Though somehow I doubt it. All the celebrities are staying at the magnificent Gritti Palace. We passed it earlier, coming from the airport on the Vaporetto, and there was a big stretch of red carpet running all the way up from the jetty to the terrace bar right on the canal. There was tons of activity, dozens of black-and-white uniformed waiters, like an army of penguins, flitting around getting everything ready for the big film première party that’s happening tonight. Though I haven’t a clue which film it’s for.
Adam would know, pipes up a voice in my head.
I feel a familiar lurch in my stomach. I’ve been trying not to think about him, but now his face pops into my consciousness and my mind spools back to that first time I saw him on the street, with a camera and a furry microphone. To the time in the MoMA, talking animatedly about his love of films. To the night we met in the art-house cinema and how excited he was to be sharing his favourite movie with me. He’d love it here, I reflect, glancing around, feeling the buzz of the festival.
For a split second I think about calling him, telling him where I am.
But of course there’s no point, is there? I doubt he’d even pick up the phone. Even if he did, how would I explain what I’m doing here? Oh, hi, I’m here at the Venice Film Festival with Nate, trying to break an ancient legend. Wish you were here!
Yeah, right, Lucy. Great move.
I keep walking. Sadness aches and I try cajoling myself. Perhaps once this is all over we could start where we left off . . . but I know that’s not going to happen. He’ll never trust me again, and why should he? Anyway, let’s face it, it was over before it had even begun. What was it? A couple of kisses, two dates, that’s it. He’ll move on, so will I. It’s no big deal.
Only it felt like a big deal. It wasn’t just about a couple of dates; it was about more than that. It was about listening to him talking and thinking he reminded me of someone and realising it was me. It was the feeling I got when he walked into the police station that night and I discovered there was no one I’d rather see than him. It was seeing him sitting cross-legged on my bedroom floor, looking excitedly through my sketchbooks and telling me to follow my dream. Small, simple, fleeting things, and yet they made a huge impression on me. At the time I didn’t realise it, but now . . .
Now it’s too late. Whatever happens with Nate, Adam and I are over. This time there are no second chances.
I keep walking, hands stuck deep into the pockets of my shorts. Everywhere around me are the sounds of laughter and excitement, but they only serve to throw into stark contrast my own mood.
After a few moments I slip into a shadowy backstreet. It’s quiet here, no fancy galleries, gelata stalls or souvenir shops to tempt the tourists, just the odd cat sitting on a doorstep, and a washing line strung high above. It reminds me of Artsy and his washing line of art. I think about his upcoming exhibition. It’s definitely going to go ahead now. I spoke to Magda at JFK, just as we were boarding, and sure enough the painting had been verified and it was a Titian.
‘Which of course I knew all along!’ she’d declared. ‘I said to Daniel, “I knew Aunt Irena would not leave me penniless, I knew!”’
Which isn’t the exact truth, but who cares? She was so happy, and I’m happy for her. The painting’s going to be put up for auction and with the proceeds Magda will no doubt be able to pay off her debts and save the gallery. Moreover, she’ll most likely be able to keep herself in genuine designer goods for the rest of her life. Everything, it seems, has worked out for her.
Reaching a small piazza, I pause. In the middle there’s a fountain with an elaborately carved fish spouting water, and a wooden bench in a patch of sunlight. It looks tempting. I’m tired and my sandals are starting to rub in the heat. Despite being the beginning of September, it still feels like summer. Gratefully, I sit down. Gosh, this is much better. Slipping off my sandals, I wiggle my toes and close my eyes for a moment, relishing the peace and quiet. Just the sound of the trickling fountain.
‘Scusi.’
And a voice.
Snapping open my eyes, I look up to see a man peering over me. He’s blocking the sunlight and his face is in shadow, so I can’t distinguish his features, but I can make out the outline of his hat. A white fedora.
Deep within a memory stirs and I feel a tingle run down my spine. There’s something about him. He’s familiar. I know him, but how?
He motions to me, as if to say, Do you mind if I sit down? and I gesture back as if to say, No, of course not. As he eases himself down beside me, his face turns to the light.
