The author gratefully acknowledges
Ellen Miles
for her help in
preparing this manuscript.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Letter from Ann M. Martin
About the Author
Scrapbook
Also Available
Copyright
“And now, mademoiselles, if you please: a pas de bourrée couru, en cinquième, with port de bras, ending in an arabesque. One at a time, please … and begin!” Mme Noelle banged her stick on the floor to emphasize her words.
A stranger might have thought they’d wandered into some other world — and in a way, they’d be right. A ballet studio is another world — a world where movement is everything, and where words are shorthand for what our bodies should be doing.
Pah deh boure-ay koo-roo? On sank-eeyem? With por deh brah? And an ara-besk? Sounds crazy, but what Mme Noelle, our teacher, wanted us to do was to move on our toes across the floor, holding our arms in graceful patterns, and end by standing on one toe with our arms held out to the sides. That’s what all those words meant. They’re French.
I don’t speak French, but I know those words, and a lot of others, because French is the language of ballet, and I’ve been studying ballet since I was four. I’m eleven now, so that’s a long time!
“Jessica Romsey, please take your turn!” said Mme Noelle.
Jessica Romsey, that’s me. Except most people call me Jessi, and my last name’s Ramsey, not Romsey. It’s just that elegant accent of Mme Noelle’s; everything comes out sounding kind of — well, kind of fancy.
I closed my eyes for a second, picturing what I was about to do. I wanted to do the best pas de bourrée I’d ever done. Why? Because this was the final stage in the final auditions for a big production that was going to be put on by my ballet school. We were going to be putting on The Sleeping Beauty. And I was trying out for the lead!
I took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and rose onto my toes. Then I began. I was so focused that I was hardly aware of Mme Noelle’s attention, but I knew she was watching every single muscle in my body, checking to make sure that I was in complete control.
Normally, as I bourrée’d past her, Madame would be making comments like, “Long neck, Mademoiselle Romsey!” or, “Use zee onkles!” (That’s “ankles,” just in case you were wondering.) But this wasn’t a class. This was an audition. And I was on my own.
I finished the bourrée and went into an arabesque, stretching my arms gracefully (I hoped). Then I clomped off the stage area, my toe shoes clacking with every step.
I watched the other girls do what I’d done, one at a time. There are a lot of good dancers in my class, which makes sense — it is, after all, an advanced class. Take Mary Bramstedt, for example. Right then she was bourrée-ing across the floor, in perfect form. She always seems to be in perfect form. But I think (and this is just my personal opinion — I’d never say it out loud) that there’s something missing when she dances. Something like — I know this might sound really silly but — passion. She’s kind of like a robot, you know?
I don’t think anyone could mistake me for a robot — and not just because I’m not always in perfect form. As far as I know, there aren’t too many black robots running around — in fact, there are probably even fewer black robots than there are black ballerinas.
Luckily, there are a few black ballerinas now. Twenty years ago, there weren’t any. And someone like me, with skin the color of cocoa and eyes like coal, could never have dreamed of joining a ballet company. But now I can dream. And it makes me glad, because I absolutely, positively love to dance.
So does Carrie Steinfeld, and it was showing as she did her bourrée. She’s a great dancer — one of the best in the class. She’s also one of the oldest students in the class, and she’ll be graduating soon. This might be her last chance to get a starring role in a production — a role that would really give her an edge if she could add it to her résumé.
Without having had a role like Princess Aurora, the leading part in The Sleeping Beauty, Carrie might have a hard time getting into another dance school for older students. And she’d have hardly any chance at all of joining a ballet company. The ballet world is very competitive.
“Very nice, Mademoiselle Steinfeld,” said Mme Noelle. I bit my lip. She hadn’t said anything when I finished my bourrée. I tried not to worry about it. It might not mean a thing, after all.
I found Mme Noelle very intimidating when I first joined this school, back when my family moved to Stoneybrook, Connecticut. That was not too long ago, when my dad was transferred to the Stamford office of his firm. The move was tough on the whole family.
It was tough for the usual reasons — leaving friends and family, coming to a strange new place — but there were other reasons that made it even worse. The neighborhood we used to live in, in New Jersey, was completely integrated. So were the schools. But in Stoneybrook, it’s different. Here there are very few black families. People just weren’t used to seeing black faces — and they didn’t make us feel too welcome. In fact, it was the opposite.
But over time, we’ve all made friends in Stoneybrook, and our lives have settled down. I’d have to say that my family is pretty happy here now. And for me, one of the best parts of the move was getting into this dance school. The school isn’t actually in Stoneybrook — it’s in Stamford, where my dad’s office is. It’s one of the best on the East Coast — if you don’t count the really big ones in New York City. And Mme Noelle is known throughout the ballet community as an excellent teacher. I don’t find her quite so intimidating anymore.
I looked up to see that Katie Beth Parsons had just finished her routine. She looked pretty happy with herself, but then she usually does. She’s kind of one of Madame’s pets — she has been since she was the youngest member of the class when she joined it. Now that I’ve joined, she isn’t the youngest anymore (she’s twelve), but she’s still a favorite of Madame’s.
