He'd deceived himself by believing it wouldn’t matter to her… his lie… because he hadn’t wanted to seem less in her eyes. Now he looked worse. Now she questioned everything he said and done.
He had to correct this. He would correct this! Even if it took the rest of his life.
The sound of the cleansing room door opening had Wray standing. He started to move to her side, but the sight of her wearing his House color had him pausing. Goddess, he’d never seen anything more beautiful than his Kim. She wore his House color as if she’d been born for it.
Kim lets her eyes run over Wray as he moved towards her. He had changed while she'd been in the cleansing unit. He was now wearing clean black pants, shiny boots and a shirt the same color as hers, but on him it was stretched tight across his massive shoulders and only managed to cover part of his beautiful chest.
“Kim…” he started to tell her just how beautiful she looked when the outer door opened and Veron strode in. Kim took a startled step back.
“Majesty, I have news…” Veron started.
“Did I give you permission to enter, Captain?!! Wray demanded, hating the way Kim shrunk back in fear.
“I…” Veron gave Wray a surprised look. He had never before needed permission to enter the Emperor’s rooms. Suddenly he saw the small female that the Emperor seemed so enamored with shrinking back in fear. “My apologies, Majesty, I did not realize the female would be with you.”
“Kim.” Wray growled at Veron. “She is not a female, Captain, she is your Empress, and you will address her as such or you will suffer my wrath.”
Kim silently cursed herself for letting fear make her take a step back. Damn it! She wasn't going to be afraid every damn time a male entered the room. She hadn’t been when she was on Earth and while she knew what happened to her would forever change her, she wouldn’t let it rule her. She wasn’t Lucan’s daughters.
About to step forward, Wray's words stopped her and she gave him a shocked look. He’d said that before… that she was his Empress… but she hadn’t really believed him. He couldn’t seriously mean to make her his Empress… could he? She was just Kim Teel… a girl from Earth. One who, until a few weeks ago, hadn’t even known there was life on other planets. One who had never heard of a people called Tornians and now he wanted her to stand at his side and help rule them? Had he lost his mind?
Veron was just as shocked. Wray couldn’t really mean to take a non-Tornian as his Empress… Could he?
What if she couldn’t present offspring?
What if the offspring were unfit?
What would happen to Tora, if she did present a fit male?
It had been hundreds of years since an Emperor had taken a second Empress and that had only been because the first Empress had died before giving him males. If this female was able to present fit males, it could tear House Vasteri apart.
Wray watched the disbelief spread across his friend’s face. He knew what he was thinking. What he was worried about, but he would make this work because he wasn’t going to give up Kim. He would name Tora Emperor first.
“Kim.” Wray turned to her, held out his hand and waited.
Kim just looked at him for a long moment, then suddenly realized what he was wanting. He was asking her, by holding out that hand, to acknowledge that she was his Empress.
Could she?
Could she take that hand when there were still so many unanswered questions between them?
Could she not and live with shaming him in front of one of his warriors?
She knew she could never do it to Wray. No matter what still stood between them, slowly she slipped her hand in his.
Wray wanted to roar when Kim slipped her hand into his. He wanted to ignore Veron and pull Kim into his arms. He knew what it had taken for her to place her hand in his. The courage it had taken, especially with so much still unresolved between them, but she had done it and it gave him hope. Hope that she could still forgive him and accept him as her male.
“Kim,” Wray pulled her close as he turned back to Veron, “this is Captain Veron. He is not only one of my Captains but he also a trusted advisor and friend.”
“Captain.” Kim acknowledged the male, giving him a slight nod. She didn’t realize how regal she looked to him, standing there in the Emperor’s shirt. She was an Empress.
“Veron, I present to you my Empress, Kim Teel. She is the only female I have ever loved and the only one I will never give up.”
“M... Majesty.” Veron stuttered, trying to hide his shock. Males were never allowed to directly address another male’s female, not even the Empress. For Wray to allow him to do so was a great honor. Putting an arm across his chest, he bowed.
