Manacle
MC Sinners Next Generation, Volume 3
Bella Jewel
Published by Bella Jewel, 2016.
~*Manacle*~
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MANACLE
Copyright © 2016 Bella Jewel
MANACLE is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE | THEN - SKYE
NOW | SKYE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN | TWO WEEKS LATER
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE | ONE MONTH LATER
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT | TWO AND A BIT MONTHS LATER
EPILOGUE | SIX WEEKS LATER
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
As always, my heartfelt thanks to every single blogger, reader and author that has supported my journey. From reading my books, to sharing them, to raving about them, to being there for me. Thank you. My career would be nothing without any of you.
A huge thanks to Kylie from Give Me Books for organizing my reveals and blitzes. You do such an amazing job. No matter how many times I use you, I am always blown away by how efficient you are. Nothing is ever a drama. Thank you for giving me so much support.
A massive thanks to Louisa from LM Creations for this STUNNING cover. I love how effortlessly we work together, and somehow always come up with something this incredible.
To Lauren, my epic editor. You are the best thing since sliced bread, no lie. You seriously are the best person EVER to work with. You are quick and your notes always make me laugh. No one else could ever keep up with my writing pace, but you always nail it.
A big, heartfelt thanks to Rose from Read By Rose for this amazing proofread. You came in at the last moment and helped me in incredible ways. You’re truly epic and I can’t wait to work with you again.
And of course, to my admin, MJ, for ALWAYS keeping my page running beautifully. I couldn’t do it without you, girly. I love your teasers and your passion; thank you for taking the time out of your life to help this poor girl keep everything running.
And, last but certainly not least, to my loyal readers. To each and every one of you that picks up my books and give me a chance. To the reviews you write, good or bad. To the time you take to make me a better person. You make this real for me; never stop giving such love and passion. You make our journey so amazing.
PROLOGUE
Some people believe there is only one love in life. Others believe you can find multiple people to fall for and be truly happy. Some believe in love at first sight, and others think that’s a load of crap. I’m somewhere in between. I believe we all have three loves.
There’s your first love, which could be a high school sweetheart or a causal relationship that turns into something more. This type of love never usually lasts longer than a year. It’s what I like to call puppy love. It’s what opens our eyes to the possibilities of the future relationships we may have. It’s what gives us something to reach for.
The second love is the person who has the ability to take a good portion of your heart and often, they do, but you quickly realize that the love you feel for them is affection mixed with protection and passion, but it isn’t the love you’ve dreamed about—it isn’t the one. These people have the ability to cause heartbreak; they are special. They’ll remain with you even after they’re gone. Sometimes this love is the only love a person will find—and they’ll be completely okay with it.
The third love is the one we all dream about. It’s the one you witness in movies. It’s the picture of a married couple, two people who have been together for sixty years. It’s the moment you find your soul mate, the person you click with and you know, you just know, that person is for you. It doesn’t matter how many relationships and loves have come before them—they have the ability to erase it all with one simple smile. Some of us are lucky enough to find this love right off the bat.
I’m one of those people.
I found my soul mate the day I was born, when he came in and held my tiny hand. I found him when he had my back through school. I found him when he took me to prom and fought off the other guys. I found him when he held me as I cried. I found him when he took my virginity. I found him after every fight. I found him in every corner of every place in my life, invading me, becoming part of me.
I found Danny and I wanted to keep him.
I really did.
But life got in the way, and that’s the thing about life.
It’s a god damned bitch.
CHAPTER ONE
THEN - SKYE
My feet pad softly down the hall towards the sound of the devastated sobbing. I reach out, curling my fingers around the wall and peering around. Ava is sitting on the sofa, her feet tucked up beneath her, body trembling. I swallow thickly and focus on the people with her. Jackson, my Granddaddy, but her father - and her Mom, Serenity.
They haven’t told me much about how she’s doing since she was taken by an enemy of the club a few months ago, but she’s acting like she’s okay. I know what happened to her, I know she endured something awful, but she has Lucas now and she seems to be coming forward. She seems bubbly and happy most days. So why does she look like she’d rather be in a cold grave than living right now?
“It’s going to be okay,” Granddad says, rubbing her back. “You know we’re here for you, baby. We’re not goin’ to let anything happen to you again.”
“Your daddy is right, honey. It’s going to be okay,” Serenity adds, giving Granddad a worried look.
“It’s not going to be okay,” Ava sobs, clutching her middle. “It’s not. I can’t sleep without nightmares. I barely breathe each day. Some days...some days I’d rather be dead than live like this. If it wasn’t for Lucas, I’d probably have found a way to end it because that seems so much easier than suffering with the pain.”