And suddenly I place him.
‘It’s you!’ I say, more to myself than to him.
He looks at me quizzically.
‘You’re the man who sold me the pendant, who told me about the Bridge of Sighs.’ I scan his craggy face for a sign of recognition. ‘Do you remember?’ I look at him with eager anticipation, awaiting his reply. This could be it. This could be the answer I’ve been looking for. Hope swells inside and I hold my breath tight inside my chest.
‘I tell a lot of people that story,’ he confesses, his eyes crinkling into a rueful smile.
‘You do?’ I feel a curious stab of disappointment and look down at my lap so he can’t see it on my face. All these years I’d imagined Nate and I had been special, yet now, abruptly, I realise we were just one of hundreds of couples to whom he told the story. Foolishness prickles. There was me thinking that somehow he could hold the secret, that he could somehow give me the answer.
‘So did the legend work its magic?’ I glance up to see him looking at me with an amused curiosity. ‘Are you still together?’
‘Sort of.’ I shrug miserably.
He frowns at my expression. ‘I’m sorry . . . my English.’ He throws out his upturned palms. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘It’s a long story.’ I smile apologetically.
He looks at me for a moment, his eyes searching my face, as if for clues. ‘You are both in love with someone else? Is this it?’
‘Yes, it is.’ I nod, thinking about Nate. Earlier at the airport I’d heard him on the phone to Beth, still trying to convince her to give things another shot, and my heart had gone out to him. He was clearly in love with her, and it was even more clear that it was only now he’d begun to realise it. Never has the old adage ‘you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone’ seemed more true. But then, isn’t that true for a lot of people? I muse sadly, thinking about Adam.
‘And what about you?’
I snap back. ‘Me? No,’ I protest, shaking my head determinedly. ‘No, not in love . . .’ The words catch in my throat as my mind thumbs through the snapshots of mine and Adam’s brief relationship. It wasn’t love. Of course not. How could I be in love with someone I barely knew? And yet . . .
And yet you can spend a lifetime with someone and still be a stranger to them, but on the flipside you can meet someone briefly who can see inside your soul. Can you measure love by time? By anything? Or is it something inexplicable that has no rhyme or reason, no scientific explanation. Something that just happens. Like magic.
As the thought hits, I suddenly realise that I’m not convincing anyone, least of all me.
‘Yes, I am,’ I say, turning to look at the old man. My voice is quiet but unfaltering. ‘I am in love with someone.’
‘Well, then, do not worry.’ He smiles reassuringly. ‘The legend is indeed powerful, but do you know what is more powerful?’ He looks at me, his dark eyes seeming even darker, and I feel goose bumps prickling my arms, just like all those years ago.
‘Love,’ he says simply. ‘The power of love.’
I look at him, a million questions racing through my head. ‘But—’
‘Goodbye, Lucy.’ Before I can finish, he stands up, tipping his hat. ‘Say hello to Nathaniel for me.’
‘Yes, I will.’ I nod absently, watching as he turns and walks away. Then a thought strikes. ‘How did you remember our names?’
But he’s already g
one, disappeared down an alleyway, leaving me with a jumble of thoughts and unanswered questions.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
I’m still sitting alone on the bench, trying to make sense of it all, when my phone rings. It’s my sister, Kate. I pick up.
‘How’s Venice? Got rid of him yet?’ she says with characteristic bluntness.
‘Not yet,’ I say blithely, but reminded of why I’m here, I feel a clutch of worry. ‘So, anyway, how are you?’ I ask, sweeping it under my cerebral carpet.
‘Well, do you want the good news . . . or the good news?’
‘Huh?’
There’s a pause and then . . .
‘We got the all-clear!’ Jeff and Kate yell in stereo down the phone, their voices so loud I have to hold my mobile away from my ear.
‘Oh my God, that’s brilliant!’ I gasp, feeling a tidal wave of emotions wash over me – relief, joy, delight . . . I want to punch the air, high-five a stranger, hug someone, but there’s no one here, just me, on a bench, in a tiny piazza in Venice, listening to my sister and Jeff speaking nineteen to the dozen down the phone, telling me all about the results. It was stage one and he didn’t need chemo. ‘Just a holiday,’ Kate is enthusing, ‘a bloody long holiday.’