“You said you had news.” Wray said, pulling Veron’s attention back to him.
“Yes, sire,” Veron instantly came to attention. “General Rayner has found evidence that the Zaludians have been illegally mining on Pontus.”
“Which would explain why they wanted the Jerboaians.”
“Yes, sire, and why they would come to aid of the Ganglians, if they were supplying them with miners.”
“Rayner will be staying to investigate?”
“Yes, Majesty.”
“Good, notify him that I want to be kept informed. This is now a personal matter that concerns the Emperor.”
“Yes, Majesty.”
Wray was about to continue when Kim’s stomach growled softly reminding him that he had yet to feed her. “That’s all for now, Captain. Set a course for Vesta.”
“Yes, Majesty.” With an arm across his chest, Veron bowed and left the room.
Following Veron, Wray pressed several buttons on the control panel next to the door then turned back to her. “The door is now sealed, Kim, no one will be able to enter without permission.”
“Thank you.” She said softly.
“There is no need to thank me. It is my greatest honor to protect you. Come,” he said leading her to the table. “I had food brought for you.”
Kim sat down in the chair Wray had pulled out for her and looked at the overflowing platters of food before her. Nothing looked familiar and she started to wish she had a nutrient bar, at least then she would know how it tasted. Taking a deep breath, she reached for what might be a strip of bacon.
“That is a rashtar.” He told her, watching as she took a small bite and chewed.
“It’s not bad.” She said. “It kind of tastes like bacon on Earth.”
“Is that good?” Wray asked.
“Yes. I like bacon. What is that?” she asked, pointing to a small roundish purple thing with black specks on it. It reminded her of a plum, well a weird looking plum.
“That is called mansikka, it is sweet and juicy.”
Taking a small bite Kim hummed her enjoyment, surprised to find it tasted like a strawberry, her favorite fruit.
“You like the mansikka.” Wray said, stating the obvious.
“Very much.” She said, popping the rest of it in her mouth.
“I will make sure you always have it.”
Sitting back Kim watched him silently for several seconds and found she wanted answers more than food. “Why lie, Wray?” she asked quietly.
Wray sucked in a sharp breath. She had caught him off guard. He had hoped he would have more time to figure out the best way to explain it to her. He should have known better. His Kim faced things head on. She was strong and brave and he needed to be just as brave to tell her the truth.
“I lied to you because I wanted to know how you would react to me.” He said watching her expression closely.
“I don’t understand.” Kim said, frowning slightly.
“I’ve told you how Tornian males attract a female, Kim.”
“By what they can give them.”
“Yes. There are fit and worthy males that work their entire lives and never attract a female.”
“Like your brother, Grim.”
“Yes, like Grim. I never had to.” Wray had to force hims
elf not to look away from her as he admitted his shame.
“What?" Kim's frown grew. "I don’t understand. Never had to what?”
“Try to attract a female.” He told her shortly. “I never had to concern myself with it. I never had to be concerned that my line might end… because I was the Emperor. I could be severely scarred like Grim and a female would still Join with me… because I am the Emperor.”
“You were treated differently.” Kim finally understood. "Because of your position."
“Yes.” He admitted grudgingly, “Everyone has always known who I was… what I was… you didn’t… and I wanted to know…”
“What it would feel like to be treated just like every other male.” She finished softly.
“Yes," Wray nodded, "so I took advantage of your ignorance and lied. I’m sorry, Kim.”
Kim rose from the table and started to pace, thinking about what Wray had told her. All her life she had felt like she’d lived in her sister’s shadow. Yes, her parents had loved her, but everything she had ever done had been compared against Jen, never just accepted. Now Wray was telling her he had felt the same way, only the shadow that he lived in was that of the Emperor, a position, not a person.
Which was worse? To never live up to an ideal person or the ideal itself? Turning, she looked at Wray. Could she really blame him for wanting, for just once, to be treated like everyone else?
