“Maybe. I’ve been with him since I was fifteen. He does know me pretty well.”
“He started training you when you were fifteen?”
“No, not at first. When I was fifteen my mom lost her second job, so my uncle got me a job at a gym so I could help out. Preach hired me to clean up and hold the heavy bag while the fighters trained. One afternoon, the regular sparring practice guy didn’t show and I talked Preach into letting me fill in. I was good at blocking shots from my three brothers, so it wasn’t hard for me to catch their shots with the pads. I did that for a little while and then one of their best fighters, who I thought was an arrogant asshole, took a cheap shot at me while we were sparring and it pissed me off, so I hit him back and we went at it. I wound up kicking his ass and the rest is history. Preach started training me after that.”
We spend the next few hours talking about my work and Nico’s family. When he finally drives me back home, the early morning people are already out jogging. The whole night flowed effortlessly, without any uncomfortable moments until we’re in front of my apartment building.
Nico parks his bike and helps me off, not releasing my hand when I’m off. He stands close and looks down at me and I think he’s going to kiss me. But instead he leans down until I feel his breath on my neck. My whole body responds and I lean in against him ever so slightly, but it’s enough for my body to be grazing up against his tight chest.
His mouth is so close to my ear, it sends shivers down my spine. I want him to kiss me so badly, but don’t want to want him to kiss me. His words are a whisper in my ear as he speaks. “I’d love to see you again. You let me know when the not really turns into a solid no.”
My body is in heat from being so close to him. I’m disappointed he doesn’t kiss me, but relieved at the same time. He’s right for reminding me about William. Nico releases the hand that he is still holding and I smile up at him before I turn to walk away. I take a few steps away from him and turn back. “Why did you pick me up on a motorcycle if you have an SUV in the garage?”
Nico looks down sheepishly and then I see the cocky lopsided smile that just melts me somehow. “I wanted to feel your arms wrapped around me tightly.”
Right. Damn. Answer. He’d kept his word all night and been a perfect gentleman. I smile at him and begin to turn to walk away, but my feet take me back in the other direction. They seem to have a mind of their own. I need to feel him once more. I rush the four steps it takes me to get back in his space. Nico doesn’t move, he stays still and watches me intently. Waiting. I reach up and press my lips firmly to his and the electricity that had been threatening my body all night zaps to full wattage. Sparks. Fusion. Jolt. It overpowers me. We instantly melt into each other. Nico wraps his arms around my waist, our bodies pressing firmly against each other, neither of us able to get close enough. His arms are locked so tight, there’s no way I could escape if I wanted to. But I definitely don’t want to.
When we finally break the kiss, we’re both panting. Nico leans his forehead into mine and I catch my breath enough to speak. “I wanted to feel your arms wrapped around me tightly, too.”
Nico smiles at my words and I turn to walk away. I really don’t want to walk away, but I know if I don’t, I won’t be able to very soon. I walk up the stairs feeling his eyes on my ass with every step and my hips put on a show as they sway with renewed enthusiasm. I open the door and look back to find him watching me and not ashamed to let me know it. I shut the door and lean against it. What the hell am I doing?
Chapter 7
Nico
I’m up at five a.m. every morning. Well, every morning except today. I slept like shit, my body a mass of pent-up frustration. I kept my word all night. Even though all I wanted to do was pick her up, carry her into my bedroom, and ram myself into her to claim her as mine. Then she kissed me. I know I could have taken it further after that kiss. But I don’t want one night with Elle. I want more. I have no idea why, but I do. A lot fucking more.
By the time I drove back home last night, I’d gotten myself under control. I’d reasoned with my hard-on until it finally saw my way. Who knew you could reason with a fucking hard-on. I guess I never tried. I just took care of it, did what it wanted me to.
But then I walked into my loft and I smelled her. And all reasoning went out the window. I couldn’t sleep with a steel pipe in my pants, so I took a cold shower. It didn’t help. Then I was wide awake with a hard-on. I tossed and turned with a picture of Elle smiling at me in my head. Taunting me for being such a sap.
