I swallow hard, as images of us together in that tent begin filling my head, and I want to kiss him so badly. Suddenly, I'm aware of tiny sparks of electric current charging my skin, raising the tiny hairs on my arms. I can't bear standing so close to him. Desire slowly starts building in the pit of my stomach, spreading to every nook and cranny of my body.
"You need stop touching me Jorgen, right now," I blurt out and he pulls his hand away.
Seconds later, I disappear into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, breathing hard for several long moments. I slide down the door, sitting on my butt and hide my face in my hands, trying to calm my pounding heart, but nothing’s helping. Once I can stand again, I open the tap and splash some cold water over my face. I can sense Jorgen standing by the door, listening in probably making sure I'm all right.
I can't let this keep happening and he should know that I can't control myself when he’s showing me so much affection. We need to locate the druid, otherwise I might end up going through heat in the forest or in some old, obscure tavern. My clothes are stinking, so I remove everything, aware that my body’s pretty much on fire. I start running cold water and just get into the shower. It's torture but my hormones are raging, and I can almost feel the steam slowly evaporating from my skin. At least the cold water brings some sort of relief.
By the time I leave the shower and grab a towel, I realise that I didn't bring any clean clothes with me to the bathroom. That means, I now have to parade in front of a thirty-something year old man wearing only a towel–this is just great. I keep standing by the door, wondering what to do. I just have to calm down and walk a few meters to my rucksack by the door, because I don't want him to start rummaging through my personal belongings. Jorgen chose me, and sooner or later he’s going to be my mate, but I tell myself that's not the point and he doesn’t need to see me half naked. We’re supposed to avoid any physical contact for now, at least until I'm ready. If only my stupid body and hormones would stop betraying me…
Water’s dripping off of me when I open the door and leave the bathroom. Jorgen’s sitting on the bed, looking through some leaflets from the dressing table.
Then he lifts his gaze toward me and everything falls to pieces, the clothes in the rucksack are long forgotten. I want to be in his arms, because raw desire ravages my naked body.
"Astri, I'm sorry but I can't bear not being able to kiss you," he says, all of a sudden appearing right in front of me and I catch a waft of his sexy scent. I try to reason with myself, already turned on. Jorgen’s older and he should know that this is a very bad idea, but despite that he leans over and kisses me softly. It's nothing, just an innocent kiss between two people and yet it sets me off. All my self-control is crushed into a million different pieces.
"Oh, to the hell with the rules," I snap and then I wrap my arms around Jorgen's neck and kiss him hard, deeper than I thought I ever could, and his lips taste divine. Soaring heat rushes through my veins, and blood starts pounding in my ears.
He responds and my towel falls to the floor. He deepens the kiss, touching by body everywhere, and I moan loudly into his mouth, feeling alive and so ready to take this to the next level. His fingers are hovering over my bare skin, slightly caressing my breasts causing vibrations deep inside my core. I'm half drowsy and half aware that this needs to stop when I push him towards the bed.
Moments later, I'm sitting on top of him and his tongue’s exploring my breasts. I arch my head backwards, allowing him easy access, urging him to take my hard nipples into his mouth. A wave of heat and power flows through the room, blowing hair back from my face. Jorgen’s wearing too many layers of clothing, and I want him naked–skin to skin. The throbbing between my legs is unbearable and I need to have him inside of me now. There’s something so primal and needy in the way he’s touching me.
We start rolling on the bed, while my instinct takes full control of my body. I know it and I start ripping his shirt, as buttons fly across the bed, then my hands explore his muscular chest. He continues to caress my breasts, but I want more. I need to ease the fire that keeps brewing deep inside of me. I urge him to bring his hands further down my stomach, to touch the drenched opening between my legs.
"Astri … Astri, let's slow this down," his voice barely reaches me, but I don't want to listen. I need him to fill me with his hard erection, his beast. There’s nothing that can stop me now. I keep trying to take off his shirt, panting for air, and pushing his hands downward.
