She gently placed her first born into the hole. It was wrapped in her shawl, but she arranged the small body so that it wasn't defiled by the touch of Joshua's body.
***
"Hey! Melissa! Still planting willow trees? Is Josh about? I come to help him with the haulin'."
Arnie vaulted easily from his horse and walked toward the corner of the house. Melissa dropped the shovel and ran to meet him half-way. It had started to snow.
"Arnie, come in for a coffee," she panted. "Joshua is in town. What hauling were you going to do?" She took a deep breath and spoke calmly, smiling broadly and sweeping the curls from her face, straightening her wrinkled dress and gazing warmly at Arnie.
"I told Josh I'd help him haul some wood from the bush, back o' the house there. Can't imagine how he'd forgot that. What's he doin' in town? He asked me only yesterday. Coffee? I'd love some coffee, hot 'n' black."
Arnie admired Joshua's wife. He always hoped that Arnie would share her, like the other girls. She was slim and... slim?
He looked at her stomach. She was slim! She had had her baby!
"Doc Manner said you would have a girl," he said excitedly, expecting Melissa to confirm or deny. She just smiled. Arnie waited, staring intently at Melissa then, realizing that she wasn't about to say nothing, he continued. "Guess Josh weren't too happy hearin' that, but he'll get used to it, in time. I told him, I says, a gal is jest as good as a boy, but ol' Josh he was real fired up and hoppin' mad."
Arnie followed Melissa into the house and sat at the table in the small kitchen. She smiled as she poured the hot water into the pot. "He got over it soon enough," she said. "Here, have a cup of fresh coffee."
Arnie drank the coffee in several quick slurps. "You shouldn't oughta be diggin' in the garden you know. I'll jest go out there and finish yer diggin' for yuh."
"No! I mean ... it's finished, now. I'll wait for Joshua to come home. He can put the tree in. It's his tree you know. I planted roses but he wanted... he insisted on a tree. Not just any tree, had to be a willow."
Arnie grinned and rose from the table. "Yup. That's Josh alright. Got everythin' figured down to the last sliver. Well Melly, gotta go. Tell Josh I been here."
"Yes," sighed Melissa. "Joshua planned for everything, almost ."
Arnie walked to the front door and looked back at Melissa. She sure was a pretty gal. Dainty, petite, just a piece of fluff. Why didn't she speak of the baby? He waved and left.
Melissa watched through the window. Arnie walked partway down the path, his footprints clear in the newly fallen snow, then he turned and looked at the willow tree and the open hole. He paused, then began to walk toward the shovel leaning against the house. Melissa ran to the door.
"Arnie, please leave it for Joshua! He asked me to let him plant the tree, his tree. He'd be mad if it was already planted, you know Josh." She smiled, a sweet and pretty smile and Arnie nodded.
"Yeah, I know ol' Josh," he said shaking his head. He turned and continued down the walk toward his horse, tied to the hitching post by the road. He waved again as he disappeared over the hill.
Melissa looked at the hole and walked over to fill it with dirt. The body had been covered with a light covering of snow, but the bloody nose still showed, and the eyes looked open again. She pushed the first shovel of dirt onto his face.
After a time she pushed the slim willow into the hole and stamped on the dirt around the base. She finished just as the sun vanished behind a cloud. She looked up at the darkening sky. It was going to snow again. They had been predicting it for several days. It was going to be a real heavy snow. She stamped the ground once more and went inside to light a fire and rest. Tonight she would make a nice hot stew with potatoes from the root cellar and carrots and squash and some of the venison which hung in the shed. Tonight she would sleep soundly, she and her baby girl. Tomorrow she would go to town and buy groceries: bacon and sugar and flour and maybe some candy, some sweet chocolate. She loved sweet chocolate. And the Martin folk had puppies, so she might just pick one up. A brand new puppy. That was good.
She pulled open her blouse and the baby suckled contentedly, and Melissa closed her eyes and leaned back and smiled.
Life was good.
