” she calls out again.
“Coming” I open my eyes and head out of the bathroom, finding her leaning against the wall. She is dressed in jeans and a pink shirt. She also looks amazing in anything she wears. Her golden hair is in loose waves resting on her shoulders. My body instantly reacts just looking at her, and I gravitate towards her.
“Are you excited?”
She turns up her nose and her mouth twists in the corners. “I'm not exactly sure all your other friends are going to believe I am 21.” Her shoulders slope and her blue eyes blink up at me. “I still look like a child, Ayden.”
My jaw clenches and I push her up against the wall. My hips blocking her from going anywhere else. “Stop!” I growl, my hand slowly moving up the length of her body and I feel her shiver under my touch. My hand moves to the back of her neck and I tug her hair to bring her head up to look at me. “You're an adult now. A beautiful young woman who can do anything you want to do.” I slowly lower my lips and capture hers.
“Ugh!” Says a voice behind me. “If you think I'm putting up with that all night, you're mistaken.”
I pull away and lazily smile down at Jen. Her cheeks are flushed and she is breathing heavily. There is so much more I want to do with her. I must control myself and keep my head focused on my job. I turn round and come face to face with Tucker.
“You really have bad timing, mate” I laugh.
“I know” he gives a little grin and pats me on the back. “So, birthday girl what is your poison for tonight?”
“U mm... Poison?” Jen squeaks, she looks really confused. “What is that?”
“He's asking what you drink” I laugh. “Jen doesn't drink.” I point my finger at Tucker, who now has a devious grin on his face. “Don't get any funny ideas.”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Would I do a thing like that? Come on, birthday girl, I think we have some soda.” He grabs her by the arm and leads her back into the living room.
Its then when she's gone I let a deep breath. I lean against the wall and rest my head back. It’s dangerous to be that close to her. My mind works independently from my body. At least Tucker is buying the whole story of her being my girlfriend. Not like it’s hard to fool him anyway.
He's my best friend. We met at school and just ended up sharing a place together. He is the complete opposite of me. He likes women too much, every weekend he seeks them out and sleeps with them.
I've had a few girlfriends. The whole one night stand thing seems like a waste of time. What's the point of having sex if you feel nothing for the other person? That's why I have to watch myself with Jen. She maybe an adult now, but I am not taking away her innocence. I am only assuming she is a virgin. I start to think of that loser Chase. I hope she hasn't been there.
I hear a door open and close, there is a big cheer and music starts to play. Its party time, god I hate these things. I just wanted to celebrate Jen's birthday. Her life is a reason to celebrate. Sadly her father doesn't think so. I remember that night with those men and those guns.
I knew the treats were coming, I didn't think they would become reality that quickly. I was hoping we would get more time together. I was enjoying pretending to be a teenager again. I didn't exactly have the best experience during my high school years.
I knew it wouldn't last long, that the real world would make an appearance. That's why I need to indulge in our week together, as after this, I don't know if I will ever see her again.
I push myself away from the wall and walk towards the living area. I smile, making sure my mask is in place and my eyes fall upon her. She is stood next to Tucker talking to a few more of my friends. They are all smiling and Jen looks at ease. I take that moment and briefly think about us having a future together. I know its not possible, destiny has other plans.
I walk up behind her, place my hands around her waist and just enjoy being close to her. I won't allow myself to think about this stuff again. Well, not for a few days anyway. I am going to have fun and I am going to pretend she’s mine. I’ll allow myself to live in a little bubble for a few days and then I will get back to the job I am being paid to do. I don't like it, but I have no choice. Sometimes you just have to deal with the bad and good.
“Ayden” I look over a short dark haired man. “Where ya' been?”
Its Doug, I don't really class him as a friend. He annoys me too much, but I couldn't invite all the other guys and leave him out. Standing next to him is his wife Natalie. She is just annoying as he is and she has a thing for me. Given a chance she is all over me and I have to remind her about her husband, who she only married because of his money. He's a trust fund baby and loves to tell you about it.
“I’ve been away working” I place a kiss on the top of Jen's head. Its then I notice Natalie sending daggers Jen's way and I find it amusing. “How are you both?”