“So how did it feel, Wray?” she asked softly, sitting on the edge of the couch.
“Wonderful… Terrible…. Amazing… Frustrating…” He ground out.
“Really,” Kim found her lips twitching. “All that.”
“Yes.” Wray stood and slowly moved towards her. “You talked to me, Kim. To me, not to the Emperor and that confused me. You even yelled at me a few times.” She saw the astonishment cross his face. “No one has ever yelled at me before and while that frustrated me, I found I liked it. You treated me as if I mattered, as if I were a worthy male because I was Wray… and that was amazing.”
“You are worthy, Wray.” Kim found she didn’t like him doubting it. “You saved me from the Ganglians. You! Not the Emperor. ‘Emperor’ is just a title. It means nothing if the male holding it isn’t fit and worthy… and you are, Wray.”
“You truly believe that, Kim?" Wray asked hesitantly sitting down next to her. "Even after I lied to you.”
“I do, but,” she said, stopping him before he could pull her into his arms, “that doesn’t mean you're off the hook."
"Off the hook..." Wray frowned, not understanding her words.
"It means I'm still upset with you. You had more than enough time in the cave to tell me the truth.”
“I know.” He admitted, bowing his head slightly. “I was about to when the locator went off.”
“Is that all of it, Wray?” Kim asked giving him a hard look. “Is there something else you’ve lied about?”
“No, Kim, my vow. If I could go back, I would change it. I know now it wouldn’t have mattered to you, but I didn’t then.”
Kim silently studied him for several minutes. “Never again, Wray. I won't survive it if you do. I need to be able to trust you, to believe in you, if I can’t…”
“You can, Kim," he lifted a gentle hand to cup her cheek. "My vow. I will never lie to you again.”
Kim’s eyes continued to search his and saw the truth in his eyes. “Okay.” She said and covered his hand with hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Wray thanked the Goddess for her blessings as he lifted Kim into his arms and settled her across his lap. “I vow I will always tell you truth, Kim. I love you. I can’t imagine spending even a moment of my life without you.” He whispered into her hair.
“I love you too.” She replied nestled deeper into his arms, the one place where she always felt safe. “Wray?”
“What, my Kim?”
“You wouldn’t really have done it, would you?” she asked, tipping her head up to look at him.
“Done what?” Wray asked his lips grazing her temples.
“Refused to send the food shipments to the Kaliszians.”
“Yes, I would have.” He told her bluntly.
“Wray!” Kim pushed against his chest but was only able to move back as far as he allowed, his arms tightened around her to hold her in place.
“I am telling you the truth, Kim," he said, his eyes refusing to let her look away, "just as I vowed I would. I will let nothing separate us. Will let no one take you from me. It would destroy me.”
Kim opened her mouth to argue, then shut it finding she couldn’t. He’d done what she’d asked him to do. He’d told her the truth, that she didn’t like it wasn’t the point.
“I… alright, but I think you were being a little extreme, but I won’t let anyone or anything separate us either." Rubbing her hands over his shirt, she found herself frowning again.
"What is wrong, Kim?" Wray asked, concerned.
"Nothing, I just think I like it better when I’m the only one wearing a shirt." Her eyes moved to his as her hands slipped under the material to touch his skin. “I liked touching you.”
"Goddess, Kim." Groaning, Wray sank his fingers into her hair and tipped her face up so his lips could capture hers.
Kim’s fingers gripped Wray’s shoulders as she sunk into the kiss, letting its healing balm ease all the hurts and misunderstandings of the day. This was what mattered. Her and Wray. The rest they would figure out... together...
"I want you, Wray." Kim whispered against his lips. "I want to Join with you." Looking into his eyes, she saw them flare with desire and need.
"Are you sure, my Kim?" He asked gruffly, knowing he would be unable to stop this time. He wanted her too badly.
