Mist
Collection of short poems
Ayesha khan
Copyright
Mist
Ayesha Khan
Copyright Ayesha Khan 2014
Dedication
I dedicate my book to my son abaan .
Chapters
Ambition
Black
The Cat
Yellow Flowers
Void
I Still Care
Come Back
Who am I
I am
Light
My Son My World
Love
Simply Love
True Love
Someday
Violence
Beauty is ...
Satisfaction
Imperfection
The Rain Patter
Winning Moment
Waves
My Father's Death
Deep Down
My Pet
My Ambition
I Love Today
I Miss You
Beauty
Fusion
Together Again
Real
Fear
Trees
I Love Animals
Bird Song
Ambition
Today is a day which is different.
Yet I feel like sulking
Something within tries to turn inside out..
Deep inside me I feel this nameless urge to explode,
To become free from these fetters of bondage.
I try to console but it is hard to control..
I try keep calm but it is not ready to listen.
The feeling is inexplicably wild and it rages up and
down inside and out.
The feeling is bitter the silence the void the vacuum the unexpressed desire is engulfing every bit of my being.
Dark seems the light
Dark are the days.
Dark as if it has been always.
Together I place the pieces of my torn dreams ..
Together I place the feathers of my broken wings and thus slowly and
silently the raging feeling sinks.
Black
The stone ; hill and fish the water rocks and net, the air
the silence and the
boat...
The rustling leaves the palms and the brows are dull dark
and black.
Heavy is the air cold are the feet, something deep down
in your eyes
Is lost and dark and sad.
Down the road of memory something nostalgic
surrounds me...
Blackness of the night speaks
Talking and rushing are the waves of sea, down under
your temple,
I sense a line of pain and nostalgia surrounds my whole
being.
Let me listen ; let me see; let me feel this agony,
Let me touch the shadows of the time gone by
Let me hold the rushing waves and call them back...
But all I see around and far away is the shimmering and
seething sea which
is BLACK.
The Cat
The impregnable beauty the calmness the sullen silence
around.
It is hard to believe it is a living being .
The majestic yet reckless gait ; the watchful eyes, the
beauty that
reverberates.
The overwhelming power to understand a friend from a
foe.
The swiftness the concentration the eye to detail ...
The green and sparkling eyes the cushioned paws , the
brutal yet serene
look .
Is simply beautiful.
The light and dark stripes and the pruned fur and the
unspoken boldness
makes it a perfect picture to behold.
Yet the creature succumbs too .
To love and care ...
And the other side of the coin shows up.
Yellow flowers
I look back
Feel refreshed
Small puffy balls
Light as air .
Coloured petals
Beautiful shapes
Scattered aroma
The ' perfect sketch ' .
Singed leaves
Loaded tree
Dancing branches
Of green leaves .
My tall stiff
Arrogant tree .
The yellow flowers
In the flowing breeze.
Some flowers
Joyously dancing
High upon tree top
Some lying dead
Adorning brown mud
Bathing it in yellow hue
Some fresh and alive...
Some half dead
Some flowering from wet buds .
Some waving across
The spotless clear sky...
Some upright
Some drooping
Down in silent slumber
Oh..... ' my yellow flowers'.
Void
The days seem dark the flowers seem ugly ,
The sound seems sharp , the eyes are dry.
The agony the desperate struggle continues,
The hours seem long the mind seems complaining ...
nothing is calm nor
complacent.
TheThe time seems to stop , the pulse is feeble.
How could the smoke be so thick....
To blur the light of joy.
How could you be so far away my friend that catching the
twinkle of your
eyes has become past .
Lost are the directions
Lost is the sanity..
Lost are the small impressions of the times spent
together.
Yet what does remain is the tree of longing.
I Still Care
I still care
I still remember the day I first saw you...
Its been a long time since we last met...
You left without reason, you left without knowing how
much I cared
Days passed years went but the pain the despair the desire stays.
I cried I prayed all in vain I groped in the dark and
screamed out your name.
