This book is purely a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents contained within this body of work are not related to or portraying anyone living or dead. Any similarities are purely coincidental.
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Soul Cry
( The Ten Year Girlfriend )
* * * *
“ The quickest way to get a mans attention,
is to no longer want it.”
Los Angeles
My mouth turned down into a frown I was positive was noticeable by every other passenger boarding the Greyhound bus along with me this morning. I was sure of it. Damn! It smells like feet ,ass and corn chips on this damn bus! I’m scared to sit down, I thought taking a quick glance down at my ticket to confirm my seat number. This is a damn shame I’m even on a bus. Me? Amina Johnson? Here I am 29 years old and as hard as I’ve worked all my life,I'm leaving it all behind. Hey, I reminded myself, no use in complaining. I need to save every dime I have until I get on my feet. I know my family is going to think it's stupid as hell of me to leave with nothing after ten years being with Roderick, but I'd rather start over than have any ties with him. I didn't have the energy to fight with him over material things. Besides, he's the one who made the real money and his name was all over everything. My credit was pristine so it didn't bother me to start over. I just needed to save, be smart concerning my money and I'd be okay. Shit times are hard. Even the quote I got for a one way plane ticket to Cleveland,Ohio would have thinned my pockets considerably. I didn't want to take any chances . I may be used to some of the finer things life had to offer but I still thought of myself as down to earth. I wasn't above riding a bus. My savings was going to need to last me awhile until I was able to get on my feet. I knew damn well that even though my sister said I could come stay with her,she wasn't trying to totally support me. I gave myself no more than two months of living with her before we came to blows. The same way we did as teenagers. I knew my life was going to change drastically once I made the decision to leave Roderick. From the very day I met him he'd taken care of my every financial need. It came with a price I was tired of paying though. Now here it is ten years later. The concept of paying my own bills, rent or a mortgage, a car note was completely foreign to me now. It had been a long time since my days of sharing an apartment with my best-friend Katrina. It didn't matter though. I was more than willing to start at the bottom and build myself back up for the sake of my mental well-being. My self-esteem had been kicked around enough. Staying with Roderick was like being in emotional hell.
I tossed my Birkin bag into the empty seat next to mine and slid down in my seat praying to the heavens above no one sat their ass next to me. Hell I'm going through it right now. Let me at least ride to my sisters home with my tail between my legs in peace. Please Lord, all I’m asking of you today is to let me have a quiet ride to Cleveland and not have someone sitting next to me trying to talk my damn ear off. I can’t deal with it today. Please and thank you…amen, I thought to myself rolling my eyes upwards. Exactly two week ago I had made the decision to pick myself up and finally leave Roderick’s sorry ass.
Enough was enough.
It had taken me a long time to come to the realization that I was in an abusive relationship. Ten years too long. Granted I didn't walk around with cracked ribs and trying to camouflage black eyes,but make no mistake about it, I was in an abusive relationship and it was time for me to leave. Once I really made up my mind to leave, nothing he said could keep me there. I needed to stop lying to myself . It's more like everything he said to me could make me stay. Roderick's silver tongue spilled nothing but lies whenever I confronted him about his abusive,demeaning ways towards me. He had a way of making me feel everything he said or did to me was brought on by my actions. So I called myself after ten years, taking the bull by the horns. I’d quit my job and called my sister Amaya in Cleveland asking if she'd be willing to take me in for awhile.
Moving out of the home I’d shared with Roderick the last ten years of my life wouldn’t come close to putting the distance between us that I so badly craved. My father who lived in San Diego tried to convince me to come there but that was still too close. My spirit couldn't take another hit. I needed Roderick Thomas completely out of my system and based on our history….a sista like me was going to have to leave state to do it. I hoped that old saying was true. Out of sight out of mind, because if it wasn’t…I was screwed.
After all, this wasn’t the first time I’d attempted to leave Roderick. I had called myself packing my bags and ending our relationship many times but all it took was a few slick words out of Roderick’s sexy mouth and I was right back at his side. Regardless of how much pain he’d caused me. I never lasted more than two or three days away from him. The long and short of it was I loved him. I hadn't fallen out of love with him. It just took ten long years to finally realize nothing about our relationship was going to change. This time had to be different. After all of these years it finally dawned on me that Roderick was never going to leave me. It also didn't mean he was going to stop all the emotional abuse and marry me either. I could feel a fresh round of hot tears spilling down my cheeks.
