We’re both vulnerable. And really fucked up.
Vex loved him with Laura’s love. He loved Laura, but how much of Vex was Laura?
He wondered if Underworld General Hospital had mental health specialists on staff, because they both might need an appointment.
Vex squeezed his wrist, prompting an answer. “Yeah. I’ll stay.” He looked down at his dripping clothes. “I have to change first.”
“Just take off your clothes. We can be naked together.”
His heart gave an excited thump, which was followed by an immediate breakout of a cold sweat. What if he couldn’t control himself? Oh, he wasn’t going to attack her, but he wasn’t sure he could resist her, either. She might have been kidding about them waiting for a long time, but he hadn’t been joking at all.
“Oh, criminy,” she mumbled. Her heavy lids closed, and her voice began to fade as she spoke. “Have you always been this uptight?”
“No,” he said as he shed his clothes, doing his best to keep turned so she couldn’t see his trembling fingers. Or his erection. “I used to be worse.”
That wasn’t a joke, either.
His heart was pounding as he climbed under the covers with her. He’d never been naked with a female before, and his body was telling him all about it. His skin was so hypersensitive he could feel every individual thread in the eighteen-hundred-thread count sheets. His lungs were pushing air in and out like he needed oxygen to run a marathon. And his cock was as hard as the marble hot tub he never used.
Although Vex didn’t open her eyes again and her breathing settled instantly into a deep, easy pattern, she slid her hand across the mattress to find his. His heart sang.
His Laura was home.
Chapter Twelve
Vex would really like it if the next time she woke up she wasn’t in a strange place, in a strange bed. At least this time she woke up alone in her body. There were no parasitic souls inside her. Just...peace.
Smiling, she rolled over.
And bumped into a warm body.
Startled, she opened her lids and found herself looking into the most gorgeous eyes she’d ever seen. “Zhubaal,” she whispered.
He shifted, propping himself up on one elbow. “Hey.” He reached out and brushed a knuckle over her cheek with so much tenderness she nearly wept. “How are you feeling?”
“My chest hurts a little, but otherwise, good.” Her smile faltered. “But I don’t remember anything after––” She broke off, horrified as the memories filtered back into her brain. “Oh, God, the succubus possessed me.”
“It’s okay. It wasn’t for long.”
“Did I...did I hurt anyone?”
“Only scumbags.” He snorted. “And damn, woman, I’d want you on my battlefield any day.”
His compliment gave her warm fuzzies. “Bet you never said that to Laura.”
“No,” he said, and the troubled expression on his face made her regret her words. He still loved Laura, and Vex definitely was not her. Well, technically she was, but not in any way it mattered.
“So,” she said as she tentatively trailed her finger over the back of his hand. “Where do we go from here?”
“You,” he said, “are going to soak in the hot tub. It’ll be good for your aching muscles. I’m going to get us breakfast.”
She glanced over at the tub that could easily hold Zhubaal and ten girlfriends, and a twinge of jealousy tweaked her. Actually, no, it was a giant wave of jealousy, and it crashed over her like a tsunami.
Before she could stop herself, she blurted, “How many females have you had in that thing?”
He jerked, taken aback. “None.”
Oh, right. That crazy vow of loyalty. Still, she blinked, amazed that he hadn’t taken advantage of all the delights to be had in a steaming pool with bubbling jets. “You have some seriously amazing willpower,” she mused. “Because I’d make daily use of that sucker.”
A shadow passed over his expression, and damn it, she just realized what she’d said. He’d been faithful to Laura all this time, and in this weird, twisted reality he lived in, she was Laura, and she hadn’t been faithful.
Way to jam a dagger straight into his heart.
“Hey,” she said, reaching for him. “I didn’t mean it.”
He shrugged off her touch, and in the shadowy light from a lamp in the reading nook, she saw his expression turn savage. “How many males have you been with?”
No, this wasn’t uncomfortable at all. “Zhubaal, I don’t think––”
“How. Many.”
Annoyed at his tone and the question, she sat up, not caring that the sheet fell away to expose her breasts. “That,” she said firmly, “is none of your business. My life before I met you was my own. It’s still my own. It was your choice to be celibate for all this time, and it was my choice to enjoy myself. I like sex, and I’m not ashamed of it. If you can’t deal with that, it’s your problem, not mine. Now,” she said, whipping the sheet away to reveal her entire naked body, “do you want to make up for lost time?”
As expected, she’d just taken the edge off his anger. His eyes shot wide, going even wider as she spread her legs, just a little, to reveal a hint of her arousal. She was wet already, had been since she got to Sheoul-gra, and now she knew why. Oh, yes, she loved sex, but she’d never been drawn to any male as quickly and as feverishly as she had been to Zhubaal. Her healthy sex drive combined with the already established familiarity thanks to her past-life history, had made her want to have him inside her almost from the second she saw him.
She couldn’t stand it anymore. Spreading her legs wide, she beckoned to him with one hand while sliding the other down her stomach. She watched him as her fingers found her cleft, loving how his nostrils flared and the veins in his neck stood out with every hard swallow.
“I’m waiting,” she said in a teasing, singsong tone as she rubbed her hand back and forth over her smooth mound.