The constant hum of the bell from downstairs reminds me how late I am. It’s almost six. I buzz the elevator up and lift the gate and find Vinny standing there. I swear the kid grew overnight. At thirteen he’s only a few inches shy of six foot already. The kid’s going to be a force of nature sooner, rather than later.
“What the fuck?” The smartass kid has balls of steel to look at me and talk that way. He reminds me of me at that age, and I force myself to cover the smile. I can’t let him think it’s okay to show disrespect.
“Language.” I say sternly.
He rolls his eyes and looks like a teenager again. “What are you, my mom?”
If I was his mom, I’d still be high from the night before. Cracked up on whatever today’s loser brought with him. A different loser every day, but it’s always the same story. She fucks him to get her high for eight hours. It could be bleach he hands her to shoot into her vein. The last time I saw her she was so desperate, it might have been better if someone actually gave her bleach. Put her out of her misery. The kid might be better off in the long run.
“No, I’m not your mom. But I can kick your ass with one hand behind my back, so show me some respect you little shit.”
“So you can curse, but I can’t?”
“I’m an adult.”
“Hypocrite.”
I rub my hands across my face, losing my patience after my lack of sleep. “Go downstairs and give me five miles on the treadmill. If there is any time left before school we’ll train, big mouth.”
Vinny groans, but quickly starts back toward the elevator. When I started training with Preach, all I wanted to do was learn moves. I hated cardio too, it was punishment to a kid who was in a room with a good trainer.
I take my time making my protein shake and make one for Vinny before I head down to the gym. I know there probably isn’t any food in his house. Some of these kids only stay in school because they know they can get a free meal there.
Vinny is drenched in sweat as he runs full out on the treadmill. I smirk as I pass him. I would have done the same thing. The faster you’re done with the cardio, the faster you get to the fighting.
“Preach says you might fight Kravitz.” Vinny gives me a quick left and I duck and easily sweep out his legs while he attempts to rebalance from his miss.
“You’re leaving yourself exposed. Lean into it. Set up your legs.” I extend my hand and pull Vinny back to his feet.
“So is it true? Are you getting back in the cage?”
“Stop gossiping like a little girl and take me down.” The kid needs to focus. Plus, I don’t have an answer to give him.
Vinny shoots in and tries for a double leg takedown. The kid is definitely becoming more explosive.
“Nose up. Back straight. Again.”
He shoots, I wobble for a second, but I don’t fall. Someday kid. Someday.
After another twenty minutes, he’s drenched and I’m warmed up for the day. “Jump in the showers. Make it fast. You got 25 minutes to get to school. If I find out you’re late, next week will be ten miles on the treadmill and there will be no time for training, no matter how fast you run.”
Vinny groans but sprints to the shower. The kid wants it bad. I just hope it’s bad enough to keep him clean with all the shitstorm swirling around him at home.
“See you Monday, Nico.” Vinny jogs by me with his backpack swung over one shoulder. I nod and he’s gone. Out the door after a thirty seco
nd shower. I smile knowing he’ll make it to school on time. I pick up the phone and call my brother to give him an update on his student. The kid’s lucky my brother has a soft spot for fighters or he’d have had him expelled the last time he found Vinny pounding a kid three years older than him in the stairwell. But instead, he found him a place to channel the fighting he was doing in the halls. Yep, the kid lucked out when they assigned his teachers.
Chapter 8
Elle
“Sal’s deli just called to see how Leonard was feeling. Business must be down with him out for almost a week.” Regina says with a smile as I hand her the menu for our lunch order.
“He’s probably just afraid we’ll sue him for damages after they’ve fed him those deadly sausage and peppers heroes every day for all these years. You know how much fat and cholesterol are in those things?”
“You know who doesn’t look like he eats any fat at all?” Regina wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and speaks in her best sex kitten voice.
“Nice segway. I think you can turn any conversation into something about Nico Hunter lately. You should’ve been a lawyer.” I laugh at Regina’s latest obsession.