Shit! I can’t be out in public breaking down like this, I thought pulling a Kleenex out of my purse to wipe my face. It’s a good thing I decided not to wear any makeup today or I’d really be looking like a damn fool the way I'd been breaking down all morning. I noticed the bus slowly but surely filling to capacity. I decided to help my prayers to God along and cross my fingers and my toes that the two seats beside me remained empty. I had an aisle seat which was good in case I needed to move around but heaven forbid I had someone sit next to me whose personal hygiene wasn’t up to snuff.
An abrasive male voice came over the loud speaker alerting passengers we would be leaving in the next ten minutes.
Good! If anyone was coming for these seats they would have been here by now,I thought closing my eyes ready to get some much needed sleep. The last two weeks had been hell for me trying to pack all my clothing and shoes undercover all while handling my personal business before I took off. Lucky for me I didn’t have to do it alone, my best friend Katrina had held me down. Though truth be told, I think she was so helpful to me because since the day I met Roderick ,she’s been trying to get me to leave his ass.
“ Shavon here we go! Next time remind me not to ever let your cousin JuJu give us a damn ride! Hell we almost missed the damn bus! Excuse me miss…these are our seats next to you can we squeeze on in here please?”
I gripped the seat handle as my eyes flew open. Goddamn it! I should have known it was too good to be true. That something as simple as not being bothered could go my way for once. Not only would one person be sitting next to me but TWO. I pasted a fake grin on my face and stood up from my seat as I moved into the aisle while the two woman placed their bags in the seats before them and settled into their seats.
Lord have mercy! Why do these two have to be friends? At least if they were strangers they’d shut the hell up. Since they know each other, there's no chance of that happening. These hoes have probably been friends since the damn third grade. They’ll be yip-yapping all the way to Cleveland!
“ Oohh girl, well I guess we should introduce ourselves since we’re in for a long ride to
gether. I’m Shavon and this is my home-girl LaDaya.” the woman said grinning showing all 32 teeth, the front two of which were gold. Damn! I didn’t even realize folks were still wearing gold in their mouth like that, I thought.
Awww hell nah! You don't have to introduce yourself!Just sit down and shut up.
“ Nice to meet you, I’m Amina.” I said trying to steady my voice. I didn't want to sound too friendly. You can't even be nice to people nowadays....they'll try and talk too damn long,I thought to myself.
Her friend LaDaya quickly spoke up.
“It's so nice to meet you Amina,that's a pretty name.”
“ Thank you.” I replied crisply.
“ Well girl trust me when I say, we’ll have a good ride because I plan on getting me some sleep! We ripped and ran these streets so hard these last few days. I need to start my rest now. Besides, I need to have a little energy once we hit Cleveland because the way my man is blowing up my phone, he missed me something terrible! So you already know mama gon’ have to put it on him the minute we get home!” Shavon said cackling loudly adjusting her overflowing cleavage.
“ You already know! That man loves the hell out of you!” her friend LaDaya quickly added plopping down in the middle seat.
Now I know God don’t like ugly but I couldn’t stop myself from silently appraising my two travel mates.
Shavon AKA Goldie was a chocolate sista rocking a golden blond lace-front wig. She was built like a brick-house and clearly knew it. Her ass stood at attention showcasing her voluptuous assets in a pair of dark rinsed, skin-tight, low cut jeans that displayed her flat stomach. The cut-off white t-shirt cupped her plentiful,heavy breasts. Shavon was an attractive woman but the blond lace-front and the gold teeth had to go! Quick fast and in a damn hurry.
There was hope for Shavon, her friend LaDaya was a different story. She was a hot, hood mess! From the too small bra that gave her the appearance for having four titties. Not to mention the overflowing gut that she had squeezed into a pair of hot pink skinny jeans. The unsightly,wide gap between her two front teeth gave her mouth the appearance of a slot machine. LaDaya had a head full of finger waves…if you could still call them waves because they were in dire need of being redone. The most complimentary features about her were a matching set of dimples in both cheeks and she did have a smooth honey toned complexion.
STOP IT AMINA! I silently chastised myself. This might be why I have bad luck in love. Talking about folks. They seem nice enough so let me just make the most of this. After all, they did say they wanted to nap as well.
It was about 11:30 am when we finally pulled out of Los Angeles. Good riddance. I can’t lie. I loved L.A and would damn sure miss the shopping, nightlife and some of the close friends I’d made in the years I’d lived there but at this point in my life, it was all about self preservation. I knew I needed a change. I had to put as many miles between Roderick Jabri Thomas and myself as possible. I pulled out my Beats by Dre headphones, cued the Lianne La Havas and drifted off to sleep, tuning out as much of the outside noise as I could.