The Prankster Diaries, Book 1: Jokes on the Jokester
Copyright 2016 Mark Mulle
Author’s Note
This short story is for your reading pleasure. The characters in this "Minecraft Adventure Series" such as Steve, Endermen or Herobrine...etc are based on the Minecraft Game coming from Minecraft ®/TM & © 2009-2013 Mojang / Notch
Table of Contents
DAY ONE
DAY TWO
DAY THREE
DAY FOUR
DAY FIVE
DAY SIX
DAY SEVEN
DAY EIGHT
DAY NINE
DAY TEN
DAY ELEVEN
DAY TWELVE
DAY THIRTEEN
DAY FOURTEEN
DAY FIFTEEN
DAY SIXTEEN
DAY SEVENTEEN
DAY EIGHTEEN
DAY NINETEEN
DAY TWENTY
DAY TWENTY-ONE
DAY TWENTY-TWO
DAY TWENTY-THREE
DAY TWENTY-FOUR
DAY TWENTY-FIVE
DAY TWENTY-SIX
DAY TWENTY-SEVEN
DAY TWENTY-EIGHT
DAY TWENTY-NINE
DAY THIRTY
About the Author
Other books by this Author
Day One: Sly Clyde, the Cool Guy
Dear Diary,
My name is Clyde, and I’m definitely the coolest guy in this Minecraft village. All of the kids in my class like me, even if my teachers don’t. I don’t want to be a teacher’s pet anyway, that’s nerd stuff. When I was little, I decided that I don’t want to be a boring kid because boring kids don’t have any friends. I wanted to be the popular guy that everyone wants to hang out with. Years ago, I figured out the solution to that little plan. I needed to be the class clown. There was always a guy who needed to make people laugh, and I decided that if anyone would fill the role, it would be me.
Now that I’m in middle school, I really need to start stepping up my game. Tomorrow my class has a substitute teacher, and everyone knows that it’s always the subs that get pranked the hardest. In a way, it’s my job to do it. I’ll write all about the prank tomorrow. It’s going to be great!
Day Two: Prank Número Uno
Dear Diary,
Man, did I hit the ultimate jackpot when it comes to pranking people. So, my class is usually taught by an uptight villager who doesn’t take any slack from us. Today, our substitute for Spanish class was this fat teacher who seemed to care less about whatever we did. He seemed really bored with the whole class, and he got up to leave a lot, claiming that he had to go to the bathroom, even though I could hear him crinkling up candy wrappers when he came back.
When he left the room again, I knew it was my time to strike. I went up to his chair and unscrewed some of the screws. The whole chair was wobbly. It was only a matter of time. The sub came back, sat in the chair, and the whole thing crashed down. When he stood up, I could see that a candy bar got squished in his back pocket, making it look like...well, not like chocolate anymore. If I were to vote, I would say that this prank was a job well done.
Day Three: An Apprentice
Dear Diary,
I guess that my prank went over well yesterday because the whole school was talking about it today. I felt like I was on top of the world. No one was more popular than I was today. One kid even walked up to me today and asked me the weirdest thing. “Do you think that you can teach me how to prank as well as you do?”
I had seen this kid in my class before; his name is Ron. He’s one of the nerdier kids in class. It would be a little embarrassing to be seen with him. However, unlike a magician, a prankster must always share his tricks so that they can be carried down to other parts of the school. “Sure,” I answered. Tomorrow we start his training.
Day Four: Starting Small
Dear Diary,
As an expert in the pranking arts, I sometimes forget what counts as a huge prank and what’s just a little one. I had to do my best to find something basic to train Ron, and I figured that one of the most basic things out there was a pig. The most basic thing to do to a pig? Tease them.
