Produced by Judith Boss. HTML version by Al Haines.
RAFFLES
FURTHER ADVENTURES OF THE AMATEUR CRACKSMAN
BY
E. W. HORNUNG
CONTENTS
NO SINECURE A JUBILEE PRESENT THE FATE OF FAUSTINA THE LAST LAUGH TO CATCH A THIEF AN OLD FLAME THE WRONG HOUSE THE KNEES OF THE GODS
RAFFLES
NO SINECURE
I
I am still uncertain which surprised me more, the telegram calling myattention to the advertisement, or the advertisement itself. Thetelegram is before me as I write. It would appear to have been handedin at Vere Street at eight o'clock in the morning of May 11, 1897, andreceived before half-past at Holloway B.O. And in that drab region itduly found me, unwashen but at work before the day grew hot and myattic insupportable.
"See Mr. Maturin's advertisement Daily Mail might suit you earnestlybeg try will speak if necessary ---- ----"
I transcribe the thing as I see it before me, all in one breath thattook away mine; but I leave out the initials at the end, whichcompleted the surprise. They stood very obviously for the knightedspecialist whose consulting-room is within a cab-whistle of VereStreet, and who once called me kinsman for his sins. More recently hehad called me other names. I was a disgrace, qualified by an adjectivewhich seemed to me another. I had made my bed, and I could go and lieand die in it. If I ever again had the insolence to show my nose inthat house, I should go out quicker than I came in. All this, andmore, my least distant relative could tell a poor devil to his face;could ring for his man, and give him his brutal instructions on thespot; and then relent to the tune of this telegram! I have no phrasefor my amazement. I literally could not believe my eyes. Yet theirevidence was more and more conclusive: a very epistle could not havebeen more characteristic of its sender. Meanly elliptical, ludicrouslyprecise, saving half-pence at the expense of sense, yet paying like aman for "Mr." Maturin, that was my distinguished relative from hisbald patch to his corns. Nor was all the rest unlike him, upon secondthoughts. He had a reputation for charity; he was going to live up toit after all. Either that, or it was the sudden impulse of which themost calculating are capable at times; the morning papers with theearly cup of tea, this advertisement seen by chance, and the rest uponthe spur of a guilty conscience.
Well, I must see it for myself, and the sooner the better, though workpressed. I was writing a series of articles upon prison life, and hadmy nib into the whole System; a literary and philanthropical daily wasparading my "charges," the graver ones with the more gusto; and theterms, if unhandsome for creative work, were temporary wealth to me.It so happened that my first check had just arrived by the eighto'clock post; and my position should be appreciated when I say that Ihad to cash it to obtain a Daily Mail.
Of the advertisement itself, what is to be said? It should speak foritself if I could find it, but I cannot, and only remember that it wasa "male nurse and constant attendant" that was "wanted for an elderlygentleman in feeble health." A male nurse! An absurd tag wasappended, offering "liberal salary to University or public-school man";and of a sudden I saw that I should get this thing if I applied for it.What other "University or public-school man" would dream of doing so?Was any other in such straits as I? And then my relenting relative; henot only promised to speak for me, but was the very man to do so.Could any recommendation compete with his in the matter of a malenurse? And need the duties of such be necessarily loathsome andrepellent? Certainly the surroundings would be better than those of mycommon lodging-house and own particular garret; and the food; and everyother condition of life that I could think of on my way back to thatunsavory asylum. So I dived into a pawnbroker's shop, where I was astranger only upon my present errand, and within the hour was airing adecent if antiquated suit, but little corrupted by the pawnbroker'smoth, and a new straw hat, on the top of a tram.
The address given in the advertisement was that of a flat at Earl'sCourt, which cost me a cross-country journey, finishing with theDistrict Railway and a seven minutes' walk. It was now past mid-day,and the tarry wood-pavement was good to smell as I strode up the Earl'sCourt Road. It was great to walk the civilized world again. Here weremen with coats on their backs, and ladies in gloves. My only fear waslest I might run up against one or other whom I had known of old. Butit was my lucky day. I felt it in my bones. I was going to get thisberth; and sometimes I should be able to smell the wood-pavement on theold boy's errands; perhaps he would insist on skimming over it in hisbath-chair, with me behind.