The blatant hunger in his expression fed her own, and she reached for him, intent on pulling him down on top of her, but to her shock, he reared back and scrambled off the bed. He stood next to it, his eyes wild, his chest heaving. Alarm rang through her, and she sat up.
“Zhubaal, what’s wrong?”
Jamming his hand frantically through his hair, he shook his head. “This isn’t how it was supposed to be.”
“How what’s not supposed to be?” Before the question was even out of her mouth, she knew. “This is about Laura.”
He nodded. “I know you don’t want to hear that––”
“It’s okay,” she said softly, surprising herself. Laura had proven to be a big pain in the ass, but she had been a huge part of Zhubaal’s life, and Vex needed to accept it.
And he had to accept that she wasn’t Laura.
No, she didn’t know where this relationship was headed, but she did know she wanted to explore it. How could she not? She’d never felt as though anything was missing in her life, but the emotions he’d awakened in her couldn’t be contained. They had a connection she couldn’t deny, a connection that had been missing with every sexual partner she’d ever had.
Maybe that was why she’d never gotten serious with anyone. There’d never been even the most minimal connection. Maybe the stupid vow had affected her in this life. Because no matter how great the guy was, she’d never been able to make a relationship last for more than a couple of weeks. Even then, she’d only hung in for the sex. Emotions had never come into play.
“It’s not okay.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “We were cheated out of everything we wanted. Our first time wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
She rolled her eyes. “Let me guess. You and Laura probably planned to make love for the first time on marshmallow clouds cradled by rainbows while listening to harp music.” His defiant glare said she was pretty close to being on target. “We don’t have clouds or rainbows here, but we have a big bed, all the right parts, and I take an herb that prevents pregnancy, so why don
’t you tell me what’s really going on?” His nervous swallow made something in her brain click, and without thinking, she blurted, “Zhubaal...are you...a virgin?”
Cheeks bright with embarrassment, he averted his gaze and nodded. “She wanted to wait until we were wed.”
This isn’t how it was supposed to be.
Of course it wasn’t. He’d expected his first time to be with someone inexperienced. Probably shy. And here Vex was, ready to get raunchy and do things that would probably have given Saint Laura the vapors.
Well, there was plenty of time to be naughty. Right now, Zhubaal needed a gentler touch. And she wanted his first time to be special. She couldn’t be Laura, but she could at least give him that.
She’d be honored to give him that.
Slowly, so he wouldn’t feel trapped, she wrapped herself in the blanket at the foot of the bed and scooted over so she was on her knees on the mattress in front of him. They were equal height like this, allowing her to look him directly in the eyes.
“Now,” she said softly, “tell me how it was supposed to be.” Holding the blanket closed with one hand, she cupped his cheek with the other. He stiffened, but at least he didn’t pull away. She leaned in, until she was a mere inch from his lips. “I assume you planned to start by kissing?”
He hesitated, and her gut dropped. She wanted this more than she’d ever wanted anything. Her first time had been a drunken fumble-fest with Brad Fisher, captain of the high school football team, in the backseat of his car, and she’d never really taken it slow with anyone. She wasn’t one for cuddling or being romantic, and she’d always been more about the goal than the journey to get there.
But for the first time, the journey was the goal.
“Yes,” he finally said, closing the distance between their mouths. His kiss was unsure at first, so delicate that his lips could have been butterfly wings. But as she melted into him, he deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping along the seam of her lips. Like a total pro, he slid his hand around to her neck, caressing her skin, kneading her into putty.
“And then?” she murmured against his mouth.
He nipped her bottom lip, the pinch of pain shooting straight to her core and making her moan. “And then I’d strip her.”
Pulling back, he peeled her fingers from the blanket. It fell away, pooling around her knees. His gaze raked her, and she held her breath. What did he think of her? Did her body match up to Laura’s? Shit. She wasn’t used to being self-conscious, but then, she wasn’t used to being reincarnated, either.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice as thick with need as his cock, which jutted upward in a graceful arc that made her mouth water.
“Now what?” Please say you want me to take you in my mouth.
“Kiss me again.” Somehow, that was even better, and her heart fluttered with happiness. He stepped into her until his knees hit the mattress and his erection pressed into her belly, her breasts into his chest. “Like you mean it.”
She slanted her mouth over his. “I mean it,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
He kissed back, hard, his tongue pushing past her lips and teeth to thrust against hers. One arm came around her back to brace her as he lifted her up and laid them both down on the bed so he was half-on, half-off of her, one big leg tucked between hers. All the while, he kissed her senseless, never breaking contact. But as he gripped her hip to tug them closer together, he raised his head and looked down at her, his gaze glowing with need.
“I want to explore you,” he said, and she grinned, desire spiraling wildly through her. Now he was talking.
Still, she didn’t want to come across as too forward...not yet, anyway. She’d definitely introduce him to her adventurous, uninhibited side, but later.
She slid her hand over the firm muscles in his back to the even firmer muscles in his ass and gave him a playful squeeze. “Explore all you want.”
