Chapter Twelve
My mother brought me a couple of biscuits smothered in gravy just before she and the rest of my family left for church the next morning, leaving me behind without a word. I wondered if my parents had decided I was a lost cause.
When they returned home, I watched Katy hand my mother her Sunday hat before she ran off to go find something better to do than hang around the house. The hat’s blue ribbon seemed to wave to her in the wind.
Half an hour later, when my mother brought me up a bowl of tomato soup and let me use the restroom, I could tell she’d been crying. She set the bowl beside my bed while I was gone, and then met me just inside the door with a warm hug when I walked back into the room. “I hate keeping you locked up in here, Alexandra. It’s just killing me,” she said in a shaky voice.
I wanted to tell her that it was okay, but it really wasn’t.
She put her hands on my shoulders as she moved away. “But it’s for your own good. We have to keep you away from Mason.”
I forced myself not to say anything.
“Hopefully, this will only go on until Christmas. We’ve postponed putting the tree up since your father’s been so busy at work. He said we’ll do it tomorrow night, though, so I’m hoping he’ll let you come down for that. I just wanted to let you know.”
I nodded, but continued to stay silent until she left, and then all I felt like doing was staring vacantly out of my window at the gray December sky. A few times I walked around my room or pulled out a book to read, but I always returned to the window.
An hour before it was time to go to Hayden’s, it started to rain. Katy came running toward the house not long after. I sat and wondered if Mason would still come in spite of the heavy downpour.
A few minutes later, Katy brought me a sandwich in her wet clothes. “Good luck,” she whispered as she handed it to me and then turned to walk away to her room, leaving me to wonder if she’d given Mason my letter.
I ate the sandwich quickly, and then went back to staring at the dreary world outside.
Perhaps it was the seclusion, or maybe it was the gloomy sky I’d spent hours watching, but for whatever reason, I began to ask myself if Mason was really worth risking everything for. The pain it was causing and would continue to cause my parents. My reputation. Being forced to leave Chicago. Even though everyone was mad at me there, it was home, and I hoped things would eventually smooth over. But I knew almost as soon as the question came to me that he was worth it. He had proven himself so completely to me; I decided that he was worth anything I was forced to endure.
Looking down at my hand, I slid the ring around so I could see it. I turned to my nightstand and opened the little drawer to take out the gold box he’d given me. Then I opened it to reread the message inside several times. It almost felt like he was there with me, the ring and box a constant reminder that everything would work out in the end. As long as I still had him, I knew it would be all right.
It seemed unfair that I had so much that he had given me right there in that room, and I was yet to give him anything. I felt powerless to do anything about it, though, since I was confined at the moment. Then, I had an idea…
The front door opened below, so I went to my window to see my parents hurry to their car. The blue rimmed clock on my wall told me it was five o’ clock, fifteen minutes earlier than we usually left. I wondered if Katy was staying behind until I saw her running after them with her shoes in one hand and her coat in the other. Her Sunday hat was on her head again, the blue ribbon waving good bye to me this time.
My mother looked up and saw me in my widow as the car pulled away, so we waved to each other sadly.
I continued to stare out the window, my attention now focused on the empty streets. “Please let him come. Please let him come,” I kept muttering to myself, knowing I should really be wishing he would stay home, with the freezing rain coming down so hard an umbrella would be next to useless.
For ten minutes this went on before I saw someone running down the sidewalk toward me from way down the street. It was Mason! He ran across Emmaline’s street without even stopping to look before he crossed it. Water fell from his black hair and soaking wet clothes. Rope was wrapped loosely around one of his shoulders.
I opened my window as he ran across my front yard. He smiled up at me as the heavy drops of water pounded against his breathtaking face. “Catch this and tie it to something,” he cupped a hand halfway around his mouth to shout before he pulled the rope off of his shoulder and tossed one end up to me. I caught it on the second throw and tied it four times around one of my bed rails.
“Oh,” I said as I remembered I was wearing Hayden’s necklace. As quickly as I could, I took it off and put it in my jewelry box.
Then I leaned out of my window, feeling cold spray hit my face and shoulder, and waved for Mason to come up.