I felt quite nervous when I reached the flats. They were a small pilein a side street, and I pitied the doctor whose plate I saw upon thepalings before the ground-floor windows; he must be in a very smallway, I thought. I rather pitied myself as well. I had indulged invisions of better flats than these. There were no balconies. Theporter was out of livery. There was no lift, and my invalid on thethird floor! I trudged up, wishing I had never lived in Mount Street,and brushed against a dejected individual coming down. A full-bloodedyoung fellow in a frock-coat flung the right door open at my summons.
"Does Mr. Maturin live here?" I inquired.
"That's right," said the full-blooded young man, grinning all over aconvivial countenance.
"I--I've come about his advertisement in the Daily Mail."
"You're the thirty-ninth," cried the blood; "that was the thirty-eighthyou met upon the stairs, and the day's still young. Excuse my staringat you. Yes, you pass your prelim., and can come inside; you're one ofthe few. We had most just after breakfast, but now the porter'sheading off the worst cases, and that last chap was the first fortwenty minutes. Come in here."
And I was ushered into an empty room with a good bay-window, whichenabled my full-blooded friend to inspect me yet more critically in agood light; this he did without the least false delicacy; then hisquestions began.
"'Varsity man?"
"No."
"Public school?"
"Yes."
"Which one?"
I told him, and he sighed relief.
"At last! You're the very first I've not had to argue with as to whatis and what is not a public school. Expelled?"
"No," I said, after a moment's hesitation; "no, I was not expelled.And I hope you won't expel me if I ask a question in my turn?"
"Certainly not."
"Are you Mr. Maturin's son?"
"No, my name's Theobald. You may have seen it down below."
"The doctor?" I said.
"His doctor," said Theobald, with a satisfied eye. "Mr. Maturin'sdoctor. He is having a male nurse and attendant by my advice, and hewants a gentleman if he can get one. I rather think he'll see you,though he's only seen two or three all day. There are certain questionswhich he prefers to ask himself, and it's no good going over the sameground twice. So perhaps I had better tell him about you before we getany further."
And he withdrew to a room still nearer the entrance, as I could hear,for it was a very small flat indeed. But now two doors were shutbetween us, and I had to rest content with murmurs through the walluntil the doctor returned to summon me.
"I have persuaded my patient to see you," he whispered, "but I confessI am not sanguine of the result. He is very difficult to please. Youmust prepare yourself for a querulous invalid, and for no sinecure ifyou get the billet."
"May I ask what's the matter with him?"
"By all means--when you've got the billet."
Dr. Theobald then led the way, his professional dignity so thoroughlyintact that I could not but smile as I followed his swinging coat-tailsto the sick-roo
m. I carried no smile across the threshold of adarkened chamber which reeked of drugs and twinkled with medicinebottles, and in the middle of which a gaunt figure lay abed in thehalf-light.
"Take him to the window, take him to the window," a thin voice snapped,"and let's have a look at him. Open the blind a bit. Not as much asthat, damn you, not as much as that!"
The doctor took the oath as though it had been a fee. I no longerpitied him. It was now very clear to me that he had one patient whowas a little practice in himself. I determined there and then that heshould prove a little profession to me, if we could but keep him alivebetween us. Mr. Maturin, however, had the whitest face that I haveever seen, and his teeth gleamed out through the dusk as though thewithered lips no longer met about them; nor did they except in speech;and anything ghastlier than the perpetual grin of his repose I defy youto imagine. It was with this grin that he lay regarding me while thedoctor held the blind.
"So you think you could look after me, do you?"
"I'm certain I could, sir."
"Single-handed, mind! I don't keep another soul. You would have tocook your own grub and my slops. Do you think you could do all that?"
"Yes, sir, I think so."
"Why do you? Have you any experience of the kind?"
"No, sir, none."
"Then why do you pretend you have?"
"I only meant that I would do my best."
"Only meant, only meant! Have you done your best at everything else,then?"
I hung my head. This was a facer. And there was something in myinvalid which thrust the unspoken lie down my throat.
"No, sir, I have not," I told him plainly.
"He, he, he!" the old wretch tittered; "and you do well to own it; youdo well, sir, very well indeed. If you hadn't owned up, out you wouldhave gone, out neck-and-crop! You've saved your bacon. You may domore. So you are a public-school boy, and a very good school yours is,but you weren't at either University. Is that correct?"
