After he cut the engine, killing all the lights so we had nothing but the moonlight coming in through the windows, he turned to face me. So I turned to face him too. I could make out the pleased smile on his face as he took my hands. “Thanks for that. It was fun.”
Anything that involved him was fun in my book, so I merely shrugged. “It was my pleasure.”
He watched me a few seconds longer and rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand before sighing. “God, I missed you. I missed you so fucking much it scared the shit out of me. And it was...it was like a great big miserable premonition of what my life would be like without you.”
I frowned, confused. “Without me?”
He nodded and glanced out the front window. “Don’t you ever worry about that? Whenever something starts going too good for me, I always freak, thinking it’s about to be taken away.” Moonlight reflected all the concern on his face as he turned back to me. “And I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
“Well, you’re not going to lose me,” I assured him, reaching across the seats to cup his face. “I’m a lot harder to get rid of than that.”
“Promise?” Taking my hands, he turned them over to kiss the palms, one at a time.
“Cross my heart.” Leaning forward to kiss him, I growled when the gear shifter and cup holders got in my way. “Let’s get in the back. I want to be able to cuddle with you.”
A lascivious grin crossed his face. “Ah, you want to break your new car in right, huh?”
I wiggled my eyebrows and giggled. “Something like that.” Instead of opening my door and getting into the back that way, I climbed between the two front seats, laughing the entire way.
“Mmm, nice view.” Knox’s hand landed on my backside while I was trying to squeeze my hips through, and I tumbled into the backseat with an umph.
Unable to control my laughter, I held my stomach and scooted to the side so he could get through.
He immediately slammed his knee into the center console. “Ouch. Shit.”
I started to reach for him. “Are you okay?” But he was already fumbling his way through, and I had to dive aside to get out of his way.
Chuckling and out of breath, he landed ungracefully beside me and then wiggled until he was sitting the correct way. Then he blew out some oxygen and answered, “Yeah, I’m good.”
I curled up to him and massaged his knee. “Want me to kiss it better?”
He shook his head. “No, actually. I think I hurt my lip even more. Maybe you should kiss that instead.”
I slapped at his chest. “Liar.” He hadn’t bumped anything even remotely close to his face.
Grinning, he tugged me into his lap. “How about you kiss me there, anyway?”
So I did. We shared nothing but slow drugging kisses for the next couple minutes. He grew hard under me, and I knew I was wet, but neither of us did anything about it.
After a long, satisfied sigh, he drew his lips from mine and pressed our foreheads together while he lazily rubbed my back. “Sometimes I wish I hadn’t fallen so hard for you. I wouldn’t worry so much, and I could just concentrate on the fun we have.”
“You don’t have to worry, Knox.” I kissed his cheek. “Even if we were temporarily separated, I’d always be with you.” Placing my hand to his chest, I gazed into his eyes with all the sincerity in my soul. “And I’d always find my way back to this.”
He covered my hand with his and pressed them more firmly against his heart. “I keep thinking about how to make this work,” he admitted from a rusty voice. “You became the most important thing in my world this summer, and I only want the absolute best for you, but...what if I’m not the best thing for you?”
“You are,” I insisted. “God, you can’t even realize, probably because you didn’t know me before, but you’ve given me…I don’t even know how to explain it, but something has bloomed inside me since meeting you. I don’t feel like a worthless, self-conscious misfit anymore. It’s like you’ve awakened the real me, and that person is special.”
“Of course you’re special. You’re the most extraordinary person I know. I saw it the first time we ran into each other in the woods.”
“Well, I didn’t. I didn’t see anything at all remarkable about myself until you showed me what I could be. So don’t ever think you’re not what’s best for me. Okay?”
He threaded his fingers through my hair and gazed into my eyes before saying, “Will you marry me?”
My mouth fell open.
Shaking his head, he quickly revised, “I mean, someday, way far in the future when we no longer have to worry about our families or school or any of that shit. When we’re older.”
“Yes,” I whispered, bobbing my head so hard I could’ve given myself whiplash. “Yes!” I leaned in to kiss him, but he caught my face, halting me, his eyes searching mine.
“Are you sure? It’s not going to be easy, and I have no idea how we’re going to manage it. But I’ve been thinking. I thought about us and how we could make this work the entire two weeks you were gone.”
“And?” I pressed, eager to hear what conclusion he’d come to.
“And I…I need a job, a decent job, something worthy enough. So…I know…I think I know what I want to be.”
I lit up, too excited to hear what he had to say. “What?”
“Well…I love our woods. I love plants and working with my hands, and just being surrounded by nature. I think...what do you think of, like, me running a tree nursery?”
“You want to own a tree nursery?” I wasn’t expecting an idea like this, but I liked it. I loved it, actually, and I could envision Knox in that kind of profession perfectly.
He shrugged, looking suddenly bashful. “I know I’d probably have to work at one for a while, learn the trade, you know. But then, maybe after a couple years when I’d saved up some money...” He shrugged again. “Who knows? Maybe it’d actually work.”
“Of course it will.” A smile spread across my face. “And I could minor in business management, so I could help you with the legal paperwork part of it.”
