~*~
The reception at Deling Garden had been strained, at best. Jaxon had warned us most of those who attended either had social problems earning them assigned attendance as a 'workshop', or that they hoped to speak to Cmdr. Squall about a transfer. Needless to say, Zell and I had agreed to leave as soon as we could so that the torture for everyone would be as little as possible.
For us and for them.
When we arrived, the applause had barely been polite, but I hadn't cared. I was married to Zell Dincht. What else mattered? So, we had cake and chit-chatted, doing our best to make a circle on our way back to the door. During that circle I could have sworn I saw a woman who looked so much like Quistis as to be her twin, but Zell had chalked it up to me wanting her and my brother there so bad that I imagined them. Again, I didn't think about it for very long. Not with Zell beside me, his arm around me, and an occasional kiss being placed on my temple.
Euphoria was my favorite place.
Not even an hour into the reception, Zell had taken me by the hand and hurried me out with a whispered, "Sh. Let's go while no one's looking." and had rushed me all the way from Deling Garden to the train station in Deling City, giggling and chuckling like a couple of newlyweds all the way. The adventure of escaping the reception had been very exciting, and it had given me the romantic impression of elopement. It had also made the evening even more perfect.
Now Zell and I quietly walked toward the Balamb Hotel, hands held and the sound of the water the only whisper between us as the evening sky twinkled with stars that seemed to smile down at us and offer shushed 'congratulations'. This had been the day I had waited for my entire life, and now it was coming to a close.
I was a little afraid for what was at the end of this adventure. After all, we'd spent our entire relationship keeping carefully back from the emotional edge of that kind of intimacy. Now I had to get my heart and mind to realize it was okay. That I didn't have to pull away, or keep myself in check, or anything like that.
Zell and I had talked about this a lot over the past three months. Talking about that time when we would finally be able to let loose the feelings we'd been holding back for what seemed forever. My greatest fear was that I would pull back from him when he touched me, hurting his feelings with an instinctual reaction that had been serving as a protection my entire life. And I'd confessed that to him, too...
"Zell..." I lowered my gaze to where my fingers absently brushed and tapped at the cement wall of the Forbidden Area. "I... I've never been touched before. For years I've had to keep that part of myself reserved for the moment when I would finally be married..." I looked up again to find him watching me with a soft smile, standing so close that I could feel his warmth and smell his welcome aroma of musk. "Zell, I don't want to hurt you by pulling back."
"I know, kitten." He reached out and tenderly rubbed my back. "We've been telling ourselves 'no sex' for months. It'll just take a little bit to relax and get used to the idea."
"Relax?" I bit my lip and looked out toward the view of Balamb Garden. "Relax, Zell? Remember how long it took me to 'relax' when we were dating?" I reminded softly.
"Sure I do, but you were a different person then. So was I."
I sighed and lowered my gaze.
"Now, kitten..." Zell drew me close, resting his chin on my head as I wrapped my arms around him.
I sighed again and closed my eyes. "Mom said it's natural for me to feel shy," I admitted.
"Of course it is. You're a modest person, Sally, and here you're going to have to strip down to the skin."
I reluctantly giggled and pushed back, my cheeks flamed red as I hissed, "Zell..." in complaint.
His smile was only partially mischievous. "What? It's the truth. Same with me for you. I'm willing to bet you've never seen a guy stripped down to his nothings." I shook my head and lowered my focus to the center of his shirt. "Well there ya go. We're both gonna be a little nervous of what the other thinks. Maybe even embarrassed. I know you were about your birthmark. Remember?" I nodded, still not looking up. "But you were finally able to not need to wear your t-shirt over your swimsuit. It'll be the same kinda thing with everything else."
"But..."
Zell waited and then tipped my chin up. "'But'?" he prompted.
"But I don't know what to do, not really. Sure my mom and I have talked, but it's not the same as in person."
One side of Zell's lips twitched upward. "Sally, we don't have to have sex the first night. We can just cuddle. I told you; we've got three weeks alone together. We'll work up to it."
I pushed back and turned away. "But I feel so stupid," I confessed tearfully.
"Oh man, Sally." He draped his arm around my shoulders. "Don't feel stupid. I'm kinda spooked about it myself."
I blinked tears from eyes as I looked up at him. "You... You are?"
"Sure. What if I'm no good?"
My eyes widened. "...you really think that?" I asked in a hushed voice.
"Of course I think that. Sex isn't exactly on the course list here. I'm kinda goin' on instinct and what seems to work."
"So... So we're going to be learning... together?"
He chuckled and pulled me close. "And probably having a lot of fun doing it."
I giggled, "Zell," and snuggled closer...
And that conversation continued to run through my mind as we drew closer and closer to the hotel. I mean, what a relief to know he was just as uncertain and hesitant and... and scared as I was. That simple fact helped me relax a little more. And when in conjunction to the kissing and cuddling we'd done on the train? The terror of this first night wasn't as bad as it had been.
"You okay?" Zell asked softly, giving my hand a gentle pressure.