"No, you need to make love to me right now. I want this, don't try to take this away from me," I plead, but this doesn't sound like me and right now, it doesn't matter. I lower myself down and start kissing his chest, moaning and panting louder. He hesitates too long, and I can't bear when he leaves me hanging–aroused and drenched with desire.
I laugh, then continue kissing him like my world’s gone crazy, but then he grabs my wrists and pushes me away, clenching his jaw. I see his diamond blue eyes, but nothing else matters–my whole body’s on fire. My thoughts are racing away and I can't bring myself to remember that I'm not supposed to be touching him at all. It's too hot in this room, as sweat drips down my skin, and if he just moves to the …
"Astri, you're not ready … I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry, it's all my fault, and I don't want you to regret anything later," he says, but his words aren't making much sense. Heat spills from my pores down my neck and a drop of sweat glides between my naked breasts. I feel so drunk on lust that I can't think straight.
"No, no, I'm ready … more than ready. Please Jorgen, I want to have you inside of me," I sing, then giggle like I’ve truly lost my mind, and nothing’s going to stop me from satisfying my sexual urges.
Jorgen pushes me away and jumps off the bed. I try to get up too, but everything feels heavy, my knees turn to jelly and darkness shades my vision. Moments later, It feels like someone’s splashing cold water all over me, telling me that I need to calm down, that everything will be all right. I keep taking long pulls of air, feeling disorientated and lost when he finally pulls me away from the sink.
"I'm fine now, in control again," I mumble as he still holds me closely in his arms. I keep breathing, while blood keeps pounding in my ears. Then Jorgen gets up and covers me with blankets, and I exhale with relief.
"It's all right Astri, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have made a move. I should’ve known better. Your hormones took over and you lost control," he tells me, and I want to vanish underground. I’ve never felt so ashamed of myself. I nearly forced him to have sex with me.
This is crazy and I just want to go back to being the normal Astri, and not the crazy one that Jorgen might be afraid of.
"I never expected that I would be like this, I hate being this other Astri," I say, not even understanding why I haven't gone through heat season sooner, like everyone else. Then I wouldn't have to worry about it. It has to be because of my human genes…
What a disaster.
"If it makes you feel any better, I nearly jumped off a mountain chasing after a girl that I liked when I was in heat," he explains and I laugh, not believing him.
"No way, you're only saying that because you want me to feel better. You wouldn't have jumped over a cliff," I say.
"It's the honest truth. I went crazy and some friends had to restrain me. I don't even want to remember it, but I was humiliated afterwards," he assures me and I keep shaking my head, still not believing him. We don't say anything else for a little while, embracing one another, and enjoying the closeness. I wish that this whole thing could be easier.
"Maybe we should try to get some sleep, it been a long night," I suggest after some time.
Jorgen nods, and I quickly disappear into the bathroom to put some clothes on. We don't need to wind each other up anymore. I slip under the covers, next to Jorgen five minutes later, feeling a bit more relaxed. He quickly wraps his arms around me and we spoon. I keep telling myself that this is normal; this is what couples do when they’re alone together.
Everything’s perfect now and I just need to find the courage to tell him the truth. Lies are going to push us apart, and he needs to know that I'm the reason that he lost his dragon, before I can allow him to become my mate. It’s only fair. The silence starts buzzing in my ears, as I listen to Jorgen's calm breathing.
"Jorgen," I start talking, knowing that I won't have a better opportunity. Things are good between us, and he should understand that I simply made a terrible mistake.
"Astri, you're the most beautiful creature that I’ve ever seen, and I told you before–the scar doesn't matter to me. You can't even imagine how much I desire you, but earlier on it didn't feel right and I just couldn't take advantage of you."
He snuggles into me and I don't respond, knowing that he feels bad about what happened earlier. I realise that I never want to be with anyone else. Jorgen’s prefect, kind and he’ll look after me.
