The undead are mindless creatures and the majority of them can’t construct a coherent plan except drone around the entrance their prey barricaded. Chances were slim that any of them would use their rotting brains to think about going to the backdoor of a building. The clown was an exception. He might have been a different class of undead since he didn’t attack mindlessly.
Henry carefully pushed open the backdoor and peeked out into the alley. A moment later he motioned with a wave of his hand that the coast was clear and we could step out. We followed him into the alley and I took it upon myself to step up and lead them to safety. I was, after all, the one with the super strength when it came to killing zombies.
“I can’t believe you took that thing.” Henry whispered.
I looked down at the giant pink dildo in my hand. It was a formidable weapon and could be great in hand to hand combat. I held it up by the shaft with the rubber testicles at the top (like holding a giant, pink hammer).
“This is a deadly weapon.” I whispered back, “You saw back there with the clown.”
“Sexual assault with a deadly weapon.” Fred joked.
I chuckled and we continued toward the street at the end of the alley.
“You have a whip and a pink dildo.” Fred whispered, “Does that make you a dominatrix?”
Henry and Fred chuckled.
“Keep it down.” I said, “The undead might hear you.”
Fred cleared his throat and stopped joking around.
“So why is your daughter in a cemetery?” Henry whispered.
“She was held hostage by someone.” Fred whispered back.
“Shit,” Henry said hushed, “I’m sorry man.”
I shushed them as we got to the end of the alley. I kept as close to the wall as I could and then peeked around the corner into the street. The street was abandoned in both directions.
“It’s clear.” I whispered.
I motioned for them to follow me out into the street. The street was deserted; there wasn’t even one single car in the street. Why is it when you need something you don’t find it with ease? We would have to risk walking up and down looking for a car.
We turned left into Felix Street which was just as abandoned. No cars or undead in sight.
“This is ridiculous.” I said with a sigh, “We might just as well walk to the cemetery.”
“How far is it?” Fred asked.
“About another block south.” I said.
We might just as well have walked to the cemetery, but what if we got overrun? How could we outrun the undead? Would the little girl be able to keep up?
Fred scrutinized our surroundings (the little he could see by moonlight) as we continued down the street. He could care less about finding a car. He was a father and a father cared more about finding his daughter.
“We should walk.” Fred said, “We’ll make it.”
I nodded and we continued down the street towards the cemetery. Cemeteries were naturally creepy places. It was not only the place where the dead rested, but the epitaphs told you a bit more about people you never knew or cared about. Cemeteries usually had trees just as dead as the corpses in the ground and a gate that groaned when it opened, but not Kingston Valley Cemetery. It had a brand spanking new gate that made no noise when opened, green and plush trees lined the cobble pathways in between the headstones and there were no dead flowers on any grave. Kingston Valley Cemetery was a place of eternal rest for more than a thousand of its residents of old and would one day – hopefully be the resting place of many more to come.
I stared at the graves as we walked down the pathway. Not one grave seemed disturbed, which meant that none of the dead had risen from the grave.
“This graveyard is a step up from the one we have over in Petersville.” Fred said astonished.
Three mausoleums stood to the south of the cemetery and we made our way in that direction.
“The graves are undisturbed.” Henry noted.
“Guess it truly is a place of eternal rest.” I said.
We each walked over to a mausoleum; the one I picked had engravings depicting a battle between angels and demons on its pillars. We each knocked on the door of the mausoleums and waited for a response. I heard a faint whimper from inside the mausoleum in front of me.
“She’s in here.” I said.
I stepped back and kicked the door in as the other two ran over to me. I stepped into the mausoleum, but it was empty except for an elevated coffin to the left.
“Dharma?” Fred called out as he rushed over.
The mausoleum was empty, but I was almost certain I heard someone. Fred rushed into the mausoleum and searched around.
“She’s not here.” I said baffled.
We both stared at the coffin as its lid slowly opened and a bony hand slithered out. I guess I was wrong; there was no more eternal rest.
“Let’s get going.” I said.
We stepped out of the mausoleum and a scream echoed all around us.
