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The Beginnings of Freedom

  by Toby L. Jackson

  Copyright 2013 Toby L. Jackson

  To my wife Paula; Without her, love in this world would remain undefined.

  Contents:

  Beginnings of Freedom

  Softly

  Solitude

  How Sweet is Love

  Without Sails

  Horses

  Love, the Raging, Rushing River and I

  I Go My Way Alone

  Tossing Oneself Off

  Youth

  Always Calling

  Apartheid (A Vision)

  Casey, Does Your Mother Know?

  These Eyes

  If I Should Die Tonight

  Louise Lake

  The First Touch of Snow

  Accidentally Stepping Off

  Turmoil

  Uninvited, Impatient

  Few Are Those Who Cry

  Enchanted Rock

  A Partial List

  For Catrina

  Epitaph

  Jill

  He Loves the Sun

  Dana

  For Every Life

  Beyond the Breaking Day (Variation#2)

  Lesser Creatures

  Just a List

  Natural Man #1

  For Loves Desire

  Quiet Desperation

  Lovers

  Sleep Comes Hard

  Natural Man #2

  Sonnet, the First

  The Hand of Man

  Always There Is a Cost

  These Eyes (A Daydream)

  Sonnet #2 (I Love You)

  To Stephen Crane

  Beginnings of Freedom

  Hate, fear, ignorance...

  They are part of me.

  They are part of us all;

  Yet,

  The truth must be seen.

  Heat, fear, ignorance...

  They shame us, destroy us.

  They have traveled with us through our history

  And will travel with us to our destiny;

  Yet,

  The truth remains and must be seen.

  Softly

  Soft and slowly sailing,

  To the miles of blinding bright.

  While alone my heart is aching,

  For the downy falling white.

  Solitude

  When solitude is upon me

  A crowd will only crowd me

  A dream will only torment me

  A love will only leave me

  And solitude is always upon me.

  How Sweet is Love

  We tend, of late, to dream the same.

  I can see it in your eyes

  And feel it deep within my own heart.

  Still, we are both afraid that what’s begun

  So soon, must end.

  Do not fear my love,

  For lovers have had less of time than we.

  Already we feel the pain

  And oh! How sweet is love…

  Without Sails

  Today I am a ship without sails

  Tossed about;

  No motion to drive the keel,

  No color among the riggings,

  No shade from the oppressive sun

  And no hope for the crew.

  Again, today, I am without you.

  Back to T of C

  Horses

  Thundering herds of horses

  White and gray

  Against the sand.

  Leaving trails of hoof prints

  Where they ran.

  Love, the Raging, Rushing River and I

  I stand here; on the bank of a raging,

  Rushing river and know full well that my desire

  Lies waiting on the other side.

  So I set myself to work,

  Building a bridge from the sticks

  And trees and vines which are scattered about.

  Since I have no gift for building bridges

  The work is slow, so painfully slow,

  And the goal so very near.

  Still to trade caution for speed

  Could send the bridge and my dreams

  Crashing into the swift water, lost forever.

  So I work here; on the bank of the raging,

  Rushing river and shout oaths of love to my desire,

  Oaths which are lost in the sounds of the rumbling water.

  I Go My Way Alone

  I go my way alone,

  Into the darkened paths of life,

  Waist deep in truths and truer lies,

  I gather flies.

  Tossing Oneself Off

  He was very young and confused.

  Frustrated, as many are,

  By our ultra-complex society.

  Searching the good and the bad

  Of the city for a direction to call his own.

  In desperation he jumped from a nearby bridge.

  And while he was falling to the relief of death

  Sailed so gently downward

  That he felt an inner peace.

  A peace which was so very worth living for!

  Youth

  Take me past the gravestones

  Of judges and of scribes

  Of all the ancient scholars

  That so surely shape your lives.

  For their attitude alone, assures

  That time is on my side.

  Back to T of C

  Always Calling

  Uncontrolled and quickly falling

  All alone and always calling

  For some way to stop the falling.

  Then, the one below you falling

  Sees the ground and stops his calling.

  Now you hear him crying, crying!

  For the ground below him lying

  Knows the time is soon for dying.

  Knows it’s time to stop the crying

  And waits for him to do the dying.

  Apartheid (A Vision)

  I see a black man

  Lying still as a corpse on

  The cool stones of the temple floor.

  Vowing to neither accept nor resist

  Anything from this world until

  His god arrives to set him free.