"Absolutely."
"What did you do when you left school?"
"I came in for money."
"And then?"
"I spent my money."
"And since then?"
I stood like a mule.
"And since then, I say!"
"A relative of mine will tell you if you ask him. He is an eminentman, and he has promised to speak for me. I would rather say no moremyself."
"But you shall, sir, but you shall! Do you suppose that I suppose apublic-school boy would apply for a berth like this if something orother hadn't happened? What I want is a gentleman of sorts, and Idon't much care what sort; but you've got to tell me what did happen,if you don't tell anybody else. Dr. Theobald, sir, you can go to thedevil if you won't take a hint. This man may do or he may not. Youhave no more to say to it till I send him down to tell you one thing orthe other. Clear out, sir, clear out; and if you think you've anythingto complain of, you stick it down in the bill!"
In the mild excitement of our interview the thin voice had gatheredstrength, and the last shrill insult was screamed after the devotedmedico, as he retired in such order that I felt certain he was going totake this trying patient at his word. The bedroom door closed, thenthe outer one, and the doctor's heels went drumming down the commonstair. I was alone in the flat with this highly singular and ratherterrible old man.
"And a damned good riddance!" croaked the invalid, raising himself onone elbow without delay. "I may not have much body left to boastabout, but at least I've got a lost old soul to call my own. That'swhy I want a gentleman of sorts about me. I've been too dependent onthat chap. He won't even let me smoke, and he's been in the flat allday to see I didn't. You'll find the cigarettes behind the Madonna ofthe Chair."
It was a steel engraving of the great Raffaelle, and the frame wastilted from the wall; at a touch a packet of cigarettes tumbled downfrom behind.
"Thanks; and now a light."
I struck the match and held it, while the invalid inhaled with normallips; and suddenly I sighed. I was irresistibly reminded of my poordear old Raffles. A smoke-ring worthy of the great A. J. was floatingupward from the sick man's lips.
"And now take one yourself. I have smoked more poisonous cigarettes.But even these are not Sullivans!"
I cannot repeat what I said. I have no idea what I did. I onlyknow--I only knew--that it was A. J. Raffles in the flesh!
II
"Yes, Bunny, it was the very devil of a swim; but I defy you to sinkin the Mediterranean. That sunset saved me. The sea was on fire. Ihardly swam under water at all, but went all I knew for the sunitself; when it set I must have been a mile away; until it did I wasthe invisible man. I figured on that, and only hope it wasn't setdown as a case of suicide. I shall get outed quite soon enough, Bunny,but I'd rather be dropped by the hangman than throw my own wicket away."
"Oh, my dear old chap, to think of having you by the hand again! I feelas though we were both aboard that German liner, and all that'shappened since a nightmare. I thought that time was the last!"
"It looked rather like it, Bunny. It was taking all the risks, andhitting at everything. But the game came off, and some day I'll tellyou how."
"Oh, I'm in no hurry to hear. It's enough for me to see you lyingthere. I don't want to know how you came there, or why, though I fearyou must be pretty bad. I must have a good look at you before I letyou speak another word!"
I raised one of the blinds, I sat upon the bed, and I had that look.It left me all unable to conjecture his true state of health, but quitecertain in my own mind that my dear Raffles was not and never would bethe man that he had been. He had aged twenty years; he looked fifty atthe very least. His hair was white; there was no trick about that;and his face was another white. The lines about the corners of theeyes and mouth were both many and deep. On the other hand, the eyesthemselves were alight and alert as ever; they were still keen and grayand gleaming, like finely tempered steel. Even the mouth, with acigarette to close it, was the mouth of Raffles and no other: strongand unscrupulous as the man himself. It was only the physical strengthwhich appeared to have departed; but that was quite sufficient to makemy heart bleed for the dear rascal who had cost me every tie I valuedbut the tie between us two.
"Think I look much older?" he asked at length.
"A bit," I admitted. "But it is chiefly your hair."
"Whereby hangs a tale for when we've talked ourselves out, though Ihave often thought it was that long swim that started it. Still, theIsland of Elba is a rummy show, I can assure you. And Naples is arummier!"
"You went there after all?"
