bumper at another corpse, slicing its head in half just above the ear.
“Just answer the question!” I called back.
“If we survive this,” Michelle called out, “Then yes. I would like to date you.”
Those were the words I’ve been longing to hear all my life. Finally a girl was showing interest in me!
Another corpse approached and I stabbed the bumper straight through its skull, pulled it free and then decapitated another corpse.
“Do you trust me then?” I called out.
“What?” Michelle asked confused.
“Do you trust me?” I called out again.
“Of course!” She called back, “I am here with your, aren’t I?”
That was all I needed to hear.
“Climb onto the trunk of the car.” I called out.
“What?” Michelle called back, “Are you serious?”
“I thought you trusted me?” I called back
I swung the bumper at another approaching corpse and sliced it in half just above the shoulders. Man, I was getting good with chopping corpses! Who knew I had such incredible strength? I could get used to this!
“Now what?” I head Michelle call out.
I looked back over my shoulder and saw that she sat crouched down on the trunk of the car. I decapitated one last corpse and then turned back towards her.
“Brace yourself!” I called out.
“For what?” She called out worried.
I ran over to the car, balled my right hand into a fist and with all of my might punched the hood of the car. The metal bent beneath my fist, the front tyres burst and the car summersaulted forward, sending Michelle flying through the air. She screamed all the way. I watched in anticipation, not knowing whether my plan would work.
Michelle jetted towards the tree and landed safely in some branches. She was beyond the group of infected. A corpse growled pretty close to me, making me spin around and witnessing just as the car fell onto its roof and crushing the corpse. I stumbled back a few feet. That was a close call!
“Are you insane?” Michelle called out from the tree.
“I just might be!” I called out with a smile. “Climb down and get to my house! Number 402!”
“What about you?” She called back.
I spotted an infected corpse getting a bit too close and I bashed its head in with the bumper.
“I’ll meet you there!” I called out, “I just want to cut this group down to size.”
I kept my focus on the group of corpses and one by one slayed them as they approached. From the corner of my eye I saw Michelle climbing out of the tree and tiptoeing down the street towards my house.
I raised the bumper and tightened my grip as another forty corpses approached me, growling and drooling blood all the way.
“Bring it on.” I warned them.
12
With one mighty blow I slayed the last of the corpses. I stood a moment, trying to catch my breath and glanced down at the array of slain corpses around my feet. They all came at me without warning, but I was able to put every last one of them down.
I wiped the blood off my face. Slaying the undead was a messy job, but someone’s got to do it.
I analysed my surroundings to make sure there weren’t any looming dangers and then I jogged over to my house. I dropped the bumper on the lawn. It was severely bent out of shape and was of no use to me anymore.
“Mom!” I called out half hushed, “Michelle!”
The front door stood open. It was the last thing I wanted to see. Why was the front door open? I slowed down to a steady pace and walked up to the door with caution.
“Hello?” I said.
There was no answer. I stepped inside the house and looked around. Everything was as it were when I left for school. Nothing seemed out of place.
“Mom?” I called out, “Michelle?”
Why was nobody answering me?
I rushed into the kitchen and found Michelle standing there.
“Michelle?” I asked confused, “Where is my mom?”
“She’s not here.” Michelle said dreadfully.
“What do you mean?” I asked worried.
“I searched the entire house.” Michelle said, “There is no sign of her. There is no sign of a struggle either. I think it is safe to say that she got out before anything happened to her.”
What if something happened to her out there?
“Why would she just leave?” I asked concerned, “It makes no sense.”
I glanced at the clock up against the wall. It was nearly ten AM. Time flies when you’re killing the undead.
“I’m sure she is just fine.” Michelle said, “We will find her.”
Easy for you to be calm. Your mother is out of town. She is not missing during a zombie outbreak.
I nodded and tried to stay calm. There was no use roughing feathers with my new girlfriend… I like the sound of that – my new girlfriend. It makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. I could say it over and over and not get tired of saying it. My new girlfriend. My new girlfriend. My new girlfriend. My new girlfriend. My new girlfriend. My new girlfriend… okay, perhaps that is enough. I don’t want to wear it out.
“So what do we do now?” Michelle asked.
That was a good question. I was still relevantly new to killing the undead, but I knew that we would need weapons.
“We arm ourselves.” I said.
“With what?” Michelle asked.
“Anything you can find.” I said, “Knives?”
Knives? Really? Is that the only thing we own that can be used as a weapon? Do we really want the undead to get close enough for us to kill them with a knife? What if we missed? Knives were a stupid idea.
“Knives?” Michelle asked cynical of my suggestion.
“You’re right.” I said, “Bad idea.”
“Don’t you have a tool shed with garden shears or something?” Michelle asked.
“No.” I said.
We weren’t your typical love-gardening family. My mother had no gardening skills and I myself could kill a cactus. So no, we did not have a garden shed filled with gardening tools. It would have been cool though. In this one zombie movie the two guys went into the garden shed and used whatever they found to kill the zombies. They eventually used old vinyl records as Frisbees to kill the zombies. That movie scene stayed with me ever since. It was definitely worthy of winning a zombie kill award.
“So how are we going to protect ourselves?” Michelle asked.