“Do you blame me for being smitten?” Smitten, who uses the word smitten?
I sigh, thinking back to our kiss last night. No, I certainly don’t blame Regina for being smitten. I think I agreed to have dinner with Nico so I could find something wrong with him and get his lethal smile out of my head. But last night only made things worse. I didn’t find a single thing to help me push my wayward thoughts out of my head. In fact, I actually found things that made it harder to stop thinking about him.
“Are you going to tell me about your date or do I need to bring you into the conference room for a formal deposition?”
“How come you never ask about my dates with William, Regina?”
“Because I don’t want to be bored.”
“Regina!” I raise my voice chastising her.
“What?” She smiles at me knowing I’m not really mad. It’s an odd friendship, but the part of my relationship with Regina that I value most is that she is so honest when we talk.
“What makes you think my dates with William are boring?”
“Aren’t they?” Regina grins knowingly.
“William is a nice guy.”
“I didn’t say he wasn’t.”
It’s my turn to sigh. Regina is right. My dates with William are boring. Nice, comfortable, but boring. But it’s good for me. I don’t need any emotional rollercoasters, I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime.
***
I don’t leave the office till after ten. I’m handling my caseload and helping out with Leonard’s while he’s still out. I keep myself busy all afternoon and late into the evening after my lunch with Regina. I don’t want to think about Nico. He isn’t what I need. I should be thinking about William. He’s the type of man I should be with. He’s stable, honest, and hard working. He’s good for me and he cares about me. So why are thoughts of Nico keeping me awake? I toss and turn for hours until I’m finally exhausted enough to slip into dreamland.
I wake in the morning to screaming. I’m petrified. Unable to move at the harrowing sound. It takes me almost a full minute to realize that I am the one making the sound. I’m screaming and I can’t stop. The dream is back. It’s not really a dream, it’s a nightmare. Although nightmares are a figment of a person’s imagination, so I guess what I just woke up to wasn’t a nightmare…it was reality. My reality. My memory. My past.
It’s been six years since I woke to the torment that haunted my sleep for as many years. I can’t believe it’s starting again. It took me years to make them go away.
I always wake at the same place in the nightmare. His fist connects with her head and she stumbles back and hits the refrigerator. Hard. Her eyes roll into the back of her head as her body slides down in slow motion. He’s really hurt her this time and it doesn’t look like he’s done with her yet. He leans down, his fist pulled back, ready to pummel her lifeless body. A gunshot blasts. It’s so loud it hurts my head. The sound leaves a high-pitch ringing in my ears. It makes me reach up and cover them. I never knew sound could hurt. I feel like my ears are bleeding.
My hands are always covering my ears when I come to. The sound is so real that it wakes me. Every time is as real as the first time. The vision never dulls.
Chapter 9
Elle
I throw myself into my work to the point of exhaustion for two non-stop days. I think if I wear myself out enough, I’ll be too tired to dream. Whether or not it stops the dreams from coming isn’t important, what’s important is they don’t come for the next few nights so I don’t question why.
My phone buzzes and I reach for it. I’ve lost track of the days.
Dinner tomorrow night? I miss you.
William always confirms our date the day before. But I’m surprised that he adds that he misses me. We don’t talk about feelings. We enjoy each other’s company. We talk about work. We eat at nice restaurants. We have sex. If it wasn’t for the sex part, I would classify what William and I have as a great friendship. But the sex started us down a road to somewhere, although I have no idea where we’re heading. I’m not even sure what William wants out of what we have. We don’t talk about it. We just go through the motions and that worked for me for a long time.
I think I’ve hit a fork in the road and I need to make a decision. Really move forward with William or start in a new direction. I’ve stayed stagnant for too long.
Same time, same place? I know what his response will be before it appears on my screen.
Yes. Looking forward to it.
I’ve set a mental deadline for myself. I’m better under time constraints. Tomorrow night I will either break it off with William or I’ll stop whatever has started with Nico. It just doesn’t feel like the two can be mixed.
