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Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Things Got All Messed Up
Chapter 2: A Big Mistake
Chapter 3: 9 Months, 27 Days Earlier
Chapter 4: Little Sister
Chapter 5: Act II
Chapter 6: In School Suspension
Chapter 7: Fatherly Advice
Chapter 8: Grounded
Chapter 9: Paying Debts
Chapter 10: Waiting For A Call
Chapter 11: The Date
Chapter 12: Summer Break
Chapter 13: In the Dark
Chapter 14: Making Up
Chapter 15: Sophomore Year
Chapter 16: Anniversaries
Chapter 17: A Study
Chapter 18: Seconds
Chapter 19: Secrets
Chapter 20: Hanging Out
Chapter 21: Another Day
Chapter 22: Full Circle
Chapter 23: Cycles
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1: Things Got All Messed Up
The lawns on his street looked clean, no toys or tools spread out on the yard. Tulips pushed up in his neighbor’s small gardens skirting the fronts of the small ranch houses. From the outside, anyone passing by might think these people lived the clean, simple lives associated with small town Iowa.
These yards didn’t look like Katelyn’s, and, more than ever, her life felt the farthest from clean and simple. She stood at the corner on Tim’s street and looked at his house. No clean and simple life lived behind his doors, either.
Before she took another step, Katelyn pulled out her phone and reread Tim’s message from this morning: “I want to see u. Things got all messed up. Let me explain. T.”
The text broke five days of silence since his last one. It was the first to sound sober and kind. Katelyn didn’t want to think about the other ones right now. Katelyn wanted to know the truth about what happened last week. She wanted to hear Tim apologize. She wanted to forgive him, again. But, mostly, Katelyn wanted her boyfriend back.
She stuffed the phone back in her jacket pocket and shivered. The sun came through new buds on the trees, but spring was still fighting the winter chill. Katelyn looked at the empty houses and wondered if people were away for their spring break. Envy crept in. Vacations weren’t part of her life.
For the fourth time in the two-mile walk to his house, Katelyn questioned if she should come. Her mom was going to be livid if she found out. Katelyn’s would likely now be grounded until the end of school rather than the month she already had in store.
Katelyn stopped at the corner. She could turn back before her mom found out. But questions would remain. She wouldn’t have the apology she deserved. And, Katelyn wouldn’t have her boyfriend back.
Tim didn’t deserve to see any of her hopes. For what he did, they were over. They should be over, unless.
Katelyn had texted Tim to say she’d come get her stuff. Her cheap MP3 player and a few shirts she’d left in his room weren’t that important, but they gave Katelyn a reason to come over, not just because he asked to see her.
She was still mad. Tim couldn’t expect that she would so easily be over what he did only a few days ago. Katelyn wasn’t about to forget the threats from Mona, the girl who called from Tim’s phone claiming to be his new girlfriend. She was just the start of Tim’s betrayal. He had a lot of explaining to do.
Katelyn went over her plan again. She would not go into his house. Tim would want her to go down to his room, but she didn’t want to be reminded of all the hours they spent there together. No, she would stay outside and ask for her things, outside--where she was safe. If he didn’t say what she needed to hear, she’d turn around and get on with life, even if it would be without him.
Katelyn’s eyebrows pinched together and her head started to ache. She reached up and pushed her long bangs back into her hair. She took a fresh breath of air and shook her head as if it would make memories fall away.
Katelyn turned her head and forced her feet to take the last steps to his house. Next week would be their 10-month anniversary. Katelyn had a “Top ten things I love about you” poem drafted. She was not ready to let him go. Please, she thought, please let this all be a big mistake.