CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE TEENAGE SOUL ON TOUGH STUFF
CHICKEN SOUP
FOR THE
TEENAGE SOUL
ON TOUGH STUFF
Stories of Tough Times
and Lessons Learned
Jack Canfield
Mark Victor Hansen
Kimberly Kirberger
Backlist, LLC, a unit of
Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing, LLC
Cos Cob, CT
www.chickensoup.com
www.teenagechickensoup.com
Contents
Introduction
1. ON SELF-ACCEPTANCE
I Kiss Like a Horse Rebecca Woolf
Have You Ever Tiffany Blevins
I Am Loni Loni Taylor as told to Cynthia Hamond
Again Teal Henderson
Why I Have to Take U.S. History Again Tal Vigderson
Good-Bye My Angel Dear Tyler Phillips
Applying Myself C. S. Dweck
2. DRUGS & ALCOHOL
The Last Song for Christy Rebecca Woolf
The Final Act Lisa Teller
A Sobering Experience Sarah Jackson as told to Jennifer Braunschweiger
Hitting Bottom Jenny Hungerford as told to Susan K. Perry
That Warm Night Sarah Woo
What She Doesn’t Know Kate Reder
The Man My Father Was Kristine Flaherty
A Sobering Place Monique Fields
3. FAMILY MATTERS
What Siblings Know Danielle Collier
How to Scare a Big Sister Natalie Atkins
Sixty-Second Flashback Tiani Crocker
Change Carrie Hill as told to Cynthia Hamond
Table for Three Isabel Philley as told to C. S. Dweck
A Most Precious Gift Jessica Colman
Memories of My Mother Amy Jo Johnson as told to Linda Friedman
The Last Months Traci Kornhauser
Our Song Jennifer Dalrymple-Mozisek
It’s Been a While Catherine Starr
Reaching Mom Analise Antone
4. SUICIDE
I Never Knew Rosanne Martorella
I Am Krysteen Hernandez
Beyond Surviving: Suggestions for Survivors Iris M. Bolton
Learning from My Past Rachael Bennett
Another Statistic Amanda Parmenter
5. TRAGEDY
An Unbreakable Bond Sara Preston
Losing the Best Garrett Drew
Turn It Upside Down Jessie Williams
Sorrowful Lesson James Kisner
Someone to Watch over Me Eva Unga
A House Is Not a Home Zan Gaudioso
Building Bridges Charlie Simmons
6. ABUSE
Losing Myself Jenny Deyo
Help Me Hawon Lee
Nightmares Kara MacDonald
7. ON COURAGE
The Birth of an Adult Jonathan Krasnoff
Unstoppable Nick Springer as told to Stephanie Booth
The Long Journey Home Phillip Thuss
Born to Win Jake Repp
Lumps Christina Angeles
Go for the Gold Michael Munds
The Walk That Changed Our Lives Maggie McCarthy
8. LEARNING DIFFICULT LESSONS
What My Father Wore Bret Anthony Johnston
The Graduation Speech Cheryl Costello-Forshey
The Purse Tal Vigderson
Friends to the End Jenny Michaels as told to Cynthia Hamond
I’m Sorry . . . Teal Henderson
A Different View Zan Gaudioso
It’s Just the Way We Are Kristy Glassen
My Greatest Teacher William Elliott
9. EATING DISORDERS & DEPRESSION
Starving for Control Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Just One of Those Days Jenny Sharaf
Suffering in Silence Ruth Greenspan as told to C. S. Dweck
Cookie-Cutter Hands Kelly Peters as told to Rebecca Woolf
Numb Jessica Dubose
10. DEATH & DYING
This Too Shall Pass Kimberly Kirberger
Seize the Day Teal Henderson
Some People Come Lauren Anderson
My Guardian Angel Meghan O’Brien
And Then I Tell My Story Maria Piñedo
I Wonder as I Wander Hilary Begleiter
The Death of a Friend Cassius Weathersby III
Timeless Friendship Andrea Wellman
Grandma’s Words of Wisdom Heather Deederly
Smiles in My Heart Sara Tylutki
Let’s Go Dancing in the Rain Claire Hayenga
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me David M. Romano
Wherever You Go Kari Fiegen
11. GROWING UP
Somewhere in the Middle Liza Ortego
Losing Becky Gwynne Garfinkle
Something I Couldn’t See Caroline Smith
My Grandma Told Stories William Elliott
Where the Locks Click Open Stephanie Hsu
Rolling Down Summer’s Hills C. S. Dweck
Who Is Jack Canfield?
Who Is Mark Victor Hansen?
Who Is Kimberly Kirberger?