After school, Ron and I walked to the nearest farm with a bag of carrots at our side. When we got to the farm, I showed Ron how it was done. I tied a carrot to a stick and hopped on a pig’s back. I made it run around like crazy, but it couldn’t reach the carrot. It was pretty fun to ride on it. Ron was pretty bad at it, though. He seemed really nervous about the whole thing. He tied a carrot on stick and got on his pig but only made it move slowly. A few times it even got a bite of the carrot.
I guess I can’t really expect much from Ron at this point. Tomorrow I think we will step it up a bit to get our blood pumping and to unleash the inner jokester that I hope is waiting to burst out of Ron.
Day Five: Cow Tipping
Dear Diary,
So, cow tipping is pretty much just a classic trick, and it’s just what it sounds like. A few friends go into a farm at night and push over cows. Why? Well, it’s pretty funny to watch them get scared and try to get up, so there’s that and...actually, that’s pretty much it. It just looks funny.
Ron seemed really nervous about this. I figured it was because he had to sneak out after curfew. I didn’t need to worry about stuff like that because my parents didn’t give me a curfew. They pretty much let me do whatever I want, which explains a lot about my personality, I guess.
We got to the farm and I showed Ron how it was done. I snuck up on an unsuspecting cow, and then I pushed. With a big THUD and a loud MOO, the cow was on the ground. As funny as it was, Ron seemed less than thrilled when it was his turn. He walked up to a cow and pushed, but the cow didn’t tip, so I helped him. He looked scared when the cow hit the ground, but I could swear that I caught him smiling. Maybe all of this really is bringing out the trickster in him.
Day Six: What is this? An Interview?
Dear Diary,
Today Ron was asking me a bunch of really annoying questions. I have no idea what’s up with that guy. First, I think he’s just some bookish nerd, but then he asks me for pranking lessons. Then, I take him to come pranking with me, but then he wimps out about it. Finally, he does a prank and seems happy about it, and then he asks me all of these personal questions. It’s like, “What’s up with you, Ron?” I don’t know.
One of the questions Ron kept focusing on was, “Why do you like to prank so much?” I told him that I thought it was fun, but he didn’t seem to take that as a real answer. He kept wanting to know more details, so I told him, “There're no other details to it. I just think it’s funny.”
Eventually, Ron went away, but he didn’t seem happy about it. I don’t know what’s up with him, but I do know that I’m too busy to worry about it. Anyway, I’ve got more pranks to plan, so I’ll write tomorrow.
Day Seven: ????
Dear Diary,
So, Ron is up to some really weird stuff now, and I’m not sure whether I should be proud or worried about it. I overheard him talking with another guy at school today. I know that it’s not cool to eavesdrop, but I was too curious to help myself. I could only make out a few words of what they were talking about, but I heard some important words, “Big prank,”
I knew that Ron was up to something, even if I still wasn’t sure what exactly it was that he was up to. I’ll investigate this further until I am finally able to figure this out. There’s no way that Ron will do a big prank without me. I’m the prank king of the middle school, and no one’s going to take that away from me!
; Day Eight: Whatcha’ Doing?
Dear Diary,
My investigation started, but hit a bump in the road, today. I asked Ron about the big prank I heard him talking about yesterday (saying it in a way that he wouldn’t know that I heard him talking about it with someone else), and he flat out denied it. I knew it was Ron who was talking yesterday, and he didn’t have a twin, so I knew that he was lying about the whole thing. I couldn’t call him out on his lying, though, because then he would be able to call me out on listening to his private conversations.
I decided that I would need to dedicate more time to this task if I was going to get any real answers out of him. I invited him to prank some Endermen with me tomorrow. If he couldn’t do it, then I would know that he wasn’t up for a big prank, but if he is able to do it... Well, I guess I’ll just have to wait to find out.
Day Nine: The Endermen Prank
Dear Diary,
I brought Ron out of the village today where I knew a couple of Endermen hung out. Earlier in the day, I had put some blocks out to attract the Endermen to the area. However, I had also tied strings to the blocks which would be the basis of the prank.