"I am but there's one thing I have to do first," she said and twisted so she was straddling him.
“What could you possibly need to do?” Wray questioned, groaning at the feel of her heat against his growing shaft.
“I need to apologize, Wray.” She told him, feeling the stiffness of his shaft.
“What?” Wray pulled back slightly. Nothing she could have said would have shocked him more. Females didn’t apologize, at least Tornian females didn’t.
“I said terrible things to you in the cave, things that weren’t true. I tend to do that when I’m upset. I speak without thinking. I did it with Jen and I did it again with you saying you deserved what the Goddess had done to you and your people.”
“We do, Kim.”
“No, you don’t. Especially not you, Wray, you are nothing like Lucan.” Framing his face with her hands, she refused to let him look away from her. “I know who you are, Wray. Lucan chose to abuse his females. He knew it broke the law and didn’t care, thought it didn’t apply to him. The Ganglian and Kaliszian chose to ignore what he was doing. They chose to ignore the law.” Kim had to take a deep breath to continue.
“You didn’t ignore the law, Wray. You could have killed Fala and Gyula for attacking me. No one would have stopped you. I wanted you to,” Kim was ashamed to admit that, “and I would have been wrong because while what they did was wrong, they didn’t break the law and you knew that.”
“Kim….”
“Let me finish.” She waited until he nodded to continue. “I know you will fix the law, Wray. Not because of me, but because you are a fit and worthy male that never wants any female to suffer as Lucan’s females did. I may not always like your decisions, Wray, but someone has to make the hard choices and I’m proud to know that you will be that person because I believe in you. You truly care and want to make things right for your people.”
“Goddess, Kim.” Wray dropped his head into the crook of her neck, overwhelmed by her belief in him. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”
Kim lifted his head from her shoulder, making sure he saw the truth in her eyes. “You exist, Wray, and that’s more than enough.”
Wray felt his eyes fill with moisture at Kim’s words. Goddess, had a male ever been so loved? Had he ever bee
n told that merely existing was enough to deserve love? He didn’t know, but he knew that he would never do anything to lose it.
“I exist for you, Kim. You make me deserving. Only you.” Sliding his arms under her delectable ass, Wray stood and carried her into their resting chamber.
Kim gazed up at Wray as he slowly lowered her onto the bed, her arms and legs had wrapped around him as he had carried her, keeping him close. Her lips planting little kisses over his chest. She wanted him close, needed to feel him against her and she saw he felt the same way. That this incredibly strong male could need her humbled Kim.
Wray’s chest pressed against Kim’s breasts as he laid her gently on the bed, his elbows on either side of her kept him from crushing her. Her long beautiful hair framed her pale skin in a blanket of dark fire. Her emerald eyes were filled with desire and need. Leaning down, he captured her lush lips fulfilling that need.
‘How could he have ever Joined with a female before without kissing?’ He thought.
Kissing had become a natural extension of his feelings for Kim now, just as touching her was. It drove his desire higher. Drove her desire higher and that made pleasuring her more important than attaining his own and he intended on giving her a great deal of pleasure.
Wrapping his tongue around hers, he sucked it into his mouth and tasted the sweet mansikka fruit she had just eaten. He knew he would never eat it again and not think about this moment.
Ignoring her protest, he forced himself away from her flavorful mouth and blazed a trail along her neck, nipping at the pounding pulse he found at its base before swiping away the small hurt with his tongue.
“Wray…” Kim sunk her fingers into his hair trying to bring his mouth back to hers. She wanted his kisses, wanted everything and ground her hips against his, begging for it. “Please.”
“No little one.” He told her and braced his hips against the bed, using his abs to separate their bodies. “I want to see all of you.” His hands went to her shirt. “I want to pleasure every part of you, then we will Join.” He told her and gripped the hands that reached for him and placed them on either side of her head. “They stay here.” He ordered his eyes refusing to leave hers until she finally nodded her agreement.