“It came from over there.” Henry said and pointed at the next mausoleum.
We all ran over to the next mausoleum and Fred and Henry stepped back in order for me to kick in the door. The door splintered on impact and I stepped into the mausoleum. To my left I saw a little girl cowering in the corner as she screamed. Fred rushed in and grabbed her. To my right I saw a bony zombie climb out of the coffin as its teeth chomped at the air.
“It’s alright.” Fred said to Dharma, “Daddy’s here.”
She stopped screaming and started crying with relief as she embraced her father. I walked over to the zombie, grabbed it by the lower jaw and jerked its head clean off. The bag of bones fell out of the coffin and onto the ground where I dropped the severed skull.
“Is she alright?” I asked.
“Yes.” Fred said relieved, “Just rattled.”
“Does she have bite marks?” I asked, “Or any scratches?”
Fred inspected her and said, “No.”
“Good.” I said with a sigh of relief, “We should get back to the hospital though.”
Fred nodded and picked Dharma up as he got to his feet. He embraced her as tightly as he could and wanted her to feel that he would never let her go again. I did a good thing reuniting a father with his lost daughter. All was not lost in the world of the dead, there was still hope and as long as hope was alive we would be alright.
We stepped out of the mausoleum and then there was a loud bang somewhere in the dark.
“What was that?” Fred asked nervously.
We all searched the night for the source of the sound as a coffin lid slammed into the ground at an angle. Fred jumped back; the coffin lid missed us by a few feet. I stared at the casket lid impaled into the ground as dirt rained down on us. I searched the darkness in front of us and spotted dust settling over a grave a few walkways down.
“Over there.” I said.
We all watched as a bony zombie slowly climbed out of the grave. The grave next to it exploded in a cloud of dust and then another coffin lid slammed into the ground a few feet away.
“What the hell is happening?” Henry asked.
“The dead are rising.” Fred said.
Dharma whimpered and buried her head in her father’s chest.
As the dirt settled over the second grave another grave exploded followed by a fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh grave. As their coffin lids came raining down, the bony zombies slowly crawled out of their graves. Our presence must have disturbed their sleep and now they were hungry for flesh.
“We should get going.” I insisted.
We hurried down the pathway which would ultimately lead us to the gate. More and more graves exploded into clouds of dirt as the zombies crawled out of their graves. Dharma kept her head buried in her dad’s shoulder, but let out a scream every time a new grave exploded.
“Hurry up!” I yelled at the others.
I spotted a grave exploding next to us and a zombie shot up into the sky along wi
th the dirt. It came crashing down into a heap of broken bones, but that didn’t stop it from crawling after us.
Henry looked back over his shoulder and whined when he saw the group of bony zombies running after us. I looked back and noticed that they were faster than zombies with flesh – perhaps because rigor mortis affected the tissue and they no longer had any flesh to cover their bones.
“Hurry up!” I called out
The gate was just in reach. More and more graves exploded and dirt rained down on us as it settled. Some of the bony zombies catapulted out of the ground while others climbed out. I reached the gate first and held it open while I waited for the others.
“Move your asses!” I yelled out.
Fred and Henry ran as fast as they could and hurried out through the gate. I shut the gate and stepped back. The bony zombies slammed up against the gate, reaching through the bars as they tried to claw at us.
Henry gasped for air and said, “This is insane! I hate zombies!”
One of the bony zombies tried to fit its skull through the bars, but got stuck. I figured since they no longer had brains, they would not be able to figure out how to open a gate… but I was wrong. One of the bony zombies grasped the handle of the gate and turned it.
“Time to go.” I said swiftly.
“How are we going to outrun these things?” Henry asked
I grabbed the pink dildo and bashed in the skull of the bony zombie that opened the gate and pulled it shut.
“Please.” Fred pleaded, “Don’t use that thing in front of my daughter.”
I stared at Fred and then at the pink dildo in my hands before tossing it into the group of zombies. The dildo pulverised the chest of one zombie as it shot through the group.
“Time to go.” I said calmly.
“Where do you get your strength from?” Henry asked as we left.