Stand-In Wife
New York Times Bestselling Author
Debbie Macomber
Paul Manning, a grieving widower with three small children, turns to Leah Baker for help and comfort. When that comfort begins to grow into something else, Paul discovers that he wants more than a Stand-In Wife.
Other titles by Debbie Macomber now available wherever Harlequin ebooks are sold:
Blossom Street Books
The Shop on Blossom Street
A Good Yarn
Susannah’s Garden
Back on Blossom Street
Twenty Wishes
Summer on Blossom Street
Hannah’s List
The Knitting Diaries: “The Twenty-First Wish”
A Turn in the Road
Cedar Cove Books
16 Lighthouse Road
204 Rosewood Lane
311 Pelican Court
44 Cranberry Point
50 Harbor Street
6 Rainier Drive
74 Seaside Avenue
8 Sandpiper Way
92 Pacific Boulevard
1022 Evergreen Place
A Cedar Cove Christmas (5-B Poppy Lane and Christmas in Cedar Cove)
1105 Yakima Street
1225 Christmas Tree Lane
Dakota Series
Dakota Born
Dakota Home
Always Dakota
The Manning Family
The Manning Sisters
The Manning Brides
The Manning Grooms
Christmas Books
A Gift to Last
On a Snowy Night
Home for the Holidays
Glad Tidings
Christmas Wishes
Small Town Christmas
When Christmas Comes (now retitled Trading Christmas)
There’s Something About Christmas
Christmas Letters
Where Angels Go
The Perfect Christmas
Angels at Christmas (Those Christmas Angels and Where Angels Go)
Call Me Mrs. Miracle
Heart of Texas Series
VOLUME 1 (Lonesome Cowboy and Texas Two-Step)
VOLUME 2 (Caroline’s Child and Dr. Texas)
VOLUME 3 (Nell’s Cowboy and Lone Star Baby)
Promise, Texas
Return to Promise
Midnight Sons
VOLUME 1 (Brides for Brothers and The Marriage Risk)
VOLUME 2 (Daddy’s Little Helper and Because of the Baby)
VOLUME 3 (Falling for Him, Ending in Marriage and Midnight Sons and Daughters)
This Matter of Marriage
Montana
Thursdays at Eight
Between Friends
Changing Habits
Married in Seattle (First Comes Marriage and Wanted: Perfect Partner)
Right Next Door (Father’s Day and The Courtship of Carol Sommars)
The Man You’ll Marry (The First Man You Meet and The Man You’ll Marry)
Orchard Valley Grooms (Valerie and Stephanie)
Orchard Valley Brides (Norah and Lone Star Lovin’)
The Sooner the Better
An Engagement in Seattle (Groom Wanted and Bride Wanted)
Debbie Macomber’s Cedar Cove Cookbook
Debbie Macomber’s Christmas Cookbook
To Lucy Beckstead
Thank you for showing me the way,
then taking me by the hand and guiding me there
In Memory of Kim Gonzalez;
and for Tyler, who will never know his mother
Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
About the Author
Prologue
The morning was bleak, the sky, gray and overcast. The phone call from the hospital woke Paul Manning from a sound sleep—his first decent sleep since his daughter, Kelsey Diane, was born seventy-two hours earlier. Because of toxemia, his wife, Diane, had been placed in intensive care as a precaution.
Things quickly got worse, however, complicated by the fact that Diane had been born with only one kidney. Generally the toxins disappeared from the mother’s body following birth, but in Diane’s case that hadn’t happened. Instead they’d attacked her liver and kidney, and before Paul fully realized the seriousness of her condition, she’d slipped into a coma. Paul and Diane’s sister, Leah, had held a vigil at her side. After two days Dr. Charman had sent them home, promising to contact Paul if there was any change. Now he had.
“Could you come to the hospital?” he asked.
“What’s wrong?” Paul demanded, frightened by the weariness in the physician’s voice.
“It’d be best if you came to the hospital. I’ll explain everything once you’re here.”
* * *
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
A half hour later Paul Manning was shouting the words in his mind, but not a sound passed his lips. He was overwhelmed by pain, disbelief, shock—they punched him viciously, knocking the wind from his lungs. Dizzy and weak, he slumped into the hospital chair.
“We did everything we could,” Dr. Charman murmured, his voice subdued with defeat.
Women gave birth…but they didn’t die from it. Not in this day and age. Not when they were at one of the best medical facilities in the country.
The pregnancy had begun in a completely routine manner; Diane had never seemed healthier. Then, in the eighth month, she’d developed toxemia. Paul hadn’t been too concerned, blithely unaware of how deadly her condition would prove to be.
Diane had suffered from toxemia during her first pregnancy, too, and everything had turned out all right. The twins had been born six weeks premature, but the toxemia hadn’t been life-threatening to either her or the boys.
“Is there someone you’d like me to call?”
Paul glanced up and shook his head. He didn’t want his family just yet. For now he needed to grieve alone. “I’d like to be with her for a few minutes if I could.”