CHAPTER 3
Arnie Brubacher: December, 1895
It had begun to snow early in the morning and didn't let up until late in the afternoon. It was a gentle snow, but before long it was difficult to distinguish the road from the shoulders. Arnie Brubacher stared out the window, then at his pocket watch: 4 o'clock. He had been staring out the window for some time. It was Christmas Eve and he was alone. Tomorrow it would be Christmas and he would still be alone. Last year at this time Joshua Kumar had invited him for a turkey dinner; Melly made a fine dinner with sweet potatoes and kale and Brussel sprouts. She had asked him to collect the kale from out back, covered in snow. It’s best after a frost, she had said.
This year he would be alone. Melissa would be alone too.
Josh had left Melly and not returned. Josh was a fool, a crazy fool. Josh had everything a man could want: a fine house, work at the mill and a pretty wife, a very pretty wife. Why would he give it all up? Why would he leave Melly? Somebody would be sure to come courtin' before long. Somebody, for sure.
Arnie leaned out of his chair, stood up and looked again at his watch. Melly would be alone too. She would sit alone at the table, eatin' alone. What would she be eatin' for Christmas? He could bring a turkey, the big tom out back. He could go to Melly and suggest that they eat together, a big turkey with stuffin' and sweet potatoes and kale. No, that would be wrong. Joshua would have to give him an invite. But Josh was gone. Left poor Melly and the baby alone. They would have to eat alone at Christmas, he and Melly. It wasn't right. Everybody needed somebody, at Christmas.
He walked to the door, pushed his feet into the tall boots, pulled his heavy coat from the rack and left. Maybe he should walk. His horse could stay in the barn this Christmas Eve. If he showed up at Joshua's house without a horse then Melissa would say Arnie, you must stay for the night. It's such a long walk back. You really must stay for the night.
Arnie smiled and went around the back and into the barn and got himself the big turkey and lopped off its head and stuffed it into a burlap bag. Then he started to walk toward Joshua's house.
Melly was sure pretty and Josh was sure lucky and he, Arnie Brubacher, had no a wife, even one not so pretty. Sure, he had gone out with lots o' gals and they seemed to like him, but now that he thought back it was better, much better when Josh was around. Together they could always find some gals for the night, but ever since Josh went away, well it weren't so easy any more. Even after Josh got married up with Melly they would still go after the gals in the next county, which was more than Arnie could figure: Josh already had the prettiest gal in Waterloo County. But now Josh was gone and maybe Melly was a little bit lonely and needed somebody to look after her ... now that she had a baby and all. Especially at Christmas. Everybody needed somebody at Christmas, to share a meal and laugh together and drink hot wine by the fire.
Arnie walked through the early evening, kicking the little piles of snow on the road, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat, collar pulled high about his neck, the burlap bag tied around his waist. His parents hadn't thought Christmas was so special, just another day. He had to clean the barn, feed the chickens, brush down the horses and gather fire wood. No fancy dinner, no presents, just another working day. Then his Ma and Pa died, one right after t'other, and Aunt Paula had taken him to live with her. He didn't even know they were sick. They just died, first his Pa then, a week later, his Ma. His Pa was even chopping wood, just the day before he died. He didn't really know his Pa all that well, never talked much. Pa spent most evenings sitting by the window, looking over the weekly tabloid. Arnie was sure his Pa couldn't read, but he spent most evenings turning over them pages just the same.
Aunt Paula lived alone in a big old
house just outside the village, never got married and never seemed to know anybody outside the family. But she would say everybody needs somebody to share a meal at Christmas, so, come December, she would start on her cookies and Christmas day all his cousins showed up real early and the house was warm and filled with laughin' and they would have a big turkey dinner with all the trimmings then sit by the fire and tell stories and Aunt Paula would pass around the fancy box of little cookies. She never used that box for anything except those cookies and she never made them except at Christmas. The year she was real sick she still got out of bed and made those little cookies and when they all sat on the floor around the fire Aunt Paula was wrapped in that red blanket on the big old chair by the chimney with her eyes closed, and it wasn't until they all started talking about going to bed that they saw that she was dead.
Everybody needs somebody to share a meal at Christmas.
