“When did you turn into a fortune cookie?” Josh asked her.
“When did you get a girlfriend?” Emily countered.
“For the last time, she’s not my girlfriend,” said Josh.
“Stella said you kissed her,” Emily pressed.
He was busted. But how? He and Charlie were always careful not to do anything like that where people might see them who shouldn’t. “She never saw that,” Josh said. “Because it never happened.”
“Stella said she saw you,” Emily said stubbornly.
“Did she get a picture of it?” asked Josh.
He saw the expression on Emily’s face falter. He’d caught her. Stella might have seen him with Charlie, but she’d never seen them kiss.
“She’s still your girlfriend,” Emily said. “I know she is.”
“You just keep thinking that,” said Josh. “But don’t go telling anyone things you can’t prove.”
“Maybe,” his sister said, clearly annoyed that she’d been beaten.
“Hey,” he said. “You want to watch a holofilm after dinner? I’ll even let you pick.”
Emily’s face lit up. “Yes!” she said. “And I know just what I want to see.”
“Nothing with princesses or dancing,” Josh warned her.
Emily made a disgusted face. “What do I look like, an eight-year-old?” she said. “I want to see that documentary about the sharks they found in the Hell Sea on Mars.”
Josh groaned. “Haven’t you seen that, like, twelve times?” he asked.
“Thirteen,” Emily corrected. “But I can watch it over and over. Those sharks are amazing. I mean, come on, they practically have lava for blood. What’s not to love?”
“All right,” said Josh. “We can watch your stupid sharks. Now get out of here. I have some stuff to do.”
When Emily was gone, Josh lay back down and closed his eyes. Why had he and Charlie been so careless? Maybe it was time for them to just tell people they were together. Charlie said it was against Clatter’s rules, but maybe he would make an exception.
Then again, the mood on the team had been a little strange. Stash still hadn’t come back, and not only had Bess been injured in that afternoon’s game, Freya had taken a bite when a meatbag hiding underwater in one of the sewers had jumped up and grabbed her from behind. So now they were down three team members. Maybe it’s not the best time to try to bend the rules, Josh decided.
Then there was the Firecracker situation. It had been really hard for Josh to ignore his best friend, especially since they had a couple of classes together. But after Firecracker had tried to talk to him a few times and Josh had made it clear he wasn’t going to talk, they had each started pretending that the other didn’t exist. In class they sat as far apart as possible, and Josh had started eating lunch in an unused classroom in the school’s lower level. Sometimes he had to share it with one or two of the stoners who liked to spend the lunch hour high on virtual-reality drugs, but they were mostly okay.
He knew that he was partly to blame for what had happened between him and Firecracker. It was only natural that Firecracker was curious. But now it was too late to apologize.
Or is it? he asked himself. Why couldn’t he tell Firecracker he was sorry? He didn’t have to tell him everything. He could just tell him about Charlie, and say that he was afraid she would get in trouble if anyone knew about them. That was sort of a good explanation for Josh’s behavior that day.
He got up, went to his desk, and punched Firecracker’s number into the com terminal. After three notifications the screen lit up and Josh found himself looking at the face of Firecracker’s uncle, who he and Poppy lived with. He was a timid, nervous man, but when he saw Josh he smiled.
“Josh!” he said, sounding relieved.
“Hi, Mr. Reilly,” said Josh. “Is Firecracker there?”
A worried look crossed the man’s face. “No,” he answered. “Isn’t he there with you?”
“No,” Josh said.
“He said he was staying over at your house tonight to work on a project for school,” Mr. Reilly said.
Josh didn’t know what to say. Why would Firecracker tell his uncle he was staying over at Josh’s house? More important, where had he really gone? It wasn’t like him to lie to his uncle. But Josh didn’t want to upset Mr. Reilly, so he said, “I remember now. He was going to stop by our friend Mac’s house and try out a new game. Then he’s coming here. Duh. I totally forgot.”
