Chapter Thirteen
Zenobia
We’re getting close now. I feel like I’m gonna’ throw up…my nerves…Whew, Lord!
Okay, here we go. I hope I can do this… I have to do this…
“Here we are ma’am. That will be $34.75.”
“Here you are, sir…and thanks.”
Maybe he’s not home… probably out getting high…we’ll see soon enough.
I feel like I need to sneak into my own place. Okay Zee, get it together. Remember, you have to make him believe everything is okay. That’s the only way this will work.
“Bay, I’m home…Percy?”
“Oh, so you finally decided to come back, huh?” Percy made his way around the corner from near the bedroom.
“Yeah, I’m home. Where else would I go?”
“How the hell you get here? That bitch upstairs?”
“No, why would you say that?”Oh lord…
“Naw I seen that bitch down at the hospital when I came to see about you. I knew she had something to do with you being there in the first place. What you tell them people about me? You know I don’t like that shit, Zee. What goes on up in this motherfuckin’ camp is our business and I don’t want that nosey trick from upstairs all up in it. So how the hell you get home? They just let you leave out like that?”
“No, the doctor sent me home in a cab. I had to promise that as soon as I got home I would call. That was the only way I was gone get here since they wouldn’t let you come back to get me.”
“Yeah, cause of that bitch upstairs…”
“Percy, she’s good people. She just helped me out cause you wasn’t here…that’s all. I was in a bad way when you left. You don’t remember?”
“What the fuck you mean? See, you come home with that bullshit already. Need to leave that alone for real.”
“I see you left everything like it was?”
“Zee, don’t start no shit. That smart ass mouth is what got you fucked up in the first place. It’s tore up like this cause of you. What was I supposed to do? Clean up after yo ass? Naw, it ain’t like that.”
Keep it together Zee…play nice…
“I know, babe. Aren’t you glad to see me? I know things were kinda’ rough when I left, but I’m home now. Come here…give me a hug or something…let me know you missed me, too.”
“Oh, you gonna’ make me do all the work huh? Come here. Can we start over? Make things like they used to be? I really want things to work, Percy. I love you.”
“Yeah, but you gotta’ stop pushing me Zee. You know how I am. We been together too long for you not to know what gets me heated. But you just keep pushing and pushing…and that whole baby thing…that’s pressure. I can barely make enough ends to take care of you and me and you want to spring a baby on me? Make me feel like less of a man for not being able to take care of my own? Why you want to put me in that type of situation?”
“Well, we don’t have to worry about that anymore. It’s just you and me now.”
“Whatcha' mean it’s just you and me?”
“Like I said, we don’t have to worry about that no more. Maybe when things are better we can try again.”
“Let me get settled in and I’ll straighten up and fix you something to eat, okay?”
“Yeah, that’s cool. I ain’t ate right since you left. But we gone have to talk about this whole baby thing some more. I need to know what them people down there did to you.”
“Percy can you do me a favor?”
“You just got home. You need something from me already?”
“Sorry babe, but the doctor gave me a prescription that I need to get filled. Can you take care of that for me? Please?”
“What you need a prescription for? You sick or something?”
“The doc gave it to me for the pain…with the baby and stuff.”
“Oh… damn…okay. I got a few ends so I’ll get it for you, but it bet’ not cost too much. I gotta’ make this money stretch. Things is getting tight and your brother ain’t been keeping me in the loop like he supposed to. I shouldn’t have to hunt his ass down to sling no dope for him. You need to call him and see what’s up with that, for real.”
“I’ll call the hospital and then call him just as soon as you run down to the drugstore for me, okay?” He don’t even know, he’s playing right into my hands. I’m calling my brother all right. You don’t have to worry about that one.
“I’m for real, Zee. I need him to get my weight up, so take care of that.”
“I gotcha', babe. No worries…”
Waiting for Percy to finally leave was like waiting for paint to dry. Oh my God! He kept piddling around and finding any and every reason to still be here. I felt like I couldn’t really breathe until he was gone. My stomach was turning just looking at him and having to fake like everything was cool. I wanted to cut his throat. How he gonna’ act like he didn’t have nothing to do with the reason I hadn’t been at home? The whole time I was hugging him and making nice in his face, I kept wishing I had a knife in my hand. I would have cut his sorry ass open. But it wasn’t quite time yet. I needed this thing to play out just right because cutting him would have given him a little pain and made him bleed, but running the risk of killing him off too quick made the thought less appealing. No, I wanted Percy to suffer for every black eye and busted lip he’d given me; for every kick I’d taken to every conceivable part of my body; for him laying his funky drunk ass on top of me and taking sex from me when I said no… for killing my baby…That son of a bitch was going to pay for it all and I was going to enjoy every minute of it.
