Also by Sherrilyn Kenyon from Pocket Books:
Born to be BAD
Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down
(with Melanie George and Jaid Black)
Big Guns Out of Uniform
(with Liz Carlyle and Nicole Camden)
POCKET BOOKS, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright (c) 2005 by Sherrilyn Kenyon
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Pocket Books, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Kenyon, Sherrilyn, 1965—
Bad attitude / Sherrilyn Kenyon.
p. cm.
ISBN: 1-4165-1620-4
1. Americans--Iraq--Fiction. 2. Iraq--Fiction. I. Title.
PS3563.A311145B33 2005
813'.6--dc22 2005050926
POCKET and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
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For my mother, who meant the entire world to me.
Acknowledgments
My husband, brother, and sons, for being the center of my universe. For my friends, who are always, always there no matter what: Lo, Janet, Bryn, Loretta, Donna, Jennifer, and my wonderful posse: Alethea, Dee, and Nicole.
For all the fans and members of my groups, who are so generous with their support and laughs. And in particular for the RBLs and DH groups. You guys really rock!
For Lauren, Louise, and Maggie, for giving me the chance to do something off the beaten path and for believing in the idea so strongly. To Lauren (again), Nancy, and Megan for all the hard work you guys do on my behalf. It's always appreciated more than any of you will ever know.
For my father-in-law and husband, for all the Army information and the inner workings of government agencies. Lo, for all her Navy knowledge. And to Janet, for all the hours of research you do.
But most of all, for my mother, without whom I would never have dreamed the impossible. You gave me the greatest gifts of all: life, sarcastic humor, love, and the ability to imagine other worlds. I miss you, Mom. I always will.
Prologue
Iraq, 2003
T here wasn't anything on earth much hotter than the desert in August. Steele lay in the hole he'd dug in the sand under his tent to keep him sheltered in case of a mortar attack, trying to remember the cool, honeysuckle-scented breezes that used to ease the hot summers of his childhood.
If he lay here long enough, he could almost block out the sounds of army operations in the background. The sound of trucks moving, soldiers calling out to each other. The smell of blood, sweat, and fear. The feel of the hard, hot rifle biting into his side as he kept it tucked in beside him.
God, he just wanted to go home again.
His thoughts turned to Brian, who up until two days ago had shared this tent with him, and winced.
Maybe he didn't want to go home after all.
He could still feel the sting of Teresa's words after he'd called her to see how she was doing.
How do you think I'm doing, asshole? I just had to go tell my six-year-old son that his father is dead. I hate you, you worthless bastard! You swore to me that you'd keep him alive. You're the one who should be dead, not him. No one would even care if it were you.
The worst part was, he knew she was right. Brian wouldn't have even been here if Steele hadn't talked him into enlisting with him after college. They'd been childhood friends together, and Brian had worshipped him. Teresa had wanted Brian to go into the corporate world, but stupid him, he'd talked Brian out of it.
"C'mon, Brian, I'll take care of you. It'll be just like it was when we were kids. Remember how we'd play pretend soldier with our BB guns? It'll be great. Just the two of us, watching each other's backs. No one can touch us."
Now he was paying for that arrogance.
It should have been him who'd died--no one would give two shits if it had been. Teresa's hatred was irrational, but then a lot of army wives went through that when their spouses died. Even though they knew the risks, the reality of it was hard to swallow and even harder to live with.
Maybe in time she'd forgive him.
He let out a slow, tired breath, which was halted as two men came into his tent, carrying army footlockers.
"Sergeant." The two privates saluted him.
Steele had to force himself not to roll his eyes at the gesture, which, given their current surroundings, could get someone shot. But their CO had determined that even if it meant a bullet in the head from a sniper, military protocol must be followed....
Unless it was the good captain. Then "proper channels" took on a whole new meaning.
Steele returned their salute. "What are you two doing here?"
"Captain Schmidt told us to pack Corporal Garrison's things. There's a new man coming in later today to replace him."
Steele narrowed his eyes at their words. He'd known it wouldn't be long before Brian was replaced, but damn...
This was too soon. He wasn't ready. He needed more time to come to grips with the gaping hole inside him that ached every minute of every day for the friend--no, the brother--he'd lost. There would never be anyone who could replace what Brian had been to him.
Heartsick, he watched as the two privates started going through Brian's things and placing them in one of the lockers. There were stacks of pictures from their home in Fort Benning that Teresa had sent of herself and Cody. Pictures Cody had colored and drawn in his class. A small pillow Teresa had sent, scented with the perfume she always wore.
Images of Brian holding that pillow to his face before he lay down to sleep at night went through him. Brian had loved that woman more than anything. They had met as sophomores in college at a Laundromat and had fallen in love instantly. Teresa had been the first thing Brian had talked about in the morning and the last thing he thought about before he slept.
Brian had died with a picture of her and Cody in his pocket.