The head of my bed lifted a foot off the floor before it wedged itself against the wall when he started to climb, causing me to fall off of it. I screamed as I fell through the air and then hit the ground on my side. “Ouch,” I said as I got up and held a hand over my throbbing hip. I knew I should have seen it coming, but I don’t always think clearly when Mason’s around.
I pulled the blanket off my bed and stood at its side to look out the window. Mason was already halfway up. His hands moved steadily over the rope, higher and higher, as he drew closer to me. I moved out of the way so he could climb through my window and then threw my blanket around his shoulders as he pulled the rope in.
When he was finished, he shut the window and turned to smile at me. Taking my face in his hands and lifting his shoulders slightly, he leaned forward to kiss me, being careful to keep the rest of his body away from mine. Freezing water dripped from his hair onto my forehead and down over my eyes, but something about his kiss kept me warm.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I said as he leaned away and pulled my blanket around him. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come because of the rain.”
“It wasn’t that bad. And I figured I was safer climbing up here under the cover of rain, anyway. I take it you talked to Katy.”
“Yes. Did you see her today?”
He shook his head and reached an icy hand out, as a shiver passed over him, to wipe the water off of my face. “Sorry about that.”
“I don’t mind, but you’re so cold.” I went to my closet and pulled out another blanket before I helped Mason to my bed and wrapped it around him. Water was already seeping through the first one.
“Alexandra, you’ll have nothing to sleep with tonight,” he said, shaking the second blanket off.
“I don’t care about that, and my mother will get me another one. I’ll tell her I opened the window for some fresh air and the rain got in.” Standing right in front of him, I leaned over and reached around him to pick up the blanket and wrap it around him again.
He reached out to let his hand run gently over my cheek, and then my neck, and then around the collar of his coat, which I still wore. I felt embarrassed, afraid he would think I was too obsessed with him. “You’re wearing my coat,” he said with a smile.
“It’s—comforting. You can wear it home, though. It’s dry.” I really hated to think of losing it.
“That’s okay. It won’t take that long to get home at a run and I’ve got plenty of dry coats there. I’m glad you’re wearing it.”
I smiled and sat down beside him, remembering that there was something I wanted to give him. “I was thinking today about how fortunate I am to be surrounded by so many of the things you’ve given me. I have your notes and this ring…” I held it up to look at it for only a second. “…and I wanted to give you something.”
Standing back up, I went to my closet to move some things around on the top shelf. Behind a box full of string, yarn, and needles, I saw my lion lying on his side. His mane was worn and shabby, but his black eyes still shone brightly as they peered at me. “I wanted to give you this,” I said as I pulled it down and wen
t back to sit beside Mason once again. A week ago I would have felt silly handing him to Mason, but things were different now. “He’s kind of old and worn out, but he knows me better than anyone else. He’s no promise ring, but he is part of me…You could take him with you.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” I handed my lion over to him, feeling a certain pain in my heart at the thought of giving him away, even though I hadn’t played with him in years. But I trusted Mason with him.
“He's perfect, something I can hold at night while I'm thinking about you. Thank you, Alexandra.” He leaned over to kiss my cheek as he took the stuffed lion. Then he held my lion up and turned him over carefully as he studied him. “I really appreciate this…really. I promise I'll take good care of him…But I feel really bad about Friday night. I wish I had been there.”
“No, Mason, if you were there that night you wouldn't be here now.” I reached up to run my fingers through his hair. “I would never see you if you were in jail...and I need to see you.”
He leaned over to kiss me. “The worst part of being all wet is I can't hold you, no matter how bad I want to.”
He might not be willing to get me wet, but I was. So I took his hand and stood up, pulling him with me as he set my lion down on the bed. I slipped my hands through the opening between the edges of the blanket where they met and tried to put my arms around his waist, but he stepped back. “No, Alexandra. I don't want you to be wet too.”
“But I don't mind.”
“I do. It wouldn't be right for me to let you get all wet and cold when I can help it.”
“I'll change later.” I moved forward and tried to slide my hands in again.
