Long Way Back
Orbit the Sun – Part 8
By John Stevenson
Copyright 2014 John Stevenson
People were sat: and standing, outside the surgery in a line; they were hung over, sullen and extremely unhappy with having to wait to be seen, but nobody complained. Ralph was stood by the door and he made sure nobody would.
Bethany had been alone when they started to arrive and it was soon clear that she couldn’t cope on her own; distraught, as Emma was she was needed.
Emma had prescribed herself a mild neuro-sedative and got back to work: the drug limited her decisions, but she didn’t need any diagnostic skill’s for cut’s and contusions, and there were a lot of those.
Peter had been good to his word, he quitened down the situation, but his methods had been violent. Hand over the alcohol or get beaten; hand over the food or get beaten; behave or get beaten. As for any sexual offence word soon spread that cooled even the most aroused. Men and women alike he brutally enforced compliance, and order was restored.
Before it had it had been chaotic. Drunken groups roamed the station looking for fun or trouble, which amounted to the same. Matt had desperately searched for Jennifer to eventually find her and several of the other women safely barricaded in one of the hotel rooms, guarded by two of the guests and Stephan.
The aftermath didn’t leave everyone safe and there were three found dead. A maid Lucy had hung herself, one of the Americans had indications of a heart attack, and Clive was found with some of the stolen drugs in his pockets.
Peter hadn’t eased off after he had restored order, instead: under Andrews direction, he got people back to work: or if they didn’t have one he gave them jobs to clean up, and get the station back to functioning order. To almost everybody on the station he had become feared, but that wasn’t how Andrew felt.
Such things weren’t at the forefront of Matt's mind as he searched for Jennifer. After what he had witnessed he was as afraid of the man as anyone, but he wasn’t scared in the way the others were. Training in his navy days had taught him that Danger was a motivator to stay alive and there had been quite a few times that had made him focus on staying alive. Back then the dread that he was going to die had loomed, yet never came, but now that time had arrived. Nobody had ever said how long it took to accept your fate but he seemed to have gone through all the stages quicker than he expected. Maybe it was the certainty of death that made it acceptable. The fact was that we all accept death as we live through our lives toward it; mostly we hope it will be a long time coming, but when it is imminent it too focus’s the mind and Matt’s mind was focused on Jennifer. It seemed now that ever since she had come aboard he had to constantly remind himself he was married; it was a poor shield against his emotions considering his marriage was as good as over. But even ignoring that there was every reason not to want to fall in love: she had let him down when his feelings for her were most vulnerable. Her past: forced upon her or not, was not one he once had thought he could ever accept, and if they weren’t enough she too was married; she was everything he didn’t want. He didn’t love her: at least not yet, but she had wormed her way into his heart.
He passed from one pod to another looking for her to eventually find men outside an apartment. They were alert to his arrival, protective, and pleased to see him. One of them: a visitor Richard, had grabbed his hand as he came up to them.
“Thank God there’s at least one other person who’s not gone crazy. What’s happening back there?”
Matt remembered he was the man who had fathered Bethany’s child. “You name it, and somebody is doing it… Have you seen Jenn… The Russian woman?”
He nodded. “She’s inside with the others.”
Matt felt a greater surge of relief than he had expected.
“When all hell broke loose we could see what was going to happen if we didn’t get all the women we could out of the way?”
“Good man.”
Richards’s tone became more serious. “We couldn’t find some…”
“There are another three are in the surgery with the commander.”
Richard genuinely seemed happier.
“It should be over soon; there are people getting order back; they should be here before much longer?”
“It won’t be soon enough; I’m not used to this kind of thing; still I feel a lot safer that you’re here now.”
Matt wasn’t sure how to reply. “Yea… we’ll, I guess the girls feel the same way about you guys?”
Richard was opening the door and concerned faces confronted Matt. “You can leave soon… Things are being brought under control.” He said reassuringly said as he searched for Jennifer. She was towards the back stood against the window. She looked at him and for a moment her face lit up and then it faded, and she turned away.
Matt hadn’t been sure what her reaction would be, but he had hoped for more. “You all need to stay here for just a while longer,” he said. “Everything will soon be back to normal.” It sounded a stupid thing to say; nothing would ever be normal again.
Without making it look too obvious Matt made his way over to Jennifer. She turned towards him as he approached but her face remained blank. “Are you okay?” he said softly.
She nodded.
Matt reached for her hand, but stopped just short of it; he looked into her eyes without speaking.
She looked at his hand and then up at him.
Matt felt discouraged, and he was about to draw his hand back when she reached out and took it.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered.
“No I’m sorry, everything you said was right.”
“I was hurt… I thought.”
“I was too… I never meant for it to happen.”
Matt held her hand tighter, her fingers felt so delicate in his. “Can we try and forget what happened?”