When Ron and I got to the area, there were already Endermen around, so it was time for the perfect prank. I saw an Enderman reaching for a block, and then I pulled the string, making them stumble while trying to get it. When it was Ron’s turn, he did something different. He let the Enderman get the block, but then he pulled the string, making it drop it. The Enderman looked super confused; it was great!
I guess that this proves that Ron is finally up for some bigger pranks, which means that I need to investigate more to figure out what he’s planning.
Day Ten: Another Strategy
Dear Diary,
Now that I knew that Ron was up to the task of pulling a decently-sized prank, I had to figure out what exactly it was that he was planning. The best way to find out what a jokester is planning is to name off bigger and better pranks that you have already done so that he or she will want to tell you their prank to try to one-up you.
Today, I talked to Ron and asked him, “If you were to plan a huge prank, what would it be?”
“I don’t know,” he replied like a lame guy would.
“What about, putting pies on chairs, dying sheep different colors at night, or ding-dong-ditching the whole village?”
“Nah,” he replied. “If I were going to pull a prank, it would be huge.”
“How huge?” I asked. Now I was getting somewhere.
Ron only shrugged. “Pretty big.” Never mind, I was getting nowhere.
Since Ron won’t tell me what he’s up to, I guess I’ll need to find it out from someone else. I’ll need to stop being a jokester for one day, but only so that I can act as a spy instead.
Day Eleven: Minerva?
Dear Diary,
I am aware that it is not cool to spy on a friend, but what’s a guy to do when his friend won’t tell him about a super cool prank? Obviously, this is something that I need to do if I want to know what’s up with Ron. Luckily, Ron’s a pretty easy guy to spy on.
Anyway, I came across him today. He was in one of the back halls at school talking to some older student. I don’t know who he is, but I’m pretty sure that he’s in the high school. So, I listened to them, but it was hard to understand what they were saying. In the end, I was able to grab onto a crucial piece of the puzzle: the prank was going to involve an old lady named Minerva.
I don’t know who she is, but I do know that I need to figure it out so that I can prank her first.
Day Twelve: Research
Dear Diary,
I had no idea where to start when it came to trying to figure out who Minerva was. All I knew was that she was an old lady. If I was going to prank her before Ron did, I was going to need to find out more.
I looked in the phone book to try to find her name, and there was something there. There were a few Minerva's in and around the village, but I knew most of them, and they weren’t old. The only Minerva in the phone book I didn’t know lived in the middle of nowhere. That must have been who Ron was going to prank!
Now all I have to do is figure out how to prank her...
Day Thirteen: Change of Plans
Dear Diary,
Today Ron invited me to come on a big prank with him. I figured that this was the prank that I heard him talking about before. Maybe he learned that I heard him talking about Minerva. Speaking of her, I don’t think I’ll prank her right now, at least not on my own. I can prank her with Ron like he probably has planned.
Now I need to make a new plan. Ron really should have told me about the prank earlier instead of lying about it, so now I need to get back at him...by pranking him. We won’t be leaving for a couple of more days, so I have time to think up a plan that’s big enough for a lying friend. After this, Ron’s going to know not to lie to me again.
Day Fourteen: The Ultimate Prank
Dear Diary,
I’ve figured it out! I’ve made the ultimate prank to get back at Ron with! So, here it goes... Ron and I will be alone for most of the trip to prank Minerva (assuming that’s what we’re going to do) there won’t be any adults around or anything. Basically, Ron and I will be expecting the other one to watch our backs, but what if one of us fails at the task?
I don’t know how exactly I’ll pull it off yet, I’ll need to base it on whatever is going on at the time, but I think that I’m going to play dead. I know it’s mean, but he kind of deserves it. All I need to do is to play dead long enough to freak him out. Then, when I’m “alive” again I’ll tell him that it was just a prank and tell him that’s what liars get.
We leave on our trip tomorrow, and from there I’ll work out the rest of the details of my awesome plan.