“No,” he said, pulling it tightly shut.
“Please.”
His eyes almost looked heavy as he smiled at me and sighed. “Oh, Alexandra…” Even though he shook his head, he opened his arms and the blanket out wide to let me in, wrapping them both around me as I slid my arms around him. “I’m afraid I can't refuse you anything.”
The rain tapped softly against my window in the sweet silence. It sounded like it was slowing down.
“Can I ask you something?” Mason asked, still holding me close inside the blanket.
“Of course.”
“What did you say to Hayden?”
I laid my head against his chest and stared out the window, not wanting him to see me if I started to cry. “I told him I never wanted to see him again.” Even though I was still furious with Hayden, I wished I hadn’t said it. I couldn’t take it back, but maybe I could still make things right. But what about what he did to Mason? It was just as bad as what I’d said.
“Are you okay?”
I shrugged my shoulders, assuming he didn’t really want to hear about it.
One of Mason’s arms slid up, resting his hand on the back of my head, as the other slid up and down over my back, both tightening around me. “I’m grateful, but I’m also sorry. As much as I can’t stand that guy, I know he’s probably important to you. I hate for you to have to go through all this just because of me.”
“It’s okay.” I turned my head to look up at him, surprised and comforted by his understanding.
“So how long do we have before your parents get home?”
“We usually come home around seven thirty or eight, so…” I looked over at my clock. Five forty-five. “Two hours if we’re lucky.”
“Two hours…What should we do with them?”
“I’ve just been staring out the window most of today, but that probably sounds boring. I think I have The Checkered Game of Life and an old Mansion of Happiness game in my closet if you want to play one of those.”
“Actually, I think staring out the window sounds fun, if you don’t mind me asking you a few questions.”
“Questions?”
“Yeah. There’s still so much I don’t know about you.”
“Okay, if you’ll answer them for yourself, too.”
“Deal.” I moved to his side within the blanket as we moved to the window.
“What do you want more than anything else in the world?” Mason asked me.
That was something I had to stop and think about. Right then, I wanted my parents to accept Mason and allow me to keep seeing him. And having things return to what they were before with Emmaline and Hayden would have been nice, but these things were too easy and too obvious. Mason wanted more than that, I knew. What would my answer have been when I still had those things? “True love,” I said. “The kind that lasts forever. The kind you can build a family with…That must sound typical for a woman, though. I can’t imagine many would want much else.” It made me nervous to be saying this to him, like I was asking him for these things, but I loved the way he smiled at me after I said it. “What about you? What would you like to have more than anything?”
His smile dimmed as he stared out of the window before he spoke. “Well…what you want sounds pretty good, and it’s definitely one of the things I want most. But if I could have anything, I would just have my dad come home.”
Wishing that I’d left that question one sided, I reached across my stomach for the hand he had around my waist. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead.
“What’s your favorite color?” he asked.
“I don’t know. It changes between yellow and pink…”
We spent at least an hour going back and forth with questions. We only stopped when I heard Mason’s stomach growl. “Are you hungry?” I asked him, thinking of the food Katy had given me, which was now hidden underneath one of my dresses in my bureau.
“I’m okay. I can eat when I get home.”
“Are you sure?” I pulled myself away from Mason and the blanket to walk over to the bureau. “Katy brought me some homemade bread and cookies last night. We can eat those.”
“That sounds great.”
I pulled out the pillowcase and handed it to him. We sat down on the floor and each began eating a piece of bread.
“I guess I’ll try to find another job tomorrow. It shouldn’t be too hard,” Mason said between mouthfuls.
I wanted to tell him not to, that this might get him arrested in the end. But I felt like it wasn’t my place to say anything, and he would have to support himself somehow.
We mostly ate in silence after that. Mason kept trying to hand the pillowcase back to me after every piece of bread and cookie, but I refused to take it, insisting that he eat it all, since I knew how much he could eat. I wasn’t really hungry anyway, and Katy would probably bring me more later that night. Even with my insistence, he refused to eat more than half of it.
“How about that Game of Life?” Mason asked when he was finished.
