As my inner demons torment me and a storm of emotions crash through my mind; my soul is raped over and over by visions only an addicted body’s obsessions would ever play across the various faces of everyday life.
I pray for the inhuman strength to walk this path alone as I have been forsaken by all who once loved me and kissed by a mortal fate; I am left to mourn the loss of humanity in the depths of an insatiable ocean of pain and misery.
As the shadows of my haunted past force themselves upon my suffocating dreams I savagely fight for my innocence and hope; though I know it isn’t enough to save me from the darkness that has become my damned soul.
By: C. M. Hamilton
“As I”
As I sit I remember who I am and not who you wanted me to be.
As I sit looking at the light, I wonder why this life has passed me by in a swirl of colors.
As I wander through time in a daze I see the laughter and I wonder why I can not join in.
As I wander through my mind I wonder why I can’t think, can’t breathe.
As I dream I wonder why I am so alone, why the air weighs so much.
As I dream I see the suffering of my friends that is always my doing.
As I love I see my heart tearing and breaking my fragile hold on life.
As I love I give only tears of pain as it is all I have ever known.
As I watch the world my lips are bound in a fiery anger that tears me from God’s grace.
As I watch my emotions turn inward I realize I am suicide in its truest form.
As I sit, as I wander, as I dream, as I love, as I watch… the beauty of the light forgives.
By: C. M. Hamilton
“Bitter Love and Sweet Vengeance”
As his tainted soul touched her, she smiled into the pleasure and licked her lips at the inviting delicacy of death.
Time and love mean nothing to her, as not even the feel of pain and reality slips into her scenes now.
Laughter is forbidden and death is welcome when one can only taste the tears of loneliness and pain.
The sheer strength of his eyes pulled at her until her only reason for staying in this twisted life was for his blood.
The candles flickered as her blood and tears rained down on his heart and soul.
Her eyes darkened with passion as he told her death was near her heart and soul.
She would stare at this life as though the only thing that existed in it was death, for no one could take his place by her heart.
The bliss of death would never touch her, for she lived a life of bitter love and sweet vengeance.
By: C. M. Hamilton
“Dear Father”
My hope is that the sorceress of time will let my wounded heart heal easily, as I lick the blood from my wounds I know that this will never happen, but I will go on.
In my heart this deadly lie, that love will never hurt me again lives. The wounds on it and my soul will only heal to become forever scarred by the pain of a few memories only a father could leave, yet I still love you.
Why I do, I don’t know. I know you get to me everytime because my defensive heart lets you in. the reasons for this are still a mystery.
I can’t believe I was this stupid again. It is my fault, I let you in. it doesn’t really matter anymore; it is just more pain, just one more scar on my soul. For my heart is still too filled with pain to scar.
I will live and go on with the pain. I will find the strength and hope to love again. A little more pain won’t matter anymore than a few more scars.
By: C. M. Hamilton
“Death”
As Death provides a livid glare she laughs and sprints away.
A mortified Death curiously stares after her.
She never looks back and never stops.
Death follows at a distance always watching.
She stalks the thundering horizon and cries for those who are lost.
Death always hides in the shadows listening, waiting.
She slips through trees and glides through clear blue waters.
Just this once Death was embraced with acceptance.
By: C. M. Hamilton
“Fallen Angels”
When the fallen angels in my heart rage against the painless bliss of ecstasy, my soul becomes an object of lust.
They cry out in desperation as their seething hatred is surpassed by my soul’s burning fury and promises of retribution.
They hunger for a lost soul that persuades me into oblivion for my pleasure alone with fain whispers of a deadly peace.
They will forever rejoice at the depth to which my pain will eternally reach, branding my soul with memories of a past life.
By: C. M. Hamilton
“I Am”
As my eyes flutter closed cries of pain and loss follow me toward an unholy destination of illegal ecstasy that is forbidden to all and loved by many.
As my body floats and spins toward a darker dream my ties to the light fade and snap under the pressure of an unforgiving hand.
As my mind bends and stretches toward a goal that is not my own I am lost to a drug of choice and love.
As my soul sags beneath the weight of my decisions my tears dry and lock away the demon to hold and cherish for a final day of passion gone array.
As my heart beats a frantic rhythm and my spirit dies the pull of life is only an illusion of and for the stubborn.
As my purity is stolen so is my innocence in an unclean darkness that nature rejects with the wrath of Heaven’s angles.
As I cry out for guidance and peace from a self-induced nightmare I realize that I alone control who and what I am.
By: C. M. Hamilton
“It Is…”
It is…
the whisper of an inviting scent that thrives in the tears of the innocent and gathers like a dark pool of swirling stars.
It is…
the vibrant life forces of the unforgiven sinners in a world were pain is love and love is pain.
It is…
the beautiful malice of a passionate killer and the glorious high of a vengeful addict.
It is…
the fear of living without forbidden harmony and of leaving this gracious life on an unknown journey.
It is…
the habit of an unborn child’s need and the hatred of a lost soul screaming in agony from a lost memory.
It is…
the vexing tear of a painful lie born of an insatiable lust and betrayed by love.
Is it…
the injustice of Death’s cool embrace and Hell’s lavish promises.
By: C. M. Hamilton
“Misunderstood”
As I walk to and from dreams that are worlds away yet so close they blind me t
o the break of day and as the darkness seeps in and breaths with a life of its own; light desiccates my tarnished soul.
The walls of hatred close in with crushing weight and I face reality as he is my new reaper; I am forever powerless against his charms and the forsaken gifts he offers in a mortal promise whispered by on the wings of a kiss.
As drugs over take my mind and body I struggle for knowledge and beg for love and I know I will exist to fight another day; as little miss perfect has an agonizing pain so deep no drug could ever erase the intimate horrors burned into her memories.
By: C. M. Hamilton
“Moonlight”
In the dark depth of night I sit waiting for death to claim me, for its dull colors have bested the bright colors of this hell.
In death I will find the peace of difference. As I am trapped in this solitary existence, the reaper defies all and answers to none.
As the fallen angels sing and chaos reigns, the tears of the innocent burn in hell amongst the ranks of the fearless.
I know now that it does no good to dwell on the past as I realize there is no