CHAPTER XVII.
The Clients of Aaron Green.
"And so there were no lawyers in Wolfville?" I said. The Old Cattlemanfilled his everlasting pipe, lighted it, and puffed experimentally.There was a handful of wordless moments devoted to pipe. Then, as onesatisfied of a smoky success, he turned attention to me and my remark.
"Lawyers in Wolfville?" he repeated. "Not in my day; none whatever!It's mighty likely though that some of 'em's done come knockin' alongby now. Them jurists is a heap persistent, not to say diffoosive, an'soon or late they shore trails into every camp. Which we'd have had'em among us long ago, but nacherally, an' as far as argyments goes, weturns 'em off. Se'f-preservation is a law of nacher, an' these maximsapplies to commoonities as much as ever they does to gents personal.Wherefore, whenever we notices a law wolf scoutin' about an' tryin' toget the wind on us, we employs our talents for lyin', fills him up withfallacies, an' teaches him that to come to Wolfville is to put down hisdestinies on a dead kyard; an' he tharupon abandons whatever of planshe's harbourin' ag'in us, seein' nothin' tharin.
"It's jest before I leaves for the East when one of these coyotescrosses up with Old Man Enright in Tucson, an' submits the idee of hisprofessional invasion of our camp.
"'Which I'm in the Oriental at the time,' says Enright, when he relatesabout his adventure, 'an' this maverick goes to jumpin' sideways at mein a friendly mood. Bein' I'm a easy-mannered sport with strangers, hehas no trouble gettin' acquainted. At last he allows that he aims topitch his teepee in Wolfville, hang out a shingle, an' plunge intojoorisprudence. "I was thinkin'," says he, "of openin' a joint for thepractice of law. As a condition prior advised by the barkeep, an' onewhich also recommends itse'f to me as dictated of the commonestproodence, I figgers on gainin' your views of these steps."
"'"You does well," I replies, "to consult me on them p'ints. I seesyou're shore a jo-darter of a lawyer; for you handles the language likea muleskinner does a blacksnake whip. But jest the same, don't for onemoment think of breakin' in on Wolfville. That outfit don't practicelaw none; she practices facts. It offers no openin' for your game.Comin' to Wolfville onder any conditions is ever a movement of gravity,an onless a gent is out to chase cattle or dandle kyards or proposes toarray himse'f in the ranks of commerce by foundin' a s'loon, Wolfvillewould not guarantee his footure any positive reward."
"'"Then I jest won't come a whole lot," says this law sharp. Whereuponwe engages in mootual drinks an' disperses to our destinies.'
"'What you tells this sport,' says Texas Thompson, who's listenin' toEnright, 'echoes my sentiments exact. Anything to keep out law! Itain't alone the jedgments for divorce which my wife grabs off over inLaredo, but it comes to me as the frootes of a experience which hasbeen as wide as it has been plenty soon, that law is only another wordfor trouble in egreegious forms.'
"'So I decides,' retorts Enright. 'Still, I'm proud to be endorsed byas good a jedge of public disorder an' its preventives as TexasThompson. Sech approvals ever tends to stiffen a gent's play. As Istates, I reeverses this practitioner an' heads him t'other way.Wolfville is the home of friendly confidence; the throne of yoonity an'fraternal peace. It must not be jeopardised. We-all don't want toincur no resks by abandonin' ourse'fs to real shore-enough law. Itwould debauch us: we'd get plumb locoed an' take to racin' wild an'cimarron up an' down the range, an' no gent could foresee results.It's better than even money, that with the advent of a law sharp intoour midst, historians of this hamlet would begin their last chapter.They would head her: "Wolfville's Last Days."
"'It's twenty years ago,' goes on Enright, 'while I'm that season inTexas, that a sharp packs his blankets into Yellow City an' puts it uphe'll practice some law. No; he ain't wanted, but he never does giveno gent a chance to say so. He comes trackin' in onannounced, an' thefirst we-all saveys, thar's his sign a-swingin', an' ashoorin' thesports of Yellow City of the presence of
AARON GREEN, ESQ. ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
"'Nobody gets excited; for while we agrees to prevail on him ultimatelyto shift his camp a heap, the sityooation don't call for nothin'preecipitate. In fact, the idee of him or any other besotted personturnin' loose that a-way in Yellow City, strikes us as loodicrous.Thar's nothing for a law-gent to do. I've met up with a heap of campsin my day; an' I've witnessed the work of many a vig'lance committee;but I'm yere to state that for painstakin' ardour an' a energy thatnever sleeps, the Stranglers of Yellow City is a even break with thebest. They uses up a bale of half-inch rope a year; an' as for law an'order an' a scene of fragrant peace, that outfit is comparable onlywith flower gyardens on a quiet hazy August afternoon.
