“According to Silas, this is my fault; he said I crossed a line – tried to save Britain, then Draven. That because of what I did, I’ll eventually end them, that all I did was make this worse.”
My mother reached for my hand. “Is it easy for you to conceive the idea of another life – this other realm? Seeing, moving your soul from one place to another with a simple thought?”
“I’m standing here, aren’t I?” I said with more sarcasm than was needed.
She smiled slightly as she let out a breath. “Then I did not hinder you by keeping you in the dark; I let you find a way to understand the unbelievable on your own.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you could see before? That dad was dark? Why didn’t you tell me so I’d know that I’d have to fight to keep Draven? Tell me how to save him...is...is...is his fate what dad’s was?” I asked as grief came over every part of me.
Both of them stood quickly and pulled me to them. “No, no,” my mother said over and over as she squeezed me tighter. I pushed away; I couldn’t look at either of them, especially my father.
“Listen to me, Charlie,” my mother said. “What happened to your father was nothing more than an accident. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time. If that bus was parked, it wouldn’t have mattered if he’d thrown that chair; he’d already made a choice to rise from the depths before he met me. When he did find me, that choice was amplified. He knew that fighting his demons – the pain – was worth it, even if it meant he would stay in this world. You don’t have to stay here.”
“I don’t understand. Why is living here bad? I want him to live here.”
My father reached his arms around me and rocked me back and forth as the gentle sound of a guitar came to life.
“This world is a prison for those like your dad, for those like us, only because it traps us here – because it forces us to live in a materialistic reality....we are blinded from the energy, the beauty all around us....life is not meant to be defined in reality....it’s meant to be felt, absorbed with every action.”
“What are you saying – that Draven wants to live in that realm?” I asked, slightly pulling away from my dad.
“I’m saying that that realm is addicting; it can be whatever you want, at any moment. All you need is energy, and the dammed souls freely give up their energy to create it. Your dad had turned away from that power. He had to commit to living this life, this reality, and to fight the nightmares - just to be with me. He wanted to set free the power that was flowing into him....he wanted to see and feel the energy in this reality....to show others how to see....how to break free from the restrains of the world. His music allowed his fans to feel emotions that were to dark to face, when they felt them they realized they were not alone, and they were able to move forward with life - even see it differently.”
“You mean redeem the shadows....the ones that we will become if we do not find the peace that is inside of us. That’s what dad did with his music...” I mumbled seeing how I’d already chosen his path without even knowing it, that Draven had....my only fear now was, if we had reached the point my father had in his life...what was next....what war would we fight?
My mother nodded. “He had already made that commitment long before I met him. He made that promise the first time he began to play, when he began to force the energy out of him and into a different source.”
I felt my father’s stare and locked eyes with him. In his silence, I heard a thousand words....he was telling me it could be done - that Draven could fight this.
“So there is hope for Draven. He’s not only helped lost souls before, but he plays. This world isn’t a prison to him; it’s all he knows,” I said, almost to myself.
“Not anymore,” my mother said quietly. “That realm is calling him, and his battle is going to be fierce. Your past is calling you…it’s time for you to bring balance to this world.”
“You really believe I lived before? That I made some choice that forced both me and Draven into this world? Into yours and Evan’s life?”
“It doesn’t matter what I believe; all that matters is what you believe,” she answered.
“Tell me how you helped dad, how I can help Draven in that realm. How can I help Britain and keep Silas at bay?”
Sadness filled her expression. “I don’t know.”
“Don’t hide anything from me,” I said coldly.
“I’m not, Charlie. I’ve never been there – I was too afraid. I still am. Your father and I were willing to remain here, to live a normal life - but you don’t have that choice.”
“Why not? You avoided it - why can’t I?”
“Your soul is much older and much stronger than mine or dads; you were born for the fate that’s chasing you.”
“You can’t help me?” I said as I looked between them. “Neither of you have any insight into what I can do to help them?”
Mom looked at dad, then to me. “The answers are all around you. You just have to ask. I do…I do have some advice.”
She looked down and leaned against her desk as she searched for words. My father moved to her side again and took her hand. I watched her smile slightly as her arm gently braced her stomach. “Before I even knew I was pregnant with you, I had dreams, very vivid dreams…I saw a dark prince - at least that’s what I called him because his flawless image was breathtaking and seethed with a raw power. I saw a beautiful girl….dark eyes, long dark hair…she was so bright, so mesmerizing that she stopped this dark prince in his tracks. As they gazed at each other, I felt indescribable love, an instant commitment to find balance – to find a way to bring their opposing worlds to peace…the dream was so beautiful that I would wake crying.”
My mother let go of my father’s hand and walked to the bookshelf that held countless photos of me growing up. She reached for a frame and stared at it for a few seconds before she turned it for me to see. It was a photo taken of me and Draven on the beach last summer. It was just as the sun was setting. In the frame, you could see the orange glow of the setting sun behind me and the rising full moon behind Draven. Our images were shadowed by the conflicting light of the day, but you could see his forehead against mine and his hand gently cradling my face. The photo, that innocent moment in forgotten memory, took my breath away.
