Aaron the Alien: and the Cwissmussywussyfussderryjeer
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AARON THE ALIEN
AND THE
CWISMUSSYWUSSYFUSSJEERYDEER
by Jon-Jon (Jon S Jones)
Part I
‘Timmy who is Aaron?’ his mum snapped, Timmy sat bolt right up in bed the blood draining from his face, it was the day before Christmas eve and School had already broken up. His mum barged into his room, he hated it when she did that. It was normally because he had not cleared something up behind him, then he would be made to go all the way downstairs just go to go and pick up an empty crisp packet and put it in the bin or something else equally annoying. Today though his mum had his full attention, how could she know who Aaron was, it was impossible, wasn’t it?
‘Well ... I’m waiting mister.’ his mum said standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.’ As usual his mum looked like she had been up forever as if it were two in the afternoon and not half eight in the morning. Timmy was panicking, what could he say when he didn’t know what she knew.
‘Aaron? I don’t know mum, I don’t know anyone called Aaron.’
‘Don’t you lie to me young man.’ she shot back in a raised voice.
Timmy looked genuinely bewildered and confused, such was his certainty that his mum could not know of Aaron’s existence. His mum noticed the reaction.
‘Take a look outside.’
Timmy just sat there looking at his mum.
‘Go on, have a look at the back garden.’ Timmy still in his pyjamas got up on his bed and looked outside.
‘Snow.’ he yelped ‘Mum it has been snowing overnight, it has settled as well, quite deep.’ Timmy squealed with excitement.
‘Yes Timothy, I am quite aware of that, try looking in the snow, especially the layer of fresh snow in our own back garden.’
Timmy hated it when she called him Timothy, it was always an indicator she was serious about something. He looked at the back garden carefully and quickly realised the cause of his unexpected interrogation. There written in the fresh snow in big letters were the words
‘AARON RULES - TIMMY SMELLS’
Timmy burst out laughing partly because he thought it was quite a funny joke and partly out of relief.
‘I am glad you find it so funny young man, I suppose I should be glad he didn’t swear, the young vandal, who is he anyway?’
Timmy still looking out of the window paused mid laugh, he had to think fast, he turned as fast and as confidently as he could back around to his mum.
‘Oh that Aaron, he is Ed’s cousin, from London, you must have met him he normally comes up during school holidays. It was only a joke mum he probably thought I would see it before anyone else and cover it up, please don’t be mad, we all love it when he comes up to visit.’
Timmy tried to put on his best puppy dog eyes.
‘I suppose ... but I suggest you get dressed and go and build yourself a snow man or something rather sharpish and do not leave one letter visible.’
‘Ok mum, thanks, can you shut my door then so I can get dressed.’ his mum eyed him for a second as if deliberating whether she had just been hoodwinked - which of course she had.
As soon as the door was shut Timmy ran to the window and started shouting for Aaron, standing on his bed he leant right of the window and looked up to the roof. An avalanche of snow came sliding off and covered his top half with so much snow that he nearly fell out of the window!
Timmy recoiled back in the room instantly hearing the unmistakeable laugh of his best friend Aaron.
‘I knew you would do that, I knew it.’
‘Aaron, my mum’ll hear you.’
‘Sorry, but that was funny.’ said Aaron swinging in through the window and landing after his obligatory somersaults.
As Timmy pretended to close the window, he collected some snow off the shelf and turned around and threw it in Aaron’s face but unbeknownst to Timmy Aaron had already planned the same thing and had a snow ball in one of his extra hands, both of them received a snowball in the face simultaneously.
Timmy burst out laughing as did Aaron, they quickly picked up as much snow as they could and threw it out of the window.
‘So what are you doing here Aaron?’ said Timmy putting on his favourite blue dressing gown as all the snow had made him cold.
‘Thought I would come and hang out I know how humans love this time of year.’
‘Yeah it’s pretty cool.’
‘Obviously Timmy the land is covered in snow, you’re not exactly going to run downstairs and start putting towels around the pond are you.’
‘Aaron, I meant ‘cool’ it’s a figure of speech.’
‘Impossible – how can you have a figure of speech, if a figure is a number and speech is comprised entirely of letters.’
‘I don’t know Aaron how can an alien travel a zillion miles and not buy a phrasebook?’
‘Good point.’ said Aaron rubbing his chin with one of his four hands. ‘Did you like my message?’
‘I can’t believe you Aaron my mum almost killed me, she came in and was asking who Aaron was, I was panicking thinking she must know about you.’
‘I know I was listening on the roof, it was so funny though, if only you could have been there, oh wait you were.’ said Aaron laughing.
‘Yeah you wait Aaron I’ll get you back.’
‘I was just getting you back for what happened on Bezerkkaflurkkadurkk.’ Aaron replied daring Timmy to respond with his gesture.
‘No, but ... but ... ok that was funny though.’
‘Yeah but was it as funny as mine.’
‘Ooh, that is a tough one to be fair.’ replied Timmy running his fingers through his blonde hair as if it were a question that had puzzled scientists for centuries.
‘Anyway come on Aaron get dressed, we’ll do something.’
‘Ok, Aaron just give me fifteen, I will quickly scoff a bowl of cereal, have a wash and get dressed, you know where my books and that are, help yourself. Be careful though my sister is prowling about somewhere.’
‘Cool.’ responded Aaron smiling. Timmy rolled his eyes grabbed a handful of clothes and ran out of the room.
Aaron was sitting on the bed reading a James Bond novel when Timmy returned.
‘Where shall we go Aaron?’ said Timmy closing the bedroom door behind him.
‘Don’t know, but before we do there is something I would like to ask you? It has always puzzled me, I know you are always calling me a Mr kno
w it all, but there is one thing that has always evaded me?’
‘What’s that mate?’ said Timmy sitting down on the bed and looking at his friend with a serious expression.
‘Who is Chris Moose?’
‘Chris Moose? I don’t know any Chris Moose, Aaron?’
‘Chris Moose, the person you celebrate each year, the reason your off school.’
Timmy burst out laughing so hard that tears sprang from his eyes, Aaron soon found himself laughing as well.
‘Chris Moose, Chris Moose.’ Timmy squealed punching his bed.
‘Timmy w ... w ... what’s so funny?’ said Aaron still laughing.
‘It’s Christmas not Chris Moose.’
‘Ah I see, you know I searched encyclopaedia’s, I even tried the phone book, no wonder I couldn’t find him.’
‘Aaron you’re going to kill me,’ said Timmy laughing hard but fighting to compose himself again.
‘You know Timmy after I told everyone in the galaxy about Christmas, we nick named a planet after it.’
‘Really, why?’
‘It’s like earth in the winter, everything is white and snowy, well kind of if you know what I mean.’
Timmy and Aaron looked at each other,
‘Are you thinking what I’m thinking Aaron?’
‘Yes – let’s go.’
Timmy threw on his black jumper, ran downstairs and after grabbing his grey and yellow coat and black gloves he headed out.
They had deemed it safer for them to meet by the spaceship rather than risk being seen. The snow made it harder to cross the large open fields inconspicuously. Aaron was waiting for him at their usual spot, when Timmy arrived the ship was ready. They took off and within