Twin Souls
Book One of the Twin Souls Saga
Also by DelSheree Gladden
The Handbook Series
The Crazy Girl’s Handbook
The Oblivious Girl’s Handbook
Eliza Carlisle Mystery Series
Trouble Magnet
The Catalyst
The Arcane Wielder Series
Life & Being
The Ghost Host Series
The Ghost Host: Episode 1
The Ghost Host: Episode 2
Escaping Fate Series
Escaping Fate
Soul Stone
Oracle Lost
(Coming Soon)
Twin Souls Saga
Twin Souls
Shaxoa’s Gift
Qaletaqa
The Destroyer Trilogy
Inquest
Secret of Betrayal
Darkening Chaos
Someone Wicked This Way Comes Series
Wicked Hunger
Wicked Power
Wicked Glory
Wicked Revenge
The Aerling Series
Invisible
Intangible
Invincible
The Date Shark Series
Date Shark
Shark Out Of Water
The Only Shark In The Sea
Shark In Troubled Waters
Twin Souls
Book One of the Twin Souls Saga
by
DelSheree Gladden
Twin Souls
Book One of the Twin Souls Saga
Written by DelSheree Gladden
Copyright © 2010 DelSheree Gladden
Cover Design Blank Page Design Shop
Published by DelSheree Gladden
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the US Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.
Names, characters and incidents depicted in this book are products of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or the publisher. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher and/or author.
Printed in the U.S.A.
For all my friends and family
who have helped shape this book
Table of Contents
1. Anything
2. Romance or Zombies
3. A Vague Feeling
4. Controlling Hand
5. Subtle Invitation
6. The Inevitable Fight
7. Should Have Known
8. The Business of Kissing
9. Three Words
10. Stay Calm
11. Less Than Five
12. A Small Box and A Letter
13. Proposal
14. Warning
15. The Chief’s Daughter
16. Denial
17. Amazing Enough
18. The Chance to Fight
19. No Other Way
20. A Chance
21. Unwanted Companion
22. Falling Rocks
23. Without Warning
24. Shifting Darkness
25. A Place to Start
26. Compulsion
27. Enemy
28. Confession
29. Relief
30. Breaking In
31. The Next Step
32. Fading
33. Daniel
34. More Alone
35. Watching
36. Attack
37. Bleak Desperation
38. The Truth
39. Complications
40. Silent Desert
41. Confrontation
42. Rescue
43. Escape
44. Hope
Also by DelSheree Gladden
Sneak Peek of Shaxoa’s Gift
About the Author
1: Anything
Chaos streamed out of the double doors of the high school. The way everyone ran for their cars and sped out of the parking lot looked something like terrified masses running from a bomb scare. Nothing as interesting as that happened in San Juan Pueblo, though. It was just the last day of school. Everybody was in a hurry to start their summer vacations except me.
Living on a ranch meant my summers were spent watering the alfalfa fields and looking after the sheep and horses we owned. Not to mention mucking out stalls, cutting and binding alfalfa, hauling stock, and a dozen other things. I didn’t really mind the work, but sometimes I wished for the freedom to go tearing off to Santa Fe on a whim like some of the other kids did. Like Claire Brant did.
I watched her long, chocolate colored hair bounce around her shoulders as she climbed into Jonny Begay’s Jeep Wrangler. I wondered if they were dating now. She laughed at whatever Jonny said and reached down to help Dana climb up behind her. Turning back to look at Jonny, Claire’s eyes swept over me. Her smile seemed to brighten when she saw me, but that was probably just my imagination.
There were plenty of reasons I should have caught her eye. I had more sports trophies than anyone else in the school, decent enough grades, good looks as far as I could tell, and the build of a football player, thanks to working on the ranch with my dad. For some reason, though, I had never managed to say more than a few words to her.
It wasn't that I was shy, it was hard to be too shy when sports constantly put me in the spotlight, but there was something about Claire that made it impossible for me to approach her. With any other girl, I was confident and comfortable. Claire was different, though. And since I was hopelessly in love with her, I didn’t date much.
Backing out of his parking space, Jonny let out an enthusiastic yell as they drove toward me. He revved the engine as if he was going to speed out of here, but the line of waiting cars held him at bay. Dana and Beth were standing up in the back of the Jeep with their hair flying around their faces. Spotting me, Dana leaned over the frame alluringly and said, “Hop in, Uriah. We’re heading out to the bluffs for the bonfire tonight.”
