Promise
Me
Light
~~~~
Paige Weaver
Promise Me Light
Copyright © 2013 by Paige Weaver
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes. If you are reading this book and you have not purchased it or won it in an author/publisher contest, this book has been pirated. Please delete and support the author by purchasing the eBook from one of its many distributors.
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.
Published by Paige Weaver LLC, P.O. Box 80016, Keller, Texas 76244
ISBN 978–0–9892698–4–1 (eBook)
ISBN 978–0–9892698–6–5 (Print)
Cover design © Sarah Hansen
okaycreations.com
Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty–One
Chapter Twenty–Two
Chapter Twenty–Three
Chapter Twenty–Four
Chapter Twenty–Five
Chapter Twenty–Six
Chapter Twenty–Seven
Chapter Twenty–Eight
Chapter Twenty–Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty–One
Chapter Thirty–Two
Chapter Thirty–Three
Chapter Thirty–Four
Chapter Thirty–Five
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About The Author
Prologue
Always.
Somebody once said that when darkness fell, we would be shown the light. I wasn’t sure that was true. Darkness had descended on my world and all I saw was despair.
The United States was fighting a war on its own soil. Society was crumbling. Millions were starving. Thousands were dying.
For me the days were dark. I was no longer a carefree college student. I was now a survivor. A fighter. A woman lost in grief.
~~~~
In my dreams, it haunted me. In the light of day, it stalked me. In the blackness of the night, it tortured me. It captured my life and refused to let go.
It was grief and I was now its prisoner.
It started the day that Ryder rode away. As I watched him leave, intent on rescuing my best friend Eva, I felt darkness surround me. I knew it would stay with me until I saw him again.
For two weeks I waited. I paced. I prayed and begged for Ryder to return home. I was like the epic heroine from an old time novel, yearning for her one true love to return to her.
But life wasn’t a book and I wasn’t a heroine. I refused to sit and wait. I was going after him.
I stuffed bread and bottles of water in my backpack. Next went the box of shotgun shells and bullets for the 9mm stuffed in my waistband.
I zipped up the backpack and swung it on my shoulders. As I was picking up the shotgun, a noise echoed through the house. A dull thump in the stillness of the day.
I stopped and listened. Nothing. Only silence greeted me.
Looking around the bedroom one last time, I closed the door quietly behind me. Hurry before you change your mind, my inner voice whispered.
I darted down the hallway, my worn tennis shoes making very little noise on the hardwood floor. I could hear oxygen rushing in and out of my lungs and the blood pounding in my ears.
I hadn’t gotten very far when morning sickness made me stop in my tracks. Not now! Please not now!
Placing a hand on my flat stomach, I took deep, calming breaths, trying to push through the nausea. When it passed, I reached into my backpack and pulled out the bottle of water. I took a small sip, hoping it would help settle my stomach. It didn’t. A sheen of sweat appeared on my forehead as the urge to vomit grew. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. Keep it together, Maddie. You can do this.
When the nausea finally passed, I walked quicker down the hallway. As I passed the living room, my eyes darted around nervously, expecting to see someone. Only curtains blowing gently in the breeze made any type of movement. I’m still alone. I can get out of here without any problems. Holding my breath, I opened the front door, cringing when it protested loudly.
Bright sunlight blinded me but I didn’t have time for my eyes to adjust. I flew down the porch steps and out into the yard. Dry grass crunched beneath my feet as I raced toward the woods.
I have to go.
I have to find him.
I couldn’t ignore the terrible feeling that coursed through me day and night. Something’s wrong.
Cicadas sang in the distance - a noise that was as familiar to me as my own voice. Somewhere a cow bellowed, sounding lost and hungry. This was home. Here I was safe, but it meant nothing if Ryder wasn’t with me.
I kept my eyes focused straight ahead, glancing neither left nor right. The woods were a hundred feet in front of me, teasing me to hurry. I quickened my pace and pulled the backpack higher on my shoulder. I’m so close. Just a few more feet…
“Where are you going?”
I stopped. The voice behind me was high-pitched and full of authority, sounding like the mother I never had. Stiffening my spine I turned around, ready with an excuse. But it died on my lips.
Janice stood with her hands on her hips, frowning at me under the sunlight. A small breeze picked up a few strands of her dark hair and swirled them around her face, catching them on her eyelashes.
“I’m going after them,” I answered her firmly. Telling the truth will set you free. I almost had to laugh when that thought popped in my head. The truth would not give me my freedom.
Janice drew her eyebrows together with determination. I could see the blue specks in her eyes and the wrinkles around her downturned lips. There were more lines on her face now than there had been before, all thanks to our new way of living. But I don’t know if you would call it living. More like existing to me.
“Are you crazy, Maddie?” she asked. “You can’t go after them.”