Listening to her speaking, I can’t stop smiling, and it’s not just because Jeff’s got the all-clear. It’s because of the change in my sister. Hearing her excitedly talking about taking a holiday, it’s like a new Kate. Gone is the sister who used to spend every spare moment she had in the office or the gym, who was so focused on making partner or running the marathon that she lost sight of who and what are important in life. She was left behind that day in the hospital, and somehow I don’t think she’s ever coming back.
‘We were thinking a safari, or maybe even diving on the Great Barrier Reef, or Jeff said why don’t we just go crazy and take sabbaticals from work and do both . . .’
As she’s talking, I’m distracted by a couple who’ve wandered into the piazza. Absently I watch them taking each other’s photograph by the fountain, before the guy notices me and walks over.
‘Excuse me,’ he begins, then realising I’m on the phone, falters. ‘Oh . . . sorry.’
‘It’s OK.’ I smile. The glow from my sister’s good news feels infectious. I mean, come on, here’s a couple in love, in one of the most romantic cities in the world, and they want a photo together. ‘Hang on, Kate,’ I say to my sister, who’s now wondering if they should buy round-the-world tickets and take in the Pyramids as well. ‘I just need to take a photo.’
‘No worries. Let’s speak later,’ she says cheerfully, saying her goodbyes and hanging up.
No worries? I stare, astonished, at my mobile for a moment. Something tells me this new sister of mine is going to take a bit of getting used to.
‘Thank you so much.’
I turn back to see the girl in the couple smiling at me and holding out her camera. It’s one of those big proper ones, with the lens that you focus manually, not like my little digital one that just takes snaps.
‘Would you mind taking it over here, against the sunset?’ she asks.
‘No problem.’ I smile, taking it from her and looking down the lens.
Then suddenly I pause. Rewind. Did she just say . . .?
‘Sunset?’ I gasp.
‘Yes, isn’t it amazing?’ Her face lights up as she gestures towards it. ‘Like the sky is on fire.’
Her voice is drowned out by the sound of my own heart pounding loud and fast in my ears as I look up. And there it is. Like a huge cinematic backdrop. A pomegranate sky streaked with pinks and reds and oranges, and the sun is a fiery orb slowly sinking down low behind the buildings.
Oh my God.
The legend. I have to meet Nate.
I turn back. The couple are still smiling at me, their bodies posed for a photograph, but now I’m all fingers and thumbs. I can’t even see to focus. ‘I’m sorry, I have to go,’ I gabble, quickly taking a picture and shoving the camera back at them. ‘I hope I didn’t cut your heads off.’ I throw them an apologetic smile, and leaving them looking at me in confusion, I turn and start racing down the alleyway.
I can’t be late. For once in my life I can’t be late. I have to be there on time. I have to—
Shit, where I am going? I stop dead, my heart racing, my mind helter-skeltering. Suddenly, in all of this, I realise I haven’t a clue in which direction I’m supposed to be heading. I haven’t a clue where the Bridge of Sighs is.
It gets worse. I haven’t even a clue where I am now. I’m lost. Without a map. And I can’t speak Italian.
Panic rises a notch and for a moment I stand stock still, like a rabbit caught in headlights. Even my Shredded Wheat rhyme isn’t going to save me now. Come on, think, Lucy, think. But I can’t think, my mind is blank, and in desperation I just set off running down twisting alleyways, past shops and restaurants, crowds of tourists and paparazzi.
‘Excuse me, do you know the way to the Bridge of Sighs?’ I pant breathlessly to other tourists, but they shake their heads apologetically.
I spot a bunch of men who look distinctly Italian. ‘Ponte dei Sospiri?’ I gasp desperately.
‘Ah, sì, sì.’ They nod and with a series of hand gestures point me in the right direction.
