Produced by Robert Cicconetti, V. L. Simpson and the OnlineDistributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
Transcriber's Notes:
This etext was produced from "Worlds of If" November 1961. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.
Obvious typesetting errors have been corrected. ========================================================
GAMBLER'SWORLD
By KEITH LAUMER
Illustrated by GAUGHAN
I
Retief paused before a tall mirror to check the overlap of the four setsof lapels that ornamented the vermilion cutaway of a First Secretary andConsul.
"Come along, Retief," Magnan said. "The Ambassador has a word to say tothe staff before we go in."
"I hope he isn't going to change the spontaneous speech he plans to makewhen the Potentate impulsively suggests a trade agreement along thelines they've been discussing for the last two months."
"Your derisive attitude is uncalled for, Retief," Magnan said sharply."I think you realize it's delayed your promotion in the Corps."
Retief took a last glance in the mirror. "I'm not sure I want apromotion," he said. "It would mean more lapels."
Ambassador Crodfoller pursed his lips, waiting until Retief and Magnantook places in the ring of Terrestrial diplomats around him.
"A word of caution only, gentlemen," he said. "Keep always foremost inyour minds the necessity for our identification with the Nenni Caste.Even a hint of familiarity with lower echelons could mean the failure ofthe mission. Let us remember that the Nenni represent authority here onPetreac. Their traditions must be observed, whatever our personalpreferences. Let's go along now. The Potentate will be making hisentrance any moment."
Magnan came to Retief's side as they moved toward the salon.
"The Ambassador's remarks were addressed chiefly to you, Retief," hesaid. "Your laxness in these matters is notorious. Naturally, I believefirmly in democratic principles myself--"
"Have you ever had a feeling, Mr. Magnan, that there's a lot going onhere that we don't know about?"
Magnan nodded. "Quite so. Ambassador Crodfoller's point exactly. Matterswhich are not of concern to the Nenni are of no concern to us."
"Another feeling I get is that the Nenni aren't very bright. Nowsuppose--"
"I'm not given to suppositions, Retief. We're here to implement thepolicies of the Chief of Mission. And I should dislike to be in theshoes of a member of the staff whose conduct jeopardized the agreementthat will be concluded here tonight."
* * * * *
A bearer with a tray of drinks rounded a fluted column, shied as heconfronted the diplomats, fumbled the tray, grabbed and sent a glasscrashing to the floor.
Magnan leaped back, slapping at the purple cloth of his pants leg.Retief's hand shot out to steady the tray. The servant rolled terrifiedeyes.
"I'll take one of these, now that you're here," Retief said. He took aglass from the tray, winking at the servant.
"No harm done," he said. "Mr. Magnan's just warming up for the bigdance."
A Nenni major-domo bustled up, rubbing his hands politely.
"Some trouble here?" he said. "What happened, Honorables, what,what...."
"The blundering idiot," Magnan spluttered. "How dare--"
"You're quite an actor, Mr. Magnan," Retief said. "If I didn't knowabout your democratic principles, I'd think you were really mad."
The servant ducked his head and scuttled away.
"Has this fellow...." The major-domo eyed the retreating bearer.
"I dropped my glass," Retief said. "Mr. Magnan's upset because he hatesto see liquor wasted."
Retief turned to find himself face-to-face with Ambassador Crodfoller.
"I witnessed that," The Ambassador hissed. "By the goodness ofProvidence, the Potentate and his retinue haven't appeared yet. But Ican assure you the servants saw it. A more un-Nenni-like display I wouldfind it difficult to imagine!"
Retief arranged his features in an expression of deep interest.
"More un-Nenni-like, sir?" he said. "I'm not sure I--"
"Bah!" The Ambassador glared at Retief, "Your reputation has precededyou, sir. Your name is associated with a number of the most bizarreincidents in Corps history. I'm warning you; I'll tolerate nothing." Heturned and stalked away.
"Ambassador-baiting is a dangerous sport, Retief," Magnan said.
Retief took a swallow of his drink. "Still," he said, "it's better thanno sport at all."
"Your time would be better spent observing the Nenni mannerisms.Frankly, Retief, you're not fitting into the group at all well."
"I'll be candid with you, Mr. Magnan. The group gives me the willies."
"Oh, the Nenni are a trifle frivolous, I'll concede," Magnan said. "Butit's with them that we must deal. And you'd be making a contribution tothe overall mission if you merely abandoned that rather arrogant mannerof yours." Magnan looked at Retief critically. "You can't help yourheight, of course. But couldn't you curve your back just a bit--andpossibly assume a more placating expression? Just act a little more...."
"Girlish?"
"Exactly." Magnan nodded, then looked sharply at Retief.
Retief drained his glass and put it on a passing tray.
"I'm better at acting girlish when I'm well juiced," he said. "But Ican't face another sorghum-and-soda. I suppose it would be un-Nenni-liketo slip the bearer a credit and ask for a Scotch and water."
"Decidedly." Magnan glanced toward a sound across the room.
"Ah, here's the Potentate now!" He hurried off.
Retief watched the bearers coming and going, bringing trays laden withdrinks, carrying off empties. There was a lull in the drinking now, asthe diplomats gathered around the periwigged Chief of State and hiscourtiers. Bearers loitered near the service door, eyeing the notables.Retief strolled over to the service door, pushed through it into anarrow white-tiled hall filled with the odors of the kitchen. Silentservants gaped as he passed, watching as he moved along to the kitchendoor and stepped inside.