I didn’t answer. Maybe I was a little crazy. Taking off on my own during a time of war and upheaval was not the smartest thing to do. I was almost two months pregnant, loaded with guns and ammo. Enemy soldiers roamed the countryside, rounding up Americans like cattle. But for Ryder, I would put myself in danger. I would do it all. For him and our unborn child.
I knew that arguing with Janice was pointless so I walked away. I heard her following but I didn’t stop. She was not my mother nor was she my protector. She couldn’t stop me from leaving. She could only slow me down.
“You can’t leave! It’s too dangerous!” Janice said fervently.
I ignored her and continued walking. I just have to get to my horse then I’m outta here. I had left the quarter horse tied up in t
he woods, hidden. In fifty feet I would be in the saddle and on my way.
“We promised that we would wait here, no matter what,” Janice reminded me.
“And they promised they would be back in a week,” I retorted. Turning, I faced her again. “It’s been fourteen days, Janice, and they aren’t home.”
“Maddie, please,” she pleaded, imploring me to listen.
Her hand reached out to touch me but I twisted away. I didn’t want her touching me. If she did, my anger might disappear. I needed to hold onto it. The rage was the only thing keeping me going. It covered the grief and pushed it down deep inside. Without the rage I would be useless.
“You have to stay here. We must wait here,” Janice insisted as I walked away.
I heard the desperation in her voice but I didn’t slow down. I had to find him - my best friend.
“Ryder made me promise to keep you safe.”
Those words stopped me. Hearing his name made tears swell behind my eyes. Constant worry squeezed my heart painfully. I took a deep breath. Then another.
“Please,” she urged, out of breath from trying to keep up with me.
I closed my eyes to the sadness I heard in her voice. I will not fall apart. I will not fall apart. Helplessness rose up in me, consuming everything. I pushed it to the back of my mind, burying the despair deep within me.
Opening my eyes, I looked at Janice. I saw Ryder in her features. It only reminded me how much I missed him.
“Janice, I need to find him,” I said, my voice hollow and sad.
Sympathy smoothed the lines on her face and erased her frown. “I know but Ryder wouldn’t want you riding off. He would want you here. Safe.”
I nodded and stared off into the distance. Ryder would kill me for leaving but what choice do I have? They should have been back by now. I could never live with myself if I did nothing while he was out there somewhere, possibly hurt, needing me.
I started walking again, adamant. “I’ll stick to the woods near the road. I know the area like the back of my hand. It’ll lead me straight to town. I’ll stay on the outskirts and ask around. Someone might have seen him,” I said, glancing over my shoulder at her. “I can do this, Janice. Trust me.”
“Listen to me, Maddie…”
Fifteen feet now. I could see my horse standing behind some large trees, waiting for me. Within minutes I could be on her back and riding away.
I was almost there when a shout rang out. Shielding my eyes from the sun, I peered into the far distance. Roger was running from the barn with a shotgun in his hand.
I glanced to the area he was heading. The road. What I saw made my heart race.
Men on horseback rode down the overgrown driveway. Each looked ragged and tired, almost unable to stay upright in their saddles. I should have been frightened; outsiders posed a threat. Without enough food and water in the country, citizens were fighting each other just to get a decent meal. People were being killed for a container of water or a cup of rice. Strangers traveling along a deserted road might be desperate for supplies and willing to kill for them.
But these men were not strangers. They were family.
In seconds I was flat out running, dropping my backpack and shotgun on the ground. Tall grass slashed at my legs, burning as it whipped against me. My shoes gripped the earth, carrying me closer. I flew, my gaze never wavering from the riders.
Time stood still as I crossed the yard. Janice stayed right on my heels, just as eager to get to them as I was.
Three horses. The implication of that pierced my mind but I didn’t slow down. The sun was unmerciful, heating everything in its path. Sweat rolled down my back but I refused to stop.
A yard from me, the horses were jerked to a standstill. Their sides heaved and their coats glistened. One or two of them stomped their hooves, creating little dust storms that rose upward, adding another thin layer of grime to the riders.
I stopped, out of breath and unable to process the faces of the men. My heart was beating too hard and my hands were shaking too badly. There was a painful stitch in my side from running and the roaring in my ears made thinking impossible.
Then I heard it - a familiar voice that sounded sweeter than honey. I felt weak with happiness and light with relief.
I watched with tears in my eyes as Eva slid off of the saddle from behind Brody, landing heavily on her feet. She was crying softly, tears streaking down her dirty cheeks.
I took a step forward, unsure if she was real or not. But when she looked at me, I knew I wasn’t dreaming.
“Eva!” I cried out.
She met me halfway, throwing her arms around my neck and holding on for dear life. “Oh, Maddie!” she cried over and over.
Her tears dampened my shirt and the dirt on her face smeared into my clothing. I didn’t care. I was just happy Eva was standing next to me again. Safe. Whole. Home.
