Secret of the Saans
Copyright 2016 Elizabeth Wyman
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Chapter 1
Aneh
The desert heat was unrelenting, deadening nearly everything in its path. Even the air was forced into whimsical twists and spiraling shapes, making the yellow fields and red rocked cliffs look like they were dancing. The herbs I had so tenderly cared for had long ago surrendered their vigor to the heat, bowing over to touch the ground. Rain had been absent for weeks and we were threatened with wildfire every afternoon with waterless thunderstorms. If any lighting struck nearby, the fields all around us would ignite and we would have to leave our homes, if we were lucky enough to not be burned in our beds.
We worked in the early morning and late evening to conserve energy and water. Sometimes we'd labor into the night, only to rise a few hours later. We passed most of the day in the shade of the porch or napping inside. It was a time for mending broken things and meddling in each other's affairs.
I sat hunched over the very edge of my father's rocking chair, resting my head on my palm and staring blankly into the hot mirage that was our dried up valley. A black cricket the size of my middle finger launched itself into the air, landing on the short stone wall in front of me. I reached down slowly, carefully, to pinch its slick armored body, admiring its resistance to the heat.
"Don't kill it Aneh," My brother Yakeh warned from the chair next to me. His voice was teasing; he sat relaxed with his legs propped up on the stone wall. He'd been quietly mending a basket some mice had been nibbling through. Our dog, Kai, lay plastered to the stone floor. The shade afforded by our small porch hardly provided respite from the heat.
I turned around with the cricket in my hand to look at him, smiling, “Don't worry, I’m not hurting it."
More quickly than I thought he could, Yakeh reached over and grabbed the cricket out of my hand and put the whole thing in his mouth.
“Yakeh!” I cried in disbelief.
For a moment he looked at me wide-eyed, then quickly spit out the cricket into his hands. We burst out into laughter. The sight of the cricket, slobbery and confused, was too much.
I was older than my brother. In spite of his constant silliness, most people mistook him for the elder. Even family friends and relatives sometimes forgot the birth order. "Oh Aneh you just have the face of a very young woman," they'd say before pinching my cheeks and fawning over my brother. "And who is this handsome man?" I'd roll my eyes but they'd never notice, too busy estimating Yakeh's height and inquiring after any adoring girls. We had similar features at least, my mother's high cheekbones and my father's thick curly hair. Both of us had freckles patterning our faces and the dark brown eyes of calves.
After our giggles subsided, Yakeh donned a more serious expression, “When are you going to tell me about meeting with Rhys?"
"I'm not telling you! I’m not telling anyone…because there’s nothing to tell. Besides, only you know that I went.” I said.
"Our parents know, don't be stupid Aneh. You can't be gone all night and think they didn't notice that you'd left."
"How could they know?" I asked almost rhetorically. A part of me knew that they'd discovered what I'd been up to, but I didn't want Yakeh to be right, and I didn't want my parents to know my secret.
It was expected of all youth to meet with Rhys, our village's leader in wisdom. Girls waited years to sit under the heavens and have Rhys read their fate in the stars. They were so eager to know the name of their future partners, when their pairings were, or how healthy and beautiful their children would be. My visit with the village elder was something I had sincerely looked forward to, but I didn’t yearn to know any of these things. In truth, the meeting was serendipitous; it felt almost fateful. I met with Rhys, I learned, and continued to keep all my secrets inside. Out of shame or out of surprise, I am still not sure.
My mother walked out onto the porch, smiling and polishing a wooden bowl with some old cloth scraps. A sturdy woman with a kind heart, my mother always protected me and spoke up when others criticized my boyish nature. Her eyes were knowing, and I could tell from the way she stared into the middle distance that she had overheard what my brother and I had been talking about, yet she said nothing. She just smiled, sighed, and continued looking out with us into the heated valley.
Meanwhile, my thoughts tiptoed back to my meeting with Rhys only a few nights ago. That evening I had been lying in bed, wide awake, thinking. The air in the house was stagnant, contrasting sharply with the myriad thoughts racing through my head. For me, this was not unusual; I had spent so much of my life lost in thought. Normally on nights like these I would roll around until sleep would creep up on me, but not this particular night. Long after Yakeh's breathing had turned to snores and my parents’ voices had become hushed, I snuck out into the clear night air and walked towards the hillside. The slightly cooler air was such a relief; I began walking towards a gully where I knew there would be a slight breeze.
Not long before I had turned down the path, I was startled by the appearance of a short, graying man. His eyes were twinkling beneath the crinkles of his eyelids. He smiled a toothy grin, "Hello, Aneh."
"Hello, Rhys." I looked into his eyes and returned a smile. I shook my head, thinking what a coincidence it was that I should meet Rhys tonight of all nights.
"I was just heading towards my favorite thinking rock. Would you care to join me?" he asked. I nodded in reply and moved to follow him. The walk wasn't far and the view was spectacular. From atop the flat sandstone boulder the canyon walls towered to the north and opened wide to the south to reveal a river of stars above us. From its tiny spot in the sky, the moon could only peek at us through the trees.