Mr. Reilly sighed, visibly relieved. “That’s what I thought,” he said.
“I’m sorry I bothered you,” Josh said. “Have a good night, Mr. Reilly.”
“You too, Josh. Tell Peter to call me when he gets in.”
“Sure thing,” said Josh, and cut off the comlink. He leaned back in his desk chair.
Things weren’t adding up. Firecracker wouldn’t just disappear. But now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen him at school that day either. He’d assumed Firecracker was sick or had a dentist’s appointment or something. Now he worried that something bad might have happened to him.
A terrible thought came to him … but it was the only possible answer.
“Charlie told Scrawl about Firecracker following me,” Josh whispered as a cold, hard knot gripped his insides.
16
“It’s Josh.”
“Hey,” Charlie said. “I was going to send you a video message later.”
“Did you tell anyone about Firecracker following me?” Josh asked her.
A flicker of fear crossed Charlie’s face. She recovered quickly, but Josh had seen it. “You did, didn’t you?”
“What makes you think that?” said Charlie. She cleared her throat.
“Firecracker is missing,” Josh said. “And I think Scrawl has something to do with it.”
“Scrawl?” said Charlie. “What would Scrawl have to do with Firecracker?”
“I was hoping you could tell me,” Josh answered.
He watched Charlie’s face on the com screen, waiting for her reply. She looked down. For a long time she didn’t say anything. When she looked up again her eyes were clouded with fear. “I need to talk to you,” she said. “Not on com. In person.”
“Why can’t we talk here?” Josh asked.
“We just can’t,” said Charlie. “Please, Josh. Just meet me. I might know something about Firecracker.”
Josh hesitated. If Charlie knew something about his friend’s disappearance, why couldn’t she just tell him?
“Where?” he asked Charlie.
“Do you know where the Church of the Sorrowful Mother is?” Charlie answered.
“Yes,” said Josh.
“Meet me there in half an hour,” Charlie told him.
Josh hesitated for a moment. Should he trust Charlie? He wanted to. He needed to. But now he didn’t know. If she had told Scrawl about Firecracker, then how could he believe anything she told him?
He looked at the clock. It was seven-thirty. If he hurried, he could get to Three Sisters Square and back before ten. He had no choice. He grabbed his jacket and knit hat and left his room. Nobody was in the living room, so he didn’t bother telling anyone he was going out. He would be back before they noticed anyway.
It was raining again, and he wished he’d remembered to bring an umbrella. He pulled his hat down, but still he got wet. He didn’t care, though. He just wanted to get to the church and talk to Charlie. Hopefully she would know where Firecracker was.
He decided to take the hoverbus. Because of the rain, most people were heading underground. Only a few chose to stand at the curb getting wet. But Josh saw the blinking blue lights of a city hoverbus only a block away, so he joined the small group at the stop. He watched the bus approach, the jets on its underside emitting streams of warm air that kept it floating several feet above the street. In the cold the air turned to steam, giving the bus the appearance of an angry dragon. When it came to a stop, Josh got on and took a seat near the back door.
The r
ide took twenty minutes. It was raining even harder when Josh got off at Three Sisters Square, but the Church of the Sorrowful Mother wasn’t far. Josh ran across the square, which was filled with penitents standing in the rain mumbling the strange chants of their religion. Their eyes were closed, and they took no notice of him as he ran up the stairs and passed through the huge stone archway above which the Mother stood, her hands covering her eyes.
Inside, the church smelled of incense and old wax. Oil lamps, centuries old, hung on long chains from the vaulted ceiling, their flames sending up plumes of black smoke. All along the stone sides of the sanctuary, stained-glass windows depicted strange scenes from the life of the Mother. Josh had studied some of them in his religious history class at school, but he had long since forgotten what they were.