Contributors
Permissions
Introduction
Dear Teens,
Six years ago we had the idea to write a Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul book for teenagers. As you know, it was very well received and millions of teens have found comfort and support in the stories that were written by their fellow teens. We received thousands of letters requesting that we compile more books for teens. These requests, combined with the deluge of stories that were being sent, gave us the needed motivation and resources to continue the series.
Every week we continue to receive hundreds of letters and stories from teenagers around the world via the Internet and through the mail. As we read the mountain of mail, we began to notice that the chapter on tough stuff was the most popular chapter in the books. After a while, we began to get requests for an entire book on tough stuff. Our response to these requests is the book you now hold in your hands.
For those of you who might be new to the Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul series, Tough Stuff has been a chapter in all of our previous books that included the more challenging issues and experiences of being a teenager, such as drugs and alcohol, rejection, loss of friendships and relationships, death, suicide, divorce, physical and emotional abuse, and eating disorders.
Although the content of these stories is often disturbing and sometimes even tragic, the potential for insight, learning and “growing up” is enormous. We believe this is the reason for the overwhelming response to these types of stories. For example, we have had stories in previous books that dealt with the death of a parent. This is one of every child’s worst fears and one might question the benefit of including such stories. However, we have repeatedly heard comments such as these from our readers: “After reading that story, I immediately sat down and wrote my parents a letter apologizing for giving them such a hard time.” And, “Though my mom and I still have our little arguments, it is different now. I appreciate her so much more and I KNOW that everything she does is because she loves me. I didn’t really understand that before reading that story.” We rarely print a story unless the person writing it has learned or realized something profound from their experience. Hopefully, this lesson gets passed on to you, the reader, and will spare you similar pain. At the very least, it will let you know that you are not alone in the world with your challenges.
One of our most important criteria for including a story is that it leaves the reader a better person for having read it. An example of this is the much-loved poem “Somebody Should Have Taught Him” from the
first Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul book. In this poem a young girl is killed by a drunk driver on her way home from a party where she chose not to drink. It is an extremely emotional poem that still makes us cry when we read it. The response this simple but powerful poem has evoked from thousands of teenagers is a newfound commitment to never drink and drive. Many teens have written letters promising this to their parents; others have designed contracts that they have signed with witnesses, while in other cases some teens simply made a promise to themselves that they have written about to us. The most gratifying part of all of this is that years later we have received follow-up letters informing us that they have kept their solemn commitment.
Another subject we touch upon in our Tough Stuff chapter is eating disorders. There was a story in Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul about a girl and her difficult, but ultimately successful, recovery from anorexia. Several months after the book was released, Mark Victor Hansen was approached by two people in tears at a booksigning asking if they could have a minute of his time. They told him that their daughter had received the book as a graduation gift. She was about to leave for college and everyone was excited. When she spent the entire weekend before her departure alone in her room, they became upset. The parents thought their daughter should at least find some time to spend with them before she left.
Sunday night she came downstairs and asked if they could talk. She sat down with them and announced she would not be leaving the following day for college. She went on to say that she had an eating disorder and now, after reading Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, she was able to find the courage to be honest with them about it. She said she felt weak and scared for her life. She asked her parents to take her to see a doctor first thing in the morning. They did and her fears were confirmed. She was on the brink of death and, had she not come forward when she did, she would have died. At the time they told Mark this story, she was still in the hospital.
There are no words to describe what we feel when we hear this kind of story. We are grateful and we are humbled, but more than anything, we are certain that as long as these stories are changing lives, we will continue to compile these books.
Guidelines for Reading This Book
Be aware that this is an entire book of stories about difficult and often tragic events. Although a Chicken Soup story always contains something that is inspiring, uplifting or life-changing, the most positive element in some of these stories might be your response to do something different in your own life more than the content of the story itself.
Read this book one story at a time.
It is not necessary to read the stories in the order they appear in the book. In fact, you may find it preferable to skip around and read the stories that you are drawn to as opposed to reading an entire chapter from beginning to end. Trust your intuition.
Parents of younger children (as well as older brothers and sisters) should be aware that many of these stories may not be appropriate for children who are not yet teenagers (ten- to twelve-year-olds). We suggest you read the stories first and then decide which ones are suitable for your child (or younger sibling).
We started this book with a chapter on self-acceptance because we feel that this is the most important issue facing teens today. These are stories about embarrassment, harassment and teasing, and were rated very highly by our panel of teen readers. The story “I Kiss Like a Horse” uses some strong language when describing the cruelty that was inflicted upon the writer. We debated long and hard about changing some of the words (like slut and whore), which we felt might be offensive to some readers, but in the end we felt it would detract from the impact of the story. Sadly, this is a very common situation that teenage girls are faced with, and we felt it was very important to leave the story as it was written in the hopes that it would help other girls facing the same kind of verbal and emotional abuse, as well as sensitize teenage boys and girls to the incredibly damaging power of their words.