Jorgen knew that I wanted him dead when I thought that he was the one who killed my parents. He should understand that I was motivated by revenge, and I would’ve made a different decision if I knew the truth.
"I’ve done something terrible, made a huge mistake and you’ll hate me for it," I continue, feeling his warm breath on the nape of my neck. He doesn't respond and that gives me the confidence I need to keep going. "You know that night in the Decaying Mountains when you were going through the cutting of the mage; I was there Jorgen, I stood by and watched when Bratlav ripped your beast away from you and did nothing to stop him."
His silence answers me and I keep breathing, waiting for him to react, to say something, anything. My heart keeps thumping loudly in my chest. He should be at least angry with me, or disappointed. Yes, I can deal with disappointment.
Then I hear snoring, so I quickly turn around, seeing that he’s fallen asleep. He didn't hear anything that I said, so my confession was all for nothing.
I keep staring at him, wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I’ll just have to tell him again tomorrow morning before we set off to find the druid.
We’re together now and he’s committed to me. I know that he isn't the sort of man that would leave me when I need him the most. He wouldn't be that cruel. After all that we’ve been through, he must realise that I’ve been trying so hard to fix my terrible mistake. The druid and the real dragon venom can reverse the ritual and we’re so close to reaching him.
Edvard was wrong about him; Jorgen would never do anything to hurt me. We trust each other and we’re destined to be together.
"Goodnight Jorgen, I hope you’ll forgive me tomorrow," I tell him and as soon as I close my eyes, I drift off into the world of dreams, where everything is simple and easy.
Chapter Fifteen
The payment.
I wake me up several hours later, and for a moment I have no idea where I am. Then I notice Jorgen stretching next to me and everything comes back. Rays of sunshine are beaming into the room, and I instantly feel calmer. It looks like the weather’s on our side today.
"It's only three pm; we should go out and ask around about the druid. Someone in this little town’s bound to know how to locate him," Jorgen states, and I nod, getting up while he’s packing and looking around for his shoes. Shortly after that, I disappear into the bathroom, wanting to be alone with my thoughts.
I lean over the sink and stare at my reflection in the mirror for several long moments. My muscles are aching more than before, but at least my hormones aren’t bothering me anymore. My arm looks all right, but I’ll definitely have a scar. That bastard Ming’s going to pay for what he did to me. I don't know how, but I'll find a way to expose him.
Now I remember that Jorgen fell asleep earlier on and he didn't hear anything that I told him. Maybe it's a good thing, because right now he can't afford to lose his focus. I keep telling myself that it's not the wise thing to do. Jorgen won't care that I lied to him once he gets his dragon back. He’ll realise that I’ve been trying to fix my mistake for weeks now, and then he’ll forgive me. At least I hope so. It’s weighing heavy on my mind, but I keep trying not to let it overwhelm my thoughts.
Locating the druid might be easy, but getting to him is an entirely different matter. Even Edvard mentioned that his own dragons have been protecting him for years and no one has been able to cross over the valley to see him.
"Are you all right?" Jorgen asks when I leave the bathroom, washed and ready to go.
"All good," I assure him with a smile, deep down regretting that I can't bring myself to be completely honest with him. I hate acting like a coward, but nothing can distract us now. We need to be focused on our task.
We have a quick dinner in the tavern and then head outside to town.
"I think we should ask around for a wizard or a witch. A few of them always live amongst shifters and they normally know everyone around," I say, knowing well enough that witches and wizards rely on shifters to get business. Emilia makes money from her love potions, and her shop brings her a lot of revenue. This is how it’s always been, even before the Great War started, and we just have to find a wizard in this town. The rest should go smoothly.
I feel a little guilty that I haven't tried to contact Emilia again, but a hell of a lot has been going on lately. The upside down mirror’s still in my rucksack and I’ll need to use it tonight to let her know that we’re all right.