Chapter 10
Nico
Our once a month dinner at my brother’s house is always chaotic. There are bodies rolling around the floor, furniture is tossed upside down and the television is blaring, but no one is watching it. Growing up my mom always said she hoped we’d have a houseful of little boys to get even with what we put her through. I look around at the seven little boys my three brothers have spawned and smile, thinking my mom got her wish.
“You want a beer?” Joe, my oldest brother, asks as he waves smoke from his face standing in front of the barbeque. We’ve all told him a hundred times to lower the temperature on the grill so he doesn’t wind up in a smoke cloud that turns into a grill fire, but he’ll never freaking listen.
“Nico doesn’t drink when he trains.” Preach walks up behind me and slaps my shoulder as he speaks.
Joe’s eyebrows shoot up. “Why didn’t you tell me you finally decided to go back in the cage. It’s about time you stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back to work.”
“I haven’t decided to go back in the cage.” I shoot Preach a nasty look and he smirks at me. He knows he’s just unleashed at least an hour of lectures from my brothers and he isn’t sorry a damn bit.
“Oh. You still putting in six days a week?” Joe flips the burgers as he speaks and I see the flames start to shoot higher.
“Yeah.”
“Well then shit or get off the pot, bro.” Joe’s wife Lily walks over and yells at him to turn down the flame and he begrudgingly listens to her.
“It’s not that easy, Joe, and you know it.”
“Sure it is, asswipe. You open the cage door and you get in it. Then you kick the crap out of the idiot standing in the other corner of the ring.”
“Oh, is that all you do? Why didn’t you say so sooner?” The sarcasm dripping from my voice. I chug my water bottle and stare at my brother.
“Maybe I should kick your ass to get you warmed up.” Joe almost sounds like he thinks he really could.
I grin at Lily who walks up behind Joe and hands him a plate for the burgers he’s just massacred for us
. She rolls her eyes at her husband’s threat. “Think that ship sailed a long time ago, honey.”
Joe turns to his wife. “You don’t think I can take that pretty boy anymore?”
Lily pats her husband on the chest, patronizing him. “Sure you can, baby.” Lily turns her attention back to me. “Nico, I have someone at work I’d like you to meet. How about you come over next weekend for a barbeque and I’ll invite her?” Lily looks down at the plate as Joe finishes loading it with charbroiled burgers. “On second thought, I’ll cook.” She winks at me.
Normally I’m open to meeting women. I don’t even ask the typical questions people want answered when they’re offered a fix up. I’ve always been an equal opportunity man, I like them in all shapes and sizes. “Can I get back to you Lil? I sort of met someone.”
Lily is surprised at my response. “You mean you’re seeing someone exclusively?” She emphasizes the word exclusively as if the concept was foreign to me.
“Not yet.”
“Well what’s stopping you?”
“She is.”
“Why don’t you just use your usual seek and conquer charm that you always do?” Lily is only half kidding with her comment.
“Because this one you have to earn.”
Lily shakes her head and mumbles something I can’t hear as she walks away laughing.
“Shit, bro, you’re screwed. The one’s you have to earn own you.”
***
Preach brings up the Kravitz fight at the table again and I endure another half hour of lectures and name calling from my brothers. It’s the first time that I’m seriously considering getting back in the cage in a long time. But Preach pissed me off, rallying my brothers on his side, so I don’t tell him. I’ll let him suffer a little while longer.
Chapter 11
Elle
As I drive to the restaurant to meet William, I regret agreeing to dinner so soon. Two days wasn’t enough time to sort out my head. I’m more confused now than I was a few days ago. I’ve made a mental checklist of reasons I should be with William. He’s every mother’s dream, tall, handsome, polite, smart, well educated, and kind. I even tried to make the same checklist of reasons I shouldn’t be with William, but after hours of trying to come up with something, that side of the page is still empty. At first I thought it was Nico clouding my judgment on William, but then I realized I’ve been at the same place with William since long before Nico Hunter stepped foot inside my office. Maybe I just need to put more effort into whatever it is William and I have.