BROOMAN AND THE MONSTER UNDER THE BED
David Elvar
Copyright 2009 David Elvar
~oOo~
ONE
'Brooman.'
Brooman felt his shoulder being shaken, heard the voice a second time.
'Brooman, wake up.'
He rolled over and opened a bleary eye to look at its owner. It belonged, as it always did, to his little sister.
'What is it, Dizzy?' he said sleepily.
'There's a monster under my bed.'
Brooman sighed. This was not the first time he'd had a rude awakening in the middle of the night, and for the same sort of reason.
'I bet there isn't,' he said. 'I bet you've just had another bad dream.'
'There is a monster!' she wailed. 'It's got big red eyes and really pointy horns and it smells of bananas.'
'I bet it doesn't. I bet you've just had a really realistic bad dream where you smell things as well as see and hear them.'
'There is a monster!' she wailed again. 'It's got big yellow teeth and huge green ears and it puffs black smoke when it burps.'
That settled it. No self-respecting monster would ever burp something so ordinary as black smoke. But Dizzy said there was a monster, and he, being her older and only brother, would have to go and deal with it. He swung his legs round and out of bed.
'Come on,' he said wearily, 'I'll show you there's no monster.'
As he ushered his sister from his bedroom, he checked his window. It was still dark outside. The night was obviously very old or the morning very young. Either way, he just wanted to get this over and done with and get back to bed. Monster or no monster, he needed his sleep.
'You will be careful, won't you, Brooman?' said Dizzy when they got to her door. 'It really is a horrible monster. It's got big hairy hands with long sharp claws and it says its name is Cedric.'
'Cedric,' Brooman repeated dryly. 'It told you that, I suppose.'
'Only because I asked it.'
'Really.' He pushed the door open. 'Come on, then. Let's go and meet this Cedric.'
As he crept forward into his sister's bedroom, he glanced round for some sign of this monster. But there was none. No hairy hands and sharp claws. No yellow teeth and green ears. And definitely no black smoke.
'So where is it, then?' he said.
'Sshh!' Dizzy whispered hoarsely. 'Not so loud! It'll hear you!'
'Actually, that's sort of what I'm hoping.'
He crouched down on the floor, lifted the edge of the sheet and peered under Dizzy's bed. But there was nothing there, only dust and fluff and all the usual stuff you'd expect to find under a little sister's bed.
'Well,' he said brightly as he got up again, 'I think it's gone. I think you can safely go back to sleep. Come on, back to bed with you.'
As Dizzy clambered back under the duvet, Brooman smoothed it around her like a big brother is supposed to do with a little sister who's just had a nightmare.
'You go back to sleep,' he said. 'I'll see you in the morning.'
He turned to go, to get back to his own room and a bed he knew was just waiting for him.
'There really was a monster,' he heard Dizzy murmur sleepily as he opened the door.
Brooman smiled to himself. Just another bad dream, he was certain of it. She would have forgotten about it by the morning.
He went to leave. But as he did so, he stopped. He could smell something. It was there, definitely there, hanging in the air like a clue that had been left for him?
?the faint smell of bananas?
TWO
'Brooman.'
Someone was shaking his shoulder again. He opened a bleary eye to stare blankly at the wallpaper. This isn't happening! Surely this isn't happening!
'Brooman,' the voice said again, 'wake up.'
He rolled over to look sleepily at his sister. 'Don't tell me,' he sighed. 'The monster's come back.'
'No, silly!' said Dizzy. 'It's morning.'
He glanced up to see sunlight struggling to get past his curtains. It was indeed morning. It was then also time to get up. For some strange reason, he felt a little tired.
'What day is it?' he said as he stretched beneath his duvet. 'Is it a school day? Please tell me it isn't a school day.'
'Of course it's a school day,' said Dizzy. 'Every day's a school day.'
That wasn't strictly true, of course. It just felt as though every day was a school day. Brooman sighed and heaved himself out of bed.
