And now here they were as the sun sank behind the mountains and the first stars twinkled back at her. Being here with the Ashe Crew, cuddled against Drew—her Drew—everything just felt right in the world. Seamus was in transit back to Minneapolis thanks to the statements and pictures the crew had taken, Harper was safe and dancing around in her tummy, and this burly crew of bear shifters and their mates were treating her like she was one of them. She’d never fit into a place so completely. She’d always been the puzzle piece with the odd shape, and now she’d finally found her match.
“You gonna eat the rest of that?” Denison asked.
“Dude,” Drew muttered, throwing a bean from Riley’s plate at him across the fire. “You don’t take food from a pregnant lady.”
Kellen looked troubled beside Denny. “That’s no way to treat the Vessel of the Dragon.”
“Drink!” Drew called out.
Snickering ensued as the crew scrambled for their beers and Dixie cups of boxed wine.
“This is a stupid game,” Kellen groused, but his mate, Skyler, bumped his shoulder, and a tiny smile curved his lips.
“I am actually full,” Riley conceded, handing Diem her plate to pass around the circle to Denison.
“You didn’t eat much,” Diem said with a frown as she took the metal plate, still warm from dinner. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Oh, fine. I just don’t have that much room in my stomach anymore. Harper makes it hard to eat a lot in one sitting.” Though tonight she’d lost a bit of her appetite, too. Perhaps from all the excitement of the day or something. Come to think of it, she was a bit worn out from the hike and losing steam quickly, as well. She was just feeling a bit…strange. “I think I’m going to turn in early.”
Brighton stopped plucking lazy notes on an old guitar and rasped out, “What? No, stay.”
“No, I remember those days,” Brooke said, rocking her sleeping boy gently in her arms. “Pregnancy exhaustion is no joke.”
“We’ll try to keep quiet if you want to take the farthest tent over there,” Tagan said from behind his wife and son.
“Thanks. And don’t worry about keeping quiet. I don’t think anything will keep me awake tonight.” Drew pushed her upward like she weighed nothing, then stood himself.
“Night,” he murmured, following behind her.
“Oh, no, I feel bad. You can stay if you want,” she said, snuggling against his chest.
“Yeah, Drew, stay,” Haydan said through a grin. “You’re finally not being an asshole. We’ve missed the fun you.”
“Shut it,” he muttered, throwing his friend the finger over his shoulder and leading Riley toward the row of tents. “And don’t worry about taking me from our friends. It’s not like I don’t see them every day. I want to be with you, and if I can’t sleep, I’ll go back to the fire after you’re out for the night.”
“Okay, deal.” That compromise did make her feel a lot better.
She got a little queasy when she brushed her teeth with Drew by the river. He rubbed her back and looked worried. The day had definitely taken its toll on her, but she wasn’t going to regret the trip. This had been one of the best times of her life.
Sinking into the air mattress in the tent, she exhaled a relieved sigh as she watched Drew pull his sweater over his head. His arms and abs flexed with the movement in the artificial light the lantern threw. The claw mark Bruiser had given him that first day was nothing more than a light pink mark that would probably go away in a couple of days. It reminded her of how different Bear was today than when he’d attacked his friend.
“Come snuggle me,” she said as he pulled a leather necklace from his neck. He tossed it onto his pile of clothes in the corner and kicked out of his boots.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said softly, a tender smile in his voice.
It was chilly out, but the blanket over them was thick and Drew was roughly the temperature of the sun, so the gooseflesh disappeared from her skin in no time.
“Hey,” he said, settling behind her and pulling her against his chest. “I liked watching you with the crew today. You fit with us.”
She smiled at the gray nylon tent wall as the compliment settled over her.
“And I like that you say what you mean and don’t get intimidated around everyone. It can be overwhelming. Everly had trouble adjusting at first.”
Riley could see that. Everly was Brighton’s mate and was naturally shy. It would be easy to get lost in a group with such big personalities.
