My Truth
By
Dawn Williams
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced
in any form or by any means,
including scanning, photocopying, or otherwise
without the prior written consent
of the copyright owner.
© 2016 Dawn Williams
Table of Contents:
Advice to My Younger self
Break Free
Careful What You Wish For
Chains
Countless Ways
Enemy Lines
Living With The Enemy
Exhausted!!!
First Cut - FGM (Female Genital Mutilation)
Hang On In There
Imperfections
Just Saying…
Keep Moving
Know Your Frienemies
Lessons Learned
Lifetime Achievement Award
Mind Matters
Not This Time
Power In The Tongue
Reluctant Goodbye
Serial Lyricist
Shuddah - Cuddah - Wuddahs
When You Look at Me…
Where I Come From
Will I know love
I never said I was a lady
Helping Hand
Not In My Day
Whom Shall I Fear
Advice to My Younger self
On this planet called Earth
you need to grow with self-worth
it can be added to you
it can be taken away
you will make mistakes
have the strength to be great
don't live with hate
but appreciate
the many wonders
the many splendours of life
it can seem full of strife
so what do you do
when you have no clue
of what direction to turn
and lessons to learn
when you stumble
be humble
accept a hand
no man is
an island
you will always have a choice to make
be mindful though of what's at stake
work hard - play harder life can be short
have integrity…
keep truth in your heart - from the start
keep your friends close
keep your frenemies closer
rise above negativity
tell yourself everyday
“I’m believing in me”
have sympathy
use empathy
with all of mankind
until you’ve walked a day in their shoes
you are walking blind
you won’t agree with everyone
choices you won’t understand
sometimes you’ll want
to shout and scream
try to live in harmony
we live in a diverse land
at least once a day
have a belly laugh
it can’t be all doom and gloom
have a dream that will make you smile
keep believing it will happen soon
Break Free
Who still holds you bondage
who keeps you in a cage
who denies you your civil rights
who will you blame in old age
Who denies you an education
who told you you’d never achieve
who told you you’d never make it
who told you what to believe
Who told you you’re a slave
who told you to ‘play it safe’
who told you to listen and behave
who told you to know your place
Let me tell you something...
we’re in the 21st century
many have fought and died for you
In passing gave you liberty
Martin Luther king took a bullet for you
Rosa Parks did not rise from her seat
Nelson Mandela caged for twenty seven years
so fight on no surrender no retreat
Thousands upon thousands of slaves killed
but their spirits they could not obliterate
don’t ever give up - believe that you can
know that one day you will celebrate
Careful What You Wish For
Another relationship bites the dust
there’s plenty more fish in the sea
arghh how I hate that saying
who wants a fish for company
so I join this dating site
it’s called… ‘Plenty of Fish’
I set up my personal profile
hoping I’ll get my wish…
looking to meet…
a tall dark handsome man
I want to be swept off my feet
would love to feel special be wined and dined
speaking of food… he must have his own teeth
well I get talking to this lovely guy
works for the NHS and loves his mother
a smile so warm it could melt ice
oh… and sexy he’s got to be my lover
we continue to chat for a while longer
then agree to meet up for a date
on the day I’m feeling so nervous
I’m organised and cannot be late
I’m nearing the designated coffee shop
my belly is doing somersaults
I’m trying to recapture his photo
and remember I found no fault
OMG… that must be him
a dark figure in the distance I see
without my glasses I’m squinting like mad
wondering what he’ll make of me
all of a sudden I feel a pat on my back
my heart is full with glee
I spin around to see a dark smurf
looking up… yes looking up at me
“I’ll treat you to coffee and a sticky bun”
my heart is filled with dread
I wonder how he’ll chew that bun
with only three teeth in his head
Chains
He laughs... he laughs
as I wipe the dripping sauce from my face
once again the joke’s on me
he says that I’d laugh too
if I could just see the state of me
I’m tired of playing the clown
wish I could turn this frown upside down
long-term sentence with no parole
one day I must break free
he orders... he orders
me to go to the local shop
it will be a whistle at the ready
except when I exceed my personal best
they’ll be no banner waiting for me
list - check
money – check
no make-up – check
long sleeved top – check
xl slacks – check
ready… set… go…
I’m outside - still no escape
one day I must break free
love... love
joy and laughter
no drama no worries for me
promised spontaneous trips away
to bright skies and the glistening sun
menus with every kind of chocolate delight
and the sweet reggae music
so tantalising I would hold
no fear
no shame
no choice
but to shake what the good Lord gave me!