On the school bus, he sat (as usual) next to his friend Marvin while Dizzy (as usual) went to sit with her own friends. As he slumped down in his seat, he yawned.
'Someone's tired,' he heard Marvin say.
'Yeah, I am a bit,' he said. 'Dizzy had another of her bad dreams, said there was a monster under her bed.'
'She woke you up for that?' said Marvin.
'Oh, more than that,' said Brooman. 'She wanted me to come and chase it away.'
'And did you?'
'What do you mean, did I! Come on, Marv, you know better than to believe in monsters. No, I just played along with it, checked under her bed, didn't find anything-as I knew I wouldn't-and told her to go back to sleep.'
'Sisters can be like that,' said Marvin. 'My sister's just as bad, if not worse. She sees things like spooks that spook and goblins that gobble and all sorts of horrible things you couldn't even begin to imagine. That's what she says, anyway.'
'I bet she does,' said Brooman, trying to stifle another yawn. 'It's just something that little sisters do, I think.'
'Yeah, well, it's just them being them.'
'You got that right. And they're really good at it, have you noticed? When they imagine a monster, they really imagine a monster.'
'Tell me about it,' groaned Marvin. 'Off the wall or what!'
'I mean, take this one Dizzy said she saw last night,' Brooman went on. 'You should have heard her describe it.'
'No, let me guess,' said Marvin. 'Red eyes?'
'Big red eyes.'
'Yellow teeth?'
'Like they'd never been brushed.'
'And pointy horns, green ears and long sharp claws.'
'And hairy hands,' said Brooman. 'Don't forget the hairy hands.'
'Right,' said Marvin. 'Anything else?'
'Yes. Apparently, it smelt of bananas.'
Brooman finished and fell about laughing, only then realising just how ridiculous this monster had really been. But then he noticed that his friend did not seem to be laughing along with him. Something was wrong, he could tell.
'What's up?' he said. 'You look like someone's just told you you've got a maths exam today.'
'No, it's?it's okay,' said Marvin vaguely. 'I was just thinking, that's all.'
'Thinking what?'
'Um?well?you're going to think me a bit mad but this bit about this monster smelling of bananas.'
'Yeah. What about it?'
'Well, it's funny you should say that but?well?the last time my sister said there was a monster under her bed, she said it smelt of bananas, too.' He looked up at Brooman. 'How can two little sisters who've never met have a bad dream about the same monster?'
Brooman didn't answer. It was a good question: how indeed could they have dreamt up the same monster? Suddenly, something about last night wasn't making sense.
THREE
All through that long day at school, he couldn't concentrate. In English, he tried multiplying words together. In Maths, he tried writing a story using numbers. And in Geography, he totally misheard the teacher and spent the entire lesson drawing a map of the back of his hand. His teacher said it was a very good map but what she'd actually asked for was a map of somewhere he kn
ew like the back of his hand. All told, he was pretty fed up by the time he got home.
As he sat at the table and waited for his mum to finish dishing up tea, he looked across at Dizzy. There was something he needed to ask her but he could only do it when his mum was out of the way. His dad, too, come to that, but he wasn't home from work yet so he didn't count.
At last, his mum was plonking two steaming plates in front of them.
'Right,' she said, 'eat your tea quietly. My favourite programme will be on in a minute. Sonia's going to break the bad news to Karl and I don't want to miss a thing.'
And with that, she was gone, leaving them alone at last. All told, thought Brooman, there was a lot to be said for Sonia having bad news to break to Karl.
'Dizzy,' he said as he plunged his fork into a sausage, 'what did you see last night? The monster, I mean.'
'I told you!' she said as she squeezed ketchup onto her plate. 'It had big red eyes and really pointy horns and big yellow teeth and huge green ears and big hairy hands with long sharp claws. Didn't you see it?'
'Er?no,' said Brooman. 'It had gone by the time I got there.'
'Well, it was there. Didn't you smell the smell of bananas?'
'Er?no,' Brooman lied. 'It had gone by the time I got there.'
'Well, it was there and its name was Cedric.'
