Reality Check
Copyright 2011 John Foltin
Cover Art by Donna Casey
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER ONE
Brian Little was your typical average guy. He was a struggling customer service representative in Bismarck, North Dakota. He lived by himself in a small one-bedroom apartment. He needed to lose a couple twenty pounds. He was fast approaching thirty.
Brian had never had much luck with women. He had never had a relationship that lasted longer than a month. When he was in high school, Brian was extremely shy.
In sixth grade for a field trip, he went camping for four nights. The first three days, he studied nature, made wallets, and ate by the campfire. He had never spent a night away from home until then. On the last night, there was a dance that everyone had to attend. He didn’t know how to dance. He was scared of girls. Brian just figured that he would just stand around in a corner undetected until it was over.
Someone asked him to dance. He didn’t know what to do or say. He went out there and tried to dance. After that, a few other girls asked him to dance. He even got up the nerve to ask someone to dance.
Then, Gretchen Carlyle, the most popular girl in the sixth grade, wanted to dance with Brian. He was petrified. Eventually, he did dance with her. Everyone was watching them. After that, Brian was on Cloud Nine. He was so excited that he didn’t know what to think. All he could think about was Gretchen.
That was until he found out that one of his ‘friends’ had arranged every single one of his dances. He went from Cloud Nine to Rock Bottom. Brian was devastated.
Another time, at his junior year at Band Camp, he was walking from his cabin to the mess hall on the last night. His friend, the same ‘friend’ from Camp Piedmont, had called Brian over to his group. He positioned Brian in just the right spot.
Suddenly, he had one beautiful woman to either side of him. The one on the right, Heidi McConnell, kissed him on the cheek. The other chickened out. Before this, he was your typical “sixteen and never been kissed.”
So many things were racing through his mind. No woman, let alone one as pretty as her, had shown the slightest bit of serious interest in him. Brian’s friend told him that the next day he could do whatever he wanted to with her. Brian couldn’t sleep that night. He was so excited. She was his first real ‘love’.
The next morning, Brian was at the mess hall extra early anticipating her arrival. When she did come by, she was carrying her luggage. She had to leave early. He thought nothing of it. He left Band Camp feeling good and curious.
The following Tuesday was their first practice after camp. Brian was going to ask her why she did what she did, but she wasn’t at practice. He waited until their next practice on Thursday. She was there this time. After rehearsal, he asked her that question. She told Brian that his ‘friend’ who invited him over at Band Camp had dared her to do it, that there was no interest in him.
That night and all next day, he spent in his room, trying to glue together the million or so pieces of his broken heart and in thought. He thought, “This is the kind of friends that I have? One who jokes around with my emotions not once, but twice? The first woman that I ever strongly cared about used me as the butt of a joke.”
After that, it was hard for Brian to be confident enough to ask anyone out. He would view any interest from women ask yet another opportunity for embarrassment. His college years were spent in solitude, never having a social life, a recluse.
After graduating from college, he returned to his hometown to become a math teacher at his alma mater.
Brian only had a few friends, Matt, Aaron, and Roger, and they were all married. It always made him feel a bit uncomfortable going places with them, like a fifth wheel.
There was one common ground they all had: reality TV shows. They always met at someone’s house every Monday for the Bachelor, every Tuesday for Biggest Loser, every Wednesday for American Idol and every Thursday for Survivor. They watch them wondering, “Where did they find this yahoo?”
They wonder what it would be like to be on one of these shows. Since, with the exception of Brian, they were all married, they would just wish about it. They couldn’t spend the time apart from their spouse. As for Brian, well, he wasn’t very attractive, he couldn’t carry a tune, he didn’t need to lose that much weight, and he had too many fears and wasn’t athletic.
Meanwhile, in Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin, Samantha Dawson was working as a paralegal for a major law firm. She, too, lived in a one-bedroom apartment. She knew there was something missing in her life.
She was a hopeless romantic, sometimes too hopeless. She wanted to be loved by someone, but the men she chose were all wrong for her.
Her date for her senior prom was someone she was dating for only a few weeks. After the prom, he had gotten what he ‘wanted’ from her, and he dumped her.
After that, she was so desperate for someone to love her that she would go out with anyone that asked her. Unfortunately, most of them were only into the one-night stand. She swore that she would never sleep with another man unless it was the right man for her. As a result, most of those relationships were short.
There was one, however, that looked like the real deal. Soon after graduating from the University of Wisconsin, she met Joshua Maynard who swept her off her feet. They were together for two years. He proposed to her, and she said yes.
Two weeks before Samantha’s wedding day, however, she discovered that he was cheating on her. Believing that it was all her fault, she called off the wedding. She was never the same after that. The only man that would be in her life after that would be her cat Tigger.