Even if we got caught it would still be worth it to me. I don’t want Gina to risk it all to help me, so if the shit goes wrong, I am more than prepared to take full responsibility for killing the motherfucker that’s already killed so much of me. I don’t have anything else to lose. He’s taking the best parts of me. So if jail is the end result then I will happily go. Fuck it! I’m ready. Whatever happens happens…but I promise you - at the end of it - I will be the one standing. Best believe, I will be the one standing at the end…
Let me get these phone calls out the way; first the hospital then a quick check in with Gina. I definitely need to call my brother before Percy gets back. He is an intricate part of this plan. I need him to come through for me.
“Nurse Shannon, please.”
“Let me check and see if she’s on the floor. Hold, please...”
I hope she’s still there. She was so kind to me, even when she didn’t need to be. I appreciate her for that.
“I’m sorry ma’am. It looks like she is tied up at the moment.”
“Dang… can I leave her a message?”
“Sure.”
“She asked me to call her back when I got home. I just wanted to let her know that I made it home okay.”
“And who should I tell her is calling?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. This is Zenobia. She’ll remember me.”
“Okay Zenobia, I will make sure to give her the message.”
“Thank you so much.”
All right, one call down. Now let me see if I can catch Gina. Maybe she got the message I left.
“Hello.”
“Hey Gina it’s me.”
“Zee, damn girl, I got your message. I have been so worried. You okay?”
“Yeah, I guess…still in a little pain…I sent Percy to the store to get my prescription filled. Gina this is going to be much harder than I thought. Within five minutes of being here I thought of at least 10 ways to take his ass out.”
“Girl, I hear ya. I can think of another motherfucker whose ass needs to be taken out!”
“You sound a little pissed…what’s up?”
“Zee, you will never believe who had the sheer audacity to ring my damn phone?”
“Naw…”
“Yes! I don’t know how Mac got my number, but he was talking about he still lo
ved me and when can he come see me. Can you believe that shit?”
Gina had told me all about Mac when she was by my side at the hospital. The things he did to her…I knew all about that kind of man - just arrogant enough to think you can’t live without they stupid ass.
“Yeah, I can believe it. They are all alike, Gina…all of them. All they stupid asses need to be taken out for real.”
“I hear ya…trust me I hear ya.”
“I can’t talk long. Percy will be back any minute, but I wanted to let you know I was here. I’m getting ready to call my brother and line everything up.”
“Okay, cool…I know it’s hard, but be easy. You won’t have to deal with his ass much longer.”
“I hope so girl…I can’t take too much more of looking at him. I’ll talk to ya later.”
The gall of these damn men. I mean, who the fuck do they think they are? You can’t just treat people like dirt and think it’s cool. You can’t keep getting away with that shit over and over. What? We supposed to just keep taking it and never fight back? Naw, it’s time for this kind of bullshit to come to an end for real. I gotta’ make this next call quick. I hope he picks up. I for damn sure don’t want Percy walking in when I’m on the phone with my brother.
Come on…come on…pick up the phone!
“Tre'…”
“Nobi, is that you?”
“Yeah Tre’ it’s me.”
“What’s good? I ain’t heard from yo ass in a month of Sundays. You okay?”
“I’m okay, but I can’t talk long. I need some help.”
“Whatever it is you got it. You know ain’t nothing I got you can’t have.”
“I appreciate you bro, for real.”
“Wassup?”
“Percy said you ain’t been keeping his weight up.”
“Shit! That motherfucker! Hell naw I ain’t been giving him shit! He too damn busy smoking it up. I can’t make no money like that yo.”
“Listen, I need you to fix it for me…”
“Fix it? Nobi what’s up…I mean what he do for you to be coming at me like this? He must have done some major fucked up shit.”
“Tre’ I can’t go into all of that right now, but I need you to make sure you give him a little gift and make sure he knows it’s just for him. Make up something, but I need him to smoke it and not sell it, okay?”
“Nobi I got you, but listen…If whatever you working on don’t work out, I’m just a phone call away, for real. You hear me?”
“I hear you. I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks bro…you know I love you right?”
“No doubt! Just like I love you. Tell that nigga to come through tomorrow and I’ll hook him up.”
“Thanks Tre’. Gotta' go…my baby just got home.”
“All right…later.”
“I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Was that Tre?”
“Yeah babe, he said come by tomorrow and he’ll take care of everything.”