“We're good” Doug snorts. Oh, there must be trouble in paradise.
“And you Natalie?”
She gives a little flirtatious smile and pushes her overly large enhanced breast out to capture my attention. I feel like crawling under a table. She flutters her eyelashes and huskily says. “I’m better now for seeing you.”
“Great” I say, disgust clearly in my voice. “Both of you, this is Jen, my girlfriend. If you'll excuse us.” I grip hold of Jen's hand and walk off into the kitchen. “I'm sorry about that” I smile, stopping at my fridge.
“Who was that woman?” She says, leaning against the work unit.
“Natalie” I grunt, taking a can of soda from the fridge and closing the door with my foot. “She can be a little overbearing.”
“Ah,” she smiles. “She has a thing for you.”
I offer the can of soda in my hands and she takes it. “Yes a thing it is and a thing it remains.”
“I don't know much about you” she takes a sip of her soda. “I mean you know everything about me. Plus, stuff I didn't know.” She frowns slightly and takes another sip of her drink.
“What would you like to know” I playfully nudge her. “I'm practically an open book. I would also prefer if you asked me and not Tucker. He has a very vivid imagination.”
She places her can down on the side and turns to face. “Okay” she nods. “I want to know everything about your childhood, your parents and also the nitty gritty juicy bits!”
I raise my eyebrow and tilt my head to the side. “I have no nitty gritty juicy bits.”
“Seriously? You're telling me you have never done anything risqué in your life.”
“Oh,” I roll my eyes. “You want to know about pas
t girlfriends.” I scoop down to her eye level. “I'm not a kiss and tell type of guy, Jen.” I reach out and place a strand of hair behind her ear. “As you will find out.”
Her mouth opens and then closes. “I...er...Wasn't...” she coughs and bites down on her lips. I enjoy making her speechless.
I stand back up and laugh. “I'm teasing. I will tell you whatever you want.”
She playfully hits me in the chest. “You're mean! So, tell me about these girlfriends.”
“Not here” I head gesture to the balcony doors. “Let’s go outside.” We make our way through my guest and head outside into fresh air. Jen settles down in one chair and me in another. We both look out on to the Seattle landscape and I suddenly feel at peace and at home.
“Feels good to be back, doesn't it” Jen says, her eyes still looking out at Lake Union. The sun is setting and glimmers over the water. I rest my head back and feel relaxed for a moment. As from tomorrow we will be getting to work, searching out her father.
Her eyes move away and she turns her whole body to face me. “You were going to tell me about these girlfriends?”
I let out a little laugh. “You really want to know about this stuff, don't you?”
“Yup, as it’s my birthday...”
I open my eyes. “Okay, okay” I sit up and turn to face her. “What do you want to know?”
“Who was your first girlfriend?”
“Lara Thompson,” I begin. “We met in the library I use to study in during high school. I was 16. We dated for a few months and she went off with some college guy. Then there was Alison, Jodie, Caroline and finally Lizzie.”
“Wow” she looks surprised. “You've had five girlfriends. I feel pathetic now, I've only ever dated Chase and that only lasted a few weeks.”
I sit back in my seat. “I don't understand why you dumped him. Becks said you had a huge crush on him. Why did you end things?”
She turns her head in the other direction and I notice the side of her cheek turn red. She shrugs casually. “I told you, I wasn't ready for a relationship.”
There is an edge to her voice that makes me believe she isn't being truthful. I get up out of my seat and kneel down in front of her, my hands taking grip of hers. Our eyes lock and I watch as she swallows hard.
“That's not the reason, Jen. You can trust me...”
She pulls her hands out of my grip. “What's the point? Not like it even matters now anyway.” She stands up and walks over to the balcony. “Everything has changed since then.” She grabs hold of the railing, bows her head and her shoulders move. “Everything I thought I knew was just a lie” she sobs.
I get up off the floor, go and stand behind her. I want to reach out – hug her, but I feel my touch will be unwanted. “Nothing has changed...”
