Needle up ol’ Ziggy and you’ll find the secret that lies within. From five years and beyond stars do I find absolution but only in suicide is there truth. From the echoes I stare and conjure the odd ways of feeling through these walls. I know I can never be forgiven let alone saved; at least I tried to make something of this prison of life.
IT’S A LONG DRIVE BACK TO YOU AND I SEE YOU ALWAYS WANTED ME TO SUFFER THROUGH. IT’S A LONG CRAWL BACK TO ME. SOLUTIONS ARE DREADED LIES BETWEEN THE SHEETS. DO YOU WANT ME LIKE I WANTED YOU? YOU KNOW IT’S A MISTAKE TO HAVE TREVELLED THIS WAY. IT’S A LONG WALK BACK TO ME AND ALL THE HOPES ARE JUST TIED UP SUFFERING BUT I STILL SEE YOU ALWAYS WANTED ME TO SUFFER THROUGH.
Into the great emptiness and void I watch. They stare back with their dead eyes crying. I can even hear all of the animals laughing all around at me, especially at my stupidity. I try to feel them but when I reach out I only feel the chalk of the mortar. Maybe just maybe I will reach their necks one day.
YOU NEVER SAID I CARED ENOUGH BUT I DUST MYSELF OFF. YOU NEVER WANTED ME CLOSE ENOUGH; EMBARASSED OF US ALL. YOU NEVER SEE YOUR OWN FAULTS, THE FLAWS RUIN THE MESS. THERE’S NO WAY TO BE CONSTANTLY FIGHTING DISTRESS. WHERE ARE YOU NOW, I’LL TRY TO FIX YOU SOMEHOW…WHERE ARE YOU. YOU NEVER WANTED HELP AT ALL. SOMEHOW IT’D WORK OUT. I NEVER SAW YOU FIX IT ONCE; I WISH YOU’D JUST SHOUT. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE THIS WAY. CAN YOU HEAR MY DISTANT SCREAM? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D IGNORE…THAT’S NOT THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. WHERE ARE YOU NOW? I’LL TRY TO FIX YOU SOMEHOW.
I’m coming to the end of all of those faces staring and laughing. I will fly on her wings and come to rest on a different branch. I will perch and find my own way and just stare and laugh as they do. They can’t win, I won’t let them. I’m not far from reaching their flesh and ripping it to shreds. That I do know for sure. You wait and see about all of that mess I’ll make of them. They alone will feel it too just as I have…
COME TO ME MY FALLEN CHILD. I’LL HOLD YOUR HAND BUT JUST FOR AWHILE. STAY AWAKE AND SHAKE THE FIGHT. FEED THE STARES. CONSUME THE NIGHT. IT’S HARD TO SEE YOU AWAKE ALL NIGHT. IT’S HARD TO SHAKE YOU FOR THIS FIGHT. COME TO ME MY FALLEN CHILD. IT’S HARD TO FAKE WHAT IS IDLE? LOOKING THROUGH THE TOP OF THE SKY; LET GO MY HANDS AND JUST FIGHT…
Fight for the reason to breathe that is the way I always think. No matter what, I’ll always fight. I’ll scrape the walls clean of them and never look back. I’ll break their rope that holds me down. That I do know for sure. They’ll try but boy do I have I have a big fight. They will never scar me with their laughter again as I take out their throats. Fly I must.
STAY AWAKE ALL NIGHT FOR A NEW STATE OF MIND. TRANSFER ALL YOUR TEARS TO MAKE ITS MINE. THIS NEW STATE IS WORN LIKE PALE HANDS TURNED WARM. FIGHT THE DISEASE AND TASTE THE WORMS. CONVERSATIONS TURN TO SEEDS MY GOOD FRIENDS. JUST TO ROT AGAIN. MEANING I CAN’T LEAD THIS WAY BEFORE TO BURY IN THE SAND. TURNING HEADS AND TURNING TEETH TWO TIMES. THE FIRST IS THE SAME. IT’S A SHAME. YOU’RE TO BLAME. I WON’T WASTE. YOUR LAST TASTE, YOU RELEASE ME. I’LL PUSH YOU FROM RUNNING AND RUNNING AGAIN. I’LL KEEP YOU FROM RUNNING AND RUNNING AGAIN. I’LL KISS YOU BEFORE YOU RUN AND RUN AGAIN.
I’ll feed the stares right back at them. I’ll use the blood that seeps from their teeth to wash myself anew and bleach the stains clean. Their skin will never taste so sweet again. Their breath will never smell so foul. Their stains will never embed. Their fingers will be erased and scarred. Then the great warmth will rain down on me; reticent.