Steele frowned as he saw one of the men tearing pages out of Brian's notebook, where he kept a diary of their days in hell. Brian had been extremely proud of it. "One day, Cody will want to know what his dad did while he was away. This way, he'll know exactly how many times I thought of him and his mother."
"What are you doing?" Steele asked the private.
"The captain said to confiscate anything that might contain classified material so that the platoon sergeant could go through it later."
Steele glared at him. "Those are diary entries for his wife and kid."
"They could compromise us."
Compromise them?
Now that was funny as hell, coming from their captain.
Steele shot to his feet with his rifle habitually in his hand, but he knew it wouldn't do any good to attack these men; they were just following orders. "Brian didn't put anything in there that would--"
His words broke off as he saw the other private sorting through pictures. He was pulling out anything that showed Brian in uniform, which was almost all of them.
Those pictures and Brian's letters were all Teresa and Cody had left of the man they'd both loved.
This was bullshit! His anger burning through him, he grabbed the notebook out of the private's hand and headed for their illustrious captain.
With every step that Steele took, his temper mounted. What they were doing wasn't right. Brian hadn't
been a replaceable cog. He'd been a man with a future. One with a family who loved and needed him.
You're a soldier. You know the life.
Steele was from generations of soldiers. Men died in war. It was to be expected.
And yet he couldn't get over Brian's death that easily. He'd been too close to the man. Brian hadn't been just another soldier to Steele.
He'd been a brother.
Steele paused as he neared the captain's tent. He could hear him speaking on the phone. "No, sir. I'm not sure how the men got lost." The captain actually laughed. "You know how the desert is. It's not exactly teeming with landmarks. Accidents happen, and out here, they happen a lot."
Steele felt a tic starting in his jaw.
"No, sir. They were only to scout out the lay of the land. Sergeant Steele wasn't supposed to engage the enemy. I'm still trying to figure out what happened myself."
Bullshit. That sonofabitch had sent them out with a clear objective. It had blown up in their face--the enemy had known they were coming, and now the bastard was trying to say that he had no knowledge of it....
Steele gripped his rifle even tighter as the captain continued to make light of the whole affair that had cost Brian his life.
After a few seconds, the captain hung up.
Before Steele could get a handle on his emotions and enter the tent, the captain came outside.
"We were lost?" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.
The captain, who hadn't even realized he was there, stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face him. His brown eyes narrowed dangerously on Steele. "Is there something bothering you, Sergeant?"
"We weren't lost--" He waited deliberately before he added, "Sir. We were right where you ordered us to be. And we did exactly what we were ordered to do."
He could tell by the captain's body language that he was pushing the man too far. But he didn't care. The man's stupidity had killed Brian, and he wasn't about to let him get away with this.
Not about to allow him to laugh this off.
The captain moved forward in that age-old military method of trying to intimidate. It might have worked better had the man not been five inches shorter than Steele.
Then again, Steele had been immune to that tactic since he'd grown up with his father trying to use it on him constantly.
The captain spoke in a low, deadly tone. "You will never speak of this event again with another living soul. Do you understand me, soldier?"
Steele ground his teeth as rage whipped through him, and he kept his mouth closed to prevent himself from saying something that was guaranteed to get him into trouble.
"Do. You. Understand?"
"Yes, sir."
The captain nodded. "Good. You will be assigned a new spotter this afternoon. At sixteen hundred hours, report to my tent for your next assignment."
Steele knew to keep his mouth shut, but he couldn't stop himself. "Is this another mission where we get lost, sir?"
The hatred in the man's eyes was tangible. "Don't mess with me, Sergeant. You know weapons malfunctions happen to even the best of us. Be a damned shame for a man with your talents to have a defective rifle when he needed it, wouldn't it, Sergeant?"
Now the bastard was threatening him? It was all he could do not to punch him straight in that smug face. But he knew better than to try it. All it would get him was arrested.
"Yes, sir," Steele said from between clenched teeth.
The captain spent another three seconds glaring at him before he withdrew. "You will do what you're told, soldier, and you will remember who is in charge here."
Steele watched as the man made his way toward the south end of the tents, but with every step he took, Steele's rage increased.
That cocky fucking bastard had no business being in charge of anything.
He looked down at the notebook in his hand and saw the neatly written words.
Hi Cody,
Another note from Dad. I was thinking of you today and missing you like crazy. I know you're taking good care of your mom for me...
Brian's face flashed through his mind...followed by the sight of his death.
Even now he could feel Brian's warm, sticky blood as it splattered across his face.
"Malfunctions happen to even the best of us..."
That threat was more than he could stand. Dropping the notebook, Steele lifted his rifle and took aim.
Before any rational thought could waylay his emotions, he squeezed off a single round.
The helmet on the captain's head went flying. It landed with a thump against the sand as it sprayed particles around it. Total silence descended as everyone tried to figure out if it'd been a shot or a backfire they'd heard unexpectedly.
The only two who knew what had happened were him and his target.