“Do you walk often in the night, Aneh?” He asked.
“No, I usually lie in bed when I can’t sleep. But tonight I felt the urge to be outside. I was following the breeze from the gully when I saw you.”
“I know,” he said matter-of-factly. Our encounter suddenly seemed like less of a coincidence, and I felt a bit foolish. It made me wonder how many of my secrets the village elder knew.
"One thing I have always admired about you Aneh, is that you are always looking around, taking in your surroundings. Your observant eye will be very helpful in your life, you know."
I gave him a sideways glance and asked, “You think I’m observant?”
“Oh yes, absolutely. Ever since you were a child you’ve always been infatuated with the world, picking up things, asking questions...your desire to learn is quite enviable.” Admittedly I was both pleased and surprised to hear this. I’d never thought that curiosity was a good thing, at least, that’s what my mother said.
I sat quietly in happy anticipation of Rhys’ next insights.
"The earth is always changing and the more and more I age, the less I feel I know. Where I come from, life changes fast and one has to learn quick. Out here life happens at the same speed as the seasons. Here we even behave like the seasons, growing during some, keeping warm and safe during others. It is such a pleasant life in Koyote, one can be present here and truly enjoy all that life has to give.
“Such small pleasantries, for example, include pairings. And if I’m reading the heavens right my dear Aneh, it looks like it’s time you were paired yourself.”
I left some time later, a lit
tle confused by what Rhys had told me. I spent the walk back trying interpret the experience. It seemed like he was commending me for my curiosity about the world, but also cautioning me to appreciate the life I had always known in Koyote. So little of it was clear.
But the other message that Rhys gave me was all too clear. I learned that I was going to be paired, and that my future partner was Olei. I knew of him from the market and from what the other girls said. Olei the son of the goat farmers. Olei with the crooked teeth, the broad shoulders and the same freckles as mine. Olei who was quiet like the canyons in the heat of the day. I had seen him, but never spoken to him before.
Of all my fantasies, love was not one of them. I had hoped that I might not have to be paired with anyone. But that is not how things work in Koyote: nearly everyone has a mate. It was humbling to know that I was not special and that I would be paired and live a traditional Koyote life. I was not eager to share this news with anyone – least of all my brother. Though he had nothing but the best intentions, I was sure he would spread my secret all about the village.
Though I wasn't fond of Koyote's pairing ritual, I was thankful that women decided when they wanted the village to know about the pairing, and when the pairing would happen. So much of my future was beyond my grasp, but this one thing I could control. As long as I kept quiet, life could proceed as it had. For the time being I was committed to never saying a word.
Throughout the remaining weeks of summer I caught glimpses of Olei at the evening market. It was hard not to. I was curious. More than once I smiled shyly at him. He smiled back, every time. I wondered what he knew and wondered what he thought of me. I was surprised that I cared.
I had never been complimented for beauty before, so I assumed that I had none. What I did have were muscles and wild hair, callused hands and a big mouth. I was different from the other girls my age. They liked to flock together at the market like a bunch of clucking hens. I preferred the company of the canyons, my bees and my thoughts.
It was late one fall morning at the market. The crispness of early morning hours had softened into a mild and comfortably sunny day. Under the shade of a tarpaulin I hovered over honey I had brought to trade, irritated that some green beetles had found their way inside and gotten stuck. My hands got sticky trying to get them out of their sweet grave. Anyone who works with honey knows the best way to clean your hands is to suck on your fingers and I did so without thinking. I turned around, searching, only to find the chest of a man standing very close to me. I looked up.
"Aneh. Hello."
His eyes were light but penetrating, his smile genuine but not full. I wiped my finger on my tunic and smiled.
"Olei. Good to see you." We stood there awkwardly, aware this was our first time speaking to one another. I was looking for any hints that he knew what I knew, not knowing that this was the first of many times we might have to communicate without words. Nervously, I made small talk.
"Your goats, I heard two of the kids died. I'm sorry."
"The little ones struggled in the heat. They had little energy left when the first cold nights set in. There's only so much we can do. I'm not sure how anything survived last summer. How did your chickens do?"
I found myself in a half smile, flattered that he knew about my flock.
“Oh, they’re fine,” I said, unable to contain my excitement, “They’re scrawnier than usual, but healthy. For a while the hens hardly laid any eggs, but now they are laying one a day! We had to eat a couple of the male pullets… have you ever eaten pullet? It’s terrible!”
He laughed at my comment and I let my hair fall into my face. His light eyes were beautiful against his dark skin. He stayed and chatted with me, laughing at my stories and gently touching my hand before leaving. Suddenly I had the urge to tell the village my secret.
Chapter 2
Yossinda
I felt the most peace in the Houses of the Saans. Any of them were really quite lovely, but the one my family and I were entering was my favorite. Some of the Houses had water that was too loud, or flickering stars, or a snoring old man. But in this one, everything was perfect. In here I felt warm, I felt safe.
