Chapter 18
Yin
When I’m taken to the doctors, they are thankfully busy.
With so many soldiers under their care, I imagine they never have a dull moment.
Which is perfect. I don’t want anyone else to see my hand.
Pumping it back and forth, I confirm once more that it isn’t injured. Somehow it has become covered in blood… blood that’s appeared out of nowhere.
While for a short while I wonder if it has something to do with the mirage sorcerers, I quickly dismiss that possibility. Somehow, I know the blood is mine.
.…
I just don’t know how it got there.
Though my guards grumble at me to wait, I duck forward and grab the attention of the first doctor I can see. “Excuse me, doctor, I can see you’re busy. I can treat myself. I’ve been an apprentice herbalist for years. I don’t have to bother you. I need some water, a bandage, and some yakar ointment.”
The doctor looks flustered.
“Doctor?” I prompt.
A patient screams from behind him. I can see from the look of the man’s leg, it’s broken in several places.
“Doctor?” I prompt again, knowing I have to get my answer before I give the man time to think.
“Fine,” he mutters, pointing toward the far section of the room.
I swallow a smile.
Well, that’s the first thing that’s gone right all day.
Ducking across the room, I get to a basin of water and wash my hand well before my guards have a chance to catch up. Then I expertly smear yakar ointment all over my palm and bandage it quicker than any seasoned doctor could.
With my palm and fingers completely hidden by the thick, sticky, jet-black ointment, I breathe a sigh of relief.
The relief doesn’t last.
As soon as my guards see I’m bandaged up, they snap at me to follow.
Though I really want to snap back, I don’t.
General Garl’s warning still rings in my ears. The look he gave me still burns in my mind too. In fact, I know that when or if I get a chance to close my eyes tonight, it’ll haunt my dreams as well.
Feeling trapped, but still happy I managed to hide the mysterious blood on my hand, I follow my guards all the way back to the training square.
It’s safe to say I’m starting to get heartily sick of this place. Not only because every time I come here I seem to draw an audience, but because I’ve already had more than enough for one day.
Though Castor would always make me train hard every single day, with no reprieve, I would have plenty of time off in between. In other words, I lived a life.
Now I realize that life is far behind me. For now, until I find a way out, this training square will be my home.
“So what happens now?” I ask one of my guards.
He doesn’t even bother to look at me. “Women should speak only when spoken to,” he sneers.
I go to tell him that doesn’t stop me from hitting him over the head with a brick but quickly hold my tongue.
I can’t afford to slip up. I can’t let my temper get the better of me.
I just have to endure this until I can find some way of getting out safely.
Endure, then attack – Castor’s motto. Well, now more than ever I need to rely on it.
So, lifting my chin, I set my gaze forward, and I tell myself I’m ready to face whatever will come next.
As that resolution solidifies within me, my nose automatically crumples. As I imagine my training, I imagine one man only.
Captain Yang. Though I didn’t see him during my fight with the mirage sorcerers, no doubt he was there. Though I only met the man a day ago, he’s like my shadow.
I can just bet he’ll be the one in charge of torturing me.
Still, as I crane my neck and look around the square, I can’t see him. Sure, there are plenty of other soldiers in armor engaged in training exercises, but as far as I can tell, Yang isn’t amongst them.
He’ll be here somewhere, though, ready to admonish me for not being loyal enough, or just as ready to manipulate me with his false calm.
I spend so much time looking for him, I don’t notice when someone else I know walks up.
Though I should say stalks.
Glancing to the side, I see Mae.
She’s in a different pair of shoes, possibly because the ones I melted are still stuck in the ground.
She looks at me exactly like someone staring at the most disgusting thing in the world. Her head couldn’t be held back any further, and her nose couldn’t be at a stiffer angle.
I hear one of the soldiers behind me snicker.
Despite the fact I’m supposed to be on my best behavior, I turn slowly over my shoulder and shoot him a challenging glare.
Satisfyingly, he shuts up and even swallows.
Then Mae is upon me. She stalks right up the steps and comes to a rest practically under my nose. “The General himself has asked me to train you. He has requested I try. He has told me you will behave. In fact, he’s told me that if you don’t, I am to report directly to him.”
I stand there and stare straight ahead.
“I haven’t and will not forget what you did to me. You are unfit for training and are little more than a mountain bear pretending to be a woman. Well, we both know you will slip up, and I will tell the General.” Mae stops abruptly, apparently having said all she needed to.
I don’t move. Nor do I dare say anything. I swallow my anger, because I can’t afford to let it show.
“I will wait for you to fail, and then I will stand there and watch whatever punishment Garl decides upon,” Mae assures me.
Again, I don’t react. It takes all of my discipline, though. I see the hatred and fire burning in her eyes, and all I want to do is reach in and snuff it out. Not her life, but her indignation. Her arrogance. Whatever ignorance sees her following such a twisted man as Garl.
Though I can appreciate being one of the only women in the Royal Army must be hard for Mae, that doesn’t give her the right to do this.
Nothing gives people the right to blindly follow such violence.
“Now, come with me,” Mae flicks her hand down to the square.
I follow.
As I do, I shut my mind off. The caring, feeling side – I just put up a wall. I won’t react, I tell myself. No matter what she does, I won’t react.
I will endure, then I will attack.
With that mindset, I stand before her, and I train.