In an effort to provide as much support as we could to those of you who are facing similar tough stuff in your lives, we have listed some useful hotlines and Web sites at the end of many stories and in the back of the book. If you are facing a challenge similar to that addressed in one of the stories, we encourage you to reach out for help. We also hope you will encourage your friends and brothers and sisters to use these valuable resources as well.
Keep in mind that part of growing up is learning how to deal with difficult issues, and the benefits can be great if you have the courage to ask for help. Human beings are not designed to go through life alone. No one has to bear the burden of the tough times all by themselves. There are thousands of dedicated professionals (teachers, counselors, ministers, therapists and psychologists) as well as competent and caring volunteers who have devoted their lives to helping teens through the tough stuff. Have the courage to reach out to some of them and let them help you.
Our hearts are with you as you read these stories and as you confront the unique challenges of your life. We pray that each and every one of you find comfort, hope and inspiration in the courage, strength and faith of the teenagers who have bravely shared their stories with you on the pages that follow.
All our love,
Kimberly, Jack and Mark
To everything there is a season
And a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is
planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones
together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1–8
1
ON SELF-
ACCEPTANCE
. . . And you help each other realize that all the things you want to be . . . you already are.
Gretchen, Dawson’s Creek
I Kiss Like a Horse
Forgiveness means letting go of a hurtful situation and moving on with your own happiness.
Amanda Ford
He was the first boy to ask me to prom. He was also the first boy to dump me two days before the dance. My dress was scarlet, and I spent every afternoon after school on my tiptoes, dancing before the mirror with my hair in my hands, daydreaming about a slow dance under blue lights and perhaps a swift caress under falling stars.
Max was a junior, and I was a freshman. Max had a car, and I had a bike. Max hung out with girls who were, in my opinion, straight-up mean. These girls liked Max and hated me. I was too young to be with Max. I wasn’t cool enough. I didn’t scream and fight and smoke weed at high-school parties. A week after our breakup, I awoke late in the night to the shrieks of girls’ voices and the horns of several cars.
“You slut! Max never liked you. Stay away from our guys from now on. . . . He was just using you! You’re so-o-o-o stupid!” I didn’t move. I didn’t even look out the window. I was afraid they’d see me and keep yelling.
“Come on guys, let’s go,” one girl shouted. And then they were gone.
I just lay there dumbfounded. I woke up early the next morning and surveyed the damage. Toilet paper wasn’t that big of a deal. I had been toilet-papered before. But the chocolate syrup on the garage door wasn’t pleasant. “You Kiss Like a Horse” it said, and the stains lingered long after I tried to hose them down. The driveway was painted with half a dozen cruel phrases describing untrue details of my nonexistent sex life. I kept my m
outh shut, though, and laughed it off. They were all lies, so what did it matter?
Everyone knew the next day at school.
“You must be so embarrassed,” she said.
“I feel so sorry for you,” he said.
“So what does a horse kiss like?” he asked.
“Did you really have sex with him?” she asked.
“Shut up, who cares, whatever,” I said. “And, no, I didn’t have sex with him.”
Max was one of the only boys I had ever kissed, and I guess I wasn’t a very good kisser. I bit his tongue once or twice, and he bled. At the time, he was sweet about it.
“It’s cool . . .” he had said, wiping the blood from his lip. “It doesn’t hurt. You can bite me all you want.”
I guess when the game is over all bets are off, though.
The taunting didn’t stop—it only got worse. A few weeks later the older girls had a “list” photocopied and circulated around school. Not only was my name associated with biting and horses, but now I was number one on the “High-School Whore List.”
“I’m not a whore,” I sighed in the girls’ bathroom as I was washing my hands. The paper signs were taped everywhere. I tore them down.
All I did was kiss him. And I didn’t even do it right. “I’m not a whore!” I screamed at two dozen eyes stripping me of my innocence. I was disgusting to them. I was disgusting to everybody. I was even starting to believe that I was all the things they said I was. It’s funny how easy rumors are to believe, even if they are about you. I carried myself differently. I went to parties and kissed all the boys. I wanted them to tell me that I wasn’t a sloppy kisser, that I wasn’t a horse, and that I wasn’t a bad person. No one ever cleared my name, though. Instead, they all tried unsuccessfully to bring me home with them. After all, I was the “easiest and cheapest date in school.”
I was never able to fulfill my prom fantasy, let alone wear my gown or get my hair done. It was hard enough staying home the night of the prom, barefoot on the couch between my parents watching I Love Lucy.
The dress was still hanging in my closet the night the phone rang, my beautiful never-been-worn shoes still neatly in their paper box. I answered the phone.