Dr. Charman nodded and led the way down the quiet corridor to Diane’s room. Paul’s heart was pounding savagely, his head whirling, his legs unsteady. He felt as though he was in a nightmare, and he prayed someone would wake him up.
Dr. Charman opened the door and stepped aside. “I’ll wait for you here,” he said.
Paul nodded, surprised by the sudden calm that enveloped him. He hadn’t expected to feel serenity. Not when the grief, the guilt and pain, were crushing his heart.
The first thing he noticed was that all the tubes had been disconnected. His wife’s face glowed with a beauty that transcended anything he’d ever known. For a moment he was sure Dr. Charman had made a mistake, that Diane was only sleeping.
He remembered the first time he’d met Diane six years earlier. He’d been in the army, stationed in Alaska, and she’d come up for the summer to work in a cannery. He was nearly thirty and she was barely twenty-one. Paul had taken one look at her, and it was as if his heart had stopped. He’d fallen in love a dozen times before, but no woman had ever affected him the way Diane Baker had. By the end of the summer, she’d decided to drop out of college and marry him.
They’d talked for hours on end, planning their future. Paul’s degree was in journalism, but he intended to be a novelist one day. Diane read his work, built up his confidence, convinced him he’d sell his stories. Through the years her belief in him remained unwavering.
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Six months after they were married she was pregnant. When she had Ryan and Ronnie, Paul thought his heart would burst with pride. He had a family of his own now. A wife he adored and two sons. Twin sons.
Then, a year ago Diane had decided she wanted a little girl. Paul would’ve preferred to wait, space out their family, get the boys in school first. But Diane had been adamant. She’d wanted another baby. They’d argued about it, but in the end she’d convinced him. Actually, he used to joke, it was a sheer black nightie that had convinced him. The truth was, he’d never been able to refuse his wife. She was his whole world—and now she was gone.
Paul looked down at her and his heart felt the heaviness of grief. The emptiness. What would he do without Diane? How could he possibly face life without her?
Diane was at peace, but Paul was in turmoil.
The anguish rose in his throat until it escaped in a low moan. Gripping the railing of the hospital bed, he closed his eyes and felt his body rock with grief.
A sound outside the room caught his attention and he turned, recognizing Leah’s voice. Leah, Diane’s sister.
The two women had always been close, and it didn’t surprise him that she was here. Moving from his wife’s side, he opened the door to find a stricken Leah pleading with Dr. Charman.
“Paul?” She shifted her imploring gaze to him. “I woke up. Something told me to come to the hospital…right then…not to wait. I’d only been home a few hours.”
Paul nodded. He hadn’t been asleep long himself.
“I can’t believe this,” she sobbed. “Not Diane…” She covered her mouth, and her shoulders shook with the pain of a loss that went soul deep.
Paul opened his arms to her, and Leah walked into his embrace, but he didn’t know who was comforting whom.
He needed her and she needed him.
One
Kelsey’s weak cry stirred Paul from his light sleep. He blinked and rubbed a hand down his weary face. The midnight feedings were the worst, especially on Friday nights.
Life had fallen into a dismal pattern in the six months since Diane’s funeral. He’d never worked harder in his life. Keeping up with the kids and the house and his job left room for little else. The demands seemed endless.
His family had pitched in to help every way they could. Between his mother and his sister-in-law he was managing, especially with his mother taking the kids every weekday, shuttling the boys to preschool and picking them up.
Kelsey cried again, and Paul threw aside his covers and sat on the edge of the bed. Blindly, he searched with his feet for his slippers, then stood and pulled on his robe.
Kelsey’s crib was in his room, and he automatically reached for her, placing her against his shoulder.
“Just a minute, sweetheart,” he said, walking around the room until he’d located a freshly laundered diaper on top of the dresser.
Bless Leah. He didn’t know what he’d do if she hadn’t taken over the laundry. With so many extra medical expenses, plus the cost of the funeral, he couldn’t afford a diaper service or even disposables, or, at least, not as many as he needed. At night he used the old-fashioned kind, often going through two or three. So every afternoon on her way home from teaching at the college, Leah came by to prepare dinner and start the laundry. He wouldn’t have survived the past few months without Leah and his mother.
He deftly changed Kelsey’s wet diaper while her bottle was heating in the microwave. He was getting fairly good at this diapering business. Early in his married life, Paul had teased Diane that she could have as many children as she wanted as long as she was the one who dealt with the messy diapers. Now changing diapers, like so many other tasks, had become his alone.
Settling in the rocking chair with Kelsey, Paul carefully touched the nipple to her lips. The baby’s tiny mouth parted, and she sucked hungrily.
He brushed the soft blond wisps of hair from her sweet face. How grateful he was that Kelsey had been born healthy. Diane had wanted a little girl so badly. An ultrasound early in the pregnancy had told them that she was to have her wish. Paul hadn’t cared one way or the other, but Diane had been overjoyed at the prospect of a daughter.
Paul had been with her when Kelsey was born. Because there’d been so much concern about Diane’s condition, they’d immediately handed Kelsey to him. Despite everything that had happened since, he remembered the surge of love and pride he’d experienced holding his newborn daughter that first time.