Day Fifteen: Ron’s Prank Plan
Dear Diary,
Ron came over to my house this morning to pick me up for the prank. He had a couple of horses with him so that we would be able to travel quickly. However, Ron said that it could take a couple of days to get there. His prank was pretty cool, though, so it was going to be worth the wait.
Ron heard some news that some Blazes escaped from the Nether, but that they were still hovering around the Nether portal. His plan was for us to go there, hide where they couldn’t see us, and then pelt them with water balloons. I would have never guessed that Ron would have come up with a prank this great.
I never knew Ron had such a great prank in him. It’s too bad I need to prank him back later.
Day Sixteen: Going to the Nether Portal
Dear Diary,
I’ve decided that I want to hold off on pulling my break. I’m sure my prank will be funnier than the one that Ron has planned, but I won’t know that for sure until I got along with Ron’s plan. Besides, I can’t very well throw water balloons at Blazes if I’m pretending to be dead, it just wouldn’t work out very well.
Anyway, besides reorganizing my plan for the day, I have also been riding on a horse for hours. I don’t know where the Nether portal is, so I need to trust that Ron is taking me to the right spot. He says that we should be able to get there by tomorrow, so I guess that’s when the real fun will begin.
Day Seventeen: Water VS Fire
Dear Diary,
Ron and arrived near the Nether portal today. We found a rock formation to hide behind. Luckily, Ron had brought some water with him to fill the balloons with, which was great because there didn’t seem to be any water nearby that we could have used.
Before we could throw the balloons, we had to set a fire to attract the Blazes. I lit the fire and hid behind the rocks with Ron. Before long, three Blazes showed up. On Ron’s cue, we started hurling water balloons at the creature. At first, the Blazes looked really confused. They looked like they were wondering, “What’s up with this? It’s not even raining!”
I messed up the prank, though. Clyde, the king of the jokesters, ruined it. I was having so much fun that I started laughing. The blaz
es heard me and started to float in our direction. Once they saw us, they started to throw fireballs at us.
Ron and I had no other options. We threw the last of our water balloons to hold them off, but once we ran out there was only one thing left to do: RUN!
Day Eighteen: I’M HIT...Just Kidding
Dear Diary,
Ron and I ran as fast as we could to get away from the Blazes. Our water balloons had hurt them yesterday, which slowed them down a little, but they were still hot on our case for a while. It wasn’t until late last night that we were finally able to get away from the Blazes. We hid in a cave last night, and now I think it’s about time for me to start my own prank.
I started it out slowly today. I pretended that a Blaze hit me with a fireball. Usually, adults can take a hit or two and be fine, but for a middle-schooler like me, a hit can be nearly fatal. I faked my wound by using some red clay that I found. I made it look like there was fake blood everywhere. I also used my fake cough that I used on my mom whenever I wanted to stay home from school.
My prank is working excellently. Ron is totally freaking out right now. Tomorrow I’ll put the prank in full swing. Diary, tomorrow I’ll be a dead man.
Day Nineteen: Dead Man Napping
Dear Diary,
Today’s the day that I teach Ron a lesson. No one lies to me and gets away with it...even if he does invite me to help out with the prank he planned later. So, here’s how the plan went. Earlier this morning I was pretending that I was getting sicker and closer to death. Ron was freaking out the whole time.
Eventually, I completed my plan. I pretended to die. Oh man! I wish I could have recorded it! Ron freaked out so much! He tried to catch me breathing (I had to hold my breath for a while) and he tried to feel for a pulse (it was just lucky that I got away with that one.) Once he figured I was dead for real he flipped out, grabbed his stuff, and ran away.
He’s gone now, but I expect that he’ll come back soon. Anyway, I’m going to take a nap while I wait. I’m sure he won’t be long. Maybe he’ll bring back some snacks. For a dead guy, I’m pretty hungry.
Day Twenty: Where’s Ron?