'So you said,' said Brooman. 'Are you sure it wasn't just another bad dream? You do seem to get a lot of them.'
'I do not!' said Dizzy.
'You do!' said Brooman. 'There was that one where you insisted the bogeyman had come to visit you and you could tell it was the bogeyman because he was covered in real bogeys.'
'Well, he was.'
'Then there was that one where the bump monster came and kept going bump in the night.'
'Well, he did.'
'And what about the time you woke me up in the middle of the night with some tale about a pixie who'd brought all his children to visit you and they were called pixels and could I come and get rid of them, please, because they were eating all your birthday chocolates?'
'Well, they were.'
'They were not,' said Brooman. 'I could tell by the chocolate stains all round your mouth.'
'Well, I had to eat some. They'd have eaten them all, otherwise.'
'Hmm,' said Brooman, unconvinced. 'Well, I still think last night's monster was just a bad dream.'
'It was not!' Dizzy protested. 'It was real, it was there! Just like the pixels were.'
'There's no such thing as pixels,' said Brooman. 'Or at least there are such things as pixels. You find them in television screens.'
'Oh,' said Dizzy. Then she was thinking for a moment. Brooman could tell this because she'd stopped dunking chips in her ketchup. 'Does that mean that mum's watching pixels right now?'
'I suppose so. Why?'
She dunked another chip. 'Did the pixels eat all Sonia's chocolates, do you suppose?'
'Uh?'
'Did the pixels eat all Sonia's chocolates?'
'I'm not sure I'm with you.'
'Well, the pixels eating all her chocolates is the only bad news I can think of that she could possibly have to break to Karl.'
Brooman sighed wearily. There were times when he wondered why he ever had a little sister. This was one of those times.
FOUR
That night, he went to bed early. Not only was he tired, he wanted to get some sleep in before the rude awakening he just knew would come. And as he slept, he had a dream. He had a dream of a chocolate-covered monster eating bogeys on television. And Dizzy was there. She was sitting in front of the television and saying things like 'Are they real bogeys, Brooman?' and 'Do you think he's going to have bad news for Karl, too, Brooman?' Then she was saying 'Brooman. Are you asleep?'-which was silly because he knew full well he wasn't asleep. He could see her perfectly clearly, sitting in front of the television and watching the chocolate-covered monster. Then the voice seemed to be getting louder. It was saying-
'Brooman!'
-and-
'Brooman, wake up!'
-and monster, sister and television seemed to fade. He rolled over in his bed. Someone was standing beside it, someone he recognised only too well.
'What is it, Dizzy?' he groaned.
'The monster's back,' she said.
'You're just having another bad dream,' he said, rolling back and pulling his duvet over his head. 'Just go back to sleep and you'll soon forget about it.'
'It's not a dream!' wailed Dizzy. 'The monster really is back!'
'Is it?' said Brooman. 'Well, tell it to go away. That usually gets rid of them.'
He heard Dizzy shuffle off back to her room. As he heard her speaking in a low voice to a monster that he knew just couldn't possibly be there, he settled himself again for sleep. It wouldn't take him long to drop back off, that was for certain. He yawned and felt himself beginning to drift off. It was a lovely feeling, sort of like floating in a bubble, floating away to some distant land where-
'Brooman.'
The bubble popped. Suddenly, he was wide-awake. He rolled back over and eased himself up on one arm.
'I said go back to bed,' he whispered hoarsely.
'I did!' said Dizzy. 'But the monster's still there.'
'I told you to tell it to go away.'
'I did!' said Dizzy. 'But he wouldn't. He just stayed there and told me he liked coming here because I'm easier to scare.'
'Easier to scare than who?' yawned Brooman.
'Marvin's little sister.'
Brooman stopped yawning. He stared at Dizzy. 'How do you know about Marvin's little sister?' he said.
'How do I know what about Marvin's little sister?' said Dizzy, puzzled.
'That this supposed monster goes and visits her.'