And as the captain pissed his pants there in front of everyone, Steele's satisfaction was mitigated by one single thought.
That was without a doubt the dumbest move of his life.
One
"S ister, I have found the man for you..."
Sydney Westbrook laughed at Tee's joyful words as she swiveled her chair away from her desk to see her boss standing behind her at the entrance of her cubicle. They weren't really sisters, as was evidenced by the fact that Tee was Vietnamese-American, while Syd was Portuguese, Italian, and English--an odd genetic combination that gave her a strangely exotic look. One that hadn't been bad until Angelina Jolie had stepped onto the Hollywood scene.
Try being an undercover agent with a very famous lookalike. There were times when she absolutely hated a woman she'd never even met.
But if she had to be the twin of what she often referred to as "that woman," she wished that she'd been given the body to match. Unfortunately, nature hadn't been quite that kind to her, and she was cursed with not only being short, but with big hips to match. Not to mention, she hadn't been the dress size of her famous counterpart since elementary school.
"You've got a man for me, huh?"
Tee nodded. "Yes, ma'am, and he's just what the doctor ordered." Tee handed her a folder. "Joshua Daniel Steele the second. Likes to scuba dive, restore vintage motorcycles, and play with firearms. He's six-two, dark-haired, dark-eyed. Ex-army. He's absolutely perfect for you."
As she scanned the folder's contents, she saw exactly why he was ex-Army, and it wasn't comforting in the least. "He's doing time?"
Tee shrugged. "A slight bump in the road, but we can go around it if you're interested."
Hmm...She paused to consider that. Convicts tended to come with a lot of emotional baggage, and the last thing she needed was a crybaby or a loon. Syd had never liked playing wet nurse to anyone. What she needed was a man with no issues who could do what she wanted without complaint or question--something that seemed to be impossible to find.
What was it with all these men who wanted to do things their way? Ugh!
But as Syd skimmed his dossier, she had to admit this man had some serious potential. "He's impressive."
And as she flipped to the pictures of him that were attached to the back of the folder, she amended that thought to very impressive.
The guy was definitely built for sin. His body was lean and hard from hours of Army training. He had dark, seductive eyes and a smile that should grace the cover of GQ. It was all she could do not whistle at the package he presented.
No man should be that ripped and tanned.
At least, not unless he was in her bed a night or two...
Squelching that line of thought, she closed the folder, then handed it back to Tee. "I have to be honest, I wasn't really looking for a pretty boy."
Before Tee could respond, a male voice rang out. "Oh, sheez, what's Syd Vicious doing back in town?"
Syd expelled an exasperated breath as the handsome, albeit stupid, Hunter Thornton-Payne paused outside her cube, just behind Tee. It was a pity the man was such a pompous jerk. He had the kind of smooth, sexy looks that were almost impossible to re
sist--until he opened his mouth. Then he was more repellent than a wildebeest in heat.
She arched a brow at him. "How'd the testicle retrieval go, Payne? You still limping?"
He narrowed his eyes at her before he continued on his way to his desk.
"Thought so," Syd said in a loud voice. "I got the thank-you card from Planned Parenthood last week. Seems they want to honor me for saving the gene pool."
She heard a chorus of laughter from the other federal agents in the office.
"You are so vicious," Tee said with a light laugh.
"Hence the nickname."
Tee shook her head. "You know it's bad when you make me look like Glinda the Good Witch, right?"
"Just call me Elphaba. But don't drop a house on me, 'kay?"
As usual, Tee played right along with her humor. "All right, El. Is this one a go?"
Syd hesitated as she considered it. "I don't know."
Tee pulled out the picture of him, bare-chested and sweaty as he did sit-ups that showed off every bit of his eight-pack of abs. She waved it in front of her, like a piece of delectable chocolate.
"C'mon, Syd. Trust me. You want to talk to this one. You need to talk to this one." Then she deepened her voice. "C'mon, baby, I'm too sexy for my shirt..."
Laughing, Syd shook her head. Tee was incorrigible. "Only if you promise me he won't be chasing after a quick lay. I don't need or want any more playboys in my life." Syd had had her fill of men like that. She'd made a blood oath that the next time such a man entered her life, she'd shoot him herself.
Or give him a taste of what she'd given Hunter.
Tee returned the picture to her folder. "All right, then. We'll head out to meet him within the hour. Can you be ready?"
Syd glanced at her computer. She had a lot of work to do, but she needed to make sure this one would work out. She couldn't afford to have another man let her down.
It wasn't easy to find a cold-blooded killer who could go in and complete this assignment without any remorse, questions, or hiccups.
From his file, Steele looked to be just what the doctor ordered, and Army men were good at following orders.
But then, convicts weren't...
Syd sighed as she ran through the good and bad of dealing with this man. If he didn't pan out for whatever reason, there wouldn't be time to find a replacement sniper. They'd already been through countless files of Marines, SWAT, Army...the works. None of them had been right.