She never quit. “Sorry, Dana, I’ve got stuff to do at the ranch. Hauling hay bales into the barn and things,” I said.
The exaggerated pout on her lips was amusing. She knew I wasn't interested, but she still tried. Too hard, most of the time. “Will you come later? I’ll be disappointed if you don’t.”
“Maybe, I don’t know.”
Dana looked like she was going to keep pressuring me, but my frown made her hold her tongue. I liked Dana well enough, but it really bothered me that she tried to push her attention on me when she knew very well I didn’t want it. Bouncing back quickly, Dana just shrugged and went back to talking with Beth. I started walkin
g again, my gaze sliding along the Jeep to Claire. I realized she was looking right at me and froze. This time I didn’t have to imagine she was really smiling at me. Raising her hand she motioned toward the Jeep and said something but Jonny’s theatrical engine rev drowned her out. I took a step forward hoping to hear her better, but the Jeep jerked forward onto the main road.
Was she asking me to come along? She could have been motioning toward the car, or just pointing back at Dana and Beth. Jonny, and his stupid engine. I wished he could figure out how to not act like a total delinquent once in a while. What had she said? Dana asking me to go was easy to turn down, but Claire, I couldn’t refuse her. I should, but I wouldn’t.
I didn’t feel like hauling hay bales suddenly.
Abandoning the dirt road that led me home, I let myself wander toward the one spot I could clear my head and think. The river was completely out of my way, but I needed the quiet sound of the water lapping against the bank right now. Every time I saw Claire I felt different. Being around her made me feel weaker for some reason. It actually hurt me to touch her.
The first time it happened, when I bumped into her in the hallway in fifth grade, I thought she must have just shocked me. The next time I touched her I had tapped on her shoulder to get past her. My light touch had been like tiny daggers shooting through my arm. The affect she had on me was undeniable when she grabbed my arm by accident, her bare skin against mine. I lost every ounce of strength and had to cover myself by saying I had tripped. The few other times we came in contact were the same. It was as if my body was trying to tell me that it couldn’t handle being near her.
I didn’t think Claire had any idea about the way she made me feel, but she almost never went out of her way to talk to me or be around me. If I was too near her, she would get up and leave. When we saw each other in the hallways, she inexplicably found someone to talk to on the side furthest from me. She was one of the only girls in the high school who had not asked me out at least once. That was why her looking at me from the Jeep was so frustrating. The one time she sought me out, I had no idea what she had said. I knew my own reason for staying away from her, but all the way to the riverbank I wished I could figure out what hers was.
My shoes and socks were left in a heap next to my backpack. The soft grass that grew naturally in so few places in the New Mexican desert rippled under my bare feet. Its coolness was such a stark contrast to the hot summer sun. Just thinking about the heat seemed to make it ten times worse. Slipping my feet into the lazy rills of the river, I contemplated tugging off my shirt and jumping in.
The thought barely formed before the sound of flying gravel hit me. Turning around to see who had invaded my favorite spot, I was surprised to see Jonny’s Jeep skidding to a stop on the side of the road. And even more surprised to hear Claire yelling at him as she jumped out of the cab and slammed the door behind her. Jonny was right on her heels.
Slowly getting to my feet, I walked toward the still running car. Claire’s raised voice caught my ear.
“Just leave me alone, Jonny! I swear if I hear another word come out of your mouth, I’ll slap you,” Claire said.
“Knock it off, Claire, you’re acting like a total-” Jonny didn’t get to finish.
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Claire yelled. And true to her word, she slapped him.
I went from a walk to run. I knew these two well enough to know where this was going. Jonny’s anger flamed in his eyes, carrying him toward Claire as his arm reached forward and grabbed her shoulder. She tried to break away from him, but he yanked her back.
“Let me go!” Claire’s other hand came around and smacked Jonny on the shoulder. She didn’t do enough damage to make him let go, unfortunately. Instead he grabbed her chin, pulling her face up next to his.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” Jonny seethed. “Now, get back in the Jeep.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” Claire said. Jonny’s free hand balled into a fist, but Claire stared him down.