  He refuses all.

  But the priests of the temple become impatient

  With his lamenting; so they beat him with heavy rods,

  Bind his feet, then cast him down the many stairs

  Of the temple to the street.

  Having been unwilling to enter the temple

  God meets the man there

  And walks with him to the funeral.

  The man’s kin grieve and rage at the injustice.

  They chant, dance, carry banners

  And all return home very tired.

  Then god leads the man down a long road worn smooth;

  To a shady spot where they sit in comfortable chairs,

  Pour cool wine; greet the many travelers as they pass

  And await the priests of the temple.

  Casey, Does Your Mother Know?

  Casey, does your mother know?

  From long cold days

  Or chilling stone,

  How long it takes to feel alone.

  And Casey, could your mother know?

  From one quick smile

  Or long last word,

  How quickly her soft voice was heard.

  So on some dark, sullen day

  When love is lost

  Or gone away.

  When your mother’s heart longs for decay.

  Whisper softly,

  Whisper dear

  That you will always be so near.

  Then remind her of some long last word

  And how quickly her soft voice is heard.

  These Eyes

/>   They’ve held me here for hours now,

  Soft as an autumn sky and sweet,

  These eyes that hypnotize and cheat

  Me so of time!

  If I Should Die Tonight

  If I should die tonight

  Lay my body in the morning light

  And as the eyes of love kneel weeping;

  Raining tears upon my sleeping,

  Be glad at least I lived to see

  The smiling eyes of love,

  Smiling for me!

  Back to T of C

  Louise Lake

  Grey and close.

  A light rain moves in, a chill.

  The misty forest is attentive

  As she examines the beauty of the lake…

  A young girl reflected on the water;

  Frail, small footprints in the sand

  And the faint sound of weeping on the wind

  Like a pitiful cry from the past…

  Her loneliness becomes this place

  And she is warmed by it.

  The crisis is passed and soon

  A willow sprouts where she has stood…

  The First Touch of Snow

  As the first touch of snow lies

  Upon the tree covered hilltops.

  Time stands still in the smoky mountains

  And we brace ourselves

  For the chilling winds of winter.

  Huddling together before the fire

  Content to be warmed by its heat

  And our love for each other.

  Content as time stands still...

  Accidentally Stepping Off

  Deeper into the abyss he falls,

  Each moment brings new terror

  And the muffled echo as he calls

  Punctuates his error!

  Turmoil

  Depression, Power

  And lack of Power…

  Fear or gain?

  All the implications of

  Action or inaction…

  Living or not living?

  Day to day, year to year…

  Stagnation or aggression?

  Indecision

  Frustration

  Pain…

  Uninvited, Impatient

  Walking along; with a cold,

  Kind of lonely feeling, I meet a young woman.

  As we walk together she tells me of the warm,

  Comfortable fire waiting at her home…

  I want very much to rush in,

  Uninvited, impatient as ever.

  Back to T of C

  Few Are Those Who Cry

  Wide and deep the chasm grows

  And on my carcass feed the crows.

  Still, he with open eyes

  Can see beyond the empty skies

  And me.

  Soon his flesh will know the flies,

  So free the vision of his eyes.

  All that lives, is all that dies

  And few are those who cry.

  Enchanted Rock

  I made the short climb

  To the windswept granite summit

  And stood looking deep into a bright spring sky,

  My thoughts turned inward…

  Suddenly a little voice spoke;

  “Look far; far beyond the horizon.”

  “Beyond the mountains and clouds.”

  “Beyond the sky itself, to the magic of the future!”

  So I turned my eyes to see the ‘morrow:

  Enchained by my own sorrows

  Imprisoned by a love that’s never lived…

  Sitting now, I let my head hang,

  Turning my eyes to the granite.

  While the voice

  Gives out a little chuckle

  And moves on…

  A Partial List

  A partial list:

  Grace, music, tenderness,

  Understanding, beauty, faith,

  Gentleness, love, devotion,

  Kindness, poetry, and light...

  A partial list,

  Of that which she could have taught me.

  If only we would have had a lifetime,

  Instead of two short months.

  For Catrina

  Light will fill the darkness

  As a small child rushes to greet you…

  For her, a smile

  Will be returned with a smile.

  For her kindness

  Will be returned with kindness.

  For her, Love is the only reward for love

  And all she asks of the world.

  And all my tension fades before the glow

  Of that small gleaming smile.