“All right. Just let me find it,” I said excitedly. The Checkered Game of Life used to be one of my favorite games and I hadn’t played it in a long time. So I put the pillowcase up and went in my closet, where I started pushing things around on the top shelf—a stack of magazines, a bag full of cloth scraps and ribbons, a couple of light bulbs—“There it is.” My fingers could barely reach the small stack of games, so I tried to press them against the side of the box and force it to slide closer to me, but with no luck.
“I’ll get it,” Mason said from right behind me. I hadn’t even realized he was there.
“Thank you,” I said as I moved to the side.
He held back the other games easily as he slid out the one we wanted. “I should warn you, I always win this game,” Mason said as we went to sit down in same spot in the middle of the floor.
“Really? When we play, it’s always me or my father who wins. Katy says it’s because we’re afraid to take risks.”
“Well, sometimes risks are worth taking…” I knew exactly what sort of risks he meant. “…but if playing safe is what wins the game, then I’d say you’re just the better player.”
We started playing and had so much fun that we forgot to watch the time. So when I heard a car pull up outside, I looked at Mason in alarm. We both
turned to look at the clock. Seven thirty-eight. “Is that your parents?” he asked calmly.
I jumped up and ran to my window. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but I became even more terrified. “Yes.”
Turning around, I saw Mason shoving all the game pieces back into the box chaotically. He smiled at me and I wondered how he could remain so calm. “Would you hand me the rope and I’ll put the game up? I’ll just hide in your closet until they go to sleep. It’ll be fine.”
My hands shook as I tried to untie the rope. A car door shut outside, then another. The knots were extremely tight since Mason’s weight had been put on them. I was still struggling with the first knot when the front door opened below. Panic continued to rise inside of me.
“What’s wrong?” Mason whispered from right behind me.
“I can’t get it.” I could feel tears welling up and my voice trembling.
“Let’s try this.” He grabbed the knots and slid them down to the bottom of the center bedrail they were tied to and set my pillow up to hide it.
He stopped to stand right in front of me, offering a reassuring smile, before he picked up the game sitting on my bed and dashed soundlessly to my closet, shutting the door behind him.
The door to my room opened a second later and my mother walked inside carrying a covered plate of food. I felt the panic return, knowing Mason was hiding in my bedroom with my parents home. “Hello, dear,” my mother said as she crossed the room and set the plate on my night table. “Hayden’s mother sent this for you.”
“So she’s not angry with me?” I asked.
“I don’t think so. Hayden hasn’t really talked to anyone about what happened with you two Friday night. Do you want me to—” She stopped and put a hand on my shoulder when she noticed my clothes. “Alexandra, you’re all wet. What happened?”
“I just opened my window for a minute and the rain came in. Umm—my blankets got wet, too. Could I have another one?”
“Of course, but why haven’t you changed? It stopped raining at least twenty minutes ago.”
I hadn’t even noticed. I just shrugged.
“Look, I know you’re upset about Mason, and I know that you think you’re in love with this boy, but—”
A loud crash came from inside my closet as I struggled to take in a breath, feeling my chest constrict as a new kind of fear overtook me.
“What in the world?” My mother started walking towards it.
“Wait,” My chest still felt tight as I hurried after her. “I had some games out and may have put them up a little carelessly. They probably just fell off the shelf. I’ll pick them up later.”
“Don’t you think we should at least check to make sure everything is all right?”
“It’s fine, Mother.”
But she stepped around me and opened my closet door. I half expected Mason to run through it and flee the house after what he’d just heard. It would take him longer to fall in love with someone like me, if that was even possible. But all we saw, as my mother pulled the string to turn on the hanging light bulb, was my Checkered Game of Life scattered all over the floor. I saw part of one of Mason’s shoes sticking out from underneath my longer hanging dresses, and realized he was standing behind them. Luckily my mother didn’t seem to notice.
“I guess you were right. Let’s just clean this up and put it away properly,” she said as she bent down and picked up the board.
“That’s all right. I was thinking of taking it out again, anyway.” I bent down and picked up everything desperately, shoving it all into the box as fast as I could before I carried it to my bed. Then I tried to go back to my closet to shut the door.