Several anchorites were gathered around the circular stone altar at the front of the church. The altar was strewn with pink, red, and white roses, and the women were chanting in low voices. Josh wondered what the anchorites were saying. Supposedly they spoke a language only they understood.
He looked around for Charlie and spotted her kneeling before a low wall covered in white candles. As Josh watched, she lit one of the candles, held it in her hand as she said something, then placed it on the wall beside the others. Then she stood up and turned around. When she saw Josh, she smiled and walked toward him.
“It’s for my mother,” she said. “The candle. I light one for her every week.”
“Oh,” said Josh. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond.
“She was Gaian,” Charlie explained. “I mean, she is Gaian.” She smiled sadly.
“What does the candle do?”
Charlie laughed. “I don’t know. Sends out light and happiness or something.”
Josh nodded. Now that he was face-to-face with Charlie, he almost forgot why he was there. She was so pretty, with her wet hair shining in the candlelight. You’re here for Firecracker, he reminded himself. And she knows something about him.
“So what about Firecracker?” he said.
“Not here,” said Charlie, looking around. “Come with me.”
She walked along the side of the sanctuary. Josh hesitated a moment. Charlie looked back and nodded for him to follow.
They passed the chanting anchorites and entered a low-ceilinged hallway built out of the same stone as the rest of the church. The hallway curved around the back of the sanctuary. Every twenty feet or so was a heavy wooden door with a small window about five feet up. Josh noticed that some of the windows were covered by solid metal plates. Charlie stopped before one of the doors with an open window, looked inside, and pushed the door open. She entered while Josh stood in the doorway, looking at the room beyond. It was small, no more than eight feet long by five feet wide, and it was completely bare.
“What is this?” he asked Charlie.
“A prayer room,” Charlie said. “Come in.”
Josh stepped into the room, and Charlie shut the door. She slid a heavy iron deadbolt into place and then slid the metal covering on the door’s window closed.
“People come in here to pray or meditate,” Charlie explained. “The anchorites sleep in these rooms at night. Well, some of them do, anyway.”
“It’s like being in a tomb,” said Josh. He ran his hands over the stone walls. They were cold and damp. He couldn’t see how anyone could sleep in such a place.
“You asked me if I told Scrawl about Firecracker,” Charlie began. Josh looked at her. She wasn’t looking away from him now. “I did,” she said.
Josh shook his head. “Why would you—”
“He followed me,” said Charlie.
Josh stood there, not sure he’d heard her correctly. “Followed you?” he said. “When?”
“A few days ago,” Charlie said. “I was walking home, and he just appeared out of nowhere. He said he’d seen you talking to me on the train.”
Stella said she saw us on the train, Josh thought.
“He wanted to know who I was,” Charlie continued. “He wanted to know what you and I were doing together.” She was talking more quickly now. “He accused me of … of … being some kind of bad influence on you.”
“What did you tell him?” Josh asked.
Charlie shook her head. “He was yelling,” she said. “I didn’t know what to say.” She looked at Josh. “So I ran.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know,” Charlie said.
Josh sighed. “But you told Scrawl.”
“Yes. I just wanted him to know that someone might be trying to track us,” said Charlie. “We’re supposed to tell him when—”
“What did he do?” Josh said, interrupting her. “What did Scrawl do?”
“I think he just wanted to scare him,” said Charlie.
“Scare him?” Josh said. “What, into not following you? Into forgetting that he saw us together? That doesn’t make any sense, Charlie.”
She turned away from him, saying nothing. Josh stared at her back, waiting for an answer. When she finally turned around, she was crying. “You don’t understand,” she said, wiping her nose with her hand. “But it’s not your fault. I should have told you.”
“Told me what?” Josh asked.
Charlie bit her lip. “It’s not just the game that Clatter doesn’t want anyone to know about,” she said. “There’s something else.”
“What something else?” said Josh.
Charlie crouched down and put her head in her hands. “You’re going to hate me,” she said quietly.