'Does he?' said Dizzy. 'Well, I suppose he would have to if he knows I'm easier to scare than her.'
Brooman shook his head. This was getting weirder and weirder by the minute. Only one thing for it?
'Come on,' he said, crawling out from under his duvet, 'let's go and ask this monster why you're easier to scare than Marvin's little sister.'
They crept along the landing. As they reached Dizzy's door, he gave it a gentle shove. It swung back slowly. In the light of her bedside lamp, Brooman could see clearly the crumpled duvet on her bed, and curling round just above it?smoke?
'You stay here,' he said. 'I'll deal with this.'
He crept forward slowly?crouched down?took hold of the bottom edge of the sheet?and yanked it up!
But there was nothing there.
'It's okay,' he called. 'He's gone.'
She stepped into her room. 'Oh dear, he burped again,' she said as she saw the smoke.
'So it would seem,' said Brooman. 'Go on, back into bed with you. Let's hope he doesn't come back for the rest of the night. I'm really, really tired.'
'Never mind,' Dizzy said brightly. 'Tomorrow's Saturday. No school on a Saturday.'
Perhaps, thought Brooman as he trudged back to his room, that's just as well?
FIVE
Saturday was definitely not a school day. Saturday was the day their dad took them out. Usually, he'd take them into town, treat them to lunch of pizza and chips or fish and chips or anything else on the menu they might fancy?as long as it came with chips.
And no matter how many pizzas or how many chips they managed to scoff, there would always be pudding to follow. Sometimes ice cream and jelly, sometimes chocolate sponge and custard. Once-and their dad almost begged them not to tell their mum-they even had jelly and sponge with chocolate ice cream and cold custard. They liked Saturdays.
This Saturday was no different. They went into town, had a huge lunch of sausage pizza and double chips, followed by treacle sponge with chocolate custard, and they were soon heading for the park, where they liked to go after lunch.
'Right,' said Brooman's dad when they got there, 'who wants to go on the swings?'
'ME-E-E-EE!' shouted Dizzy, jumping up and down with exc
itement.
'Are you sure? Anyone who's packed away as much pizza and treacle pudding as you just did should be taking it easy, I think.'
'She'll be okay, dad,' said Brooman. 'Mum says she's got a cast iron stomach.'
'Well?all right, then. But the moment you start feeling even a little queasy, you stop. Okay?'
Dizzy nodded happily and skipped off to the swings. Brooman's dad turned to look down at him.
'And what would you like to do?' he said. 'Or is that a stupid question?'
Brooman shrugged. 'I'll just sit with you, if that's okay.'
'Of course it is.' They sat down on a park bench. 'So,' his dad went on, 'how's school?'
'Boring,' said Brooman. 'In History last week, we learned about how the Romans invaded. It was so uninteresting, I nearly fell asleep in the lesson.'
'You look as if you're about ready to now. Is being here uninteresting, too?'
'No,' said Brooman easily, 'Dizzy just had another bad dream last night. Apparently, there was a monster under her bed. She woke me up to come and chase it away.'
'And did you?'
'No, it was gone by the time I got-' He pulled up short. 'What am I saying! It was just a dream, dad. You know what she's like for having bad dreams.'
'I do indeed,' said his father. 'And have you never noticed how she seems to have a lot of bad dreams?'
Brooman had indeed noticed it. How could he not have? 'She's just at that age,' he said. 'She's just got a weird imagination.'
'Hmm.' His dad was silent for a moment, as though he was thinking about something. 'So what are you going to do next time she wakes you up telling you there's a monster under her bed?'
'What I always do,' said Brooman. 'Make a quick check, show her there isn't one then tuck her up in bed again and try and get back off to sleep.'
'Hmm.' His dad was silent again, as though he was thinking about another something. 'So what are you going to do if you do see a monster there?'
'Oh yeah, like that's going to happen.'
'No, I'm serious,' said his dad. 'What are you going to do if you really see a monster under her bed, like she says?'
'I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it.'
'Then let me give you some advice. Just tell it you know its second name.'