Produced by David Widger
ODD CRAFT
By W.W. Jacobs
THE PERSECUTION OF BOB PRETTY
The old man sat on his accustomed bench outside the Cauliflower. Agenerous measure of beer stood in a blue and white jug by his elbow, andlittle wisps of smoke curled slowly upward from the bowl of hischurchwarden pipe. The knapsacks of two young men lay where they wereflung on the table, and the owners, taking a noon-tide rest, turned apolite, if bored, ear to the reminiscences of grateful old age.
Poaching, said the old man, who had tried topics ranging from earlyturnips to horseshoeing--poaching ain't wot it used to be in these 'ereparts. Nothing is like it used to be, poaching nor anything else; butthat there man you might ha' noticed as went out about ten minutes agoand called me "Old Truthfulness" as 'e passed is the worst one I know.Bob Pretty 'is name is, and of all the sly, artful, deceiving men thatever lived in Claybury 'e is the worst--never did a honest day's work in'is life and never wanted the price of a glass of ale.
"Poaching," said the old man, "ain't wot it used to be inthese 'ere parts."]
Bob Pretty's worst time was just after old Squire Brown died. The oldsquire couldn't afford to preserve much, but by-and-by a gentleman withplenty o' money, from London, named Rockett, took 'is place and thingsbegan to look up. Pheasants was 'is favourites, and 'e spent no end o'money rearing of 'em, but anything that could be shot at suited 'im, too.
He started by sneering at the little game that Squire Brown 'ad left, butall 'e could do didn't seem to make much difference; things disappearedin a most eggstrordinary way, and the keepers went pretty near crazy,while the things the squire said about Claybury and Claybury men wasdisgraceful.
Everybody knew as it was Bob Pretty and one or two of 'is mates fromother places, but they couldn't prove it. They couldn't catch 'im nohow,and at last the squire 'ad two keepers set off to watch 'im by night andby day.
Bob Pretty wouldn't believe it; he said 'e couldn't. And even when itwas pointed out to 'im that Keeper Lewis was follering of 'im he saidthat it just 'appened he was going the same way, that was all. Andsometimes 'e'd get up in the middle of the night and go for a fifteen-mile walk 'cos 'e'd got the toothache, and Mr. Lewis, who 'adn't got it,had to tag along arter 'im till he was fit to drop. O' course, it wasone keeper the less to look arter the game, and by-and-by the squire seethat and took 'im off.
All the same they kept a pretty close watch on Bob, and at last onearternoon they sprang out on 'im as he was walking past Gray's farm, andasked him wot it was he 'ad in his pockets.
"That's my bisness, Mr. Lewis," ses Bob Pretty.
Mr. Smith, the other keeper, passed 'is hands over Bob's coat and feltsomething soft and bulgy.
"You take your 'ands off of me," ses Bob; "you don't know 'ow partikler Iam."
He jerked 'imself away, but they caught 'old of 'im agin, and Mr. Lewisput 'is hand in his inside pocket and pulled out two brace o' partridges.
"You'll come along of us," he ses, catching 'im by the arm.
"We've been looking for you a long time," ses Keeper Smith, "and it's apleasure for us to 'ave your company."
Bob Pretty said 'e wouldn't go, but they forced 'im along and took 'imall the way to Cudford, four miles off, so that Policeman White couldlock 'im up for the night. Mr. White was a'most as pleased as thekeepers, and 'e warned Bob solemn not to speak becos all 'e said would beused agin 'im.
"Never mind about that," ses Bob Pretty. "I've got a clear conscience,and talking can't 'urt me. I'm very glad to see you, Mr. White; if thesetwo clever, experienced keepers hadn't brought me I should 'ave lookedyou up myself. They've been and stole my partridges."
Them as was standing round laughed, and even Policeman White couldn't'elp giving a little smile.