This Christmas he and Melly would share a meal. Arnie stopped and hitched up the burlap bag and tightened the knot, pushed his hands deep into his pockets again and started down the hill to Josh's house, smiling.
It was dark when he got there, but he could see a light from the window running warm and soft across the snow, almost to the road. Just one light, in the kitchen window. He walked up the driveway and around to the side of Josh's house and through the window he saw Melly at the stove. She was wearing a bright red dress and her hair was different, short and curly. And her lips, they were red; she was using red stuff on her lips and powder on her cheeks. He stared through the window for a long time. He had forgotten how pretty she was. Melly slid the pot off the stove and took a plate from the cupboard. Now was the time to knock on the door, just in time for supper. He walked quickly around to the front door stopping only for a moment to gaze at the small willow tree covered in snow.
"Arnie, what a nice surprise," said Melissa, stroking her hair and straightening her dress. "You must have some stew, hot from the stove. I was just about to eat and I would be pleased to have you join me."
"No Melly, I can't stay ... jest came 'cause I brought this tom turkey." He held the burlap bag at arms length, standing as tall as he could manage."Thought you might like -"
"Arnie Brubacher you come in this minute," she scolded. "And you will have some stew. Take off your coat, put it on the hook right there. The stove is hot and the kitchen is warm. Don't track snow into the kitchen. Put your big old boots there."
Arnie grinned and did as he was told. She sure was jest full o' fire.
He finished his plate of stew, filled with potatoes and turnips and beans and thick slices of bacon. Melissa placed the pot in front of him.
"You've a long way to go and it's cold. Dig into the pot. There's more hot stew at the bottom."
She sat back and watched him scooping out the last of the stew with a chunk of freshly baked bread. Finally he leaned back and grunted, placing his stubby hands on his stomach.
"Melly, you sure cook good. Never tasted a better stew. Josh ... he's jest a fool for runnin' off and leavin' you like this." Melissa hung her head and blushed. "You look fine Melly, very fine indeed. I ain't never seen you so pretty."
Arnie stared at her for a moment, grinning. Then, as though he had forgotten something, he jumped up and walked to the window, staring out across the moonlit fields covered in snow, cocking his head to one side.
"Hear that wind? Looks like it's gonna storm."
He looked at Melissa from the corner of his eye and continued. "That big tom turkey, it's for your Christmas supper. It's the last of my toms, but don't worry yourself none. Next Spring I'll get me some more from Jason over in Badenberg." Arnie paused and shook himself. "Did you ever see a wind like that? It's jest blowin' like it was in some big hurry." He looked at Melissa. She was clearing the table. "Well, guess I should head home ... walk home ... in that howlin' wind."
"Arnie, I thank you kindly for the turkey. You must come for supper tomorrow ... unless of course you have plans for Christmas?"
"No! No! None at all. I'd be most pleased to come for supper tomorrow. Indeed, yes. Everybody needs somebody ...," he started to say, then thought better of it and looked once more out the window and shivered. "Well, guess I should be walkin' home."
Melissa walked to the front door and Arnie followed. He put on his coat and slid into his boots, very slowly. She opened the door and he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek as she stood, her back to the wall.
"Mr. Brubacher! What are you thinking, kissing me like that? What if someone saw us?" She closed the door and leaned back against it, staring at Arnie, her hands behind her back, her body arched toward him, breasts pushing tight against her blouse. "I'm surprised at you ... what if someone -"
Arnie pulled her into his arms. "Melly, I need you, I love you. I've always loved you ever since ... since before ol' Josh married you." He blurted it out, stumbling over the words, held her tightly and she clung to him, then abruptly pushed him away and looked up at him.
"Mr. Arnie Brubacher. Take off your coat. It's much too cold to walk home tonight, especially in a storm. You'll stay the night and you'll split some firewood and you'll help me with the turkey tomorrow."