"Rather! It's the European paradise for such as our noble selves. Butthere's no place that's a patch on little London as a non-conductor ofheat; it never need get too hot for a fellow here; if it does it'shis own fault. It's the kind of wicket you don't get out on, unlessyou get yourself out. So here I am again, and have been for the lastsix weeks. And I mean to have another knock."
"But surely, old fellow, you're not awfully fit, are you?"
"Fit? My dear Bunny, I'm dead--I'm at the bottom of the sea--and don'tyou forget it for a minute."
"But are you all right, or are you not?"
"No, I'm half-poisoned by Theobald's prescriptions and putridcigarettes, and as weak as a cat from lying in bed."
"Then why on earth lie in bed, Raffles?"
"Because it's better than lying in gaol, as I am afraid YOU know, mypoor dear fellow. I tell you I am dead; and my one terror is of comingto life again by accident. Can't you see? I simply dare not show mynose out of doors--by day. You have no idea of the number ofperfectly innocent things a dead man daren't do. I can't even smokeSullivans, because no one man was ever so partial to them as I was inmy lifetime, and you never know when you may start a clew."
"What brought you to these mansions?"
"I fancied a flat, and a man recommended these on the boat; such a goodchap, Bunny; he was my re
ference when it came to signing the lease.You see I landed on a stretcher--most pathetic case--old Australianwithout a friend in old country--ordered Engadine as last chance--nogo--not an earthly--sentimental wish to die in London--that's thehistory of Mr. Maturin. If it doesn't hit you hard, Bunny, you're thefirst. But it hit friend Theobald hardest of all. I'm an income tohim. I believe he's going to marry on me."
"Does he guess there's nothing wrong?"
"Knows, bless you! But he doesn't know I know he knows, and thereisn't a disease in the dictionary that he hasn't treated me for sincehe's had me in hand. To do him justice, I believe he thinks me ahypochondriac of the first water; but that young man will go far if hekeeps on the wicket. He has spent half his nights up here, at guineasapiece."
"Guineas must be plentiful, old chap!"
"They have been, Bunny. I can't say more. But I don't see why theyshouldn't be again."
I was not going to inquire where the guineas came from. As if I cared!But I did ask old Raffles how in the world he had got upon my tracks;and thereby drew the sort of smile with which old gentlemen rub theirhands, and old ladies nod their noses. Raffles merely produced aperfect oval of blue smoke before replying.
"I was waiting for you to ask that, Bunny; it's a long time since I didanything upon which I plume myself more. Of course, in the firstplace, I spotted you at once by these prison articles; they were notsigned, but the fist was the fist of my sitting rabbit!"
"But who gave you my address?"
"I wheedled it out of your excellent editor; called on him at dead ofnight, when I occasionally go afield like other ghosts, and wept it outof him in five minutes. I was your only relative; your name was notyour own name; if he insisted I would give him mine. He didn'tinsist, Bunny, and I danced down his stairs with your address in mypocket."
"Last night?"
"No, last week."
"And so the advertisement was yours, as well as the telegram!"
I had, of course, forgotten both in the high excitement of the hour, orI should scarcely have announced my belated discovery with such an air.As it was I made Raffles look at me as I had known him look before,and the droop of his eyelids began to sting.
"Why all this subtlety?" I petulantly exclaimed. "Why couldn't youcome straight away to me in a cab?"
He did not inform me that I was hopeless as ever. He did not addressme as his good rabbit.
He was silent for a time, and then spoke in a tone which made meashamed of mine.
"You see, there are two or three of me now, Bunny: one's at the bottomof the Mediterranean, and one's an old Australian desirous of dying inthe old country, but in no immediate danger of dying anywhere. Theold Australian doesn't know a soul in town; he's got to be consistent,or he's done. This sitter Theobald is his only friend, and has seenrather too much of him; ordinary dust won't do for his eyes. Begin tosee? To pick you out of a crowd, that was the game; to let oldTheobald help to pick you, better still! To start with, he was deadagainst my having anybody at all; wanted me all to himself, naturally;but anything rather than kill the goose! So he is to have a fiver aweek while he keeps me alive, and he's going to be married next month.That's a pity in some ways, but a good thing in others; he will wantmore money than he foresees, and he may always be of use to us at apinch. Meanwhile he eats out of my hand."