"'This Aaron Green who prounces thus on Yellow City, intendin' tofoment litigations an' go ropin' 'round for fees, is plenty young; buthe's that grave an' dignified that owls is hilarious to him. One afterthe other, he tackles us in a severe onmitigated way, an' shoves hisprofessional kyard onto each an' tells him that whenever he feelsill-used to come a-runnin' an' have his rights preserved. Shore! theboys meets this law person half way. They drinks with him an' fillshim up with licker an' fictions alternate, an' altogether regyards himas a mighty yoomerous prop'sition.
"'Also, observin' how tender he is, an' him takin' in their variouslies like texts of holy writ, they names him "Easy Aaron." Which hedon't look on "Easy Aaron" none too well as a title, an' insists onbein' called "Jedge Green" or even "Squar' Green." But Yellow Citywon't have it; she sticks to "Easy Aaron"; an' as callin' down theentire camp offers prospects full of fever an' oncertainty, he at lastpasses up the insult an' while he stays among us, pays no further heed.
"'Doorin' the weeks he harbours with us, a gen'ral taste deevelops tohear this Easy Aaron's eloquence. Thar's a delegation waits on him an'requests Easy Aaron to come forth an' make a speech. We su'gests thathe can yootilise the Burnt Boot Saloon as a auditorium, an' offers as asubject "Texas: her Glorious Past, her Glitterin' Present, an' herTranscendent Footure!"
"'"Thar's a topic!" says Shoestring Griffith to Easy Aaron--Shoestringis the cha'rman of the committee,--"thar's a burnin' topic for you!An' if you-all will only come surgin' over to the Burnt Boot right nowwhile you're warm for the event, I offers two to one you makes Cicerolook like seven cents."
"'But Easy Aaron waves 'em arrogantly away. He declines to go barkin'at a knot. He says it'll be soon enough to onbuckle an' swamp YellowCity with a flood of eloquence when proper legal o'casion enfolds.
"'In the room to the r'ar of the apartments where this Easy Aaron holdsforth as a practitioner, thar's a farobank as is nacheral enough. It'sabout second drink time in the afternoon, bein' a time of day when thefaro game is dead. A passel of conspirators, with Shoestring Griffithin the lead, goes to this room an' reelaxes into a game of draw. EasyAaron can hear the flutter of the chips through the partition--the samebein' plenty thin--where he's camped like a spider in its web an'waitin' for some sport who needs law to show up. Easy Aaron listenscareless an' indifferent to Shoestring an' his fellow blacklaigs asthey deals an' antes an' raises an' rakes in pots, an' everybody mightyjoobilant as is frequent over poker.
"'Of a suddent, roars an' yells an' reecriminations yoosurps the placeof merriment. Then the guns! An' half the lead comes spittin' an'splittin' through that intervenin' partition like she's kyardboard.The bullets flies high enough to miss Easy Aaron, but low enough toinvoke a gloomy frame of mind.
"'This yere artillery practice don't continyoo long before Yellow Citydescends on Shoestring an' his band of homicides; an' when they've got'em sorted out, thar's Billy Goodnight too defunct to skin, an'Shoestring Griffith does it.
"'Thar's no time lost; the Stranglers convenes in the Burnt Boot, an'exact jestice stands on expectant tiptoe for its prey. But Shoestringraises objections.
"'"Which before ever you-all reptiles takes my innocent life," saysShoestring, "I wants a lawyer. I swings off in style or I don't swing.You hear me! send across for Easy Aaron. You can gamble, I'm going tointerpose a d
efense."
"'"That's but right," says Waco Anderson who's the chief of theStranglers. "Assembled as we be to revenge the ontimely pluggin' ofthe late Billy Goodnight, still this Shoestring may demand a even deal.If some gent will ramble over an' round up Easy Aaron, as Shoestringdesires, it will be regyarded by the committee, an' this lynchin' canthen proceed."
"'Easy Aaron is onearthed from onder his desk where he's still quiledup, pale an' pantin', by virchoo of the bullets. Jim Wise, who goesfor him, explains that the shower is over; an' also that he's inenormous demand to save Shoestring for beefin' Billy Goodnight. Atthis, Easy Aaron gets up an' coughs 'round for a moment or two,recoverin' his nerve; then he buttons his surtoot, assoomes airs ofsagacity, tucks the Texas Statootes onder his arm, reepairs to theBurnt Boot an' allows he's ready to defend Shoestring from said charges.
