She stopped halfway down the hall and motioned into a bedroom. “Here’s one; one of you can take this one, and then the other one’s right next door. I’m guessing Jill will want that one.” She smiled at Jill a little. “I kind of think she designed it for you, in case you ever came to visit.” Jill’s eyes widened. “You guys have this wing all to yourselves. Go ahead and get unpacked and changed, and then you can come down and find us in the office. Just follow the foyer all the way to the back, and it’s off to the right.”
“Thanks,” Todd said, then peered into the first room. Jill stood on her tiptoes and tried to look over his shoulder, even though she was dying to go see the one her mom had said she’d want. This room had light blue carpet and a big double bed set back against the wall. The bed had a large wooden headboard, and huge windows covered the wall on the side of the room opposite the door. There was a large TV across from the bed, and two doors, one probably the closet, and the other a bathroom?
Jill turned and eagerly went to check out the other bedroom. When she saw it, she gasped in delight. The carpet was lavender, and a huge princess bed with a shiny silver headboard and dark purple comforter beckoned welcomingly. This room also had a TV and two doors, as well as the wall of windows.
Jill squealed. “This one’s mine!” she yelled to Todd, then rushed over to look out the windows. “Oh my gosh, Todd, look out your window!” Straight below Jill a crystal clear pool sparkled in the sun. It was twice as large as the Sherers’ pool and had a wide deck with several cushioned lounge chairs.
Jill ran back into Todd’s room. “Did you see that?”
“Yeah, that’s awesome. Your aunt was freakin’ rich.”
“I know. I knew she was, but I had no idea.” As Jill said it, she got the weird feeling of being in a place that had belonged to someone who was no longer alive. Even though she’d never been here when Aunt Marcy lived here, the void of her presence was overwhelming. It was a spooky feeling, so Jill tried to push it away. She wondered if Aunt Marcy had really designed that room for her.
“I’m gonna go change,” she said quickly, then turned and went back to her own room.
***
The rest of the day passed quickly. The long drive the night before, the long wait at Chicago’s O’Hare airport, the plane ride, the sun, and the fact that it was a couple hours later at home had completely wiped Jill out, and after her family and Todd gathered in the spacious, airy kitchen that perfectly fit with the atmosphere of the rest of the house and ate takeout, Jill was ready to go upstairs and pass out in that comfy-looking bed.
Todd followed her upstairs. “So, are you doing all right?” he asked outside their rooms. He looked unsure of himself, as if he didn’t know whether he should ask or not.
“Yeah, I am so far. Thanks, Todd. And thanks again so much for coming. I’m so glad you’re here, ‘cause I think otherwise it’d be a lot worse.”
Todd gave her a small smile and lightly hit her arm. “I’m glad you’re doing okay. All right, well, I guess I’ll see ya in the morning.”
“Okay, night.” Jill wanted to hug him; he looked so cute in his baggy T-shirt and shorts, and she felt so close to him right now, but she was afraid he’d think it was weird or something. She hesitated a moment, then smiled at him and turned and went into her room.
***
The viewing on Thursday night was a sobering experience. Wednesday and most of Thursday had been the same as Tuesday, with Jill and Todd hanging out at the pool to stay out of everyone’s way, or taking care of Aaron and Winnie when they fought or got bored watching TV and movies from the vast selection Mrs. Sherer had thought to bring along. Jill and Todd had spent a couple hours Wednesday afternoon exploring the whole house and playing hide and seek with Aaron and Winnie, and it had been so cool. The house had a back stairway leading all the way up to the third floor from a pantry off the kitchen, and Jill thought it was so fun to imagine this house a hundred years ago and the people who lived in it then, back when that stairway would’ve been used. The bedrooms on the third floor were quite a bit smaller, and Jill felt like she was walking through history. She wondered how long the house had really been here…if it was really that old, or just built to look like it. She liked to believe it had really been here that long. She wondered about the lives and secrets of the people who had lived here.