I looked over to meet his gaze and smiled as I nodded. Of course I was okay. I was married to Zell Dincht. I was in love with Zell Dincht. I was on a honeymoon with Zell Dincht. I couldn't be more okay.
"Just checkin'. You've been kinda quiet."
I looked ahead. The hotel was only a few moments down the cobbled walk. "I've been thinking about what you said."
"About our first night?"
I nodded.
"There's no pressure, Sally. Okay?"
I nodded again as I faced him, my smile brightening. "I know. That's why I'm not as terrified as I was that day we talked about it. I'm still a little scared and nervous, but I'm okay."
One side of Zell's lips twitched as his face and ears seemed to get a little pink. "You're doing better than me. I'm scared as hell."
That confession had me blinking and my mouth dropping open as I halted. "Really?"
He nodded. "Yeah. I'm a performance freak, Sally. If it's something physical, I gotta be perfect at it the first time." I was about to say something when he said, "I know what I said before, and that's totally true, but I've still got to admit I'm scared shitless. I mean, dude, you look at me with stars in your eyes now. After our first time together, you might look at me with a 'what the hell was I thinking?'"
I gasped again, my hand shielding my mouth moments before I leaned toward him and took hold of his arm. "Zell, oh my gosh, I wouldn't ever think that."
"Oh I know," he said, nodding as his expression showed seriousness. "It's what I tell me you could think. And I know it's just a mind job I'm doing on myself. I just haven't had the chance to work it out yet."
"Is there... Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Help? I don't think so. Like I said, I just need to work it out." He grinned and draped an arm around my shoulders to draw me toward the hotel again. "You never knew I was a freak about physical stuff, Sally? Come on. I've been pushing you hard for months. Ever since we started working out."
"But no harder than I would have pushed myself," I reminded. "Being SeeD demands perfection."
"But being married doesn't. Only I never learned to cut myself or anyone else any slack."
I smiled at him. "Uh-huh. You're so easy on me
it's funny."
His expression softened. "Yeah. Okay. So I am."
I rested my cheek against him as I wrapped my arms around his waist. "It won't be any different tonight, and I'm determined to believe that."
He kissed the top of my head. "You rock on so many different levels."
I gave him a squeeze. "You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Man."
We giggled and/or chuckled at the same time, Zell pulling me closer against him as we entered the hotel and made our way up to the front desk.
"Zell," the man at the desk greeted. "Congratulations."
"Thanks, Derik. Is our room ready?"
"Of course. Right this wa--"
"That's okay. I know the way."
"Of course. Have a good evening," Derik said as Zell guided me to the stairs and up.
Zell chuckled. "He has no idea."
I softly giggled. "That sounds like the Zell I know and love."
We crested the stairs and Zell scooped me up into his arms. "Hey. I told you I just need to work it out."
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek before nuzzling mine against it. "You take all the time you need, sweetie. I'm not going anywhere."
Zell adjusted his hold to open the door of our room. "That's good to know. It would be a bummer if you had plans. I mean, dude, the boat leaves tomorrow."
I giggled and pulled back, wrinkling my nose at him before kissing him lightly on the lips. "You silly boy."
He closed the door with his foot, submerging the room into darkness save the soft glow of the moon from the sliding glass doors leading out onto the balcony. Then Zell slowly lowered my feet to the ground, his hands moving to my waist as my arms still gently looped his neck. He softly smiled down at me. I fell in love with him all over again when he looked at me like that.
"Hi, Mrs. Dincht," he said in a low voice.
I sighed before I whispered, "Hi, Mr. Dincht."
Zell caressed a lock of hair behind my ear as his eyes... Man. I loved his eyes. They twinkled and glowed such a beautiful shade of blue that it had me convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that our honeymoon would be more than 'okay'. Once we got past the hesitancy and the shyness, we'd be all right. And when Zell released a deep breath and drew me close... I closed my eyes and brought my arms down from his neck to go behind him, under the jacket of his tuxedo to the warmth that had always made me feel safe and more. And his arms held me close in a way I hadn't ever been held before. Tight but gentle. Completely and utterly against him; as if he was as dazed about the reality of this moment as I was.
It was the best moment of my life, and I knew there were so many more waiting for us.
"Hey, Sally?" he asked softly, his breath tickling my neck.
I sighed. "Hm?"
"Could you sing me that song again?"
My lips lilted upward as I whispered, "Okay," and began singing. Humming when the emotion wouldn't let me sing. Singing when the words were too wonderful to keep silent... and Zell just held me close, rocking back and forth as we danced in the moonlight to usher in our 'happily ever after' with a song and a smile.
The End
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Other Bookworms & Booya Saga Books Referenced in this Installment:
Few Words–the story of Fujin & Marshal’s mission to Winhill
The Reluctant Knight–the story of Seifer and Janine’s unique relationship
In Theory, by Nona Mae King & J.Seay–Quistis’s mission to Deling Garden
About the Author | Nona Mae King
Writing has been my passion since I was a child when I began creating skits and songs. My life would be empty without this call. There would be no purpose. No ending to guide my daily struggle. No story toward which to strive. Each day something beckons, and that--I know--is the waiting tale. One last happy ending.
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