“When I took this photo…when I saw this image…my dreams came flooding back to me,” my mother said as she choked back tears.
“I don’t understand,” I whispered.
Her eyes met mine. “Your entire life, you’ve made it an art to call the dammed back to a moment where they felt love – to a moment when they believed anything was possible…now you’re going to have to call yourself back to a moment when you felt the same.”
My eyes fell to the photo again as that day, that moment, played out in my memory. It was a beautiful day, but if I remembered clearly it was one of the countless stolen moments we had growing up. I didn’t feel anymore at peace by remembering it.
“Not this moment,” my mother said quietly. “You have to remember a forgotten moment, the moment he fell for you, the moment he fought his desire to end your light…the perfect balance the two of you found then…a perfect circle of both light and darkness – so balanced that he couldn’t pull you down. When that moment comes again, you must protect him from what he’s becoming once again. Find that peaceful, forgotten memory. Don’t think about what you left behind then or now; focus on that moment, and if you manage to feel half of what I felt by witnessing that unyielding love and commitment in that dream - then nothing will harm either of you.”
I nodded as I gazed at that photo and let my mother’s dream play out in my mind. The story behind her words was so numbing, it took my breath away. Part of me thought that her love for my dad and me had caused her to see that dream through a diluted perspective; that according to both Britain and Silas, Draven was my second attempt at finding a balance between what they were and the light that I was. Then there was another part of me, the part of me that c
raved the presence of Draven, that remembered how calming and addictive Silas was to me. That part of me told me it had to be love that pulled me away from the life I had then – from the love Silas had undeniably given me at one time. That part of me was the one I chose to listen to. I chose to listen to that part of me because I knew right now - without a doubt - that I’d make the same choice. I loved Draven…I loved his soul.
“Is it cliché to think that this is gonna happen on my birthday? That eighteen marks when my power or light will tempt both Draven and Britain – the moment I’ll have to defend them from Silas?”
“Only if you think so,” my mother said. “Truth is that your light has been powerful enough to do just that from your first breath; the only reason it seems to be brighter now is because you’re realizing it for the first time.”
I nodded again, understanding her simple wisdom. “I’m gonna try and find a way out of here before that happens. Draven has this concert planned; whether it goes as he hopes or not, I’m ready to go to Chara. If I’m a bright light - or whatever you call me - then those people must be, too. They believed solely in love...they can help me protect him.”
My father smiled with pride in his dark eyes as my mom looked from him to me. “Just don’t think that world is an ending for you....it will be a beginning to what you’re really fighting.”
“I just need help,” I mumbled.
My mother stepped forward and reached her arms around me. As she squeezed me tight, she said, “Now you can go without fear of saying goodbye to me. You’ve learned to move your soul to where your mind wishes to take it…you can come to me at any moment.”
I squeezed her back. “If I knew that before – I’d already be gone.”
She extended her arms and looked into my eyes once again. “You wouldn’t have believed me if I told you a few months ago; you had to learn on your own - just like with everything else.”
I smiled shyly, hating that she was right – that she was right to keep me in the dark all these years. “I gotta go; I gotta find Austin.”
She nodded as she let me go. My father smiled at me. I held his gaze as I thought of my room, where I knew my body was sitting. Instantly, I was there again – staring at my father. The thousands of tiny rocks were still across the floor. He broke my stare, and I watched as the pile of rocks began to move and spell out another message for me.
Chapter Fourteen
As the small rocks magically moved along the hard wood floor, I knew a simple message from my father was about to be shown to me. The first word the rocks outlined was ‘ the’, then they shaped the word ‘answers’, then to ‘are all’. I already knew what the next word would be, but I watched patiently as he spelled out the words ‘ around you’.
I nodded once, then the rocks slowly began to rise. The sound of my father’s guitar changed; it changed to the song I’d been working on. Mesmerized by the rocks, I almost didn’t notice that the sound began grow stronger – more demanding. A beat, drums, were laced through the sound of the guitar, one that was in rhythm with the beat of my heart – fast and out of control. The rocks parted into two sections, then the ones on the top fell to the bottom as the ones on the bottom half-rose to meet them. The drums began to beat so violently, I felt the vibration in my soul…I focused on every beat as what was once a fleeting idea was shaped into a song.
Once the rocks were one again, they began to glow brightly in my dim room, then they circled in place – a perfect circle. I felt heat on my skin as I reached for the rock on my bracelet, then my eyes fell into my father’s. The glow of these rocks had changed him; he looked real – I mean, really real. His eyes were glowing, and peace was emanating from his soul. In that instant, all the tiny rocks came together as one and the lamp was restored, sitting perfectly on my side table.
“WOW! Now that was weird,” I heard Madison say. I broke my gaze with my dad to see her standing in the doorway with wide eyes.
I quickly looked back at my father, who winked at me before he faded away.
“What was that?” Madison asked as she stepped into the room.