He glanced at me in surprise. “You don’t have to do that.”
I grasped his arm and shook. “But I want to. I want to be your partner in all things.”
He interlaced our fingers. “I want that too.”
I leaned in toward him, my mouth reaching for his. Our lips meshed, and soon we were breathing hard and straining for each other.
By the time his palm slipped under my shirt, I was so keyed up I think I could’ve come as soon as he touched me. “I still have the condom in my pocket,” I said into his ear.
He groaned, his hips lurching up to press harder between my legs. “Jesus, City. You sure like to tempt me.”
“We’re going to be married, anyway,” I coaxed, spider-crawling my fingers down his abdomen. “It’s pretty much like we’re already husband and wife.”
He didn’t stop me when I opened his jeans. Leaning his head back against the leather car seat, he panted as I pulled him into my hand. “Are you sure?” he finally asked. “You’re only sixteen. Once it’s done, you can’t ever be a virgin again. And I could last for years on third base. There’s no reason to rush.”
I pressed my forehead to his and pumped him harder, making him press up into my hand. “I want to share every possible thing there is to share with you, Knox Arrow Parker. Please make love with me.”
The moment his resistance shattered, he kissed me hard and gripped my clothes, yanking my shirt off over my head. I reached behind me and undid my bra. He slipped the straps off my shoulders and kissed his way down my collarbone and to my breasts. When he sucked a nipple into his mouth, I clutched his head and whimpered.
“Knox.” I shifted on his lap, pressing down on his thigh to help relieve some of the pressure between my legs. “Be careful, or I’m going to come before we even start.”
“Good.” He slid me off his lap and onto the seats so I was lying on my back, spine against lea
ther. “I want you to come at least once before we start, so I know you’re really ready.”
“I’m ready,” I assured him in a high voice as he slid my shorts and panties down my legs.
He only grinned before taking off his shirt. Then he leaned forward and kissed me…between the legs. I bowed up my back and clutched handfuls of his hair. His tongue swirled fast and my body grew rigid, seeking relief while it savored the mounting compression. I gasped his name, and he must’ve known how close I was because he thrust two fingers into me. Almost immediately, I screamed out my release.
When I finally came down, he was sitting up and tugging his pants down his thighs. “God, you’re amazing,” he murmured as he found my discarded shorts and fished out the condom. But as soon as he had it in his hand, he paused. “You sure about this?” He held it up and shook his head. “We can still wait. I’m okay with waiting.”
“Put it on,” I said, opening my legs and touching myself. “I need more.”
He sucked in a breath. “Fuck, City. That’s so hot.”
“I remember you saying how much you wished you could’ve seen me do this to myself.” I whimpered and arched my back when I hit a spot that actually felt good.
“You are hands down the best girlfriend ever. I so do not deserve you.” His fingers shook as he opened the package and carefully eased the condom on. Once he was suited up, he turned to me. “We can stop at any time, baby. Don’t ever forget that.”
I nodded. “Okay. Why are you shaking so much?”
Even his laugh trembled as he moved above me. “Because I’m nervous as fuck. I want to make this amazing for you, and I really have no idea what I’m doing.”
Once he’d settled his hips between my legs and was supporting the top half of himself over my body with his arms, I touched his cheek. “Do you think it’ll be good for you?”
He snorted. “Oh, there’s no doubt about that.”
“Then it’ll be good for me.”
After blowing out a breath and nodding, he sent me a grateful smile. “And here I was so sure I’d have to be the one to talk you through this and calm you down.”
“You’re doing great,” I offered, playing along.
He shook his head and grinned. “Shut up, smart-ass.” Then he pressed the head of his cock against my entrance.
We both sucked in a breath.
“Okay, now I’m nervous,” I said.
“I’ll stop.” He immediately began to pull away.
“No!” I clutched him back to me. “Just…could you go slow? Really, really, really slow. Like snail slow. Please.”
He huffed out a breath and pressed his brow to mine. “That was already part of the plan.”
“All right, okay. Good. I’m ready then.” I drew in a bolstering breath, but he merely watched me before taking a small piece of my hair and winding it around his finger.
“You know, that first day in the woods, I never in a million years would’ve thought we’d end up here. You have no idea how privileged I feel to get to be with you.”
A blinding love filled my chest. Touching his cheek, I whispered, “I feel the same exact way.”
He kept gazing at me as he began to press inside me. The unfamiliar stretching made me grip his arm. His eyes were wide as he paused and whispered, “Wow.” Then his brow crinkled with concern. “How’re you doing?”
I nodded. “Good.” Even though I wasn’t that sure at all. I kind of wanted to back out of it altogether, but I couldn’t tell him that after I’d spent so much effort talking him into it. He was going slow, though, just like I’d asked, so I appreciated that. He gave me all the time in the world to adjust to him.
It took a toll on him, though. Sweat beaded on his brow, strain made his face redden, and his arms were beginning to tremble.
“I love you,” I told him.
“Love you too.” He slid deeper and broke through some barrier that made me flinch. He froze solid. “City?”
“I’m good. I’m okay. Don’t stop.”
