L.E.L.
LIVE-EXPERIENCE-LEARN
YEAR 17
Murray Kibblewhite
Copyright 2013 by Murray Kibblewhite
“Our lives are marked with a series of events, encounters, and turning points that in one way or another stamp our outlook on life and move us in this direction or that. Ultimately, our responses to these events shape us into who we are today. If we can view these circumstances of our lives as aspects of our very own story, our unique pathway through life, then we can make the journey more conscious, and we can open to it.” Cheryl Peppers & Alan Briskin – Bringing Your Soul to Work. An Everyday Practice – BK 2000
“Jing I am surprised at your attitude,” the Math teacher said sternly. “You have fallen behind because you have not been listening.”
Jing did not say anything and kept looking down at the floor. In her mind she was asking why he had not helped her, but she kept silent.
“And asking a question in class is forbidden. This is a top school in Beijing and I am surprised at you being so rude to me!” There was long pause, but Jing held her tongue knowing she must not speak. “So your punishment of standing in the hall outside the class will show you that you must obey the rules at all times and you must never question a teacher such that they could lose face.”
The teacher shouted, “Remember, do as you are told. Do not answer back and do what the others do. Understand?” Jing nodded, still staring at the floor. “Good. Now go!” The teacher dismissed her with a wave of his hand.
“Careful now! You are only nine so use both hands!” Jing nodded her head obediently to her Grandmother as she struggled holding the heavy pail. This was the first time she had been asked to help carry the toilet bucket to empty it in the village cesspit for the night cart to take away. She screwed up her face when the smell wafted under her nose.
First they had lifted the bucket from its position from under the earth closet seat in the latrine shed outside. Then they placed a wooden cover on the top of the bucket to stop it from spilling. Grandmother had to bend over to make her self lower so they could share the weight of the bucket evenly between them as they walked to the cesspit building. Halfway they stopped and changed sides. Jing was happy as her arm ached with the weight she had been holding up.
“Com’on,” Grandmother instructed and they started the rest of the trip.
There were others waiting their turn to empty their buckets so Jing was grateful for the rest. At the building Grandmother showed her where to stand, how to hold the handle with two hands and together they started to lift the bucket. The tipping went well, but not all had emptied and Jing because of aching arms, one hand slipped and she pulled the bucket back too quickly so some feces spilled on her pants.
“Ugh!” Jing screamed, jumping back, shaking her herself and letting go of the handle. Some of the other people laughed at her mishap.
“Foolish girl!” Grandmother commented and started to clean up the mess on the floor . When she had finished, she wiped Jing’s pants saying, “We will wash this before we get home.” Grandmother carried the empty bucket in one hand and pulled Jing with her other, who was now crying in shame.“Let that be a lesson for you. Remember to prepare carefully before you start anything new.”
“What happened? Why are you crying?” Jing turned away not answering, unsure if she should tell her friend. “Tell me?” Yiyi questioned gently. “Why are you crying?”
“He made me stand outside,” Jing whispered. “Outside in the corridor!”
“Why?” Yiyi demanded. “What did you do?”
“I… I asked him a question, ” Jing whimpered, too distraught to give more details.
“What! You asked him a question! You stupid person. You know you must not question a teacher,” Yiyi exploded. “And he is the worst,” she added.
“I couldn’t help it. I needed to know the new formula,” Jing sobbed. “And I had to stay out of the classroom for over two hours.”
“You lucky, lucky girl!” Yiyi retorted. “I heard he punched a boy student so hard blood came from his mouth!”
Jing sniffed back her sobs, taking in the new information, but did not say anything.
“You must learn to obey the rules and do what you are told,” Yiyi exclaimed. “You are so silly!”
“Come on girl,” Grandmother demanded, handing her the coal bucket. “Fill it up and bring it back so we can get the fire going.”
Reaching down Jing took hold of the heavy bucket, obeying reluctantly, knowing the difficulty of lifting the coal back up two flights of stairs. As she trudged down the stairway, she wondered why her Grandmother still used the single burner stove in the hallway, which was shared with another apartment. She loved her Grandmother, but staying in the small rural village after coming from Shanghai was a traumatic change.
Jing was the only person in the shed, and she began loading coal lumps. “Not too big and not too small,” as Grandmother had told her as she showed her. Passing the single water faucet for all apartments in the block, she began the short, but demanding journey back up the stairs.
Why does she live here? Jing thought to herself as she strained to lift the bucket to the next step. Why does she only have one large porcelain bowl she uses for washing the dishes, their clothes and themselves? Jing mused and then shuddered at the thought of standing naked in the hallway in the winter waiting for the warm soapy water from the bowl after Grandmother washed her body.
“Thank you, Jing,” Grandmother smiled as she took the bucket and began to place the coal pieces in the stove ready to light. “Tonight you will see your Aunty. She will stay the night with us.”
“Oh!” exclaimed Jing without thinking.
“Why do you say that, child? I thought you would be happy to see your Aunty?”
“She snores and kicks me in bed,” Jing burst out, unable to contain herself.
“Ahh,” Grandmother exclaimed as she smiled to herself, considering the implications of Jing’s outburst. “Remember, child, that in helping others you must learn to share.”
“How did it go with the teacher’s interview?” Yiyi inquired.
“He was pleased I had followed his instructions and done what the other students were doing,” Jing replied quietly. “It is easier to do what the others do.”
“Let that be a lesson for you, Jing,” her friend said, “You must do what the teacher says. Then you have no worries.”
“I don’t ever want to upset that teacher again,” Jing exclaimed. “He got so angry. I was scared. He can be so violent.”
“‘Now you have it. You do make it difficult for yourself to learn,” Yiyi said in her best motherly voice.
Every decision that you make either moves you toward your personality (ego) or towards your Soul. Each decision that you make is an answer to the question, “How do you choose to learn love? How do you choose to learn authentic empowerment? Through doubt and fear or through wisdom? “The Seat of the Soul,” p. 102 - Gary Zukav
Disclaimer
The story is based on real life events that have been told to the author. The names of the characters have been changed to protect their privacy. Any opinions are the author’s unless where quoted and the reference is given.
Acknowledgements
Grateful thanks for their help and assistance: -
Cover – Rosanne Kibblewhite; Graphics – Edder Leyva; Editing – Joan Adamak and Lyndsey Craig; E-Publishing & Blog – Jan Butterworth; Social Media – Blair Kibblewhite; You Tube – Florence Korokoro; Administration – Ying Yu Wang; Consultant – Linda Coles
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