I Don't Know How to Say This
By, Natalia Sadie Anderson
Copyright 2012
I don’t know how to say this. But I can’t stay. I must leave, I can’t explain, I love you, but this is for your own good, you may not find me again, but that is most likely good thing.
I’ll miss you,
Sadie
Most people will never hear of Sadie again, they may think they can find me, but they can’t and they won’t. It will be impossible for I will have disappeared of the face of the earth, and for the best. And nobody can know where I go or why I left. You see Sadie is not your average person, nor is she a person you’d want to know. Sadie is sullen and mean, and everyone knows that. And Sadie, always being outcast, the problem got worse. So now she left, whether it’s good or bad, Sadie left, and will never go back, ever.
Sadie was born with the biggest smile on her face. She loved everyone and everything, and saved anything she saw that was in pain. Until the day she disappeared, as though into thin air Sadie’s mother was gone. Sadie was never the same, she was mean, and she no longer cared about anyone else’s feelings. Her friends left her, except one, whose name is Roxie. She always believed in Sadie, that Sadie was still worth being friends with no matter what, until that day.
Sadie was many people’s friends before the disappearance, she knew tons about anyone who ever was friends with them, so her remarks cut deep and caused everlasting pain for those kids. Sadie had hurt everyone, except Roxie, Roxie seemed to be the only one that actually cared about Sadie, so Sadie was her old self around Roxie. Until one day, Roxie mistakenly made a comment about how much fun Sadie and she used to have with the other girls and Sadie’s mom. Roxie never regretted anything more, Sadie was a time bomb and the more Roxie talked about the fun they had had, the faster the time ticked until it reached zero, and Sadie’s rage exploded all over Roxie, and they never spoke again. Ever.
The first time someone called Sadie bad was her 7th birthday, 4 days after her mother disappeared. That was the day all the anger and sadness that had been building up exploded, and everyone got a wind of it. Not only did everyone get it, everyone hated it, Sadie was grounded for a year, she became sullen and never smiled again.
One day, Sadie called everyone she was once friends with, nobody answered, one even had a special message for her on their message machine saying that she shouldn’t even bother to leave a message, because they wouldn’t call her back, and another even picked up then told her that their dad was a cop so she better leave her alone. Roxie even left her a message saying that if she ever heard another word from Sadie, their friendship would be permanently terminated, forever.
Sadie soon realized that even her father had begun to avoid her, in the mornings he went to work early, and he always came home late. Soon, Sadie realized what a burden she was, at school, her teachers and counselors had given up along with her friends and her own father. So she had nothing here, nothing waiting for her, nothing in her future except nothing, and that was the last thing Sadie wanted, so she figured, if my mother disappeared, maybe she just left. So she went on the internet and searches her mother’s name: Christine Marie Harrison. 3 exact matches appeared in the US, one in San Diego, California, one in Austin, Texas, and the last one in Chicago, Illinois. So Sadie jotted the names and addresses down, then checked her piggy bank, it contained enough money to fly, stay, and have leftover money in each state. So Sadie packed then left to the air port leaving a note saying:
I don’t know how to say this. But I can’t stay. I must leave, I can’t explain, I love you, but this is for your own good, you may not find me again, but that is most likely good thing.
I’ll miss you,
Sadie
So she left to the airport, where Mr. Rafferty, Roxie’s father was selling tickets, and the minute he saw Sadie he tried to shut his ticket window, but Sadie stuck her hand into the crack and pushed it back up.
“Sadie, we don’t serve fugitives,” Mr. Rafferty explained, “we only serve normal people with normal errands around the country.”
“I’m not running away from someone or something, I’m going to meet someone.” Sadie said irritably.
“Listen, I don’t care what your errand is; I’m not selling you a ticket to anywhere.” Mr. Rafferty said impatiently.
“Wait!” exclaimed Sadie, “Why won’t you serve me? I’m not doing anything wrong to try and find my mother am I?”
Mr. Rafferty paused, “What’s that you say?”
“I’m going to find my mother; she can’t be gone off the face of the earth you know! So I figure she’s either in California, Texas, or Illinois. And after I leave, I’m don’t ever want to come back, so don’t tell my father, he’ll kill me if he knew. Can you email me so I can know what he is doing exactly? I don’t want him too close on my tail.” Sadie said hurriedly.
Leaving the state, Mr. Rafferty thought, my lucky day! I’ll do anything to get this holy horror out of here! “In that case here’s your tickets and my email, have a lovely time searching the country!”
“I’m not sure how to put this but, thank you Mr. Rafferty, thank you so so much!” said Sadie, flashing into her old self.
The money exchanged hands then Sadie hopped on the plane headed for San Diego International airport.