Arnie grinned, put his hand to his cheek, pulled at his nose, stepped back a step, took a deep breath, stumbled to the coat rack, put his heavy coat on the rack and slipped off his boots. His face was bright red, his eyes wide with delight. Melissa stood with her hands on her hips. He never saw her act with such authority. She was just wonderful. He backed awkwardly toward the kitchen, still looking at Melissa. She turned and stared out the strip of glass at the side of the front door. The night was calm and bright. There was no sign of any howling wind. She smiled, then followed Arnie into the kitchen.
"Melly? I can sleep in the living room, on the sofa. I don't even need a blanket, I'll be plenty warm with my coat. I'll just stay on the sofa -"
"Arnie," she said slowly, with exaggerated deliberation, "you will sleep with me tonight."
Arnie stopped talking, stopped breathing, his mouth open, and he stuttered. "Melly, in your ... do you mean ... uh -"
"Arnie Brubacher, tonight you will sleep with me ... in my bed."
Arnie closed his mouth, suddenly. His face lit up the room.
***
Arnie woke to the smell of hot coffee and bacon. He lay in bed, Joshua's bed, staring at the ceiling, hands behind his head. He went over the events of the previous night. Melissa was wonderful. How could he have imagined that she was just a piece of fluff? That's what Josh always said, but she was full of fire and brimstone. He arched his back, stretched, closed his eyes.
"Arnie Brubacher! Come down for breakfast!"
Arnie jumped out of bed so quickly he got tangled in the blankets and fell over the chair. He pulled on his pants and ran down the stairs, to the kitchen warmed by the stove, to the chair pulled out by the table. Melissa was filling his plate with a heap of eggs and potatoes fried in bacon fat, a steaming mug of black coffee beside the plate. She was humming and Arnie grinned then started right in on the potatoes. She blushed lightly and sat at the other chair and watched him eat. When he finished he took a long breath, then a long drink, gulping the hot coffee. He was almost afraid to look up at Melly. She was staring at him, he knew.
"Arnie Brubacher, I will show you something beautiful. You just wait." Melissa left and he pushed his chair back, watching her go, her dress blue and bright and tight all over. She shook her head, just a little shake as she left the room, and the short curls quivered on her head, shining in the morning sun now streaming through the window.
When she returned she carried a small yellow blanket with silk edges.
"See? My baby girl," Melissa whispered. Arnie would be the first to see her baby, a baby she had hidden, protected.
Arnie coughed and the coffee sprayed over his empty plate. "Melly," he stuttered, "it's a beautiful baby and you did have a gal jest like Doc Manner said you would 'cause I been wo
nderin' .. jest wonderin' when you'd say somethin' about yer baby 'cause ol' Josh ..."
Then Arnie looked about, frightened, as though he expected to see Joshua Kumar walk in, then he continued in a low voice. "Uh, I was thinkin' ... uh, I must go, after supper. What if Joshua comes home ... fer Christmas, I mean? If he finds me here he'll kill me fer sure. You know his temper. I'll come ag'in next week and - "
"No! You will stay tonight. Joshua will not come back. I can promise you that."
She spoke with such conviction, such authority that Arnie didn't know how to respond. He started to speak then just peered into his mug, then sipped coffee ... slowly, staring up at Melissa.
"I will tell you a story," she said. "After supper you will light the fire and I will tell you a story ... where Joshua went. He will not come back, I can promise you that. Then I will tell you about my baby girls."
Arnie sipped slowly, staring up at Melissa who was looking straight ahead, smiling pretty, the yellow bundle in her arms. She was so different.
Baby girls?
Had she said baby girls?
CHAPTER 4
Cassandra Brubacher: January, 1896
Arnie had been so concerned for Melissa's health, he had insisted that she stay in bed for several days, nursing the baby. He wasn't much of a cook, but he made all the meals and brought them to her bed on a wooden platter he found in the cupboard. She had refused at first, saying that she was perfectly capable of looking after her baby and herself; she had done just that for weeks now. But Arnie had insisted and she eventually agreed to do as he asked, taking her meals in bed then spending much of the remaining time sewing pink booties and knitting tiny outfits. He sat in the chair by the bed and watched her. Melissa's face was pink and seemed to glow all over and he was convinced that he never saw anything so beautiful. Just watching her was a pleasure and he did it often, even when she slept.