“Nice work, Katie Beth,” I said as she came off the stage.
She looked at me suspiciously. “Thanks,” she said, as if she weren’t sure whether or not I meant the compliment. Katie Beth and I have not always been the best of friends — in fact, there have been times when we were downright enemies — but we’ve been getting along pretty well lately. Still, the atmosphere at most auditions isn’t the friendliest.
Katie Beth pulled at the elastic of her leotard as she stood next to me, watching the rest of the students complete the routine. “I hate this stupid thing,” she said. “I wish we could wear whatever we wanted instead of these.”
We were all wearing the exact same outfits: a black leotard with pink tights. It’s kind of like the uniform for my class. I could just imagine the scene if we were allowed to wear anything: There’d be so much neon in the place that it would look like Times Square. I myself don’t really mind having to wear the same thing to each class — in fact, it’s good to have one less thing to decide on as I pack my dance bag.
And it’s not as if we can’t express our individuality. There’s room for that in how we each decide to do our hair. The only requirement is that it be “off zee face,” as Mme Noelle
puts it. I like to wrap mine into a tight bun or to braid it. Carrie usually has some kind of ponytail on the side of her head. And Hilary — well, Hilary’s a whole different story.
Hilary Morgan always has the best of everything. A brand-new leotard every few weeks. New toe shoes as often as she needs them. (The rest of us have to make them last — toe shoes are awfully expensive.) And she doesn’t do her own hair — she gets it “done” in a very fancy French braid a few times a week.
It’s not that Hilary’s family is all that rich (although they’re certainly not poor). It’s just that Hilary’s career as a dancer is top priority with her mom. See, Mrs. Morgan used to be a ballet dancer herself, but she gave up her career to have a family. As I understand it (from what I’ve overheard in the dressing room) she’s one of the worst “stage mothers” in the history of the school. She really pushes Hilary all the time; I know because I’ve seen her do it. She actually sits and watches our entire two-hour class sometimes!
Luckily, she wasn’t watching that day — we didn’t need any distractions. I don’t think Mme Noelle would have tolerated a visitor during auditions anyway.
All of a sudden, I noticed that the last dancers had finished. Auditions were over. Mme Noelle called us all out onto the stage. She looked us up and down without saying a word. Then she smiled.
“All of my mademoiselles have done very, very well today,” she said. “But only one can be zee Princess Aurora.” Suddenly she clapped her hands three times. “Go now!” she said. “Change zee clothes. When you are ready, come back. I will give my decision zen.”
We all scurried into the dressing room and raced to be the first out of our leotards. Everybody was talking at once, asking the others how they’d looked as they performed.
“Did you notice when I shook on the arabesque?” asked Lisa Jones, as she pulled on an oversized sweat shirt. I like Lisa, but sometimes she worries too much about her performance in class.
I shook my head. “Sorry, but I wasn’t paying that much attention,” I said. “I think I was on Mars for awhile there.” That’s what it had felt like — I’d been concentrating so hard that I felt like I’d been on a different planet.
“I thought I’d die by the time I bourrée’d across that whole huge stage,” said Hilary. “It’s not fair that the stage is so much bigger than our usual studio.”
“Sure it’s fair,” said Carrie. “We all have to do the same thing on the same stage, don’t we?”
“I guess,” said Hilary. But she didn’t sound convinced.
I stuffed my leotard and tights into my dance bag, and then carefully wrapped the ribbons around my toe shoes and laid them on top. You have to take very good care of them, otherwise they won’t last.
“I just hope Madame noticed how much I’ve been working on my arm movements,” said Carrie. She stuffed her toe shoes into her bag, got up, and left the dressing room.
“Actually, she better hope that Madame didn’t notice she’s completely over the hill,” said Hilary, giggling.
Over the hill! It was true that Carrie was one of the oldest students in class, but really! She’s only a few years older than me! Ballet may look like a graceful, dainty world — but it’s not. It’s as tough and competitive as any sport. I could have spoken up in Carrie’s defense, but I held my tongue. I don’t like to get into any of the gossip and backbiting that often goes on in the dressing room.
Hilary looked in the mirror and patted her still perfectly braided hair. “I’m just dying to dance Princess Aurora,” she said. “What a great part.” Then she spun on her heel and headed out of the room.
“The rest of us just better pray that she doesn’t get that part,” said Katie Beth. “If she does, we’ll have to put up with Mrs. Morgan practically sitting in our laps during every rehearsal!”
“I know,” said Lisa. “I think Hilary’s mom would dance the part for her, if she could.”
I shook my head and kept quiet. Everybody was being pretty catty that day. I guess the auditions brought it out.
Finally we were all finished changing. We sat in a semicircle on the floor of the dance studio, facing Mme Noelle. She was seated on a chair, and she looked very serious.
“Zee Sleeping Beauty is one of zee most beautiful ballets in zee world,” she began. “To perform in it is a privilege, no matter how small zee role.”
Right. But none of us wanted “zee small roles.” We all wanted the lead.
“To begin,” said Mme Noelle, “zee part of zee Lilac Fairy will be donced by Lisa Jones.”