I complimented Raffles on the mere composition of his telegram, withhalf the characteristics of my distinguished kinsman squeezed into adozen odd words; and let him know how the old ruffian had reallytreated me. Raffles was not surprised; we had dined together at myrelative's in the old days, and filed for reference a professionalvaluation of his household gods. I now learnt that the telegram hadbeen posted, with the hour marked for its despatch, at the pillarnearest Vere Street, on the night before the advertisement was due toappear in the Daily Mail. This also had been carefully prearranged;and Raffles's only fear had been lest it might be held over despite hisexplicit instructions, and so drive me to the doctor for anexplanation of his telegram. But the adverse chances had been weededout and weeded out to the irreducible minimum of risk.
His greatest risk, according to Raffles, lay nearest home: bedriddeninvalid that he was supposed to be, his nightly terror was of runninginto Theobald's arms in the immediate neighborhood of the flat. ButRaffles had characteristic methods of minimizing even that danger, ofwhich something anon; meanwhile he recounted more than one of hisnocturnal adventures, all, however, of a singularly innocent type; andone thing I noticed while he talked. His room was the first as youentered the flat. The long inner wall divided the room not merelyfrom the passage but from the outer landing as well. Thus every stepupon the bare stone stairs could be heard by Raffles where he lay; andhe would never speak while one was ascending, until it had passed hisdoor. The afternoon brought more than one applicant for the post whichit was my duty to tell them that I had already obtained. Between threeand four, however, Raffles, suddenly looking at his watch, packed meoff in a hurry to the other end of London for my things.
"I'm afraid you must be famishing, Bunny. It's a fact that I eat verylittle, and that at odd hours, but I ought not to have forgotten you.Get yourself a snack outside, but not a square meal if you can resistone. We've got to celebrate this day this night!"
"To-night?" I cried.
"To-night at eleven, and Kellner's the place. You may well open youreyes, but we didn't go there much, if you remember, and the staff seemschanged. Anyway we'll risk it for once. I was in last night, talkinglike a stage American, and supper's ordered for eleven sharp."
"You made as sure of me as all that!"
"There was no harm in ordering supper. We shall have it in a privateroom, but you may as well dress if you've got the duds."
"They're at my only forgiving relative's."
"How much will get them out, and square you up, and bring you back bagand baggage in good time?"
I had to calculate.
"A tenner, easily."
"I had one ready for you. Here it is, and I wouldn't lose any time ifI were you. On the way you might look up Theobald, tell him you've gotit and how long you'll be gone, and that I can't be left alone all thetime. And, by Jove, yes! You get me a stall for the Lyceum at thenearest agent's; there are two or three in High Street; and say it wasgiven you when you come in. That young man shall be out of the wayto-night."
I found our doctor in a minute consulting-room and his shirt-sleeves, atall tumbler at his elbow; at least I caught sight of the tumbler onentering; thereafter he stood in front of it, with a futility whichhad my sympathy.
"So you've got the billet," said Dr. Theobald. "Well, as I told youbefore, and as you have since probably discovered for yourself, youwon't find it exactly a sinecure. My own part of the business is by nomeans that; indeed, there are those who would throw up the case, afterthe kind of treatment that you have seen for yourself. Butprofessional considerations are not the only ones, and one cannot maketoo many allowances in such a case."
"But what is the case?" I asked him. "You said you would tell me if Iwas successful."
Dr. Theobald's shrug was worthy of the profession he seemed destined toadorn; it was not incompatible with any construction which one chose toput upon it. Next moment he had stiffened. I suppose I still spokemore or less like a gentleman. Yet, after all, I was only the malenurse. He seemed to remember this suddenly, and he took occasion toremind me of the fact.
"Ah," said he, "that was before I knew you were altogether withoutexperience; and I must say that I was surprised even at Mr. Maturin'sengaging you after that; but it will depend upon yourself how long Iallow him to persist in so curious an experiment. As for what is thematter with him, my good fellow, it is no use my giving you an answerwhich would be double Dutch to you; moreover, I have still to test yourdiscretionary powers. I may say, however, that that poor gentlemanpresents at once the most complex and most troublesome case, which isresponsibility enough without
certain features which make it all butinsupportable. Beyond this I must refuse to discuss my patient for thepresent; but I shall certainly go up if I can find time."