I could feel her bony shoulders under my hands. Her right arm was bandaged in a grimy sling and her shirt was threadbare. Her beautiful blonde hair that had always looked so perfect was now matted and caked with mud. But she had never looked so good to me before.
Holding Eva’s gaunt body next to mine, I glanced at the other riders. Gavin was slowly climbing out of the saddle, looking defeated and weary. As Ryder’s older brother, he was the leader of the group. The eldest and the most levelheaded out of all of them.
Brody practically fell off of his horse in exhaustion. A filthy bandage was wrapped around his head and spots of blood dotted the material. The injury didn’t stop him from keeping his eyes on Eva. I knew his love for her was the only reason she was here now.
Cash brought up the rear. Always the loner, he remained in the saddle, holding himself distant from everyone else. His cowboy hat was pulled low over his eyes, hiding his expression and giving him a look of detachment.
But there was one person missing.
I let go of Eva and focused on Gavin. “Where’s Ryder?”
Gavin limped over to me, still carrying his shotgun. His eyes stared into mine, ignoring his mom and dad when they asked if he was okay. Ignoring everyone except me. Stopping inches away, he towered over me, tall like his brother.
The first thing I noticed was the amount of blood on his shirt. The second thing I noticed was the expression on his face. Sadness, anguish, and so much grief.
Oh God, no!
“Gavin?” I asked, my voice breaking. I took a step back. Then another, suddenly afraid. With each step, the bile rose higher in my throat.
Gavin shuffled forward, his hand reaching for me. “Maddie.”
That’s when I knew.
I started shaking my head, refusing to acknowledge what I read in his eyes. Tears blurred my vision and I felt as if a hand was tightly squeezing my neck, choking the life from me.
“NO! NO!” The words erupted from my throat like cries of grief.
I covered my mouth, holding back a scream when I saw wetness in Gavin’s eyes. Behind me Janice cried out in sorrow.
Gavin reached for me. The part of my mind still functioning noticed that his hand was covered in blood. It smeared across my arm as he grasped me and implored, “Listen to me, Maddie…”
I shook my head in denial and yanked away from him. He clutched his side, his face contorting with pain. Limping closer, his eyes held mine. I refused to acknowledge what I saw in them.
“Where’s Ryder?” I asked, forcing the words out.
When he didn’t answer, my tears fell harder.
“Oh, God! Oh, God!” I cried, rubbing my forehead and glancing around. Everyone was staring at me with pity. I started pacing, taking small steps back and forth in front of Gavin, unable to think clearly.
This couldn’t be happening! It’s a joke. A cruel joke!
I started pounding hysterically on Gavin’s chest, ignoring the way his face turned white. “Where the hell is he?” I screamed, pushing him back a step. “Where. Is. He?”
Gavin grabbed both of my wrists in one hand and sho
ok me once, trying to calm me down. “He was shot, Maddie!”
“NOOOO!” I cried. A sob ripped from my throat, followed by another. My knees went weak and my body deflated. I started to crumble, powerless to stand any longer.
Gavin managed to hold me upright, despite the fact that he seemed ready to fall himself. Pulling me forward, he wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m sorry, Maddie. I’m so sorry. I tried…I tried to get to him,” he said shakily.
I grabbed handfuls of his shirt and burst into tears as the ache in my chest became too much. I could hear sobbing and crying. Whether it came from me or someone else, I didn’t know.
Ryder’s been shot! He wasn’t coming back to me! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
“He was right in the thick of the fighting. Shots were flying everywhere but we were holding our own. Then more soldiers started appearing out of nowhere. I tried covering him so he could pull back to safety but we were outnumbered. I saw him go down,” Gavin said, sorrow in his voice. His arms tightened around me. “Blood was soaking his shirt and he was unconscious, just lying there in the grass.”
I clutched his shirt tighter as his words sank in. Blood. Ryder. Lying there.
“They took him. After they shot him, they dragged him away like a piece of garbage.” His voice took on a hard edge. “The bastards have him.”
With his last word, Gavin stumbled against me, suddenly heavy. I felt warmth against my abdomen. Looking down, I found blood soaking into my shirt. Jerking my eyes up, I saw Gavin’s face lose all color a second before his eyes rolled back into his head. He collapsed against me, out cold.
With a cry, I caught him, struggling to keep him upright. Brody rushed forward and grabbed Gavin before he collapsed and took me with him. Roger and Janice were beside their son immediately, kneeling next to him as Brody eased him to the ground.
I glanced down, nauseously eyeing the blood that smeared across my shirt and arms. In my head, it was Ryder’s blood soaking into my skin, not Gavin’s.
Tremors attacked every muscle of my body. My mind went blank and I felt cold. Empty. Numbly, I took a step back. Then another, shaking my head in denial. This can’t be happening! First my dad then Ryder! No, no, no!