Dear Diary,
I woke up this morning and Ron wasn’t in the cave. There’s nothing left in the cave to even suggest that he came back at all after my nap. That jerk left me for dead! He totally deserved that prank to be pulled on me, but I didn’t deserve for it to backfire on me. This is bogus.
I wish I knew what to do now. I looked around the cave, but the horses (including mine) seemed to be long gone too. So, here I am, stuck in a cave without a snack. It seems as though my life has hit a tragic turn. I should probably be learning a lesson about how harsh life is, but I’ve got bigger things to worry about.
I need to figure out how to get home, and fast.I don’t like the vibe that this place is giving off...or the howling of the wolves in the distance. This is bad, very bad.
Day Twenty-One: Losing my Cool
Dear Diary,
My parents leave me home alone all of the time, but being alone in the middle of nowhere is totally different. I can kind of tell which way I am supposed to be going because I was paying attention when Ron and I drove out here on the horses. The horses were a lot faster than walking, though, it’s hard to figure out when I need to turn or switch direction.
I wouldn’t tell anyone else this, but since I’m writing in a diary, I think it’s okay to write. I’m a little scared to be out here alone. I didn’t tell Ron this, but I like to prank people because it makes me feel cool. There’s no one to impress out here, so I guess I can actually act scared.
Anyway, I’m going to try to find my way home. I’ll write about my progress tomorrow.
Day Twenty-Two: So Hungry...
Dear Diary,
This morning I could have sworn that I was hallucinating. I haven’t eaten much in the last couple of days because Ron took all of the food with him when he left. While I was walking I could smell food cooking. At first, I thought my nose was just fooling me, but I decided to follow the scent anyway, just in case; there really was a plate of food at the end of it.
I stumbled through the trees, and I actually did find where the smell was coming from. There was a little house among the trees, and smoke was coming out of the chimney of the house. I walked a little closer, but then I saw someone through the window. I couldn’t sneak in now; I knew I would get caught.
I’ll wait until the person leaves, and then I’ll fill my stomach with everything in their fridge. I’ll leave a note, though, obviously.
Day Twenty-Three: Food! At last!
Dear Diary,
The person left their house today early this morning, and I couldn’t be more excited about it. I crept into the house as soon as she left. I knew I had to be fast because I had no idea how long she was going to be gone. I ran straight into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There was so much food inside! I dug my hands into ham and cake at the same time, which was a terrible taste experience, by the way.
I filled my stomach with food and cleaned myself off a bit. As soon as I was about to leave, I heard someone fumbling with the door knob from outside. I had no choice. I ran into a bedroom and hid under the bed.
I have no idea when she will leave again, but I need to try to stay as hidden as possible until then. She’s already realized that I ate her food, and I don’t want her to find me after all of the threats she muttered upon looking into the fridge...
Day Twenty-Four: The Escape Plan
Dear Diary,
The woman who lives here has been home all day. It’s a little annoying, but I guess it is her house. I’m the one who shouldn’t be here. Last night was really weird. I could have sworn that she saw me. When the lady went to bed, I was under her bed, so she laid on her bed, making the mattress go down, which nearly crushed me.
I decided that I had to make a plan to get out of here. This lady doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. I’ll need to pull a prank to get out of this mess. I decided that I will make some crazy noises to distract the lady, and I’ll run away when she looks for the source of the noise. I can run far away, and by the time she figures out what’s up, I’ll be long gone. It’s almost fool-proof, which is what I need.
Day Twenty-Five: I Didn’t Think this Through...
Dear Diary,
I went to work putting my plan into action. I waited until the woman was out of her bedroom, and busy cooking something in the kitchen. If she was cooking, it meant that she was going to be busy. If she was busy, then I would have more time to escape.