Lisa smiled. I don’t think she had really expected to get the lead. The Lilac Fairy is a pretty good role, and she looked happy to get it.
“Next,” said Mme Noelle, “zee part of zee Bluebird of Happiness.” That part is usually played by a man, but it sounded like someone from our class would be playing it instead. There aren’t too many boys in the school — and there are none in our class. “Zis will be donced by Carrie Steinfeld.”
Carrie let out a breath, then pressed her lips together and tried to smile at Mme Noelle. “Thank you,” she said. “I know that the Bluebird’s pas de deux is famous. I will try to do it justice.”
I had to hand it to her — she handled the disappointment well.
“And now,” said Mme Noelle, “I will tell zee news you are all waiting for.” She paused. “Zere is only one student in zis class who has zee talent and zee je ne sais quois to bring zee role of Princess Aurora to life.”
Zhuh-nuh-seh-kwah? What on earth did that mean? I’d never heard the expression before.
“Zat student is Mademoiselle Romsey,” finished Mme Noelle.
I was still trying to figure out what she meant, and I didn’t really hear my name. The next thing I knew, Lisa was giving me a quick hug. “All right, Jessi,” she said. “You did it again!” She seemed genuinely happy for me.
“Congratulations,” said Katie Beth sort of half-heartedly. I smiled vaguely. It still hadn’t sunk in that I had won the role. That meant that I had gotten yet another lead in a production! I’d loved dancing in Swan Lake. And playing Swanilda in Coppélia had been pretty incredible. But the Princess Aurora! It was the role of a lifetime.
When I finally came to my senses, I was alone in the room. Except for Mme Noelle. She was smiling gently at me. “Congratulations, Jessica,” she said. “You earned zee part.”
“Thank you, Madame,” I said, blushing. “But there’s one thing I want to know. What does ‘zhuh-nuh-seh-kwah’ mean?”
“It simply means ‘zat certain something’ — zat indescribable feeling,” she answered. “And you, my mademoiselle, possess it.”
I blushed again. Then I thanked her once more, said good-bye, and ran out to wait for my ride home.
Hilary Morgan’s mother pulled up just as I reached the outside stairs, where we all wait for our parents. Hilary started to walk toward the car, looking like she was headed for a funeral.
“Did you get the lead?” called Mrs. Morgan loudly.
Hilary shook her head. I saw Mrs. Morgan frown and heard her start to lecture as Hilary got into the car. “Didn’t I tell you …” she began.
I turned away — I just couldn’t listen to any more. Part of me almost wished that Hilary had gotten the part. Poor Hilary. But — I have to admit it — a bigger part of me was so happy I could hardly stand it. “Princess Aurora,” I said to myself softly. “Princess Aurora.”
After Hilary left, I sat down to wait for my dad. I was still in a state of shock about getting the lead, but I thought that — just for fun — I’d play it cool with him.
Pretty soon, Daddy pulled up in front of the steps. I opened the car door and slid in, throwing my dance bag onto the backseat.
“Hi, baby!” he said, giving me a kiss. He started the car, and I saw him looking at me out of the corner of his eye as he pulled into traffic. He was being careful not to be pushy — but I could tell he was dying to know how the auditions had gone. “How did it go?” he asked casually.
/>
“Pretty well,” I answered, just as casually. “I mean, okay, I guess.” I was bursting with my news, but I guess I also just felt like holding it in for a little while.
We’d only gone about three blocks before I couldn’t stand it anymore. “Daddy!” I said. “I did it! I’m Aurora!”
He turned to grin at me. “All right!” he said, holding up his hand for a high five. “I knew you could do it.” A horn honked, and Daddy straightened out the car.
“I want to hear all about it,” he said, “but let’s wait till we’re home, so you can tell everybody all at once.” Then he pulled the car over to the curb and turned off the engine. “Wait here,” he said. “I’m going to run into the store for some ice cream. We’ve got something to celebrate tonight!”
The minute we pulled into our driveway, Becca came running out of the front door. “Did you get a part?” she asked excitedly. Mama was right behind her, carrying Squirt. Aunt Cecelia stood in the doorway, holding a dishcloth.
Becca is my little sister. She’s eight and a half, and she’s a pretty great kid, even if she does drive me up the wall sometimes. She’s really bright, and she has a great imagination. Becca loves to come and see me in my productions. In fact, she’d probably like to be in one herself — except for one thing. Becca has the worst case of stage fright I’ve ever seen.
Squirt, who was now looking at me and saying, “Buh!” with a big smile on his face, is just a toddler. Squirt’s not his real name, of course. His real name is John Philip Ramsey, Jr. — but Squirt suits him much better. He was named that by the nurses at the hospital where he was born, because he was the smallest baby there. He only weighed five pounds, eight ounces back then! Now he’s a big lug — a big, squirmy lug, who was doing his best to get out of Mama’s arms.
“I’ll take him,” I said. “C’mere, Squirt-man.” I took him from Mama and balanced him on my hip. I smiled at him. “How does it feel to be carried by a princess?” I asked.
Mama gasped. “You got the role?” she asked.
“Yup,” I answered. “Princess Aurora, at your service.”