She spent most of her off hours reading romance novels and listening to her CDs. She watched very little television, and what she did watch was mostly news.
CHAPTER TWO
Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, there was an executives meeting at XYZ Studios. Their latest film, Ultimate Warrior 3, had just bombed at the box office. Because of that and other failed ventures, the studio was facing impending bankruptcy.
“We need an idea to keep this company open. A fresh idea. Something that will sell tickets. I don’t need to remind you that your futures, as well as that of this company, rest in your next decision.”
After the meeting, Jason Williams, one of the executives, overheard some of the interns talking in the break room.
“Did you see Rock of Love last night? Elizabeth is smoking hot.”
“Yeah, but she’s nothing compared to Chelsie on Dancing with the Stars. What I wouldn’t give to be her partner, if you know what I mean.”
“You guys are pigs. Now, Domenic from Big Brother, now there’s a hottie.”
That’s when an idea came to Jason. He did some research into reality television, what kinds of shows there were, what was done on those shows. Then, he researched possible locations for such a movie.
The next day, the executives met to discuss ideas.
“How about we try Ultimate Warrior 4. Only this time, we go back to the roots. No trying
to change what worked in the past.”
“Are there any bright ideas here?”
That’s when Jason spoke up. “I’ve got an idea. Something that’s never been tried before. What’s the most popular trend in entertainment today? Reality television. And yet, no one has tried to make a reality movie. I think we should be the first.”
“Go on. What did you have in mind?”
“Well, we get a bunch of people together and try to play matchmaker, sort of like the Bachelor. Actually, more like what Temptation Island was like.”
“Keep going. Sounds good so far.”
“We can do it on a limited budget. No high-figure salaries for major celebrities. The only person we would need to hire would be a host. I’ve already found the perfect place to film. I have talked with a hotel in the area that is willing to help us at a discounted rate for the free publicity.”
“Looks like we got ourselves an idea. Get to work on the plans and how we are going to get our cast.”
The next day, Jason sat down and came up with the storyline behind Heartbreak Hotel, as he called it. There would be fifteen men and fifteen women. They would go on a series of group dates to see who, if any, they found a connection with. After that would be a series of eliminations. After that, they would go on a series of one-on-one dates. Finally, a decision would be made if the couples would continue seeing each other after they left.
Jason worked with advertising to set up a full page ad in every major newspaper. He also set up a website, where possible candidates could e-mail videos.
A month later, the fifteen men and women would be chosen.
CHAPTER THREE
One Wednesday night, Aaron saw an ad for Heartbreak Hotel. He mentioned this to Roger and Matt. They tried talking Brian into sending a tape, but Brian knew he wasn’t good enough for a show like that.
After Brian left, they decided that, just in case, they would piece together a tape for Brian and send it in for him as a surprise. They went through some pictures and home movies they had taken over the years. Each one gave their testimony about what kind of guy Brian was. They sent it off the next day before they could change their minds.
Next Monday, as the Bachelor was starting, they told him about the tape they sent in.
“What? Why?”
“Well, we’ve seen you sitting around, moping about ‘Why can’t I find that special woman?’ And we know you like this kind of show. Just killing two birds with one stone.”
“Doesn’t matter. They won’t pick me anyway. I’m not attractive enough for TV. I’m too out of shape. And I’m too boring.”
Samantha was not at all interested in reality shows. She believed that people who were desperate for attention applied for these shows and that some of the shows, in the end, were a bit too staged.
One day at work, she overheard one of her firm’s clients talking about Heartbreak Hotel. Even with her jaded views on reality television, she was intrigued by this idea. She did some research on this show. In the end, she decided to at least submit a tape to this. The hopeless romantic in her told her to do it.
Meanwhile, the executives for Heartbreak Hotel went through several thousand videos. They sorted them into four separate categories. ‘Definite’, a pile of a few. ‘Maybe’, a pile of hundreds. ‘Not’, a large pile. And ‘No Way’, tapes so stupid that they weren’t considered but kept for the bloopers at the end of the movie.
They came upon Brian’s video. After watching it for five minutes, they talked about it. “Type of personality we want, but look at him. Maybe.”
After several thousand videos, half of the names ended up in the ‘Not’ pile and only twenty in the ‘Definite’ pile. They still needed to pick six guys and four ladies. The process started all over again with the ‘Maybe’ pile.
They looked through all the videos again, including Samantha’s.
“Thank you for taking the time to look at my tape. Let me start by saying that I am not a big fan of reality television, but your show drew my attention. You see, I believe in love at first sight. I believe that the right two people can meet and make that connection in an instant.
“While I have not had much luck in my thirty-one years, I am still a hopeless romantic with a kind heart.” The tape went on for another few minutes, talking about who she was, what she did, and what she liked.
With the choices they had already made, they felt that Samantha would be a breath of fresh air. They chose her to be on the show.