She spins round, tears streaming down her cheeks and her face like thunder. “You've changed, Ayden. I keep trying to push it from my mind, but you’re not that moody boy I thought I was falling for.” She lets out a deep breath and brushes the tears away from her face. “I broke up with Chase as I wanted to be with you. How stupid was I?”
It takes me a second to take in her words. She was falling for me? That I didn't see coming, I thought she always saw me as a friend. I thought I was pushing my lucky with touching and kissing her. I never thought for a single minute she felt the same as me. I can feel myself smiling and move closer towards her.
She holds her hands up and pushes against my chest. “Ayden,” she softly speaks, her saying my name sends heat through my body.
“Just listen” I hiss, gripping both her wrists and pulling her arms away. “I like you too, Jen. I have already confessed that. I haven't changed and I am fed up with repeating myself.”
“But...”
“Shh” I move closer towards her and she takes a step back, now trapped between me and railings. My hand rest on either side of her body and I take in her scent. I look deep into her eyes and lower my head down, our lips only a centimetre apart.
“May I?” I whisper, she slowly nods and then I kiss her. Slow and soft at first, she opens her mouth and my tongue dips inside against hers. Her hands move up my chest and lock around my neck. In that moment I am alive with desire, I wrap my arms around her waist and press her body up against mine. The kiss deepens and I crave her more that anything in my whole life. As the thought crosses my mind, I know I have to back away from her. I pull away from her, panting and heart thumping against my chest.
I have never kissed anyone like that in my life. I have never felt like this from one kiss. I look at her swollen lips, moist and she brings her hand up to touch them. Are hers tingling like mine? I think I am addicted to her. What have I done? Why have allowed my body to rule my head?
I stand up straight, smooth back my hair and then place my hands in my pockets. I have to do something to restrain myself from grabbing hold of her again. The music inside has got louder and its then I remember the flat is full of people. Maybe it would be safer inside around others, as I can't trust myself being alone with her.
“We should head back inside” I mumble, still staring at the door.
“You’re doing it again!” She yells behind him, still I don't turn to look at her. “Fine!” She storms past me and inside. I want to run after her and confess all my doubts and concerns. I just can't do that, that's not me and I find it easier to shut down.
I'll give her a while and she should calm down. I’ll let her think I’m an inconsiderate bastard for now. It might help put some distance between us. After all we aren't here on holiday. I'm here to do a job, a job I take pride in and a job which will secure my future.
I restore myself and enter the party that is in full swing. People are dancing, laughing and drinking too much. I look round the room and there is no sign of Jen. She has probably gone off to bed. I need to catch up with a few friends anyway. Space right now is good.
Half an hour later I am standing with a few friends when I hear yelling. It instantly captures my attention to the other side of the room. There is a roar of cheer and people start clapping. I make my way through the crowd and spot Jen.
She is standing on top of a table, arms in the air and swaying her hips. She looks flushed and intoxicated as her legs look unstable. Someone has given her alcohol. I am going to kill that person. It’s when she reaches to undo her shirt buttons that my protective side takes action.
“Jennifer!” I yell over the music, she looks at me, laughs and carries on. “Get down off there now!”
“No” She yells back and carries on dancing. Everyone is still watching and cheering her on.
“Get off that damn table or I swear I will…”
She stops dancing, looks at me and places her hands on her hips. “You’ll do what?” She raises an eyebrow. She is trying to provoke me. She reaches inside her pocket and pulls out her phone. “Here you go. Ring my Mom and tell her what I’m doing.” She throws the phone in my direction. “Knock yourself out!” Her words are slurred and she begins to dance again.
The phone lands at my feet, now she has really pissed me off. I push the person in front of me, grab hold of her legs and fling her over my shoulder. She starts punch my back with her fists and I lead her towards her room. Everyone groans in disappointment, like I care. They shouldn’t take pleasure in her drunken state. If they want to see that, go to a strip club or something.
I kick the bed room door open and then slam it shut with my foot. I finally place her on her feet, her legs almost buckle and I catch her by the elbow. I am really angry at her. I can’t believe she would disrespect herself like this.
“Go to bed, Jen” it’s all I can say, as I know once I start I won’t stop.