Seated deep in me, he shook his head. “I don’t know if I can move right now. I’m so close I’m afraid I’ll go off as soon as I do.”
I slid my hands around to cup his buttocks. “Move anyway.”
He shook his head. “I want you to come with me.”
“Baby, I already came. It’s your turn.”
I could tell by his expression that he wanted to argue with me, but the urge to pump took over, and he pulled out before pushing back in. This time didn’t hurt at all, but it still felt…funny. Knox groaned and buried his face in my neck. “Oh...shit. You feel so good.”
I stroked the back of his hair and down his back. “I love touching your bare back. Have I ever told you how much I love touching you here…?” I ran my fingers over the back of him before sliding them over his taut buttocks and clutching him hard in my palms. “And here.”
“I love you, period.” He lifted his face to kiss me and began to thrust with more purpose. My inner muscles seemed to adjust to the repeated invasion, and the stretching actually became…nice, until—I sucked in a breath when he hit a spot that felt a lot better than nice.
“Oh. Do that again.”
“What? This?” He did it, with a little more intensity. I arched under him and moaned. He kissed me deeper. The moment our tongues mated, he slid a hand down and caught my clit between his fingers. The shock made me come.
Knox grunted, gripped my hair and followed me into the storm.
We held each other, kissing through it and then breathing against each other’s necks when we needed air. Once he stilled inside me, and my body was done quaking, he brushed damp hair out of my face and kissed my cheek.
I grinned up at him and whispered, “Home run, baby.”
He laughed and pressed his forehead to my shoulder. “I can’t believe we just did that.”
“Me neither.” I stroked his damp skin and kissed the side of his head, then his temple. His cheek. “But it was pretty cool, wasn’t it?
“If by cool, you mean the most amazing thing ever, then sure.” He looked up at me. “Are you okay?”
I snorted. “If by okay, you mean absolutely wonderful, then sure.”
Chuckling at my answer, he pulled out of me and began to sit up. “I’m probably squishing you.”
I wanted to tell him he was fine, I liked him right where he was. But okay, I did feel a bit squished. I sat up beside him, thinking I should feel embarrassed that we were sitting naked together side by side in the backseat of my new car, but I didn’t even experience a smidgeon of awkward shame.
Looking down at his lap, he made a strange sound in his throat. “Okay, my first used condom. What the hell do I do with this thing?”
“Umm…throw it out the window?”
He went to pull it off as I stood up and leaned over the front seat to turn the car onto accessory and roll down the back window for him.
“Shit,” he hissed. “There’s blood on it. Are sure you’re okay?”
I plopped back down beside him, rolling my eyes. “It was my first time; there was supposed to be blood.”
“I know, but...I’m actually looking at the fucking blood now, and it’s...do you still hurt? How bad did it hurt? Don’t lie to me. Because if you’re not okay—”
“Knox.” I clasped his face in both hands and smiled into his eyes. “I am more than okay. I’m wonderful. And, no, it doesn’t hurt at all.”
“But it did?” he pressed, worry creasing his features.
I squinted thoughtfully and admitted, “For like half a second maybe, but then it felt so good, the little pinch of pain at first was worth it.”
“Truth?”
“Truth,” I assured.
He kissed me once, and then flung the used condom out the window so he could grasp my face and kiss me deeper. “Thank you,” he said, pulling me into his lap. “Thank you for the best summer of my entire life. I look forward to sharing twenty more with you, and then twenty more after that.”
>
“What about winter, and fall and spring?”
“Those too. I can’t wait to spend every season with you.”
He leaned in to kiss me again, but a light filled the backseat.
I blinked against the sudden brightness. “What—”
“Shit, shit, shit.” He shoved me off his legs. “A car’s coming!”
“Oh my God!” Totally not expecting that, I dove off him the rest of the way, covering my chest as I went.
“Clothes. Now,” he ordered, finding his boxers first thing and yanking them on.
“I can’t find anything,” I wailed, my panic making my head even more blurry and unable to find a single piece of my outfit.
“Here. I have your panties.” He tossed them to me, and I scurried to pull them on, accidentally jabbing him in the rib.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. Just hurry.”
I glanced out the window at the approaching headlights. “Maybe they’ll drive past without noticing us.” We were somewhat obscured by the tree line.
Except the car slowed down and pulled into the space behind my car.
Knox shook his head. “They’re not driving past.”
I whimpered, my fingers suddenly the clumsiest appendages on earth. “I can’t get my bra on.”
He gave up on trying to untangle his pants to help me with my bra. We’d just snapped it into place, when car doors slammed from the other vehicle. I held my breath as approaching footsteps sounded through the opened back window.
Knox and I clutched each other in nothing but our underwear as a male voice said, “Felicity?”
I shivered against Knox and looked up into his eyes. “It’s Max.”
I spent most of the day at the gym. I should’ve been proud of myself; I hadn’t ignited when City had pounced and pushed and had no mercy on me. I’d felt all the things I always felt when the dark, helpless rage took over, but I’d restrained myself. I’d gotten out and gone to work off my steam, and everything had worked out okay. I should’ve been pleased with my progress.
But I felt like shit.