You were cold and mute as ever
Far and beyond my reach like the twinkling stars in the
sinking night
And the ship sailing far off from its harbour in the subtle
hue of the twilight...
I still dream I still care
I still see feel you everywhere
Come back once come back for a day
Come back for me I still care...
Come Back
The days seem dark the nights are empty
You seem oblivious to my presence
Its been long since we shared our joys our feelings or got lost in our thoughts so pure and divine.
You are here near me ....can't you see
I may look good but am burning inside
What happened to us that my world seems turned upside.
Bring back the charm bring back the smiles come back and just never leave my side
You are here but something's amiss
Bring back the times
Come back.
Who Am I
Just a tiny speck on this huge canvas or ,
Something more...
Just a flower that would whither soon...
A song unsung
Or a mountain peak bathed in sun.
Am I soul am I a question or am I the lost hope...
And s
omething more .
I am the void , I am the pain
I am the sky which will stay ...
I am the distance apart...
I am the mist of your moist eyes .
I am your part
Am I ?
I Am
Am I on a journey ,unknown; all alone
Am I born anew and the consciousness
within is older than the fossils
Am I timid weak vulnerable or here to search feel try and accomplish what no one got close to before...
I AM just a small wheel of the huge machine working incessantly miraculously...
I AM close to or far apart from you
the nothingness
like the air you breathe...
Nowhere to be found
I AM the agony
the quenching subtle rain
And maybe the questions that remain.
Light
I feel it
I can see it , it does heal .
Beyond our galaxy and stars...
There does exist its shine .
Deep below our hard crust ,
It has sheen and warmth ,
It has spark it is fire ... it glitters like gold
And indeed all of it is within our
Soul.
My Son My World
As I glance back I feel elated ,
By the thought of holding you ,
Little thing which instantly transformed my world...
Your toothless smile is the impetus for me and most beautiful sight to behold .
I love you and have started loving life more.
My life tends to revolve around my little Angel...
Your beautiful eyes show the presence of God himself ...
I cannot control the rush of love and emotions I have for you...
Love
Is beautiful
Is like a quiet rain .
Like a winged flight of ecstasy,
It soothes it pricks .
Is an unending ache
It is hard to find...
Harder to restrain.
It trickles down our souls and soaks our mind .
It is easy to judge from outside and simply hell inside.
Love is astoundingly insane.
It is a unfathomable abyss...
A bitter confusion ,
An utter mingled up jumbled up maze.
Its beyond reason ,
Frees us from fetters of narrow thinking .
It is a mirage of beautiful souls...
A rainbow that doesn't fade .
Simply Love
Smell of an earthen pot,
Heat of the sun when its hot...
The sweet pain of my fresh wound ,
Sometimes the ticking clock.
Ah the godly feeling within
It's simply love.
Sometimes the broken dreams
And the distances in between ,
The binding force
The subtle hues
The twilight and the floating moon.
True Love
True love is the shining sun
It is the moon itself
Is beautiful forever
Higher than the clouds that float
True love is a sea of emotions.
An artist's masterpiece
It is indestructible,
Is concrete .
It is in giving
It is the agony the despair
Gives the zeal to live life
Is a coveted gift.
Sometimes unrequited unconditional ...
Is always divine.
Someday
Someday I will look up again in the sky and wonder
And again I will smile
And would miss sorely again , you being around.
Someday will cry wrapped in your arms without you being around.
Our eyes would meet and we would stay together.
Someday again I will breathe fresh freedom
And envy and be insecure and possessive.
Someday our passion will burn
....devoured we will be in it forever.
Someday.
Violence
Brother threatening life of ones own brother..
Brutal and sense less and blood thirsty is the new generation
Just as were their forefathers.
There is nothing new it has been always there.
Yet it seems illogical grotesque and should have been wiped out by now.
As history says there has been no gain in this ugly mindless game.
It is self defeating in all its forms.
Atomic bombs , nuclear weapons, biological warfare are some of its many faces.
And thousands of its fellows are resurrected each day.
It is truly the weapon of the weak..
It is hard to curb yet possible to defeat.