"'"But not onless my fees is paid in advance," says this Easy Aaron.
"'At that, we-all passes the hat an' each chucks in a white chip ortwo, an' when Waco Anderson counts up results it shows wellnigheighty-five dollars. Easy Aaron shakes his head like it's mightysmall; but he takes it an' casts himse'f loose. An', gents, he's shoreverbose! He pelts an' pounds that committee with a hailstorm ofobservations, ontil all they can do is set thar an' wag their y'earsan' bat their eyes. Waco Anderson himse'f allows, when discussin' saidoration later, that he ain't beheld nothin' so muddy an' so much sincethe last big flood on the Brazos.
"'After Easy Aaron holds forth for two hours, Waco preevails on himwith a six-shooter to pause for breath. Waco's tried twenty times toget Easy Aaron to stop long enough to let the Stranglers get down averbal bet, but that advocate declines to be restrained. He treatsWaco's efforts with scorn an' rides him down like he, Easy Aaron, is abunch of cattle on a stampede. Thar's no headin' or holdin' him ontilWaco, in desperation, takes to tyrannisin' at him with his gun.
"'"It's this," says Waco, when Easy Aaron's subdooed. "If the eminentgent will quit howlin' right yere an' never another yelp, the committeeis willin' to throw this villain Shoestring loose. Every one of us isa slave to dooty, but we pauses before personal deestruction in a awfulform. Billy Goodnight is gone; ondoubted his murderer should win thedoom meted out for sech atrocities; but dooty or no dooty, thiscommittee ain't called on to be talked to death in its discharge.Yellow City makes no sech demands of its servants; wherefore, Irepeats, that if this Easy Aaron sits mute where he is, we agrees tocut Shoestring's bonds an' restore him to that freedom whereof he makessech florid use."
"'At this, Easy Aaron stands up, puffs out his chest, bows to Waco an'the others, an' evolves 'em a patronisin' gesture signifyin' that theirbluff is called. Shoestring Griffith is saved.
"'Doorin' the subsequent line-up at the bar which concloods theceremonies, Easy Aaron waxes indignant an' is harrowed to observe BillyGoodnight imbibin' with the rest.
"'"I thought you-all dead!" says Easy Aaron, in tones of wrathfulreproach.
"'"Which I was dead," says Billy, sort o' apol'getic, "but them wordsof fire brings me to."
"'Easy Aaron don't make no answer, but as he jingles the fee the sourlook relaxes.
"'As I remarks, Easy Aaron ain't with us over long. Yellow City isthat much worse off than Wolfville that she has a little old 'dobycalaboose that's been built since the old Mexico days. Thar's noshore-enough jedge an' jury ever comes to Yellow City; an' if thekyards was so run that we has a captive which the Stranglers deemsbeneath 'em, he would be drug 'way over yonder to some county seat.It's but fair to say that no sech contretemps presents itse'f up to theadvent of Easy Aaron; an' while thar's now an' then a smallaccoomulation of felons doorin' sech seasons as the boys is off on theranges or busy with the roundups, thar never fails to come a clean-upin plenty of time. The Stranglers comes back; jestice resoomes hersway, an' the calaboose is ag'in as empty as a church.
"'It befalls, however, that doorin' the four or five weeks to followthe acquittal of that homicide Shoestring, an' while Waco Anderson an'a quorum of the committee is away teeterin' about in their own affairs,the calaboose gets filled up with two white men and either four or fiveMexicans--I can't say the last for shore, as I ain't got a good mem'ryfor Mexicans. These parties is held for divers malefactions fromshootin' up a Greaser dance-hall to stealin' a cow over on theHoneymoon.
"'To his joy, Easy Aaron is reetained to defend this crim'nal herd.It's shore pleasant to watch him! I never sees the sport who's thatproudly content. Easy Aaron visits these yere clients of his everyday; an' when he has time, he walks out onto the plains so far thatyou-all can't hear his tones, an' rehearses the speeches he's aimin' tomake when he gets them cut-throats before a jury. We-all could see himprancin' up an' down, tossin' his hands an' all in the most locoed way.As I states, he's too far off to be heard none; but he's in plain viewfrom the front windows of the Burnt Boot, an' we-all finds them anticsplumb divertin.'