My heart pounds at her words. Not Ava. She always seems okay. So strong. How did we miss her suffering?
“Don’t say things like that,” Granddad growls. “Never...”
“It’s the truth,” Ava screams. “It’s the damned truth. I wish it had never h
appened. I wish I wasn’t...”
Her voice trails off and she looks away, panting with rage.
“Wish what?” Granddad whispers.
“I wish I was never part of this club. I wish I were just a normal girl. I wish I was never born into this dangerous, cruel world. If it weren’t for this club, I wouldn’t feel like this. I wouldn’t be suffering. It’s dangerous, and deadly, and I am so glad I have stepped away from it. I’d never even dream of raising a child in this life. I’d never let them see the horrors I witnessed. Anyone in their right mind would step away.”
Granddad looks like he’s been slapped. Serenity gasps.
“Ava, fuck...” he croaks. Then he stands and disappears out of the room, shoulders slumped, big body hurting. Poor Granddad. I can’t imagine how hard this has been for him, as President of the club. He still holds the blame for what happened to Ava.
“Honey,” Serenity says, cupping Ava’s face. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” Ava says, her voice sharp. “I wish it with every part of my being. This club is dangerous. It ruined my life. I could have died.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No,” Ava mumbles, staring at the wall blankly. “But most days, I wish I did.”
Her words sink into my soul. The look on her face plants itself in my memory.
But more than that, the reality of the dangers associated with the club become abundantly clear.
I no longer live in a safe world.
And I don’t ever want to be in the position Ava is in right now.
~*~*~*~
NOW
SKYE
“A choice, Skye.”
I stare into the eyes of my childhood friend, my protector, my first love, and the provider of what is now proving to be my first heartbreak. He stands in the dark, a streetlight coming down over his face, shadowing half of it. I rushed out of a Halloween party we were at when I saw a girl flirting with him, and he followed me. He always follows me.
He wants something I can’t give him, and yet the very idea of saying the words that are on the tip of my tongue scare me so fiercely, I don’t know if I have the strength to get them out. How do you tell the person you love that you’re choosing life over them?
In most cases, you simply don’t.
In my case, I have no other options.
We want two different things, and neither of us is willing to give up on what we love. There’s a big problem with that—in digging our heels in, we’re going to lose each other, and the very thought of that breaks my heart into a thousand tiny pieces. I’ve fought for years to avoid this very conversation; I’ve tried to keep my distance, to keep us in the friend zone, to pretend it didn’t matter when he was with other women.
But it mattered.
It still matters.
“Skye.”
I blink and focus on Danny, who is so beautiful I find it hard to breathe in his presence. He’s watching me, his eyes almost begging for my answer to be what he wants to hear. I study his face, knowing I’m about to break his heart but also mine, and I hate that. I hate it.
“I . . .” I say, my voice soft and trembling. “Danny . . .”
“I can’t keep doing this—runnin’ around in circles, avoiding what’s really going on. I can’t handle the jealousy, and the refusal to give this a go, and the secret meetings. I can’t. I won’t. I’m done. You need to make a choice.”
Tears burn under my eyelids as I memorize his face. I want it to be the only thing I see when I wake and the first thing that pops up when I close my eyes. That’s a fantasy I’ll never have. I can’t bear it. He studies me with those incredible yellow eyes of his, the ones he got from his mom. They’re the kind of eyes you only ever see once in your life, if you’re lucky.
They’re the kind of eyes that haunt you.
Danny and I have been friends for as long as I remember. We grew up together; our fathers are best friends and both part of a biker club, so it was virtually impossible for us not to get along. There was a group of us who grew up together, but Danny and I had something more—a connection nobody else could understand.
Things only started to get complicated for us once I turned eighteen and our friendship blossomed into something more, something we both tried to deny. When I was younger, I’d get so incredibly jealous of his girlfriends, and when I started to date the feeling was returned. But typical of us, we danced around the subject.
Always pretending it wasn’t there.
Danny is set to assume the role as president when the club’s current president, and my Granddad, Jackson, steps down. He wants it. He breathes it. He’s perfect for it. From a young age, Danny was all about the club, and everyone in it knew he’d step up to the plate when the time came. For a time, I wanted to stand right along with him.
But reality set in. Things changed.
People started getting hurt, the club started getting messy, and suddenly the place I loved so much became my worst nightmare. I watched people I loved suffer time and time again, and I became terrified. Suddenly, being an old lady was the furthest thing from my mind. I made the choice to venture out, to start a new life, a safe life somewhere that promised I wouldn’t get hurt. Danny refused to let go.