And this is the one thing which incorporates all that is evil.....
VIOLENCE.
Beauty Is...
in a mothers smile when she bids goodbye to her soldier.
in the pining of a real lover.
in the longing eyes of a tiger cub waiting endlessly for his wounded mother.
in the pain and anguish of a fettered bird in a cage
beauty is in the timid courage of little girl who tries to fight back all odds...
beauty is in the smallest and simplest struggle of our lives .
beauty is in forgiving in letting go in loving unconditionally
beauty is in admiration of the trifles of our otherwise mechanical life... and also in our imperfections.
Satisfaction
A full meal
An unexpected gift
My sweethearts smile...
Complete rest
A soothing and intoxicating encounter
A pat of appreciation
Having fun with pals
An enriching spiritual experience
A good read
And feeling to be one with nature
Playing and toying
Submerged in thoughts
Or just being dreamy .
Sweating and struggling
Or just flying higher
Smiling and crying
And striving harder
Sometimes........
Gives satisfaction.
Standing alone
And being in a crowd
Sometimes........
Imperfection
Forgetful and careless
Sometimes lethargic and imperfect...
Timid and submissive.
Sweet and sour life goes on...
Light verses dark and mingled
Some scribbled notes and some lame excuses...
Hey that's me the real me.
The Rain Patter
Right here
Right now
I hear your voice
Deep within
Reverberates again
The despair the agony
I swim in a sea of thoughts
Endless and mundane
Reckless and beyond all logic
Am submerging in an unknown abyss of pain
It is a circle you keep coming back and forth .....
Like the rain
And the darkness envelopes me
Only to drown and rise again
You and I are like the rain .......
Resurrecting always.
Winning Moment
A true moment of ecstasy; a moment of glory .
The spirit is lifted high the heart seems to fly .
The routine unexpectedly becomes vibrant the dullness is replaced by color.
The whole being seems light and is ready to take flight .
The pleasure swells and I am enveloped in a rare kind of joy.
It races in and out as if it defies to calm down...
Waves
Purple waters.... blue hue hills
; Mud laden brown wind
Yellow sand..... silver leaves
Some bright green grass,
And black rocks.
The wind blows and the leaves shiver
Waves make the stones shimmer.
Snails snuggle and shells wriggle
Footprints are washed away by raging waves.
The sand glistens and waves move to and fro.
The tide rises like a wall the mind races all along.
The sea roars and the mirror of calmness is shattered.
The picture of the sun drowning into the wild water is bleak just as picturesque and serene.
The cranes pierce the reposeful red sky
Or the endless abyss of space.
The spaces are great the distances mighty big
The abyss never ending ; the height unattainable and thus the sight is resplendent.
My Father's Death
Numb .... torn
Like betrayed by my god
Pain and tears,
My world fallen apart.
My hero my friend
My guardian my strength
My smile my joy
All bundled n entwined
Courage and hope
All shattered in a blow.
Suddenly my castles of sand washed out.
As if nothing was ever there.
Sad lonely waiting tirelessly for my father ...
Soul and body all drained out
Love could now never bring him back
Searching for ... why me punished for life.
Deep Down
Deep down and far around...
Across the spaces and beyond the sky,
Sink the commotion ; drown the noise
Fill the void with placid feeling,
Racing and throbbing the pain grows
Wild and swift are the woes...
Deep down and far around...
The mist of sadness envelopes the mind
The soul is possessed the heart heavy.
And something is pressing it is hard to breathe.
Let me exhale it is hard to bear...
The wind is wild the shackles of reason chain the thoughts,
The sense of captivity blurs the sight...
The noise seems deafening.
The danger seems impending.
Suddenly the snake of desire raises its hood up ,
As if the whole frustration has stood up.
The heart pounds harder
The mind waits endlessly for divine intervention.
My Pet
Deep golden; peaceful eyes ,
Rich white fur ,
An incessantly wagging tail
A true bundle of joy.
He was the fulcrum of our family's happiness.
A rejuvenating tonic
He was an inseparable part of our lives..... and still is