Beneath his skin, he quivered. God, she loved his reactions to her. Loved how he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, as if grounding himself in this moment before dropping his mouth to her throat. He nuzzled her, kissing and licking, as he cupped her breast in one hand.
She arched into his touch, telling him without words that he didn’t need to treat her like a fragile piece of crystal. He got the hint, caressing her breast with more pressure, flicking and pinching her nipple with his fingers as he kissed a hot path from her neck to collar bone. His hips rolled slowly, rubbing his erection against her hip, mimicking what she wanted him to do between her legs.
Her sex throbbed at the thought, and she bit back a growl of frustration. Then he sucked her breast into his mouth, and she sighed with pleasure. Gently, he swirled his tongue around her swollen nipple as he shifted to cup both breasts, massaging and stroking.
“That’s so good,” she moaned, and he smiled against her skin.
He worked his way lower, kissing as he went. But as his lips found the hollow of her belly, he slowed, as if he wasn’t sure how she’d react if he kept going. To help him along, she shifted and spread her legs so he was forced to settle between them.
Taking her cue, he dragged his tongue down until he reached the top of her cleft. His hands trembled as he wrapped them around her thighs and pulled her open for his hungry gaze. The tips of his fangs peeked out from his parted lips, and she suddenly wanted him to bite her. She’d slept with a guy with fangs once, but she hadn’t allowed him to penetrate her with them.
Zhubaal could use his any way he wanted to.
He licked his lips, his eyes feasting on her waiting flesh. “I’m not sure...”
“Yes,” she said quickly. “You’re sure. You can do it. Please do it.” God, his tongue was made to do it.
His smoldering gaze snapped up to hers. “Oh, I plan to.” He flicked his tongue over a fang, and her breath left her in a rush. “I’m just not sure she would have let me.”
Laura was a fucking fool. “I’ll let you do anything you want,” she murmured, and then she lost her voice as he lowered his mouth to her core and his warm breath bathed her in shivery sensation.
His tongue slipped out to taste her so delicately she barely felt it. It was so sweet the way he was exploring so gently, but she wasn’t made of eggshells. Still, this was his first time, and he needed to find his way.
He kissed her lightly, maddeningly lightly. His lips feathered over her, nibbling but not tasting. He scooted down so he could adjust his hands to lift her hips, spreading her wider as her legs fell open. When his lips touched her again, it was with another delicate kiss before he tilted his head and drew his tongue up the crease between her sex and her thigh.
So close, and yet...she whimpered at his diabolical torture.
He explored her relentlessly, licking and kissing her inner thighs and the outer-most regions of her sex, teased her so well that when his tongue finally clipped her clit, she cried out and startled him.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” she breathed, shoving his head back down. “You stopped. Not okay.”
He chuckled against her, his lips tickling her before he opened his mouth over her core and licked her with the flat of his tongue. She cried out again as the tip flicked over her hypersensitive knot of nerves.
“You taste like ambrosia,” he whispered against her core. “I love this.”
Not nearly as much as she did.
Bolder now, he lapped at her with increasing enthusiasm, varying his speed and the pattern of his tongue, and she came off the bed when he plunged it deep inside and swirled it while she squirmed and thrashed.
“Tell me what you want.” His voice was a guttural, resonant growl that shivered through all her feminine parts.
“Just keep doing what you’re doing.” She spoke between halting, panting breaths. “But stroke yourself while you’re doing it. I want to see how you jerk off,” she breathed, “so I can do it for you later.”
His head popped up, his half-lidded eyes blinking.
For a heartbeat she thought she’d crossed some sort of Laura wouldn’t do this line that would snap him out of what they were doing. But an eager rumble rose up in his throat as he palmed his cock and dropped his head between her legs again.
Oh...yes. She couldn’t really see him stroking himself, but she loved imagining his hand wrapped around that thick erection, the fat, plum head pumping in and out of his fist. His tongue lashed at her, dipping inside her and circling her clit, but when he latched on and sucked, she couldn’t take it anymore.
She shouted in ecstasy, the climax ripping her apart over and over. He might not be experienced, but he had one hell of an erotic instinct.
Which he proved by licking her gently, bringing her down slowly until she was too sensitive to handle it. He pressed his lips against her in a final, lingering kiss, and when he lifted his head, the hunger in his eyes nearly undid her again.
A soft growl rattled the air as he prowled his way up her body, his gaze locked on hers, the tips of his fangs visible between his glistening lips.
“That was amazing,” she said hoarsely.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” He paused to lap at her breast. “But I like learning. I like listening to how your breathing changes depending on what I’m doing with my tongue. I could do that for hours.”
Oh, jackpot.
“I’d let you do that for hours.” She reached between them and found his cock. As her fingers closed around it, he moaned. Smiling, she guided him to her entrance. But just as the blunt tip touched her heated flesh, he locked up, his body trembling.
“Zhubaal?” She stroked his neck, and he let out a little purr that rumbled all her erogenous zones. “What is it?”
He looked down at her. “I’m savoring this.” He pushed his hips forward, just enough for the head of his cock to dip inside her, and he moaned. “Also, I don’t want to embarrass myself.” His sex-swollen lips tipped up in a self-deprecating smile, and then his head fell back as he lowered himself between her legs.