“We can never forget; it is reality, it will always be between us and sooner or later you will remember what I am?” she released his hand.
Matt drew back. She was right one day there would be an argument, and it would resurface. “Jennifer we make many mistakes in our lives, they are always there whatever we do. We can make them barriers so that we never repeat our mistake again, but that's not how we live life. If every time something goes wrong we turn away we never face the real mistake; to accept we are all imperfect. Life isn’t one long parade of days passing it’s a stumble through weakness. Its what makes us grow as a person and become strong. I know whatever I say about how my life has been a mess can’t come anywhere near what you were forced to experience, but living in the past no matter how good or terrible it was, is not living at all. Each day we have a chance to wipe the slate and start again.” He smiled conscious that the other women were looking at him. Even though he felt embarrassed he didn’t want the seconds to move forward, but there was no point in saying anything more. “I’d better go and see what I can do?” he said hoping she would take his hand again or ask him to be with her; she didn’t and he had no excuse to stay.
Matt stood outside and tried to think of something other than her; he was still there when Peter and his hangers on arrived. It was obvious the Richard and Ali were intimidated.
“Who’s in there?” said Peter.
“Some of the women; were looking after them.” Richard said meekly.
Peter made to move towards the door but Matt barred his way. “You heard him,” his voice was hard. “We are looking after them. Your not needed here.”
Peter was in Matt's personal space. “You seem to have forgotten that I’m authorized to check everybody is safe?”
“I haven’t forgotten.”
/> “She’s in there isn’t she?”
“I said your not needed here.”
“Okay…” Peter said in a slow sarcastic way. “Just doing my job as deputy commander. You heard, I’m supposed to make sure everybody is looked after?”
“They are?”
There was a silence.
“Boys it seems were not needed; mother hen here is looking after the chick’s?”
Out of the corner of his eye Matt could see a silly grin on at least one oh Peters thugs face. He knew it was a provocation that he was supposed to rise to but instead he said and did nothing
It seemed an embarrassingly long time before Peter turned away, “Lets see who else we can find breaking the rules?” he glanced back with a leer. “Tell her me and the boys miss her company.”
Matt had to force himself not to say a single word, as they went on through the pod. He turned to see Richard and Ali looking at him their faces almost ashen. “Deputy commander?” Richard almost gasped.
Matt drew in a deep breath.
Richard glanced in the direction Peter had gone as if to make sure he couldn’t hear. “You do know who and what he is?”
Matt nodded. “It doesn’t matter what he is; without order we’re all dead.”
Richard shook his head. “Yea… it’s just going to come a little sooner now?”
Peter surprised Matt, he considered him a man who thrived on disorder and chaos, but the reality was different. Thinking about it, it seemed obvious that criminals rely on order; without order their activities are no more than opportunistic. Peter needed control and without it there was nothing to pervert to his use, but how he restored control to Andrew deeply troubled Matt.
“You have seen the queue?”
“It can’t be helped.”
“What do you mean can’t be helped.” Matt almost snapped.
“Precisely that,” said Andrew back. “Order; chain of command have you forgotten what that is?”
“Restoring order doesn’t justify brutality.”
“Maybe it doesn’t, but in the situation what Peter did was necessary; if any of those in that queue had followed the rules they wouldn’t be there now.”
“I realize that but for gods sake they’re; we’re all going to die, how to you expect them to react?”
“Not by committing rape?”
“No… but the others; getting drunk, or even spacing out; they would have settled down once it was out of their system?”
“And what use would they have been in the meantime; anyone of them could have put us in jeopardy or do I have to remind you how perilous out situation is?”
“He didn’t need to enjoy it.”
“Damn it Mathew that’s subjective; did he or did he not give us the station back?”
“Yes.” Matt begrudgingly replied.
“Then leave it at that?” Andrew put his hand on Matt’s shoulder. “We need to work together; to keep the station functioning as long as we can, it’s all we can do to stay alive?”
“Okay… but asking me to like the man or his methods is more than I can give.”
“If it is any consolation I don’t personally like him either, but that’s not how the chain works.” He smiled. “Look at us: we’ve had our problems, but we both have the same objective. Peter gets things done and that’s what we need; someone who can get things done.”
Matt wasn’t sure where that left him.
“So methods aside what are the casualties; serious ones that is, not wounded pride?”
“I haven’t had chance to talk with Emma, other than about the three deaths.”
“Clive,” Andrew shook his head. “Shame, he was good a good man, even if he did put us where we are.”
“Emma thinks it was probably an overdose, he had some of the stolen drugs in his pocket?”
“Yes, I heard… Does anybody blame me?”
“Blame you? He got us into this mess.”
“Yes but then losing his job on top probably took him over the edge?”
“If he hadn’t done it himself there’s probably more than a few who would have done it to him?”