“An answer,” I said quietly as I sat on the edge of my bed, desperately trying to hold on to the memory of those drums – the backbone of my song.
“To what?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled as I looked at her. She had showered and was ready for whatever we were going to do today. She was wearing dark jeans like mine, with layered, tight shirts that reflected her small frame. Her dark green hoodie seemed to amplify her eyes even more.
“How did the phone call with your mom go? Or has that happened yet?” she asked as she came to my side.
“It happened. Not a call – face to face, a family meeting,” I said as my thoughts raced through everything my mother had said – what my father had shown me. My phone beeped loudly, and I looked to my nightstand to see that it was now fully charged.
“Face to face - like you went through your memories to where she was? By yourself?!” Madison asked, clearly alarmed.
“Yeah,” I said as I reached for my phone. “It really isn’t hard. It was just like really being there.”
“It scares me,” Madison said. “I mean, I’m worried I’ll get stuck somewhere or something.”
I turned my bracelet on my wrist before I scrolled through the missed calls and texts my adventure had caused yesterday. “Get a charm or something that will help you focus on home,” I mumbled as words began to circle in my mind. I felt lyrics coming to life so fast and so fierce, they were taking over my thoughts.
“You sound like Aden,” she said shortly, clearly not agreeing that any kind of charm would bring you safely back to the world we lived in.
Aden…I needed Aden to create that beat. My finger scrolled to his name, and I hesitated before texting him. I knew if I called him right now, we’d spend all day working on it, and I didn’t have time for that. I had to find Austin – find a way out of here. I closed my eyes as my hand silently moved to the sound I heard in my memories. I knew I could remember it for a few more hours – and show him later.
I scrolled through to find Draven’s name. Ignoring the heartbreaking pleas he had texted last night, the ones begging me to tell him where I was, I opened the text box and typed: ‘A devil risen an angel fallen this world will not be our prison our fate is calling’. I read the words over and over, then handed the phone to Madison. “Does this sound bad? I mean, those are lyrics I just thought of for the song we’re working on, but I don’t want him to take it the wrong way.”
Curiously she took my phone and read the words a few times. “That’s fierce, but not in a bad way. It reminds me of you two.”
“Right, but he isn’t too fond of the dark side in him. I don’t wanna make it worse or make him mad.”
“Look, Charlie, you know him better than anyone else. This sounds perfect to me. If I was a dark shadow, I’d come when I heard that…it would tell me that anything beautiful is possible – even for a darkness like me.”
I took my phone back and read the words once more before I hit ‘Send’. I followed the text with another that said: ‘that just came to me – well dad helped me come up with that you don’t have to use it.’
Madison was watching what I was texting, and once I hit send she asked, “Was that what that rock display was all about?”
“I’m sure there’s more to what he meant by that, but at least it helped me come up with those lyrics.”
Her eyes moved across my confused expression. I instantly felt guilty for sending that to him – what if he took it the wrong way?
“You want to talk about where you ran off to yesterday?” she asked.
I looked at her. “Do you wanna talk about your dreams with Britain and that other guy?”
“I told you I would when I understood them.”
“Well, I’ll tell you about who I met yesterday when I understand him.”
“Who?” she repeated.
Before I could answe
r her, my phone vibrated. I looked down to see Draven’s response. ‘Perfect – love you.’
A relieved smile came across my face.
“Charlie – who did you meet yesterday?” Madison asked impatiently.
“It doesn’t matter. We’re leaving, remember?” I said as my confidence grew.
“If you’re serious about leaving, I’m getting that tattoo before we do anything today.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Seriously?!”
“Yeah, seriously. I think you should get it, too,” she said as she raised her eyebrows.
“What? Are you crazy? I’m not even old enough – at least not for a few days.”
“Kara will sign for you. I already asked her.”
“You convinced Kara to sign for me to get a tattoo?”
“It wasn’t hard once I told her about my dreams. She already cleared it with your mom. Ask if you don’t believe me.”
“You told Kara about your dreams, but you won’t tell me?”
“I told her about my nightmares – not the other dreams.”
“Then tell me. You can’t just walk up to someone and say, ‘Get this tattoo’ and not say why. That’s, like, completely permanent; not something you decide to do in an instant.”
“I didn’t decide in an instant; I’ve been thinking about it for months. I even had the artist draw out the tattoo I wanted – met him, the whole nine yards.”
“Fine. You’ve had months, and I’ve had like a day - and I still don’t know what nightmare is causing you to permanently mark your body.”
“OK, fine,” she said as she stood and began to pace. “Imagine this: a dark room, a pool of water that reflects the stars in the center of it. Even though we’re inside, the weather is fierce – wind, lightning, thunder – and there are other girls there, ones that kinda look like me. Bianca is there, and she’s changing form over and over again – racing across the room, doing everything in her power to infuriate the girl who’s causing the fierce weather, showing her unthinkable images – and that girl is aiming at Bianca and her illusions. The only thing keeping her from killing either of us is that mark – because she knows that because we have that mark, we aren’t Bianca – we’re on her side.”