When she was in the kitchen, I started my plan. First, I howled like a wolf. I could hear her stumble in the kitchen, and that’s how I knew my plan was working. I kept howling as I made my way from out from under the bed into the room. I made my howling louder. I was halfway out of the window before she came into the room. That’s when I realized that she would have traced the sound to me. I really didn’t think this through.
I tried to get all of the ways out of the window, but the lady pulled me back in. I was cornered, afraid, and in big trouble.
Day Twenty-Six: Minerva the Witch
Dear Diary,
Later in the day, I found out that I was in Minerva’s house. The very Minerva that Ron had been talking about pranking. I also realized that Minerva wasn’t a lady at all, she was a witch! I was sure that I was going to pay for this now. There was no way a human could ever prank a witch and get away with it.
Luckily, the witch fed me, but she didn’t talk to me at all. It was really weird. I know that I need to act tough, though. If I let my guard down for even a minute I know that she could hurt me. I had to make sure that something like that didn’t happen. I knew that I had to do whatever she wanted, at least until I had an opportunity to do whatever I needed to do.
Day Twenty-Seven: Ron’s Lesson
Dear Diary,
Today Minerva talked to me, and it was just about as bad as I thought it would be. The thing th
at was the worst was that this wasn’t even Minerva’s plan, it was Ron’s. Minerva told me that Ron had warned her about me. She knew that I was a great prankster and that I would prank anyone I met. Apparently, Ron had set me up. He knew that I was going to do something stupid, and he knew that I would have to go past Minerva’s house to get home. It was the biggest prank that I had even been through in my whole life. I only wish that I had thought about it first.
I laughed at the joke, taking it as just that. Minerva stopped me, though. She said, “You’re not getting away so easily this time. I can’t stand jokesters, and now you’ve got to pay.”
Day Twenty-Eight: Time to Pay
Dear Diary,
I tried to escape yesterday night, but I wasn’t fast enough. When Minerva said that I was going to pay, I thought she wanted some money or something, but I was wrong. Minerva said that I could leave today, but she had to do something else first.
Minerva said some funny words and let me go. At the end of her funny words, she said some real ones, “You may go. The spell will hit you shortly.” I ignored what the witch said and I went on my way.
“This is probably part of Ron’s prank,” I said out loud to myself. I left the witch’s house and started to make my way back to the village. This was a good prank, but I was going to get back at him.
Day Twenty-Nine: Oink
Dear Diary,
At first, I thought nothing of the silly words that the witch said, but in the morning, it hit me hard. When I woke up, I couldn’t recognize myself. I couldn’t even stand up. I crawled to the nearest pond to look at my reflection to see if I was hurt. I saw that I wasn’t hurt, but that I was a pig. The witch had turned me into a pig!
I had no idea what I was going to do, so I just kept walking to the village. While I was walking, I really want to eat some carrots, which reminded me of when I teased some pigs with carrots with Ron. I ignored the thought and kept walking.
When the sun went down I turned back into a human. I didn’t know how long I would stay this way, so I ran as far as I could. I could cover way more ground as a human than a pig. I wonder what would happen next. I guess I’ll just have to wait until tomorrow morning to find out.
Day Thirty: Sly Clyde, the Transforming Guy
Dear Diary,
This morning when I woke up I realized that I was a cow. I figured out that I wasn’t going to turn into a pig every time I transformed. I also figured out that I only turned into creatures during the day, and turned back into a human at night. This was super weird, but there didn’t seem to be anything that I could do about it.
I am almost back to my village now, and I expect that Ron is still there. I know that I need help to turn back into a human, but until then...I think I’ll use my new powers for a little bit of fun. Pranking is about to reach a whole new level, and I’ll be able to do things that no one will be able to handle.
I’ll find someone to help me turn back eventually, but first I need to get a little revenge. I’ll be coming for Ron. He won’t even see me coming. Instead, he’ll see a horse, or a chicken or something. Either way, I’ll pull the ultimate prank. After all, I am the greatest jokester around, and not even Ron, or a magic spell, will be able to change that.