It was just as Matt was returning to his cabin that Emma told him a different story.
“Matt, remember you asked me if Vladimir was murdered?”
“Yes I remember.”
“I said no, but I’m not sure anymore?”
He looked at her expecting more.
“Do you remember me saying there were traces of blood in his ear?”
“Yes; you said it could have been blood pressure?”
“Clive had the same?”
Matt wasn’t expecting that. “Did he?”
“I thought it was too much of a coincidence, so I had a look inside and there was blood all around his inner ear and his tympanic membrane: his ear drum, was torn?’
“I remember from flight lectures that there could be a few reasons: up here pressure differentials are possible?”
She nodded. “I had a deeper look and there was a hole right the way through his ear and into his skull cavity. It wasn’t a naturally caused injury.”
Matt was stunned. “We’re still talking about Clive?”
“Yes, but now I suspect that that could have been the same with Vladimir.”
Matt tried to thing of explanations. “Any idea what could have caused it?”
“Other than it was a solid, no. There is a lot of tearing and damage that I think was caused by a thin sharp object like a screwdriver.”
Matt winced at the thought of something being forced into his brain.
“It definitely wasn’t a knife, “ she continued. “The trauma appeared only at the leading point of penetration; it’s what you would expect with a screwdriver… I checked around and you wouldn’t believe how many there are on the station?”
Mat was shaking his head in disbelief. “I was hoping I was wrong about Vladimir but now with Clive… have you talked to Andrew?”
“No I’ve just told you because you asked before.”
“We should keep this secret?”
She looked at him in incredulity. “Not tell anyone? You can’t be serious; we have a murderer aboard?”
“You’ve seen what’s just happened; what do you think will happen if everyone knows there’s been a murder?”
Emma’s expression changed. “No one will trust anyone?”
“On the contrary; I know exactly who it is; it’s proving it to everybody that’s going to be the hardest thing?”
Matt arrived back at his cabin to find Jennifer there. She turned in surprise he entered. His initial delight was tempered as his eyes were drawn to the pile of clothes on the chair beside her. “You’re leaving?”
“I thought it best?”
“You don’t have to.”
“Like you said; how can you trust me ever again?”
“I was angry, I didn’t mean it like that?”
“We often tell the truth when we are angry.”
“And we use words as weapons to get even?”
Matt walked closer.
She moved back a little so he stopped. “You should go back to your wife?”
“I probably wont get the chance.”
“No…But you have been lucky, I’ve never found anyone to love and someone who loves you will lose you…”
Matt nodded understandingly.
“Promise me I won’t feel anything?”
He wanted to but he couldn’t.
“Thank you… for being truthful. Men in my life only tell me lies.”
“Jennifer…”
She clutched at her clothes and stepped around him. He saw tears on her cheek.
Matt had reason enough to want never to have anything to do with Peter, but it was now up to the three of them to bury their bitterness and do whatever they could to survive for as long as they could. Rescue form Earth was a remote possibility’ The planet was as good as on the opposite side of the sun, and by the time it got to where they were they wo
uld be heading out between the planets and as far from help as ever. But remote didn’t mean impossible, and while there was even the smallest of possibilities they would keep on trying to find a way.
With Andrew he convinced and cajoled others to carry on and when that didn’t work Peter threats did, but that didn’t stop another suicide.
After waiting until the others were sat, Andrew stood: he always felt that when he had something important to say it had more impact if he was looking down. “I wanted to I talk with you before I speak to everybody…”
There was no reaction after all it was what they had expected when he had told them to come.
“I don’t have to tell you that we stand no chance of achieving our main option of catching Earth up. It was our best option but Earth is so far ahead now that it is completely impossible. Neither is the option: forced upon us, any longer possible as we have no maneuverability; or at least sufficient to get us anywhere near the trajectory to meet Earth head on. Either of these option could have got us back, but we are left with an almost impossible situation; I say almost because there is a another and final option, but before any of you start celebrating it is not only the worst option it is also the one with the possibility of least success.” Even saying that, it is our last chance so we are running down the path of taking it.”
He could see a glimmer of hope in the faces.
“What I am asking is how we can make this work; I’m not asking for reasons why it cant… unless you also can tell me a way in which it can be modified to work. This is not a discussion on what to do; it’s to find out how we can make option three a viable and hopefully successful way to save all our lives… I can’t stress hard enough that this is a last resort, but there is a possibility we can intersect with Earth this side of the sun. It will be a long time coming; even longer than we first assumed before we can, and it’s even possible that we could all be dead by that time, but as I said this is our only option to get back to Earth. So: those of our technical crew will know that while Earthrises thrusters are now useless we do have some maneuverability with the Refuges.”
He looked at Peter.
“Your will probably not be aware but the refuges are in a way self powered. It’s trivial compared to our main thrusters and only for use in desperate situations.”