It wasn’t Kelsey’s fault that her birth had cost Diane her life. Not once had Paul thought to blame her. Who was there to accuse? God? Fate? Life?
Paul didn’t know. He’d given up looking for answers. There wasn’t enough time or energy left in a day. Not when he had to deal with the reality of raising three motherless children, aged four and less than a year.
Once Kelsey had finished the bottle, Paul held her over his shoulder again and rubbed her back. Gently rocking back and forth, he closed his eyes. He’d rest for a few minutes…he told himself.
Just a few minutes…
* * *
Saturday morning, when Leah let herself into the house that had once been her sister’s, she found her brother-in-law asleep in the rocking chair, his arms cradling Kelsey.
She hesitated, not wanting to disturb him. He’d been so tired lately. They both had.
Too tired to grieve.
Too tired to do anything more than simply function, taking one step at a time, dragging from one day to the next. Moving forward, because they had no choice.
Even now, six months after her sister’s death, Leah had trouble accepting the permanence of the situation. More often than she could count, Leah expected Diane to come into the room, bringing her warm smile and effervescent personality. How empty life felt without her. Empty for her.
For Paul.
For the children.
Then some days it was as if Diane was actually there. At the oddest times Leah could almost feel her sister standing beside her, thanking her for helping, for encouraging Paul.
And then there was the dream.
Leah had never told her brother-in-law about it. She’d never told anyone. It had come the night Diane died.
Paul and Leah had been at the hospital with her sister for three days, and there hadn’t been any change in Diane’s condition. Dr. Charman had insisted they both go home and get some sleep. Nothing was likely to happen for some time yet, he’d told them. Paul had been as reluctant to leave as Leah had, but in the end they’d both agreed.
Leah had gone to her apartment, showered and fallen into bed. She’d slept deeply, and in her dream Diane had come to her, walking through a field of wildflowers. She was barefoot and happy. Then she’d stood under a flowering magnolia tree and looked at Leah. A brilliant white light had settled above her. Diane had smiled into the light, and although Leah couldn’t hear what her sister was saying, it had seemed to her that Diane was requesting a few more minutes. She’d then turned from the radiant light and smiled at Leah.
Holding a daisy, plucking at the petals, she’d told Leah how sorry she was to leave her, to leave Paul and the children. Leah had tried to interrupt, but Diane had stopped her. Her sister had explained how hard she’d battled to live, then said she’d come to understand that there was a greater wisdom in accepting death.
The problem, she whispered, was that she couldn’t freely give up her life with Paul and Leah holding on to her the way they were. Holding her back. The strength of their love and their will kept her with them, prevented her from dying. It was the reason they’d been sent home. Once they were gone, she would be free.
Leah had tried to argue with her, but Diane had smiled serenely and shaken her head, claiming there wasn’t enough time. She’d spoken quickly, pointing out to Leah that Paul and the children would need her help. Looking directly into Leah’s eyes, she’d smiled again and asked if Leah would be willing to take her place. Leah hadn’t understood then and wasn’t sure she did now, but in the end
she’d promised to do whatever was needed.
The next instant Leah had awakened. For a confused moment she’d lain there in bed, certain it had all been a dream. Only a dream. Yes, Diane was at the hospital and it was true that her condition was serious, but her sister wasn’t going to die. No one had even mentioned the possibility. Quickly Leah had gotten out of bed and rushed back to the hospital to discover that Paul was already there with Dr. Charman.
Her sister was gone.
* * *
The dream had haunted Leah for months. She’d kept her promise to Diane and was doing everything she could to help Paul with the children, but it seemed so little.
To his credit, Paul was holding up well. He was such a good father. But Leah wondered how much longer he’d be able to continue under the strain. All along, he’d been the strong one, reassuring her, reassuring his children, his parents and everyone else.
Leah didn’t know how he did it. But she was grateful. His confidence was the glue that held everything together. It kept them all going—Leah, his family, everyone who was trying to help. Paul’s mother took the children during the day. The cost of day care for three preschoolers was outrageous. When Paul told Leah the quotes he’d gotten from several child-care facilities, she’d thought he was joking. He couldn’t survive financially paying those fees.
Because Paul’s hours at the newspaper often stretched past six o’clock, Leah had gotten into the habit of picking up Kelsey and the boys at his mother’s place on her way home from the college, where she taught math. Since the kids were invariably hungry, she’d start dinner. She’d also run a load or two of laundry and do whatever else she could to lighten Paul’s obligations.
For six months they’d all worked together, more or less coping with everything that needed to be done. Leah, however, was growing concerned. Elizabeth Manning was a wonderful woman, but she hadn’t been responsible for small children in many years, and the demands of caring for three of them were beginning to take their toll. Not only that, the older Mannings had been planning a trip to Montana to visit Paul’s two sisters. Christy was pregnant with her first child, and Elizabeth Manning was hoping to be with her youngest daughter for the birth of her child.