I had been speaking with Mac since I made the decision to rectify the demons of my past. Now it was time to see him face to face for the first time in nearly a decade. I was a bit nervous. Maybe it was because I knew what I had planned for him. Or if I’m honest with myself, maybe I was nervous because of the effect Mac always seemed to have on me – no matter how much I tried to fight it.
We agreed to meet at Harrison’s. We used to go there when we were together. Just being in that place brought back memories - good and bad. Mac was waiting at the bar for me when I arrived. He still looked the same – tall and handsome. I steeled my feelings so as not to succumb to his unwitting charm. I kept my goal in the forefront of my mind. He hurt me badly, and he had to pay. That was my focus.
When he noticed me, he smiled warmly and stood to receive me with his arms wide open. I had to keep the charade going so I returned the smile and willingly walked into his arms. He pulled me in and squeezed tightly. The smell of his cologne filled my nostrils. It was the same cologne he wore when we were together. Some things never change.
“You looking good, Gina.”
“Thanks, Mac.”
“Humph…good enough to eat girl…I swear.”
I just smiled unaffected by his tired and played out lines. He had reserved a table and we sat down for what I knew to be our last dinner together. There were a lot of things about Mac that had been consistent over the years. I hoped his inability to keep anything to himself was still one of them. There was some information I needed to have in order to execute my plan.
“I’m so glad you decided to come see about Ole Mac. Girl, I missed you. Did you miss me?”
Some things I could fake, but others I just couldn’t. He may well have missed me, but I couldn’t lie about missing him. A half smile was all I could muster. I needed to speed this conversation along without being too obvious. Sitting across from him with that stupid grin plastered across his face was a bit much to stomach. When the waiter arrived Mac took full control ordering my drink and what he wanted me to have for dinner - same controlling ass Mac! I let him get away with it and didn’t protest. I just smiled stupidly right back at him. I waited until after dinner had been served before I got down to business.
“So what’s been going on with you? Where you living now?”
“You know me…I don’t like too much change. I’m still working at the same place and hanging with my same folks. When something ain’t broke why try to fix it? I’m still at our old place, too, waiting for you to come back home.”
He reached his hand across the table and grabbed my hand. His touch made me cringe, but I had to play it cool.
“Mac you need to quit lying to yourself. From what I’ve heard you ain’t hardly been waiting around for me.”
“Well, you may not see it as waiting. I’m a man and you know I have certain needs. Yeah, I’ve been with some other gals, but ain’t nobody ever come close to replacing you baby girl…not even close.”
“So how are your children?”
The look on Mac’s face changed briefly from grinning to surprised, but he quickly glossed it over and smiled again.
“Girl you don’t know nothing about that...”
“Yeah I do…trust me.”
The smile started to fade from both our faces.
“Gina, it ain’t like I never wanted kids. I always wanted kids; somebody to carry on the family name. It just didn’t work out for us, but it’s not too late,” he smirked. “It’s just they damn mommas I can’t deal with.”
“What’s wrong with the kids’ mommas, Mac?”
He took a long swig of his bourbon on the rocks.
“You know how ya’ll get - too damn mouthy, always complaining and always wanting something…”
Oh so now he’s lumped me in with them…okay…did he forget, I never had his damn kids? Keep cool Gina…keep it cool…
I wanted to curse him out and remind him why we never had children. It’s not like I hadn’t been pregnant by him more than once. I decided to bite my tongue and let him keep hanging himself. No, this leopard definitely hadn’t changed his spots…
“I’m sure they can’t all be bad. They must have been good enough for you at some point right?”
“Yeah I guess you have a point…but you know me…when they get out of line, I know just how to bring them back in.”
That was enough for me. That’s all I needed to hear. Yeah Mac, I know exactly what you do to get them back in line. I feigned as if I was tired and needed to get home. I didn’t think Mac was none the wiser with the questions I had asked. He was too self-absorbed to be intuitive – dumb bastard! He offered to come to my place to continue our little date night. I told him we would have another chance to get together, but tonight wasn’t going to work out. It took a bit of convincing, but he finally got the hint that the night was over. He walked me to my car and before I could climb in, Mac grabbed me up in his strong arms again and tried to kiss me on the lips. I turned away just in time and his lips landed on my cheek. I swear I could feel my skin burn.
“Come on now girl…after that great meal and spending time with your man that’s all I get is the cheek?”
I refused to dignify the first part of his comment and simply said yes. He pulled me in tighter saying how he couldn’t wait to see me again. I indulged him as long as I could and pulled away.
He reluctantly accepted the subtle rejection and stood back just enough for me to open the car door for myself (he is in no way a gentleman). I closed the door behind me and stuck the key in the ignition. He leaned over and tapped on the glass. I wanted to ignore him and peel out of the parking lot leaving him standing in the dust kicked up by my fast spinning tires, but instead I partially cracked the window just enough to hear what he had to say.
“Can’t wait to see you again…”
I smiled cantankerously, and rolled the window up; locking the car door at the same time. I politely waited until he backed up from Berta before moving out into the road; leaving Harrison’s and Mac in my rearview mirror.