  For she is the image

  Of the beauty and innocence

  I pray that my own daughter will possess.

  Epitaph

  Make use of youth

  For time does fly

  And hear my body

  My dreams must lie.

  Back to T of C

  Jill

  Soft and white,

  Young and bright,

  With love for life.

  Helplessly hoping,

  Her heart,

  For my heart, will come running.

  He Loves the Sun

  Rolling gently in the face of a north wind

  We move slowly across the smooth terrain,

  Never passing hill or hole.

  Never gaining speed but always going faster.

  The mountains and trees are out of sight,

  Never near our path of smoothness.

  The clouds above give beauty, please us and make us sick.

  As we keep rolling up the years

  Toward another mile of smooth terrain.

  Always reaching for the crutches that keep us on our feet.

  At least in our minds they do.

  Crutches, for whatever reason, to lean on.

  Rolling, stumbling, stuttering.

  Steadily moving across this space.

  Maybe a very small space of time

  Thank God, thank someone

  We won’t be here forever.

  Who knows, perhaps we will.

  Dana

  Her eyes are softer

  Than a golden field of grain.

  Her tears are warmer

  Than a misty summer rain.

  Her smile, more beautiful

  Than a soaring ocean crane.

  Her heart, my heart and the rain.

  For Every Life

  For every decision

  There is an equal indecision.

  For every wakeful moment

  There is an equal moment of sleep.

  For every good

  There is an equal bad.

  For every poem

  In time; there will be a tune,

  For every sun, a moon.

  And love is how you look at things,

  And being calm is easy.

  For every man, no doubt, there is a woman.

  And for every life there is a tragic death.

  Beyond the Breaking Day (Variation#2)

  There beyond the lifting gloom

  Lies the breaking day;

  And as these lovers sweat,

  And swoon,

  The moon slides quietly away.

  Breathing softly tender words

  That I so long to say;

  These two lovers sweat,

  And swoon,

  Another impassioned day away.

  Back to T of C

  Lesser Creatures

  The sea rushes to the shore.

  The light to darkness.

  So men, with perpetual monotony,

  Must rush to ambition.

  And the lesser may yet become the greater

  As ambition blinds.

  Just a List

  The tears that I’ve so long forgotten.

  The dreams no longer dreamed.

  To dance and enjoy myself.

  The morning sun.

  The warmth of your skin on mine.

  Natural Man #1

/>   As day must come from night,

  So light must come from darkness

  And beginnings be born of endings.

  Maturity from the chaos of childishness

  And the realization of your conformity

  From your desire, above all, not to conform.

  For Loves Desire

  Through the city’s crowds we travelled different paths

  And became lost in a heated search for loves desire.

  Lost within the fires of our youthful passion.

  Frustrated by desires which did no good

  As strangers filled our lives and

  Our empty passion for a moment.

  A moment that we knew could never last:

  A moment that could never last,

  For loves desire.

  Quiet Desperation

  Have you ever felt like,

  A piece of gum,

  Stuck on the bottom of someone’s shoe?

  He walks and runs,

  From there to here,

  From here to there.

  And because he does not seem to care

  You’re crushed and stretched

  A thousand times each day.

  And the good times are only the weight of the shoe,

  When he doesn’t have his foot in it.

  Back to T of C

  Lovers

  How close these sweetest lovers are

  Arm in arm

  And heart to heart.

  As though the two had travelled far

  To mingle here and never part.

  Sleep Comes Hard

  Sleep comes hard these days

  To we who spend our time alone.

  As ambition forces us to wait

  And grow beyond the thrills of childhood.

  Searching for that emotion

  Which allows old age and death

  To move toward us; without fear or regret.

  And sleep comes hard these days

  To we who sleep alone.

  As ambition forces us to wait

  And grow beyond the thrills of adolescence.

  Searching for that emotion

  Which allows the many years

  To pass us; without fear or regret.

  And sleep comes hard these days

  To we who do not have to be alone.

  As ambition forces us to wait

  And grow beyond the thrills of impatience.

  Searching for that emotion

  Which allows each single moment

  To enrich us; without fear or regret.

  Natural Man #2

  He waits in the shadows

  Until the lights grow dim

  For only then may he reveal his true self

  Without burning his eyes or drawing ridicule!

  Sonnet, the First

  Blue, bright and boundless skies

  With cooling breezes sailing.

  Opens wide your wondering eyes

  Where questions are assailing.

  Oceans green and flowers scent