Relief floods, and thanking them profusely, I set off running through the crowded streets. It’s really busy now. The film parties are gearing up for the evening and paparazzi and film crews are buzzing everywhere. The whole town is lit up. Even the canals, I notice, reaching the water and spotting a gondola up ahead, the bright lights of a film crew on board shining on some celebrity or other.
And the bridge, I realise, looking past the gondola and seeing it arching across the canal. It’s the Bridge of Sighs.
I feel a rush of anticipation and wonder. It’s so beautiful. The white marble is like a blank canvas, reflecting the colours of the sunset and the ripples of the water beneath, and for a moment I stare at it, transfixed. The effect is almost magical.
I can’t stand here all evening, though. I’ve got to find Nate, and snapping back, I scan the crowds. I see him. A few hundred metres away upstream, he’s standing waiting by one of the smaller bridges from which you can catch the gondola. Even from this distance I can see the expression on his face and he doesn’t look best pleased. Spotting me, he glares at me furiously and throws his arms in the air as if to say, Where the hell have you been?
I rush towards him. Shit, I’m running out of time. The sun’s going to set. I’m going to be too late. Too late for what? pipes up a voice in my head. You still don’t have a plan. I ignore it. It’s not over yet. I’ve still got a few minutes, I tell myself frantically. There’s still time for a miracle.
Excusing my way through the crowds, I head towards Nate, but it’s hard. There are so many people milling around taking photographs of the Bridge of Sighs, of the sunset, of the film crew on the canal.
‘Ooh, look, it’s that actor,’ coos a voice, as I push past.
‘He’s in a gondola,’ cries another voice, as I squeeze through a gap.
I look fleetingly over to see who’re they’re talking about and snatch a glimpse of the gondola I saw earlier. It’s some pretty-boy Hollywood actor with bright lights shining upon him. A young guy in a baseball cap is interviewing him.
Oh my God.
The breath catches in the back of my throat. It can’t be . . .
As the gondola glides past, I see his face.
‘Adam?’ Reeling with shock, I hear my voice call out his name. I see him glance up at me.
‘Lucy?’ he gasps, bewilderment flashing across his face.
Our eyes meet for a split second, and thrown off balance, I don’t look where I’m going and suddenly I feel my foot slip. Stumbling, I throw my arms out to grab hold of something, but they clutch at thin air and I feel myself falling . . .
I can hear someone scream as I hit the water. Or is it me screaming? I can’t tell. I think I’ve hit
my head. Everything has gone woozy. Now I’m swallowing water and I’m trying to swim, but my arms are flailing and I’m going under. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears, feel the panic rising in my chest. Oh God, I’m going to drown. I’m going to—
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a pair of arms grab hold of me and I feel myself being pulled out of the water and on to the gondola. Spluttering and coughing, I’m fighting for breath, but it’s as if everything has gone dreamy, as if I’m seeing the world through a blurry film of Vaseline. Around me I can see people’s mouths moving, hear muffled voices, but I can’t respond. My eyelids are growing heavy. My limbs don’t feel as if they belong to me. The world seems to be receding.
‘Fare la respirazione bocca a bocca!’ the gondolier is shouting over and over. ‘Fare la respirazione bocca a bocca!’
‘The kiss of life,’ translates a voice. ‘Give her the kiss of life.’
Adam’s face flashes above mine, bathed in the golden glow of the sunset. I notice his wet hair, water trickling down his face, his urgent expression. I feel the gondola fall into shadow as we drift underneath the Bridge of Sighs. I’m so tired I want to go to sleep. Exhausted, I close my eyes . . .
Suddenly I feel someone’s lips on mine, their mouth pressed urgently against my own. Jolted awake, I snap open my eyes to see Adam. Relief flashes in his eyes and he breaks off from kissing me. For a moment we just stare wordlessly at each other, a million questions hanging between us.
Then I hear them, in the distance, softly chiming. I listen harder. Is that . . .? Could that be . . .?
‘Bells,’ I whisper, as Adam looks at me quizzically.
‘Have you heard about the legend?’ asks a thick Italian accent, and we both turn to see the gondolier grinning at us.
‘What legend?’ says Adam, still holding me tightly.