He went up within five minutes. I found him there on my return atdusk. But he did not refuse my stall for the Lyceum, which Raffleswould not allow me to use myself, and presented to him off-hand withoutmy leave.
"And don't you bother any more about me till to-morrow," snapped thehigh thin voice as he was off. "I can send for you now when I wantyou, and I'm hoping to have a decent night for once."
III
It was half-past ten when we left the flat, in an interval of silenceon the noisy stairs. The silence was unbroken by our wary feet. Yetfor me a surprise was in store upon the very landing. Instead of goingdownstairs, Raffles led me up two flights, and so out upon a perfectlyflat roof.
"There are two entrances to these mansions," he explained between starsand chimney-stacks: "one to our staircase, and another round thecorner. But there's only one porter, and he lives on the basementunderneath us, and affects the door nearest home. We miss him by usingthe wrong stairs, and we run less risk of old Theobald. I got the tipfrom the postmen, who come up one way and down the other. Now, followme, and look out!"
There was indeed some necessity for caution, for each half of thebuilding had its L-shaped well dropping sheer to the base, the parapetsso low that one might easily have tripped over them into eternity.However, we were soon upon the second staircase, which opened on theroof like the first. And twenty minutes of the next twenty-five wespent in an admirable hansom, skimming east.
"Not much change in the old hole, Bunny. More of these magic-lanternadvertisements ... and absolutely the worst bit of taste in town,though it's saying something, in that equestrian statue with the giltstirrups and fixings; why don't they black the buffer's boots and hishorse's hoofs while they are about it? ... More bicyclists, of course.That was just beginning, if you remember. It might have been useful tous.... And there's the old club, getting put into a crate for theJubilee; by Jove, Bunny, we ought to be there. I wouldn't lean forwardin Piccadilly, old chap. If you're seen I'm thought of, and we shallhave to be jolly careful at Kellner's.... Ah, there it is! Did I tellyou I was a low-down stage Yankee at Kellner's? You'd better beanother, while the waiter's in the room."
We had the little room upstairs; and on the very threshold I, even I,who knew my Raffles of old, was taken horribly aback. The table waslaid for three. I called his attention to it in a whisper.
"Why, yep!" came through his nose. "Say, boy, the lady, she's notcomin', but you leave that tackle where 'tis. If I'm liable to pay, Iguess I'll have all there is to it."
I have never been in America, and the American public is the last onearth that I desire to insult; but idiom and intonation alike wouldhave imposed upon my inexperience. I had to look at Raffles to makesure that it was he who spoke, and I had my own reasons for lookinghard.
"Who on earth was the lady?" I inquired aghast at the first opportunity.
"She isn't on earth. They don't like wasting this room on two, that'sall. Bunny--my Bunny--here's to us both!"
And we clinked glasses swimming with the liquid gold of Steinberg,1868; but of the rare delights of that supper I can scarcely trustmyself to write. It was no mere meal, it was no coarse orgy, but alittle feast for the fastidious gods, not unworthy of Lucullus at hisworst. And I who had bolted my skilly at Wormwood Scrubbs, andtightened my belt in a Holloway attic, it was I who sat down to thisineffable repast! Where the courses were few, but each a triumph ofits kind, it would be invidious to single out any one dish; but theJambon de Westphalie au Champagne tempts me sorely. And then thechampagne that we drank, not the quantity but the quality! Well, itwas Pol Roger, '84, and quite good enough for me; but even so it wasnot more dry, nor did it sparkle more, than the merry rascal who haddragged me thus far to the devil, but should lead me dancing the restof the way. I was beginning to tell him so. I had done my honest bestsince my reappearance in the world; but the world had done its worstby me. A further antithesis and my final intention were both upon mytongue when the waiter with the Chateau Margaux cut me short; for hewas the bearer of more than that great wine; bringing also a card upona silver tray.
"Show him up," said Raffles, laconically.
"And who is this?" I cried when the man was gone. Raffles reachedacross the table and gripped my arm in a vice. His eyes were steelpoints fixed on mine.
"Bunny, stand by me," said he in the old irresistible voice, a voiceboth stern and winning. "Stand by me, Bunny--if there's a row!"
And there was time for nothing more, the door flying open, and a dapperperson entering with a bow; a frock-coat on his back, gold pince-nez onhis nose; a shiny hat in one hand, and a black bag in the other.