"There's nothing to laugh at," ses Bob, 'olding his 'ead up. "It's afine thing when a working man--a 'ardworking man--can't take home alittle game for 'is family without being stopped and robbed."
"I s'pose they flew into your pocket?" ses Police-man White.
"No, they didn't," ses Bob. "I'm not going to tell any lies about it;I put 'em there. The partridges in my inside coat-pocket and the bill inmy waistcoat-pocket."
"The bill?" ses Keeper Lewis, staring at 'im.
"Yes, the bill," ses Bob Pretty, staring back at 'im; "the bill from Mr.Keen, the poulterer, at Wick-ham."
He fetched it out of 'is pocket and showed it to Mr. White, and thekeepers was like madmen a'most 'cos it was plain to see that Bob Pretty'ad been and bought them partridges just for to play a game on 'em.
"I was curious to know wot they tasted like," he ses to the policeman."Worst of it is, I don't s'pose my pore wife'll know 'ow to cook 'em."
"You get off 'ome," ses Policeman White, staring at 'im.
"But ain't I goin' to be locked up?" ses Bob. "'Ave I been brought allthis way just to 'ave a little chat with a policeman I don't like."
"You go 'ome," ses Policeman White, handing the partridges back to 'im.
"All right," ses Bob, "and I may 'ave to call you to witness that these'ere two men laid hold o' me and tried to steal my partridges. I shallgo up and see my loryer about it."
He walked off 'ome with his 'ead up as high as 'e could hold it, and theairs 'e used to give 'imself arter this was terrible for to behold. Hegot 'is eldest boy to write a long letter to the squire about it, sayingthat 'e'd overlook it this time, but 'e couldn't promise for the future.Wot with Bob Pretty on one side and Squire Rockett on the other, them twokeepers' lives was 'ardly worth living.
Then the squire got a head-keeper named Cutts, a man as was said to knowmore about the ways of poachers than they did themselves. He was said to'ave cleared out all the poachers for miles round the place 'e came from,and pheasants could walk into people's cottages and not be touched.
He was a sharp-looking man, tall and thin, with screwed-up eyes and alittle red beard. The second day 'e came 'e was up here at this 'ereCauliflower, having a pint o' beer and looking round at the chaps as hetalked to the landlord. The odd thing was that men who'd never taken ahare or a pheasant in their lives could 'ardly meet 'is eye, while BobPretty stared at 'im as if 'e was a wax-works.
"I 'ear you 'ad a little poaching in these parts afore I came," ses Mr.Cutts to the landlord.
"I think I 'ave 'eard something o' the kind," ses the landlord, staringover his 'ead with a far-away look in 'is eyes.
"You won't hear of much more," ses the keeper. "I've invented a new wayof catching the dirty rascals; afore I came 'ere I caught all thepoachers on three estates. I clear 'em out just like a ferret clearsout rats."
"Sort o' man-trap?" ses the landlord.
"Ah, that's tellings," ses Mr. Cutts.
"Well, I 'ope you'll catch 'em here," ses Bob Pretty; "there's far toomany of 'em about for my liking. Far too many."
"I shall 'ave 'em afore long," ses Mr. Cutts, nodding his 'ead.
"I shall 'ave 'em afore long,' ses Mr. Cutts."]
"Your good 'ealth," ses Bob Pretty, holding up 'is mug. "We've beenwanting a man like you for a long time."
"I don't want any of your impidence, my man," ses the keeper. "I've'eard about you, and nothing good either. You be careful."
"I am careful," ses Bob, winking at the others. "I 'ope you'll catch allthem low poaching chaps; they give the place a bad name, and I'm a'mostafraid to go out arter dark for fear of meeting 'em."
Peter Gubbins and Sam Jones began to laugh, but Bob Pretty got angry with'em and said he didn't see there was anything to laugh at. He said thatpoaching was a disgrace to their native place, and instead o' laughingthey ought to be thankful to Mr. Cutts for coming to do away with it