With just one more man to choose, they looked at Brian’s again.
“Brian is a kind, considerate guy. He’d give the shirt off his back for a friend.”
“Brian has a heart of gold. A hopeless romantic.”
“Brian would make some lady a great husband. He’s sensitive, loyal, caring. A true Boy Scout.”
All this narration was behind pictures and home movies of Brian at work and at play. They showed footage of him volunteering his time helping with his church’s Vacation Bible School and taking donations over the phone for the Hope for Haiti telethon. After five minutes, the screen flashed “Vote For Brian”.
Just as they were about to select Brian, they viewed one last video. After a long discussion, Brian got bumped, but they kept his video in mind in case of emergency.
One by one, the executives called each of the thirty tenants to give them the good news. They also made arrangements for passports for the thirty tenants.
“Samantha Dawson? This is the office of Heartbreak Hotel. We were calling to see if you were still interested in being on our show.”
“Sure. I just need to clear this all with my boss.”
Having been given the time off, she arranged for her neighbor to take care of Tigger for the next few weeks. She packed and headed for the airport.
They got the thirty men and women together, keeping the men separate from the women. Each one had a thorough background check done. Each one took a complete physical.
As the men boarded their plane destined for a tropical paradise, one of the guys was pulled aside. The background check turned up a criminal record from his youth. He was disqualified. Now, they scrambled to find a replacement.
Remembering the videos, they played Brian’s one more time. After a short review, they decided to fly Brian out without running a check or physical.
They tried calling his house, but all they got was his answering machine. They left a message. Then, they tried calling his cell phone.
“Brian Little speaking.”
“Brian, Hi. I’m from the Heartbreak Hotel. I’m calling about the tape your friends sent in. I was wondering if you were interested in being in our movie.”
“Sure.”
“Great. How soon can you be ready to go?”
“I just need to go home and pack.”
Fortunately, Brian still had his passport from his trip to England a few years ago. He was able to take a leave of absence from work.
He rushed home. He called all his friends and told them the good news. He packed two suitcases, one with party wear, and one with dress outfits. A taxi took him to the airport.
At the airport, an executive from the show was waiting for him. He had his ticket that would take him straight to Antigua. He briefed him about the show during the flight.
CHAPTER FOUR
They checked into the Verandah Resort. Each person had his/her own suite for the duration of the show. Brian and Samantha both saw a note on their pillows. “Meet at the pool at ten o’clock. Dress casual.”
As they walked by the pool, they saw thirty chairs, each one with a name tag, forming a circle. Guys were seated on one side, ladies on the other.
As the last of the guests filed in, Austin Davies, the host, dressed in a tuxedo, stepped to the center of the circle.
“Good morning, and welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel. Some of you may find happiness; others may find heartbreak. All of you wi
ll find something here. As you can see, we’ve arranged the men on one side here, and the ladies on the other. Now, let’s take a minute and introduce ourselves.”
One by one, each person told their name, age, where they were from, and what they liked to do. They were not allowed to discuss their career.
“Okay. Now that we know a bit about each other, let’s get to know more. If you look behind you, you will see fifteen tables. Each table has two notepads. Ladies, if you will, please go to the table with your name on it.”
The ladies went to their tables. Samantha went to Table Eight. Brian didn’t even notice those when he was coming to the pool.
“Now, men, I want you each to choose a table and join its lady.”
Each guy got up and sat at a table. Brian leafed through the empty notepad.
“Now, each of you will get ten minutes to get to know your table mate. We’ve provided the notepads so you can take notes about him/her. After ten minutes, the guys will rotate one table to the left. When it is all done, you should have notes on all fifteen. You will need to take notes, and I will explain why afterward. Okay. Start the clock.”
As Brian hopped from table to table, he took a lot of notes about each lady. Samantha also jotted notes on each man as they came and went. As Brian jotted down the last notes on lady fifteen and Samantha jotted down the last notes on her last man, Austin came back.
“Okay. Now that we’ve gotten to know each other even better, I hope that you all took good notes. Each of you will go to your room and choose five of the fifteen. These five will be the only ones you will be able to have final dates with. It is 12:40 now. We will meet back here at five o’clock. Take your time in choosing, because once you’ve made your choices, there’s no changing them.”
As Brian leafed through his notes, one of the other guests had a question.
“Do we both have to pick each other?”
“Yes. Your name must be on her list, and she must be on yours.”
Brian went back to his room to decide which five ladies to choose. When he got there, he saw a folder on his bed. Inside the folder, he found pictures of all fifteen ladies with names on them. A little extra help for his decision.
Without looking at the pictures, he already had two or three in mind. He was not basing his decision on looks, but rather on personality and character. He also had to try to guess who would choose him. With that in mind, he leafed through the folder and eliminated the two most attractive ladies.