“What was I saying now? It was something I really wanted to talk to you about…Oh yes, Mason. I know you think you love him, but—”
“I really don’t want to talk about this right now, Mother.” My face felt like it was on fire and I was beginning to feel queasy. Mason was right behind her, listening to what she was saying.
“You’re not shy about this now, are you?”
I nodded my head, willing to do anything to stop what she was saying.
“Well, you weren’t shy about it when you announced it to all of us Friday night, including Hayden and that police officer. Is that why Hayden was so upset?”
“Mother, please, I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“All right. Go ahead and change while I get you another blanket, all right dear?”
I hurried to shut my closet door and then began changing when she left my room with the two wet blankets. My eyes remained fixed on the door to my closet, still afraid that Mason would run out of it and jump from the window any second. I wished that that door would never have to open, that I would never have to find out what his reaction would be.
“Here you are, dear,” my mother said, entering my room a couple of minutes later.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She reached out to give me a hug. “I know you don’t want to talk about Mason, but trust me. Your heart will heal. In time you’ll meet someone else and fall in love, and then he’ll only be a memory.”
I said nothing as she left.
The second my bedroom door closed, the closet door opened. My hair brushed against the front of my shoulders as I looked down at my feet, already feeling a lump pressing against my throat. I wished that I was anywhere but there, that I could transport myself an hour into the future, when he was gone and this horrible moment was over.
I heard his footsteps cross the floor. “Alexandra,” he whispered.
I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the place on the floor where he now stood, or utter a response. I was frozen by fear.
“Alexandra,” he whispered again, putting a hand on my cheek and lifting it so that I was forced to look up at him.
Tears rushed to my eyes as they met his. He had never looked so serious. He’s leaving me.
“I love you, too,” he leaned over to whisper before his lips pressed themselves against mine. As they withdrew, he wrapped his arms around me and leaned his head against the side of mine, inhaling deeply.
I was at a complete loss for words. He loves me… A tear rolled over my cheek. He loves me…
He lifted his head to look down at me. “I should have said it when I gave you that ring.” He reached behind his back to pull my hand around and kiss it. His whispering voice intensified that perfect moment. “But I was a coward; I was so afraid of losing you…When I found you in the rain that day, I knew that I wanted to be with you. It felt like everything happened exactly as it should have. And then…when I took your hand while we were skating, I knew that I loved you. For me, it only took a day.”
I could feel my eyebrows still held up in surprise. “You, you love me?” I couldn’t believe it.
He laughed softly. “Of course I do.” He wiped my tear away with his thumb and then laid my hand on his shoulder before placing his behind my back, letting the tips of his fingers run slowly over my arm and shoulder on the way, but I hardly felt it.
“How could you love me?” I just couldn’t make sense of it.
He gave me a peculiar look. “How could I not? You make me happier than I’ve ever been. I’ve felt things when I’m with you that I’ve never felt before…And you’re so beautiful…When I’m not with you, all I can think about is you. I love you, Alexandra.” He leaned forward and kissed me until I thought my legs would give way.
We both jumped back when my door creaked open. I looked over with fearful eyes to find Katy standing at my door. She looked just as surprised as she shut the door behind her. “You scared me to death,” I said, putting a hand over my heart.
“Hey, Katy,” Mason whispered.
“Hey. Not that I’m not happy you’re here, but you should probably leave,” Katy said to Mason. “My parents said I could come in here for a little while, but they’ll be checking to make sure I’m not in here for too long. Alexandra’s not supposed to be having any fun.”
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“He can’t climb out of my window while they’re awake. What if they see him?” I said quietly.
“They’re in their room right now. I’ll go stand by your door and knock if they come out, okay?”
“Thank you, Katy.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Mason said.
Katy nodded and turned toward the door, but stopped and turned back to face us. “I can’t believe I almost forgot the reason I came in here. You know where he lives, right?” she asked me.
I looked over at Mason, not sure if I should say anything or not. “She knows,” he answered for me.