“Well, I liked the way you let me see your bear today and how you took care of me without coddling me. I imagine that’s a difficult balance with your animal instincts.”
He chuckled deep in his chest, the sound vibrating against her back. “You have no idea.”
“Drew?” she asked, flopping over. She’d meant for it to be graceful and swift, but instead she probably resembled a tuna fish on dry land. Damn air mattress.
He laughed and tried to help, but it took a ridiculously long time to get situated facing him.
“What?” he asked, practically wheezing with amusement.
“I was just going to say, before I ruined the moment with my floundering, that I like you.”
“Oh,” he said, trying to contain his laughter. “That’s very serious. You like me.”
“I do, and stop your smirking. I like you, and I think we should be exclusive.” For the next two weeks, but she banished the sad thoughts. There was no room for that in this tent.
Drew reached over and turned off the lantern, casting them both in shadow. “Oh, so I should stop banging my other girlfriends?”
“I’m being serious. And don’t talk about other girlfriends. It makes me feel all angry and want to claw you.”
“Mmm,” he growled. “Dangerous little human, there’s no need to claw me. I was yours from the moment I looked into your eyes.” He stroked her short hair out of her face and cupped the back of her head. With a lingering kiss to her forehead, he murmured, “Now sleep. You had me worried tonight.”
Riley was already well on her way, all tucked up close to Drew and feeling safe. Outside, Brighton and Denison were playing a slow country song, and in the woods beyond, the crickets were singing along. Her eyes grew heavier as she inhaled Drew’s scent, and she clenched her fist against his chest.
And in the moment right as she drifted off, she could’ve sworn she heard him whisper, “I love you.”
****
Riley gasped and sat straight up.
“What’s wrong?” Drew asked in an alarmed voice in the dark.
“I don’t know,” she rushed out. She felt panicked and strange, but couldn’t put her finger on why. If it had been a noise outside, Drew would’ve woken up first. He was the lightest sleeper she’d ever met.
“You smell different,” he said low.
“I’m wet. Oh my God, am I bleeding?”
“No, no, not blood. It doesn’t smell like iron. Shit.” Drew fumbled with the lantern in the dark.
She squinted blindly when he turned it on.
“I’m peeing!” Horror filled her as wetness spread down the legs of her charcoal-colored cotton pajama pants.
“It’s not pee,” Drew murmured, eyes wide as he stared at her thighs. “I think your water broke.”
“No,” she whispered, devastation clogging her throat. “I was supposed to have two more weeks.”
“Wait here. I’m going to get help.” Drew rocketed out of bed and didn’t even bother putting his boots or shirt on before he disappeared through the tent flap and into the night.
She was leaking steadily now with tiny gushes when she moved, like a dam breaking. Not now! Harper girl, I’m supposed to have two more weeks here with these people…with him.
Tears burned her eyes, and this time, she didn’t hold them back.
Diem threw open the door of the tent, looking worried and disheveled. Tagan and Bruiser followed, then Brooke, and it was getting crowded in the four-person-sleeper.<
br />
Tagan’s nostrils flared. “Yeah, it’s your water. Smells like Brooke’s did.”
Diem knelt down and pressed her hand on Riley’s tummy, her eyes brimming with moisture. “We’re going to have a baby today.”
Happiness surged through Riley. She was going to make Diem and Bruiser’s dreams come true today. She was going to make the guilt of what Seamus had done easier to bear.
Then sadness washed over her just as quickly. Her time here would be at an end. She couldn’t be here and watch Diem and Bruiser raise the child that had stolen her heart. Couldn’t stand by and watch them love her and kiss her, hold her hand, push her in the swing, take her to preschool. Someday she would have that with a child of her own, but her heart didn’t see anything but Harper right now.
Riley’s emotions were wrecked as she helped them pack her few belongings into her backpack. Everyone spoke in hushed, excited tones, but she didn’t understand the words that were coming from them. It was all a rush, strands of conversation that blurred together as her mind raced on and on.