"Good-evening, gentlemen," said he, at home and smiling.
"Sit down," drawled Raffles in casual response. "Say, let me introduceyou to Mr. Ezra B. Martin, of Shicawgo. Mr. Martin is my futurebrother-in-law. This is Mr. Robinson, Ezra, manager to Sparks &Company, the cellerbrated joolers on Re-gent Street."
I pricked up my ears, but contented myself with a nod. I altogetherdistrusted my ability to live up to my new name and address.
"I figured on Miss Martin bein' right here, too," continued Raffles,"but I regret to say she's not feelin' so good. We light out forParrus on the 9 A. M. train to-morrer mornin', and she guessed she'dbe too dead. Sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Robinson; but you'll see I'madvertisin' your wares."
Raffles held his right hand under the electric light, and a diamondring flashed upon his little finger. I could have sworn it was notthere five minutes before.
The tradesman had a disappointed face, but for a moment it brightenedas he expatiated on the value of that ring and on the price his peoplehad accepted for it. I was invited to guess the figure, but I shook adiscreet head. I have seldom been more taciturn in my life.
"Forty-five pounds," cried the jeweller; "and it would be cheap atfifty guineas."
"That's right," assented Raffles. "That'd be dead cheap, I allow. Butthen, my boy, you gotten ready cash, and don't you forget it."
I do not dwell upon my own mystification in all this. I merely pauseto state that I was keenly enjoying that very element. Nothing couldhave been more typical of Raffles and the past. It was only my ownattitude that was changed.
It appeared that the mythical lady, my sister, had just become engagedto Raffles, who seemed all anxiety to pin her down with gifts ofprice. I could not quite gather whose gift to whom was the diamondring; but it had evidently been paid for; and I voyaged to the moon,wondering when and how. I was recalled to this planet by a deluge ofgems from the jeweller's bag. They lay alight in their cases like theelectric lamps above. We all three put our heads together over them,myself without the slightest clew as to what was coming, but notunprepared for violent crime. One does not do eighteen months fornothing.
"Right away," Raffles was saying. "We'll choose for her, and you'llchange anything she don't like. Is that the idea?"
"That was my suggestion, sir."
"Then come on, Ezra. I guess you know Sadie's taste. You help mechoose."
And we chose--lord! What did we not choose? There was her ring, adiamond half-hoop. It cost L95, and there was no attempt to get it forL90. Then there was a diamond necklet--two hundred guineas, butpounds accepted. That was to be the gift of the bridegroom. Thewedding was evidently imminent. It behooved me to play a brotherlypart. I therefore rose to the occasion; calculated she would like adiamond star (L116), but reckoned it was more than I could afford; andsustained a vicious kick under the table for either verb. I was afraidto open my mouth on finally obtaining the star for the round hundred.And then the fat fell in the fire; for pay we could not; though aremittance (said Raffles) was "overdo from Noo York."
"But I don't know you, gentlemen," the jeweller exclaimed. "I haven'teven the name of your hotel!"
"I told you we was stoppin' with friends," said Raffles, who was notangry, though thwarted and crushed. "But that's right, sir! Oh, that'sdead right, and I'm the last man to ask you to take Quixotic risks.I'm tryin' to figure a way out. Yes, SIR, that's what I'm tryin' todo."
"I wish you could, sir," the jeweller said, with feeling. "It isn't asif we hadn't seen the color of your money. But certain rules I'msworn to observe; it isn't as if I was in business for myself; and--yousay you start for Paris in the morning!"
"On the 9 A. M. train," mused Raffles; "and I've heard no-end yarnsabout the joolers' stores in Parrus. But that ain't fair; don't youtake no notice o' that. I'm tryin' to figure a way out. Yes, SIR!"
He was smoking cigarettes out of a twenty-five box; the tradesman and Ihad cigars. Raffles sat frowning with a pregnant eye, and it was onlytoo clear to me that his plans had miscarried. I could not helpthinking, however, that they deserved to do so, if he had counted uponbuying credit for all but L400 by a single payment of some ten percent. That again seemed unworthy of Raffles, and I, for my part, stillsat prepared to spring any moment at our visitor's throat.
"We could mail you the money from Parrus," drawled Raffles at length."But how should we know you'd hold up your end of the string, and mailus the same articles we've selected to-night?"