This was the House where my Mother had come to worship the Elements, praise the Unmarked Ones, and give alms to the Saans. This was the House closest to where my family lived – halfway up the small mountain on which the city of Saansanti was built. From where I stood waiting to enter the House I could see the tall spires of the Blue Citadel, the colorful stained glass windows bright against the gray stones. I smiled knowing that the Five Great Saans – the leaders of my beloved religion, the tamers of the Elements, the voices and faces of the Unmarked Ones – were inside the Citadel.
"Quit fussing," said my sister Yeidi to my little brother Raini. I turned around to see Raini trying to wipe dirt off of his shoes.
"He's not fussing, he's cleaning his shoes," I said to Yeidi.
"Then you take him, see if you think he is cleaning or just being irritating," she replied with sass in her voice.
"I'll take him," my father chimed in, "Come here little man."
My father lifted Raini up with hands reddened from a rough washing. I could still see black grime lining the beds of his nails and tucked into the wrinkled skin.
We walked into the House, the small stained glass windows had cracked underneath the weight of the roof but still held firm. Saan Denys was waiting inside the entryway. He bowed his head and crossed his arms to us as was customary. I returned the gesture with great enthusiasm. Though I was delighted to be here, it was a sad day. Six years ago my mother had passed. My family had come to mourn for her spirit and pray she walked safely in the afterlife with the Unmarked Ones. We gave our monies to the Saans in thanks.
It was a rare and precious thing for my whole family to come to a House together. My sister and father didn't normally go to any Houses whereas I went as much as possible. Being together in a sacred place brought me much joy and peace.
My father kneeled to my right, hugging Raini to his side. I had just combed Raini's' hair before coming to the House and already he had made it dirty. He was only six, and with no memory of our real mother, I was the next best thing. I loved him fiercely and wanted to protect him but we were very poor. At least, unlike many in Saansanti, we were free.
Even living in freedom was difficult in this city, but it was far better than to be a slave. I knew lots of slaves from working with the Domi, the royal family. Sometimes they didn’t have names or tongues or teeth. Their owners tattooed them so their purpose was part of them, and so that they could easily be identified if they tried to run away. My father had a tattoo from when he was a slave, its blue lines blurred with time.
Yeidi, Raini and I would never have to be tattooed. Although, many times I vowed that I would sell my self into slavery before I’d let either of my siblings become slaves. Glancing over at my sister, her hair pulled up into a thick knot at the back of her head, I wondered if she’d do the same for my brother or me.
Yeidi was not as nice to little Raini as I was. She still hated him a little because after his birth, our mother was never really the same. A profound sadness overtook her and only a year or so after Raini was born, she died. I was older and working and couldn't afford to let myself slip with grief. Yeidi did though, and she was still slipping.
My sister was beautiful, the object of many a man's affection. Her hair was a soft gold that flowed over her shoulders, where mine was light, straight and textured like hay. She was amazingly thin and ate whatever she fancied that she could afford while I starved myself to try to look thinner. She let her bust show more than I would ever dare and she flirted with men shamelessly. At times I envied her freedoms, but I had to be like a mother to all of us, not to mention the Saans did not encourage city folk to indulge. A life of little, of giving, of servitude was what we were supposed to live, if we wanted to walk with the Unmarked Ones after this life.
I was pet
rified of the things that men and women did when they were together alone, but Yeidi sought it out. She boasted to her friends about the kinds of men she slept with and the kinds of monies and treasures men would give her for her services. She was friendly with many of the lesser Domi and a few of the guards. I hated the way she let them look at her, like drooling dogs.
Through the corner of my eye I could see her shifting back and forth on her knees, waiting to get stoned again, the fresh coins in her pocket from serving in the Citadel would almost all go the Tinea that she drugged herself with every night. My father didn't know, or pretended not to know. I wanted to tell him, but that would do no good. Instead I was quiet, listening to the readings delivered by a tiny Saan dressed in all blue at the front of the House, a brazier burning brightly by his side. We listened to the creation story.
A Reading from Before the Flood
A million sunshines ago, when the people walked with the Unmarked Ones and saw that they were good, the five Elements lived in harmony: the earth, the aether, the wind, the water and the fire. The union of the Elements was celebrated in the love of the people, who worshipped the good lives the Unmarked Ones had bestowed upon them. People were without worry or work; food was plenty and want was none. Clear waters irrigated the fruitful land, where the air was clean, the sun was warm and the stars were bright at night, silently telling stories of the Unmarked Ones to the curious minds of the humans.
The people began naming themselves. They took names that were like the Elements, to show their respect for the material and their undying love for the ethereal that they represented. Their names were Aethan for the Aether, and Terro for the Wind. Kote was for the Earth, Obith for the Fire, Reas for Water. They named themselves and their kin and called each other as they wanted to be called.
Aethan was just and fair and wanted others to be treated as he was. In this, he sought to call the Unmarked Ones by name. "And what may I know you as, my brothers and sisters, so that we can share with each other our lives and our stories and grow forever in the glory of this world?"