"It's a good strategy," Jorgen says as we head towards the main square, passing old town houses and other shifters. I feel a little relieved that no one’s paying much attention to us and everyone’s going about their business. Earlier on, the tavern owner explained that we’re in Jungy, a town that’s under the rule of Lord Dygno from the Lawson Clan of dragons. He didn't want to tell me anything about General Ming, and pretended that he had other things that he needed to take care of, so I didn't have a chance to ask him about the wizard.
I always believed that after the Great War, humans and shifters co-existed peacefully, but the division between magic and humans is very apparent in the Asian World just as Jorgen had warned from the start. It’s been quite shocking to say the least. There are clear warnings in the local paper, cautioning shifters not to enter human populated areas, as many of them have been killed.
"I think we should head over to the local butcher, there must be someone there who can direct us to the wizard," I tell Jorgen and he agrees.
The heat’s back again, but I try to ignore the sweat on my back and my pounding heart. My hormones are not going to ruin my day again.
I need to delay going through heat until we get back to Rivenna. I have no idea if it’ll be possible, but I have to at least try.
"You always know what to do, Astri. I might be skilled in battle, but I'm useless around people," Jorgen mutters and I smile, aware of what he’s talking about.
He’s the Duke, so he’s used to everything being handed to him on a silver platter. I had to fight in order to survive, but I understand that he was brought up differently; it’s not everyone’s destiny to be royal.
"You're just not used to my kind of life. You're forgetting that I lived with my aunt and uncle. Things were difficult for a while, so I spent half of my time in the forest, mostly to be away from them. They weren't comfortable when I was around," I say, once we leave the butcher shop and head towards the east side. An older female shifter told me that there’s a mage who lives near the mountain, further away from town. She’s not sure if he’s a wizard, but she’s certain that he has magical skills. The Elders in town call him a male witch. "We still need to figure out how we’re going to get our hands on the dragon venom. The wizard will know if there’s a way to get to the druid without dying first."
Jorgen’s silent and I know that he’s thinking about the venom too. Our unexpected meeting with Ming complicated everything, so we need to be careful from now on.
We get to the edge of town and enter a narrow path in the forest, following the directions of the female shifter that we met in town. Finally, after about ten minutes of wandering around, we r
each an old wooden house hidden between the trees, with thick white smoke coming from the chimney. The smell of spices wafts through the air, and I feel a little nostalgic, thinking about Emilia's shop. Her space in the back has a similar energy that I now sense here. My skin starts drowning in the static power all around us, while I try to calm my racing heart at the same time.
I don't want to make a snap judgement just yet, because we still have no idea if the potion maker is the wizard that we’re looking for.
"I don't like strangers around here," a deep voice startles both of us from behind. Jorgen and I turn around abruptly, facing a very short man with slender eyes and a bald head, dressed in a typical kimono. He's older, most likely in his mid-fifties or early sixties, but I always have trouble judging people's age in this part of the Asian world. I suspect that he’s the wizard that the female shifter was talking about earlier on. "A Wyvern dragon and a broken mage. Interesting. I think we can talk, because you my darling, possess something that I need. Please, come inside my home."
Jorgen glances at me and I nod, knowing that we should at least listen to what he has to say before we start doubting him. We’ve lost almost a day and a half being stuck in that temple.
The wizard keeps staring at me intensely as I walk inside his humble home. Inside, I have to cover my nose when the smell of sulphur and opium assaults me. Jorgen doesn't say anything, looking around at all the pottery dishes that are stacked by the wall. Magical energy starts crackling over my knuckles, tingling inside my stomach. Presumably, the Asian wizard’s cooking food on an old, wood burning stove.
Further in the room, I notice dead animals; rabbits, snakes and rats hanging along the ceiling, and I shudder with revulsion. Jorgen’s becoming apprehensive too, but we’re not leaving until we figure out if the wizard knows anything.
"We’re looking for a druid who breeds real dragons. Do you know how to find him?" I ask, getting straight to the point.