The visitor stiffened in his chair. The name of his firm should besufficient guarantee for that.
"I guess I'm no better acquainted with their name than they are withmine," remarked Raffles, laughing. "See here, though! I got a scheme.You pack 'em in this!"
He turned the cigarettes out of the tin box, while the jeweller and Ijoined wondering eyes.
"Pack 'em in this," repeated Raffles, "the three things we want, andnever mind the boxes; you can pack 'em in cotton-wool. Then we'll ringfor string and sealing wax, seal up the lot right here, and you cantake 'em away in your grip. Within three days we'll have ourremittance, and mail you the money, and you'll mail us this darned boxwith my seal unbroken! It's no use you lookin' so sick, Mr. Jooler;you won't trust us any, and yet we're goin' to trust you some. Ringthe bell, Ezra, and we'll see if they've gotten any sealing-wax andstring."
They had; and the thing was done. The tradesman did not like it; theprecaution was absolutely unnecessary; but since he was taking all hisgoods away with him, the sold with the unsold, his sentimentalobjections soon fell to the ground. He packed necklet, ring, and star,with his own hands, in cotton-wool; and the cigarette-box held them soeasily that at the last moment, when the box was closed, and the stringready, Raffles very nearly added a diamond bee-brooch at L51 10s. Thistemptation, however, he ultimately overcame, to the other's chagrin.The cigarette-box was tied up, and the string sealed, oddly enough,with the diamond of the ring that had been bought and paid for.
"I'll chance you having another ring in the store the dead spit ofmine," laughed Raffles, as he relinquished the box, and it disappearedinto the tradesman's bag. "And now, Mr. Robinson, I hope you'llappreciate my true hospitality in not offering you any thing to drinkwhile business was in progress. That's Chateau Margaux, sir, and Ishould judge it's what you'd call an eighteen-carat article."
In the cab which we took to the vicinity of the flat, I was instantlysnubbed for asking questions which the driver might easily overhear,and took the repulse just a little to heart. I could make neitherhead nor tail of Raffles's dealings with the man from Regent Street,and was naturally inquisitive as to the meaning of it all. But I heldmy tongue until we had regained the flat in the cautious manner of ourexit, and even there until Raffles rallied me with a hand on eithershoulder and an old smile upon his face.
"You rabbit!" said he. "Why couldn't you wait till we got home?"
"Why couldn't you tell me what you were going to do?" I retorted as ofyore.
"Because your dear old phiz is still worth its weight in innocence, andbecause you never could act for nuts! You looked as puzzled as theother poor devil; but you wouldn't if you had known what my game reallywas."
"And pray what was it?"
"That," said Raffles, and he smacked the cigarette-box down upon themantelpiece. It was not tied. It was not sealed. It flew open fromthe force of the impact. And the diamond ring that cost L95, thenecklet for L200, and my flaming star at another L100, all three laysafe and snug in the jeweller's own cotton-wool!
"Duplicate boxes!" I cried.
"Duplicate boxes, my brainy Bunny. One was already packed andweighted, and in my pocket. I don't know whether you noticed meweighing the three things together in my hand? I know that neither ofyou saw me change the boxes, for I did it when I was nearest buying thebee-brooch at the end, and you were too puzzled, and the other Johnnytoo keen. It was the cheapest shot in the game; the dear ones weresending old Theobald to Southampton on a fool's errand yesterdayafternoon, and showing one's own nose down Regent Street in broaddaylight while he was gone; but some things are worth paying for, andcertain risks one must always take. Nice boxes, aren't they? I onlywished they contained a better cigarette; but a notorious brand wasessential; a box of Sullivans would have brought me to life to-morrow."
"But they oughtn't to open it to-morrow."
"Nor will they, as a matter of fact. Meanwhile, Bunny, I may call uponyou to dispose of the boodle."
"I'm on for any mortal thing!"
My voice rang true, I swear, but it was the way of Raffles to take theevidence of as many senses as possible. I felt the cold steel of hiseyes through mine and through my brain. But what he saw seemed tosatisfy him no less than what he heard, for his hand found my hand, andpressed it with a fervor foreign to the man.
"I know you are, and I knew you would be. Only remember, Bunny, it'smy turn next to pay the shot!"
You shall hear how he paid it when the time came.