“Cool, cool. I need that…yeah that’ll work. Sheeiit, that just made my night Zee. Gotta’ nigga feeling good!”
“Did you get my stuff? I’m not feeling so good.”
“Yeah I got it, but I got something else for you though that’s gone make you feel a whole lot betta’.”
I know he ain’t talking about what I think he talking about. I mean for real? Damn! Here his ass come…
“Let me just smoke the last of this blunt and Imma' give you what you looking for.”
“Percy for real, I don’t feel all that well. I just want to go lie down and get some rest.”
“Imma' let you rest, but first I got a lil’ welcome home gift for ya. You know I love you girl. I know I ain’t always been good to ya, but Zee I love you. That ain’t no bullshit neither…”
“I love you, too, Percy but…”
“But? Naw Zee, no buts tonight. I need you right now. You left me all alone and shit. A nigga got some pent-up shit that only you can take care of. Come here girl…”
Him kissing me…sucking on me…yanking at my clothes…I grabbed my blouse back trying to get him to stop. He won’t stop! He don’t even care if I’m bleeding or hurting…his full weight on top of me…oh God I think I’m gonna’ be sick for real…
“Per-…Percy, babe, I just don’t feel up to it right now…you know with everythi-.”
“Zee, I’m ‘bout to make you feel a betta’ right now dammit…come here girl…”
“But Per-“
“Shhh….”
Ssss…owww…I can’t believe he’s doing this to me…I can’t…I can’t do this shit no more… him fucking me on the same couch he left me on after he beat the hell out of me…God I can’t…I can’t…
“Aww damn, Zee…you feel so damn good…shit!”
“Percy, please…please, I can’t…”
“Shhh, come on now…uhhh damn…Zee, I missed yo ass…ewww, shit girl…this my pussy…this my motherfuckin’ pussy right here… mmmm….”
Oh God, I just want to scream right now! Get the fuck off me you lousy bastard! Okay, okay, just breathe Zee… just breathe…Looking around this room; table still turned over and a hole in the fuckin’ wall…I just need to disconnect… get my mind off this…oh my stomach… it hurts so bad…the only thing that ain’t turned topsy-turvy is my trunk in the corner. I call it my hope chest - well I used to. When Percy and I first got together I just knew we would get married. I started collecting things – little things like magazine pictures of the wedding dress I wanted, pictures of different houses, vacation spots and color swatches for the nursery…
“Oh shit, I’m cummin’ girl… damn Zee… uh uh uh uhhhhhhh….”
“Damn girl… that’s some good ass pussy. You bet’ not neva let another fucka' touch my shit, ya hear me? Zee, you hear me?”
“Yeah Percy, I hear ya.”
“Good…gone go to bed…you look tired.”
Did that son of a bitch just leave me laying here? I swear… Jesus you gone have to help me… just let me get up and get to the bathroom…that’s all I need to do…I was damn near in tears, but of course his ass don’t give a fuck about me. That’s all right, though. Just a little while longer and all this gone be over.
“Damn I’m hungrier than a motherfucker. Some good smoke and some good pussy? A nigga need to get his munch on now! Zee, you ain’t fix me nothin’ to eat up in this piece?”
I’m not even gone answer his ignorant ass. Uhmmmm…. It hurts so bad to even walk. Let me just close this door and run me a bath. Maybe that’ll help me feel better.
“You ain’t got to slam no damn doors and shit! Hell, I’ll fix me a sandwich. You lucky though… I ain’t gone let you fuck up my high, but don’t push me girl… don’t fuckin’ push me.”
Push him? Push him? Fuck you Percy… I know you can’t hear me, but fuck you! You lousy son of a bitch. I hate your ass. I swear to God I hate you…Ah damn this hurts so bad…stinging…breathe Zee, breathe…try to relax…just try to relax…
“Zee, how much longer you gone be in there? Damn! You know it’s hard to sleep when you ain’t in the bed with me. Hurry up.”
“I’m coming, Percy.” I’m coming dammit. Trust me, I would rather sleep in the damn tub instead of lying next to your fuckin' ass, but I’m coming.
“…took you long enuf. What the fuck was you doing in there so damn long?”
“Nothin’…just washing up that’s all. Uhm…”
“What’s the matter with you? “Zee? You hear me?”
“Nothin’…I just need to lay down.”
“Well I’m ready to go to sleep. Come on over here so I can get comfortable.”
“…mmmmm…”
“You crying? What the fuck you crying for?”
“…nothin’ Percy…”
“Well hold that down. I’m trying to sleep. I’m tired as hell…”
Don’t react. Don’t even respond. Just focus on tomorrow…the
end starts tomorrow…