Drew, Drew, Drew, her Drew. He would be hurt when she left. Why had she let this get so far? Because you thought you had weeks, not hours, with him.
A sob filled her throat as she followed the others out of the tent and into the night.
Chapter Fourteen
Damon Daye’s house was so cold.
The midwife requested the heater be turned up to someone outside the door.
Clean towels, clean linens, everything in white. Why white? Why not black to hide the stains better?
Screaming, curling into herself, agony.
She’d left Drew at the door. The separation had already begun.
Diem held her hand tight, but the room was a blur.
Sweat, effort, pain.
Push, rest, push, rest, forever and ever.
It would never end.
But then it did.
A baby’s cry.
“It’s a girl,” the midwife said in a proud voice.
Eyes closed. Keep them closed. Don’t look at her, or you’ll never be okay.
“Do you want to see her?” Diem, so sweet. So caring about her feelings.
This was her moment, though. Diem had her daughter.
“Can you take her away?”
“Riley—”
Ragged whisper. “Please?”
Harper’s cries faded. Door clicked closed.
Midwife looked sad as sobs wracked Riley’s body.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
She was supposed to feel relief.
This was supposed to be her redemption.
So why did it suddenly feel like she’d just lost everything?
Chapter Fifteen
The nurse hugged her shoulders and the midwife, Dora, followed.
It was the older woman’s sad smile that brought a sigh of resignation from Riley’s lips. “What?”
“I just don’t want you to rush and do anything you’ll regret, dear. It’s okay to have feelings about these things, you know?”
She did know. She’d been trying desperately to keep her well of feelings from overflowing completely and ruining Diem and Bruiser’s moment. “I’ll be fine. I’ll deal with everything better if I’m not right in the thick of it like I am here.”
“Okay.” She and the nurse headed for the door, but Dora turned back to Riley before she left. “You know, Riley, you fit in the shifter world. You’ve slipped in here and found your place seamlessly. It’s been wonderful to watch you and Diem’s relationship grow over the last few days here. Don’t take friendship like that for granted.”
“I won’t. I’m going to call her the second I get home.” Emotion made her words come out too airy, so she stopped talking and gave Dora a little wave.
Puffing air out of her cheeks, she fingered a small, gold heart necklace Damon had given her as a push present. On the front, her initial was engraved, while on the back, there was a cursive H for Harper with the baby’s birthstone jewel beside it—a tiny opal. She would wear it every day for always to remember the little girl she’d protected and loved. The little dragon, or bear, that owned her heart.
Damon knocked softly on the doorframe. Dressed impeccably, as always, he stood with his elbow extended. He’d already asked her to stay. It had been so hard telling everyone no, especially since she hadn’t been able to put into words the reasons she couldn’t stay. No one would understand.
Mason had already taken her bag down to the car while Dora and the nurse had checked her one last time to approve her for travel, but now it was time to leave this place and begin to heal.
Damon waved goodbye from his front porch as Mason drove her away. The man was always stoic, but today he seemed to be wrestling with his emotions. He kept swallowing hard as she waved back to him.
Heart in her throat, she turned around and cradled her duffle bag over her now-empty stomach like a comfort blanket.
She was about to leave Diem and Damon and Bruiser.
She was about to leave the Ashe Crew and the mountains she’d fallen in love with.
She was about to leave Drew.
The ache in her chest burned brighter, and she swallowed a sob so she wouldn’t catch Mason’s attention. Already, he’d cast her a few concerned looks in the rearview.
Scooting over to the window, she bit her thumbnail and tried to blink her tears back. She couldn’t say goodbye to Drew or to the others. She’d always been shit at goodbyes and wouldn’t ever leave if she had to go through something so traumatic. This was for the best, she told herself, as she had a hundred times already. A clean break would be easier for everyone.