So here we are.
“I don’t know how to make a choice,” I whisper, my voice tight.
He steps closer, and I try to keep my eyes from running down his bare chest. He looks good tonight, his sandy blond hair messy and unruly, a two-day growth on his chin, and his eyes bright. He’s dressed up in a gothic style, wearing black jeans, and studded bands on his ankles and one around his neck. He’s even got dark eyeliner on. He looks so gorgeous—it’s killing me to have this conversation right now.
“You have to, Skye. Can’t keep livin’ like this. Can’t keep pretending we’re not feelin’ what we’re feelin’.”
“We want different things; you know we do.”
“Doesn’t mean it can’t work.”
I meet his eyes and God, it hurts to look into them, to see the pain behind them.
“Danny,” I begin, my voice trembling. “You’re already in the process of stepping into the role of president at the club. I’m getting ready to leave. How do you suppose it can work?”
“You stay here, do school here, you live with me . . .”
I flinch. “I don’t want to stay here; you know that.”
“We can travel in a few years, Skye. Just let me get to where I need to be and then we can travel.”
I laugh bitterly. “When was the last time Granddad took a holiday, Danny?”
He flinches now. “I’ll make it happen.”
“It’s not just a holiday I want,” I cry. “It’s so much more than that. I want a clean slate. A . . . safe life that makes me happy. I don’t want to be an old lady. I can’t be.”
My comment hurts him; I see it in his eyes.
“So that leaves only one outcome.”
God, the way his voice cracks. It fucking hurts.
“Danny,” I whisper.
“Can’t see you anymore, Skye. Not around the club. Not hangin’ out with my sister. Can’t see you. While you’re getting ready to leave, you need to make sure it’s not near me.”
“Danny,” I croak and tears tumble down my cheeks.
“Would have given you my all, but you’re not willin’ to give it back.”
“Jesus,” I cry, frustration and hurt mixing and exploding in my chest. “You’re asking me to give up everything, yet you’re not willing to give up one single thing.”
“Aren’t I?” he says, bitterly. “I’m fairly sure right now I’m about to give up you.”
That hurts. “Danny, don’t. Don’t make me hate you.”
He snorts. “I’ve wasted years of my life on your little games, Skye. You never wanted to take the next step, always kept us in the friend zone. I’m done.”
Now I’m angry. “Game?” I yell. “Was it a game when your dick was inside me three nights ago
as you fucked me against your bike? Well, was that a fucking game? Was I friend zoning you then? Jesus, Danny. I’ve given you every piece of my soul. Every single piece. I’m not the only one who held back, and you know it.”
“I held back out of respect for your dad.”
“Oh, so fucking his daughter for fun would be classed as respectful?”
He clenches his fists. “Don’t, Skye. You know I never fucked you for fun. I would have given you more if you’d opened up and let me in, but you never wanted to. You always kept me on the side, makin’ sure I knew where I stood.”
“Because I was scared!” I scream.
“Of what?” he bellows.
“Of falling in love with you! Of this very moment where I know walking away is going to rip my heart in shreds, and I’ll never get it back. I’ll never repair the damage that’s been done.”
He leans down close. “Yeah, well, you should have thought of that.”
“Please, Danny,” I whisper.
“I’m done. We’re done. Good luck on your new adventure. Stay away from me while you’re out so desperately searching for what’s right under your fuckin’ nose.” He turns and disappears into the darkness.
“Danny! No!” I scream, tears rolling down my cheeks.
I was wrong.
That hurt so much more than I could have ever imagined.
~*~*~*~
“You haven’t spoken to him yet, have you?” Mercedes asks, helping me unpack the last of my boxes.
I shake my head and pick up some shoes off my bed, walking them over to the closet and stuffing them in. “He doesn’t take my calls, doesn’t answer my texts, and refuses to acknowledge me at all.”
She brings some shoes and helps me put them in. “Why didn’t you tell anyone how long things had been going on?”
I shrug. “Because if I told someone, it would have become real, and all along I thought if I could avoid it being real, it would never get serious enough to hurt when I left.”
“That was never going to happen.”
I look to her. “I know that now, but it doesn’t change how I feel, Merc. I can’t be an old lady; once I thought I could and I think that’s why I held on, but the last few years have changed me and I don’t want that life anymore. Maybe I was selfish. I couldn’t handle how it would feel to lose him if I let myself admit how deep my feelings ran.”