For the viewing, Jill wore a short black skirt and dark blue short-sleeved shirt. Todd wore black dress pants and a white dress shirt, and Jill thought he looked unbelievable. She’d never seen him this dressed up before. She loved the contrast of his dressy clothes and his long surfer hair. He fit right in in California, she realized.
For the first part of the viewing, Jill stood in line with her parents and grandparents to greet guests, but her feet started to hurt, and she didn’t really know anyone, so her mom finally suggested she and Todd take a break and go sit in the coat room.
“I’m so sorry,” Jill said as they plopped down. “You’re probably so bored, and you don’t even know anybody. I don’t even know anybody.”
“It’s all right. Whatever. How are you doing?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“Was it weird, like...seeing her?” Todd was referring to when Jill had gone up to the open casket with the rest of her family.
“Kind of. I guess. I mean, I don’t know...I feel really bad. ‘Cause I feel like I’m not as sad about this as I should be. I mean, I cried when I first found out, but it’s like now that I’m here, I can’t make myself feel that much emotion about it, and I feel like I should.” She looked at him doubtfully, hoping he could explain somehow.
Todd shrugged and made a face to show he had no idea. “I don’t know, Jilly, I never have even been to a funeral before. But I wouldn’t feel bad about it. I mean, you haven’t even seen her for six years. And you did cry when you first heard, so you’re probably just done crying. I mean, it’s weird ‘cause it’s death and all, but I don’t think you should still feel like you have to cry about it. No one’s expecting that of you.”
“Do you think?” Even though he really had no idea either, what he’d said made her feel better. “I feel like I should fake feeling really sad or crying or something so people won’t think I’m horrible.”
“Nah, you don’t need to do that. I mean, they should understand. Plus, they’re all wrapped up in their own thoughts about it and stuff; I doubt they even really notice you.”
“That’s true. Thanks.” Jill offered him a small smile.
“Well, I don’t know if I really helped that much, but no prob.” Todd flashed her his normal goofy, teasing smile, and Jill grinned back. It felt so good to see him smile at her just like he would back at home, if they were at school or at Landon’s. For the last three days she’d been so wrapped up in this situation she hadn’t even thought about things back at home.
“So Hilton said Landon’s having a party Saturday night,” she said. “I guess it’s his birthday, and Brady’s was like Monday, so it’s like a joint party. I wish we could go.” She frowned. They were scheduled to fly out Sunday morning. “I don’t know why my grandparents didn’t have us fly back Saturday.” Suddenly all she wanted was to be back in her normal life, going to Landon’s and enjoying the summer like she’d been doing four days ago.
“Oh well,” Todd said. “It’s all right. There’ll be plenty more.”
“Yeah,” Jill said. Even though she had to miss Landon’s party, at least she’d be with Todd! She wondered if he was bored here yet, or wishing he hadn’t come. He wasn’t acting like it, but of course he’d probably rather go to Landon’s than be stuck here with her. He was probably wondering what he’d been thinking when he got himself into this. “Thanks again for coming,” she said. “I know you’re probably like, ‘I wish I would’ve stayed home; this totally sucks.’ ”
“Come on, Jilly. I said I wanted to come, didn’t I? It was my idea.” He reached out and put his arm around her, playfully pulling her head down on his shoulder. “Don
’t feel so bad about it. You act like I made a huge sacrifice or something. Don’t you know I’d rather be here with you than at home partying? I’d be worried about you anyways.”
Jill’s heart soared. She couldn’t believe he’d just said he would rather be here with her than at home partying and having a good time with his friends. That had to mean he liked her, didn’t it? At least a little? All she knew was she’d never felt closer to him than she did this week.
We’d make such a perfect couple! she thought. He’s so perfect for me...we have to get together. It was so easy to pretend he was her boyfriend while they were here, at least in front of other people. She loved showing him off and just being near him at the viewing, and she hoped everyone was impressed and thought they made a cute couple. But she could barely stand the fact that it wasn’t real, and she was already starting to worry about going back and losing this feeling and this closeness she had with him here. Suddenly she was no longer as excited to get back to her normal life.
“Aww, thanks, Todd,” she said, trying not to let him see how much his comment had affected her.