"'"These cases," says Easy Aaron to me, for he's that happy an'enthoosiastic he's got to open up on some gent; "these cases is boundto fix my fame as the modern Demosthenes. You knows how eloquent I amabout Shoestring? That won't be a marker to the oration I'll frame upfor these miscreants in the calaboose. For why? Shoestring's time Iain't organised; also, I'm more or less shook by the late bulletsbuzzin' an' hummin' like a passel of bloo-bottle flies about my office.But now will be different. I'll be ready, an' I'll be in a coolfrenzy, the same bein' a mood which is excellent, partic'lar if a gentis out to break records for rhetoric. I shore regyards themmalefactors as so many rungs for my clamberin' up the ladder of fame."An' with that this Easy Aaron goes pirootin' forth upon the plainsag'in to resoome his talking at a mark.
"'It's mebby a week after this exultation of Easy Aaron's, an' WacoAnderson an' the others is in from the ranges. Yellow City is onusualvivacious an' lively. You-all may jedge of the happy prosperity oflocal feelin' when I assoores you that the average changed in atfarobank each evenin' ain't less than twenty thousand dollars. As forEasy Aaron, he's goin' about in clouds of personal an' speshul delight.It's now crowdin' along towards the time when him an' his clients willadjourn over to that county seat an' give Easy Aaron the opportoonityto write his name on the deathless calendars of fame.
"'But black disapp'intment gets Easy Aaron squar' in the door. Onemorning he reepairs to the calaboose to consult with the felons onwhose interests he's ridin' herd. Horror seizes him; he finds thecells as vacant as a echo.
"'"Where's these clients?" asks Easy Aaron, while his face grows white.
"'"Vamosed!" says the Mexican who carries the calaboose keys; an' withthat he turns in mighty composed, to roll a cigarette.
"'"Vamoosed, where at?" pursoos Easy Aaron.
"'"_Por el inferno_!" says the Mexican; he's got his cigarette lighted,an' is puffin' as contented as hoss-thieves. "See thar, _Amigo_!" goeson the Greaser, indicatin' down the street.
"'Easy Aaron gazes where the Mexican p'ints, an' his heart turns towater. Thar swayin' an' swingin' like tassels in the mornin' breeze,an' each as dead as Gen'ral Taylor, he beholds his entire dockethangin' to the windmill. Easy Aaron approaches an' counts 'em up.Which they're all thar! The Stranglers shorely makes a house cleanin'.As Easy Aaron looks upon them late clients, he wrings his hands.
"'"Thar hangs fame!" says Easy Aaron; "thar hangs my chance ofeminence! That eloquence, wherewith my heart is freighted, an' whichwould have else declar'd me the Erskine of the Brazos, is lynched withmy clients." Then wheelin' on Waco Anderson who strolls over, EasyAaron demands plenty f'rocious: "Whoever does this dastard deed?"
"'"Which this agitated sport," observes Waco coldly to ShoestringGriffith, who comes loungin' up likewise, "asks whoever does these yeredastard deeds! Does you-all recall the fate, Shoestring, of the lastmisguided shorthorn who gives way to sech a query? My mem'ry is neverackerate as to trifles, an' I'm confoosed about whether he's shot orhung or simply burned alive."
"'"That prairie dog is hanged a lot," says Shoestring. "Which the boyswas goi
n' to burn him, but on its appearin' that he puts the questionmore in ignorance than malice, they softens on second thought to thatdegree they merely gets a rope, adds him to the windmill with theothers, an' lets the matter drop."
"'Easy Aaron don't crowd his explorations further. He can see thar'swhat you-all might call a substratum of seriousness to the observationsof Waco an' Shoestring, an' his efforts to solve the mystery thatdisposes of every law case he has, an' leaves him to begin life anew,comes to a halt!
"'But it lets pore Easy Aaron out. He borrys a hoss from the corral,packs the Texas Statootes an' his extra shirt in the war-bags, an' withthat the only real law wolf who ever makes his lair in Yellow City,p'ints sadly no'thward an' is seen no more. As he's about to rideaway, Easy Aaron turns to me. He's sort o' got the notion I ain't sobad as Waco, Shoestring, an' the rest. "I shall never return," saysEasy Aaron, an' he shakes his head plenty disconsolate. "Genius has noshow in Yellow City. This outfit hangs a gent's clients as fast asever he's retained an' offers no indoocements--opens no opportoonities,to a ambitious barrister."'"