On and on they drove as, outside the window, evergreens passed in a muddy patchwork of greens and browns. The sky was overcast with fast moving, rain-heavy clouds, creating a dark ambiance that fit her mood. They passed the switchback and the landing. The long arms of the metal equipment stood frozen in the air, as if in mid-chore when the Ashe Crew had called it a day.
She searched for Drew’s truck, but the dirt parking area was completely empty.
“When I was your age, I fell in love with a woman,” Mason said.
Riley frowned and looked at him through the rearview mirror. His eyes had gone emotional as the road passed beneath the tires of the dark Town Car.
“Do you know what I am, Riley? What kind of shifter?”
“Drew told me you are a boar shifter. Not a pig, but one of those huge Russian boars with the long tusks.”
“Yes. And in my culture, the males sometimes take two or three mates in a lifetime. We’re not monogamous by nature, but I was. I am. My mate was human, and she died after we’d been paired for only two years.”
“Oh no, Mason. I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head slowly and told her, “Don’t apologize for things that aren’t your fault, Riley. Not ever. I got two beautiful years with my Esmerelda. Two years of memories that will last a lifetime because there will never be another for me.”
Unease filled her as the Asheland Mobile Park came into view. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I believe in love and not wasting it.”
“I don’t understand.”
Mason didn’t answer but instead pulled through the back entrance of the trailer park and pulled the car to a stop in the middle of the street.
He turned in the driver’s seat, sadness pooling in his dark eyes. “I’m sorry. I know you didn’t want to say goodbye, but I can’t take you out of here without you hearing what they have to say.”
“What?” she asked in a panicked voice as her door opened.
Drew stood there, one arm behind his back in a formal gesture she’d never seen him do, the other hand outstretched to her. His chin was lifted high, and hurt was etched in every beautifully masculine facet of his face.
She couldn’t breathe.
Be brave.
Slipping her hand in his, she allowed him to help her out. Tenderly, she stepped out of
the car to face the Ashe Crew. Every one of them were gathered in a half-circle in front of her—everyone but Diem and Bruiser.
“I know you’re leaving,” Drew said quietly. “I knew it from the moment you looked at me with your heart in your eyes when you went into that room to have Harper. I knew I’d lost you, and it gutted me. I can’t live with myself and with your decision unless I try, though, Riley. You’re it for me. My mate, my better half, the part of my soul I thought had gone dark before I met you. You’re my light.” His voice hitched, and he cleared his throat and rested his hands on his hips, staring at her helplessly before he continued. “I’ve talked to Tagan and the others. I’ll leave this place for you. I understand the reasons you don’t want to be here, and they revolve around Harper and the pain of giving up a child who you love so completely. I’ll come with you if you’ll have me, Riley.”
“You’d leave all this?” she asked in a wrecked voice. She gestured to the mountains and to the Ashe Crew. “You’d leave them and the life you’ve built here. For me?”
“In a heartbeat. You’re my mate.” He said it with a tiny shake of his head, as if that should’ve been obvious.
“I can’t ask you to leave your crew,” she whispered. “I can’t.”
“Okay, then there is someone you need to meet.”
Diem cut through the crowd, holding Harper wrapped in a fuzzy white blanket. Bruiser followed his mate, his dark eyes steady on Riley.
“No,” Riley said thickly, shaking her head. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, and two warm tears slipped down her cheeks. “I told you I can’t see her.”
Something warm and soft bumped against Riley’s chest.
“Hold the daughter you gave us,” Diem said, sniffling.
Riley cradled her in her arms, but refused to look. She couldn’t. Her heart would break if she did.
“Mate,” Drew said in a deep, thick voice. “Open your eyes and see what you’ve given to us.”
A sob escaped Riley as she cracked her eyes open and looked down at the baby she’d grown and protected. At the tiny baby she’d given birth to. Riley gasped at her beauty. Perfect little nose and ears. A crop of brunette hair like her father’s and puckered pink lips. It was her eyes that stunned Riley to stillness, though. One of Harper’s eyes was a soft brown, the color of Diem’s, and one was blue with a long, reptilian pupil.