“Yeppers. You know I love you, Jilly.” Todd ruffled her hair, then leaned over and playfully kissed the top of her head.
Jill closed her eyes for a moment, surprised and now floating even higher than she had been before. This felt so right...
***
The next day at the funeral, Jill and Todd sat in the third row behind her parents and Aaron and Winnie. Todd felt awkward and a little nervous. He’d never been to a funeral before, and it was kind of creepy.
When Jill’s grandma went up to give a eulogy and spoke about how Marcy was one of the most positive and enthusiastic people she’d ever known and the best sister she could’ve ever had, Todd noticed that a tear trickled down Jill’s face. She didn’t make a move to wipe it away.
“There are so many things I regret,” Jill’s grandma was saying. “We had a fight six years ago, and we lost contact. That was the worst thing I could’ve done; it was so hard to see the big picture then. But now I can’t believe I let a stupid little fight keep us separated for all these years.” She was crying too. “But I know she still loved me, and I always loved her too. So please, please, don’t let hurt feelings hold you back from your loved ones. Make an effort to repair those relationships, because it’s one of the most important things in life, being close to your family.” She lowered her head in tears, then wiped her eyes and slowly returned to her seat in the front row.
Todd looked over at Jill and saw tears streaming down her face. He hesitated, then took her hand and held it awkwardly.
She automatically intertwined her fingers with his as their hands rested on her lap, then looked at him through her tears. He understood that she didn’t have any words, and he squeezed her hand tightly in empathy.
Later, as they were leaving the church, an elderly woman stopped to talk to Jill’s family. As she moved past them, she stopped in front of Jill and Todd and gazed sympathetically at Jill’s tear-streaked face. “Oh, honey, it’s hard to lose somebody, isn’t it?” Then she turned to Todd. “I’m so glad to see you here, sweetheart. It’s so wonderful to see such a caring relationship at such a young age. I wish more young people had that. You’re a nice boy, I can tell. I bet she’s glad she has a boyfriend like you.” The woman winked at Jill.
“Oh,” Todd said, surprised at the mistake. He hadn’t even thought of the possibility of people mistaking him for Jill’s boyfriend. He looked at Jill, who quickly removed her hand from his arm and gave the woman a small smile. He could tell she was embarrassed. “Thanks,” he added, and the woman smiled, then turned and walked away.
“Sorry,” Jill said with an uncomfortable laugh.
“It’s okay.” Todd frowned to himself. It was okay, he decided. He’d never thought of people seeing the two of them that way, but now he realized it probably did appear they were a couple. But he didn’t mind. Jill was probably his best friend besides Bennett or Dirk, so it was cool if people thought she was his girlfriend.
“Come on, honey,” he said jokingly, looping his arm tightly around her neck and grinning down at her. “We’d best be going along now.”
Jill giggled, although her eyes were still puffy from crying, and smacked him lightly in the chest.
“Aww, are you still upset? Here, come on, it’ll be okay, just walk with me.” His voice was quiet. “Or better yet, give me a hug, baby.” He grabbed her around the waist, his facial expression completely serious for the benefit of everyone around them, and pulled her close. “Sshh, sshh, it’s okay, babe.” He pressed her face into his shoulder and stroked her shiny brown hair.
Jill giggled into his shoulder. “Thanks for all your support, honey,” she whispered sarcastically, then looked up at him. Todd smiled down at her, still trying to appear serious, but he could tell by her mocking look that she saw the twinkle in his eyes.
“Do you need a kiss from Todd to make you feel all better?” He leaned in quickly, knowing she wouldn’t know what to do, because if she slapped him away, it would draw everyone’s attention. He loved teasing her like this; a couple times before he’d acted like he was going to kiss her, and she’d looked so freaked out it’d been hilarious.
Jill leaned back slightly and turned her head. Todd caught the corner of her mouth and gave her a small peck.
“There, all better now?”
Jill widened her eyes at him. “Todd!” she hissed. “What are you doing?” She glanced around to see if anyone had noticed.