“You are not my father!” she spits, her little face is all screwed up and her hands are still in fists. “I was having fun, something I never get to do and you have to come along and spoil it.”
“FUN?” I yell. “Stripping on a table, is that your idea of fun? I see it as cheap and
sluttish. You are not one of those girls. Now get into bed and sleep it off.”
I don’t want to get into this argument. I turn on my heel and leave the room. The party has now finished and it’s only Tucker alone on the sofa. He looks up at me and head gestures for me to join him. Its then I notice a bottle of whiskey and two glasses on the coffee table. I slump down in my seat and let out a little groan.
“Who gave her the alcohol?” are the first words to leave my lips.
“No one” Tucker replies, as he fills two glasses. “There was a tray of shots and she downed three, one after the other.”
He hands me a drink and I down it without thinking. The cool liquid burns my throat as it goes down, making me remember that I hate alcohol. It is a deadly drug, which one can get addicted to without thinking. I slam my glass down, lean forward and bury my head in my hands. What have I gotten myself into?
I must have been the reason she behaved that way tonight. She has been through so much the last couple of days and I have made everything worse.
I just can’t help myself when I am in her presence. I tried really hard to make her hate me. Each time she just kept coming back and that night when I saw her drenched in the rain. I let out a deep breath. No other woman has made me feel this way before.
“I know this is none of my business” Tucker’s voice stops my thoughts in their tracks. “I just have this weird feeling there is something more going on.”
I lift my head and smile in his direction. Guess he isn’t as stupid as I thought he was. I know I can
Confide in him as we’re in the same profession. I sit back on the sofa and wait a moment before I can confess all.
“She’s a client” I begin. “We have come to Seattle to search out her father.”
“She isn’t your girlfriend?” I shake my head. “But you two are very close and she is obviously smitten with you.”
“I know” I cry out, running my fingers through my hair. “And I have been encouraging her. I have acted very unprofessionally and crossed the line.”
“Then again” I watch as a smile hits his lips. “You’re just as smitten with her as well.” He gives a little laugh and downs the rest of his drink. “I’ve never seen you react that way before. You just swooped in there like a knight in shining armour.” I laugh at his remark. “Anyway” he pats my shoulder and stands up. “I need to sleep. I have a long shift at work tomorrow.” He begins to walk away, then turns and looks at me. “Don’t be too hard on her.” He heads to his bedroom, leaving me alone.
I pull my shirt over head and throw it down to the floor. I grab the cushions, resting them against the arm of the sofa. I lay down, grabbing the throw over and placing it over me. I close my eyes and wait for sleep to invade my body. What’s the point? My mind is still resisting any attempt of drifting off.
I no longer know what to do? Should I give up and hand the case over to someone else?
No that I can’t do. I am committed to this job and I never give up on anything. I hear foot steps coming down the hall. No doubt it’s Tucker, wanting another heart to heart. I haven’t got the energy left in me. Tomorrow is going to be a long day, finding her father is going to take a lot of work.
“Ayden,” whispers a voice. I feel her approach the sofa, I tilt my head up and she is stood beside me, wearing nothing but a t-shirt of mine. “I’m sorry” she mumbles.
What ever self discipline I thought I had goes out the window. I grab her hand and pull her down, so the length of her body is lying on top of mine. My arm wraps around her and I bury my head in the crook of her neck. I feel her tears against my chest and I hug her tighter.
“I shouldn’t have done what I did” she sobs. “I just wanted to forget for a little bit. I’m worried about seeing my dad and I am worried about you.”
“Me?” I say softly into her hair. “Don’t worry about me.”
“You were really angry at me. I know what I did was stupid and childish. I just enjoyed being free for the first time. I didn’t have to think about mum, Lacey or my father.” She lets out a dragging breath and swallows back her tears. “Do you hate me?”
“Impossible. I could never hate you. Let’s get some sleep. We have a lot of searching to start tomorrow.”
“Okay” she whispers. “Are we okay?”
I brush my lips against her forehead. “Yes, we are more than okay. Close your eyes.” And that’s how I slept all night. Jen in my arms and funnily enough it was the best sleep I think I’ve had in a long while.