“Okay, so I know how much you want to see Mason and how hard that is now, so I’ve come up with an early Christmas present for both of you. Tomorrow, you be wherever it is you’re staying, Mason, and Alexandra, you plan to go there when school closes early. Just be home the same time you always come home. I’ll stay out of the house until then and Mother will never know they let us out early.”
“What are you going to do?” I asked.
She smiled and shrugged. “It’s not much fun if you know what to expect. Just be ready, okay?”
“Thank you, Katy,” I wrapped my arms around her. “You’re the best sister in the world.”
“You too, and I was supposed to give this to you if I saw you today.” She pulled my letter out of her shoe and handed it to Mason.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Sure.” She hurried out of the room as Mason began to open the letter.
“Shouldn’t we hurry?” I asked him.
“Yeah, it’s just hard to wait to read something you wrote. But I guess I’ll have to.” He folded it up carefully and then put it in his pocket.
Mason leaned over to resume the kiss Katy had interrupted. Then he pressed his forehead against mine and whispered, “I love you, Alexandra.”
I smiled and rested my hands against his neck. “I love you, too, Mason.” It felt good to look him right in the eye and say that.
“I love hearing you say that.” He kissed me one more time before he drew away.
I opened my window as he slipped my lion into his shirt so his hands would be free for the climb down. When I threw the rope out of the window, I remembered that I couldn’t get it untied. “What do I do when you’re outside? I can’t get the rope free,” I asked.
“Why don’t we just leave it there? Then, when I come back, it’s already there waiting for me.” He grinned. “Like Rapunzel.”
“But that story had a sad ending.”
“No, it didn’t. They ended up together.”
“But he was blinded and she was cast out to a foreign land.”
Mason put his arms around me. “I think it’s obvious that our problems are very different from theirs, but the ending will be the same.”
He leaned down to kiss me one last time, and then climbed out of my window, stopping to smile at me before he let himself down.
Again, my bed lifted off the floor. I forgot how loud it would be when it slammed down. As soon as it did, I began pulling the rope up as fast as I could.
Katy knocked on the door as I pulled the last bit in. I waved at Mason and shut my window before I slid the rope down and pulled my pillow up to conceal it. “Are you all right?” my mother asked as my father said, “What in the world was that?” just outside of my door.
“Sorry. I accidentally slammed Alexandra’s door on my way out,” Katy answered.
My father opened my door and came inside. “That didn’t sound like a door slamming.” He looked around my room.
“Alexandra, you haven’t even touched your food,” my mother said, entering the room behind him.
“I was just about to eat it.” I picked up the plate and realized I would need a spoon. “But I’m not sure I can eat this meatloaf and corn without a spoon. May I go get one?”
“Well, it probably is about time for a bathroom break.” She looked over at my father.
“Go ahead. Just come back to your room when you’re finished,” he said.
“Yes, Father. Thank you.”
As I walked down the stairs, I thought about Mason and me as Rapunzel and her Prince Charming. They did go through a lot, more than Mason and I had, but the closing of their story wasn’t just the two characters ending up together. They were happily married. Could the same thought have occurred to Mason? Nothing would have made me happier than spending forever with him, but it was hard to believe he could want the same thing.
Then again, he was getting very good at surprising me.
I remembered that I hadn’t checked for a note when I was walking out of the bathroom, so I rushed to the kitchen to get a spoon and then back up to my room.
No one was anywhere to be seen. Maybe they won’t lock me in tonight.
I wasn’t exactly sure when Mason slipped his notes into my pockets, so I reached into the one on the dress I was now wearing and felt a little piece of paper. This one was a bit larger than the others and was folded over twice. I opened it to find a strange drawing. A thick black M had been drawn with heavy dashes on top of or underneath every point, and a thin gray A overlapped it with curly ends wrapping around it at the bottom. The A began just as high up as the M, but was slightly shorter on the bottom, the curls resting against the top of the dashes at the bottom of the M. Twenty something tiny objects were drawn around them—a raindrop, a key, an apple… The only thing that really stood out to me was the tiny letter H drawn in the bottom right corner. Hayden. But besides that, nothing made any sense at all.