“You’re the one making it look weird,” he grinned. “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend and you’re leaning away when I try to kiss you? Jeez, thanks a lot.”
Jill rolled her eyes at him and grabbed his arm, laughing a little. “Come on, let’s go, you dork.”
Todd grinned to himself as he walked beside her to the white SUV where her parents were waiting. This could be hilarious, pretending to be her boyfriend. There was all kinds of stuff he could think of to do that would embarrass her.
***
Late that afternoon after the burial, Jill’s grandparents hosted a dinner at Marcy’s house for several close friends. During the meal, someone asked Jill how she and Todd had met.
“Oh, we met in English class last year,” she said.
“How long have you two been together?”
“Almost since we met,” Todd cut in before Jill could answer. “She was pretty much obsessed with me from the beginning, so finally I agreed to go out with her once just to get her to leave me alone, but then she blackmailed me into going out with her again. But I guess she’s all right. I kinda like her now.” He grinned evilly in Jill’s direction.
Jill’s mouth dropped open. She kicked him under the table, then looked helplessly at the woman who had asked the question. The woman was smiling.
“That’s adorable,” she said. “Although we all know it was probably the other way around.” She winked at Jill, who was still staring, dumbfounded.
Finally Jill managed a small smile back. “Yeah, it was definitely the other way,” she said, raising her eyebrows sassily at Todd. “He begged me to go out with him for a month before I agreed.”
***
Later, just as Jill was snuggling under the covers in the big princess bed, the door to her room flew open and Todd lunged across the room, jumping on top of her.
She shrieked. “Todd! What the hell are you doing?” She tried to shove him off. “Get off me!”
Todd laughed, then held his index finger up to his lips. “Sssshhh, don’t you know to be quiet when your boyfriend sneaks into your room late at night?” Then he grinned and rolled off her, lying on his side on top of the comforter and propping his head up on his hand. “Seriously though, I just wanted to check and make sure you were doing okay, after today and all.”
Jill was silent a moment, still trying to get her heart to slow down. When Todd had jumped on top of her it had raced at such a great speed she was afraid he could hear it beat
ing against him. “Um, yeah, I’m actually doing all right, I think. Except for the fact that you just scared the shit out of me!” She laughed, still a little shaken...but more from his body against hers than from being frightened by his sudden entrance.
“So you’re really okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Damn, Jill, I honestly think you handled this whole thing really well,” he said. “I probably won’t even handle my parents’ divorce this well.”
“Do you really think they’ll get divorced?” Jill asked, surprised.
“Hell, I don’t know. I don’t know anything about them anymore. It’s way fuckin’ over my head.” His tone carried a touch of bitterness.
“Aww, try not to worry too much about it now. You don’t even know what’ll happen. It could all turn out great. They could stay together and be happier than ever.” With him lying next to her on the bed, she was reminded of the hotel room at Cedar Point. Barely over two weeks ago, and so much had happened since then.
“Yeah, maybe, but probably not.” Now his tone was more bummed than bitter.
Jill sat up and leaned over to hug him, suddenly bold. “It’ll be okay, Todd.”
“I know. Let’s do something.”
“What?”
“Like go out somewhere. We’re in California, and we haven’t even done any sightseeing or anything.”
“Where are we gonna go? My parents are in bed; they won’t take us anywhere right now.”
“We’ll call a cab.”
“Are you serious?” Jill had thought he was joking, but now she felt excitement rising. She realized she wanted to go badly.
“Hell, yeah. Let’s go.”
“Okay! Let’s do it.”
“Really?” Todd looked at her, surprised. “I’m impressed. You usually don’t wanna do anything like this.”
I do when I’m with you, Jill thought, saying aloud, “Well, I do tonight.”
“All right, it’s on! There’s a phonebook in my room. What’s the address here? I’ll go call a cab while you get ready.”
She told him, and he bounded off the bed and out of the room. Jill stared after him for a moment. This is awesome! she thought. I’m sneaking out with him! She couldn’t wait to tell Hilton and Lorylyn. She eagerly bounced off the bed and hurried to the dresser to find something to wear.