Josh crouched beside her. “I won’t hate you,” he told her. “But you have to tell me.”
Charlie looked at him through tear-stained eyes. “It’s the Z,” she said, her voice hoarse. “He doesn’t want anyone to know about the Z.”
It took Josh a moment to put the pieces together. “You get the Z from Clatter,” he said. “That’s it, isn’t it?”
“We all do,” said Charlie. “Everyone who plays. He makes it and gives it to us.”
“And he doesn’t want anyone to find out that he makes it,” Josh said.
“Right,” Charlie said. “He gives it to us and also sells it to his customers who bet on the game. He’s going to start selling it on the streets, too, and he’ll make a lot of money. But if anyone finds out, he’ll probably go to jail, and the game will be shut down.”
Josh stood up. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
Charlie stood up and pushed her hair back. “Before I tell you, you have to know something.”
Josh didn’t respond. “Everything I feel about you is real,” she said. “Everything about us is real. I’ve never lied about that.” She laughed. “Believe me, it would be easier for both of us if I were lying. But I really like you, Josh.” She paused for a long moment. “You believe me, don’t you?”
Josh looked at her worried eyes and her shaking hands. He did believe her. “I do,” he said.
“Like I said, Clatter gives Z to everyone on the team,” she said. “The only one who doesn’t take it is Scrawl. He says it makes him feel sick. Anyway, Clatter doesn’t make us pay for it, but …”
“But?” Josh encouraged her.
“But after a while he calls in a favor,” Charlie said.
Josh didn’t understand. “What kind of favor?”
“He makes us find a new person for the team,” said Charlie. “If we don’t, he cuts us off. And believe me, it isn’t pretty when that happens. Bess refused to do it, and you saw what happened to her.”
“Bess?” said Josh. “What are you talking about? He saved Bess.”
Charlie shook her head. “No, he didn’t,” she said. “He killed her because she wouldn’t recruit for him. He sent her into the tunnels knowing she wouldn’t let the rest of us die. He didn’t get to her in time, Josh. He never even tried. He let her drown.”
“No,” Josh said. “You’re lying. He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t let one of us die.”
“He?
??s done it before,” Charlie said. “You don’t know what he’s really like, Josh. You have no idea.”
Josh felt the air leave his lungs. Was Charlie telling the truth? Was Bess really dead? And was Clatter responsible? He couldn’t believe it.
Then something else she’d said clicked into place. “You’re telling me you recruited me as payment to Clatter for the Z?” he asked.
Charlie nodded slowly. “Yes,” she said. “That’s what I’m telling you.”
17
Josh ran through the rain, not caring where he went. He just wanted to get away from Charlie. She followed him for two blocks, calling for him to stop, but he lost her by getting on a hoverbus and then, just as the doors were closing, pushing his way off through the back door. The last he’d seen of Charlie, she had her face pressed against the bus window, yelling his name.
His heart was pounding, and he felt like he might throw up. Charlie had used him to pay Clatter for her Z. If what she said was true, soon enough Clatter would demand that he do the same thing. And all this time Charlie had been telling him not to mention Z to anyone on the team. She really played me, he thought.
He looked around, trying to get his bearings. He had run eastward away from Three Sisters Square and was now a block away from Midcity Park. He could walk through it, exit through the south end, and be only a couple of blocks from his house. But how could he go home when his best friend was missing? His whole life had been sent into a tailspin.
The rain had chased most people out of the park, and the ones who remained were mainly Dusters (who never seemed to notice the weather), Boarders using the empty paths as raceways, and the occasional person walking a dog.
He stuffed his hands into his pockets, and his fingers landed on something small and hard. He pulled out the tablet of Z and looked at it. He started to throw it onto the ground, but found he couldn’t do it. Despite the hatred he had for Z at that moment, the memory of how it helped him be a better player—and how it made him feel good even when he wasn’t playing—made it impossible for him to just let go.
Instead, he took it.