I never dreamed I’d be wearing shades on a winter’s day
bound by the chains of so much deceit
one day I must break free
/>
a friend...a friend
how I wish I had cherished her then
I had too much pride and now
I have fallen
so deep
God please send me an angel
to help me back on my feet
I will craft a hammer of hope
smash these chains to smithereens
I am already strengthened because
today I will break free
Countless Ways
How do I count the ways I love you
There’s something new to love each day
To have met a man as wonderful as you
It must be because I prayed
I have waited for what seems like forever
To meet someone so real and true
You share my heart my mind my soul
The gift of love is what I have in you
Your character so becoming
I am so very proud of you
You possess a selfless nature
Asking what more you can do
You are so loving and attentive
A broad shoulder to lean on too
A hug so strong it carries me
Through times when I feel blue
The people who mean so much to me
Are important to you too
You are respectful and courteous
Your goodness just shines through
You are so wise and thoughtful
You look for the good in all
I know that you will raise me up
If ever I should fall
How do I to count the ways I love you
There’s something new to love each day
To have met a man as wonderful as you
It must be because I prayed
Enemy Lines
I didn't choose this way
it chose me
I’m in a constant war
I didn't sign up to fight
and I’m tired
I’m no match against these battles
this dark evil smog
when nothing better to do
drags at my Achilles heel
tussling me to the ground
enveloping me with its
amazing hooded overcoat
made of lead
Im fighting for breath
while it just sneers at me
I’m on hostile ground
I was already weak
now I’m too weak to fight
I’m blinded and can’t
see a way out
some might say keep your…
head up
stand up
climb up
hold on
I want to
I should do
but it's too hard
each time I try
the darkness sucks
me back under
I’m scared to reach out
and grab on for dear life
life...I want a life
I just don’t want this life
I’m filled with trepidation
but what I fear most
is whilst in my darkness
I will never again
see the light
Living With The Enemy
I don’t know who you think you are
oh I heard you Miss Thing
talkin’ about how you were Soo
lookin’ forward to the Dance on the 24th
but you can’t hide from me
yes I saw you
gettin’ all designer- dressed up
applyin’ with care your make up
arrivin’ at the night club
and then… you had the nerve to dance
and...step..and step...
laughin’ as you and your girlfriends
kept the pace
I couldn’t wait to slap that smile
right off your face...
Miss Thing did I not warn you
don’t have too much fun
why do you make me so angry
you messed with the wrong one
now I have to put you back in line
I’ll enjoy seeing you
being laid up for maybe... 3 weeks this time
your body fatigued feeling like lead
you slumbering for hours
when awake - still stay in bed
and here comes the depression...
well... we all get depressed Miss Thing
Let this be a warning
don’t ever fight me
If you try to walk out
I will humiliate you
I will turn your legs to jelly
you know I can... I’ve done it before
I have an abundance of dirty tricks up my sleeve
there’s no getting rid of me
I will come and go as I like
I will stay as long as I like
I will be as tough on you as I like
Aww...and you looked so pretty that night
but you do know that no one will ever want you right…
Not now you’re “Damaged Goods”
Exhausted!!!
I wanna be
Some place
Where no one
Can hurt me
I live in a world
Full of people
Diverse people
Beautiful people
Family people
And yet
It sometimes
Feels as if
They’re killing
Me…
Slowly
Sometimes
I wish
I could
Run away
Keep Running
Far away
And become
Inconspicuous… then…
For a
Time I
Ponder on
Why I
Bother to
To try
I cry
Because it
Hurts like
Hell to…
Care…
And Feel…
And Love...
I swear
To you
I have
Tried and
I
Have
Tried
And
I
Am
All
Tried
Out
First Cut - FGM (Female Genital Mutilation)
So… who would like to speak?
Remember there is no judgement here
I guess… I’ll go
I remember it was a busy day
aunties and other ladies
coming through the door
the whisperings and strange looks -
at me
I remember it well – funny that
I was only four
then my mother called me
to lie on this make shift bed
then all at once these women pounced on me
held me down whilst I screamed
and screamed till I was off my head
I’m sorry…
Its ok you’ve been so brave… Anyone else?
Yeah….I’ll speak
Same thing happened to me
my mother- so called
said she did it for me…
huh... she got this woman who used
a razorblade scissors and a piece glass
to discard the genitalia
she felt I did not want-
or didn’t need
so with no anaesthetic
my body just
went into shock
for days all I did
was bleed… but hey
never mind the bruises
never mind the pain
from being pinned down
I was now worthy of a man
who wore the biggest crown
this was done for my honour
this was to be celebrated
but… it wasn’t good
my bo
dy had been mutilated
I was supposed to be pure
and ready for marriage
shouldn’t I have looked
beautiful ‘down there’
and not like a tiger
had left me savaged
I was a freak of nature - disturbed
left feeling so perturbed
what… I
will never understand
is how my mother could do this to her child
and all...for the sake of pleasing a man
I thank you for heartfelt contributions…this is your start to healing…
Hang On In There
YOU said… ‘Ask and it will be done
Have faith
Lean on me
I am here and will never forsake you
I am here whatever your needs’
Well I have
‘asked’ begged and cried out to you
I have pleaded with you too
why then have you allowed me
to continue in my distress
I’m sorry to sound so abrupt
believe me I’m trying my best
I get so sick and tired
of being sick and tired
maybe if I could understand
Is this part of your plan
Is all this to make me
a woman of substance
to harden my resolve
will I become stronger wiser better
Is all this for my good
I don’t know if I can hang on
to this piece of thread much longer -
the way a believer would
I know I could pay you more attention
at times I feel I’m slipping away
could I ask that you grab hold of me
and please remember my name
I’m trying hard to keep the faith
don’t let that be my shame
I know things can’t always go my way
and there is always someone worse
I have been blessed in so many ways
but right now I feel I’m cursed
I’m not happy with you right now
for so long I’ve been