I didn’t think he would hit her, but I had never seen Jonny this angry before. One more quick step brought me to his side. Grabbing his arm tightly, I snatched it back. Jonny spun around as his other fist came up. I caught that one too and forced it back down. He stared at me in shock for a few seconds before letting his hands fall to his side. Dana and Beth, still huddling in the back of the Jeep, sighed in relief.
“Ur-Uriah,” Jonny stuttered, “where did you come from?”
“I was here before you were,” I said. “What’s going on? You looked like you were about to hit Claire, Jonny.”
His face paled and he started shaking his head vigorously. “No, man, I was just…I wasn't going to hit her. We were just arguing.”
“About what?”
“Nothing. It wasn't a big deal. I just got carried away, I guess. I didn’t mean anything by it,” Jonny assured me.
Claire’s narrowed eyes and attack stance clearly disagreed that it was no big deal. She looked ready to rip his spiky black hair right out of his head. No need to see that happen today. “I think you should probably apologize to Claire,” I said.
For all I knew Claire had started the entire fight, but Jonny nodded hurriedly and looked over at a still very angry Claire. “Sorry, Claire, I didn’t mean to piss you off. I didn’t mean it, okay? Let’s just forget about it.” Even though his apology was to Claire, Jonny looked to me for approval. I nodded and his shoulders sagged in relief. He didn’t waste any time trotting back around to the driver’s side. He was back in the seat before Claire had time to react.
His buckle clicked into place as Claire responded. Grabbing the side of the Jeep, Claire pointed at Jonny. “Where do you think you’re going? You just say sorry and take off? You’re such a creep, Jonny. Get back over here, you jerk!”
“Claire.” I took her hands off the jeep, feeling that odd, painful sensation sweep through me. I had to grind my teeth together to keep from letting her see the effect she had on me. I desperately wished I knew what it was that made me feel so strange. “Just let him go,” I said, “he isn’t worth the fight.”
Anyone else would have backed off, but not Claire. She yanked her hands away from me, making the pain evaporate and bringing my strength back immediately. She spun back to the Jeep, but Jonny had seen his chance to escape and taken it. He was already out of reach.
“Thanks a lot, Uriah. You let him get away. I wasn’t finished yelling at him yet, that stupid prick.”
“I…” My mind struggled to come up with anything to say to her. I thought I was helping. Shouldn’t she be thanking me? Yeah, she hadn’t asked for my help, but she definitely looked like she needed it. She had been half a second away from a nasty black eye. Sometimes it was hard to think around Claire, but I suddenly had a moment of clarity. This road was nowhere near the way out to the bluffs. “You’re pretty far away from the bluffs. How did you end up here?” I asked.
Claire bottled up her irritation in a flash and replaced it with pure embarrassment. Her mixed Anglo and Native American heritage gave her lighter skin than any of the other Tewa Indians on the reservation. I loved the unique look it gave her, but now I had another reason to love her skin. The light color made it much easier to see her blushing. It was almost enough to make me forget that she hadn’t answered my question.
“Did you know I was here?” I asked. The blush spread from her cheeks to her ears. She turned away to hide it from me, but I had already gotten my answer.
Being around her made my thoughts fray into straggling bits of thread, and touching her sapped my strength and made my skin burn. Fate, or some other power, obviously wanted me to stay away from her. I was having a hard time listening today. I didn’t know how she knew I would be here, but it was apparent that she had led Jonny right to me. She seemed determined to avoid me most of the time, but when she needed protection, she thought of me. Whatever else loving her did to me, I would do anything for her.
&nbs
p;
2: Romance or Zombies
For the longest time we just stood there in the grass, me in my bare feet, and Claire in a pair of designer sandals. She stared out at the desert landscape, or pretended to stare at least. Most likely she was avoiding looking at me until she calmed down. I didn’t have to pretend to stare at anything. I was freely staring at her. Denim shorts left most of her long, sinuous legs bare, but the soft curves of her shoulders were barely visible under the cascade of her hair. Every inch of her skin called to me. Even the defiant way she stood made me want to reach out and pull her into my arms. I doubted she would appreciate that, though, so I kept my hands to myself. Plus, I had no idea what having that much of her body in contact with mine would do to me.
When she finally faced me, every hint of her embarrassment had disappeared. Folding her arms tightly against her chest, she looked at me in a way that seemed to dare me to ask her what all of that with Jonny had been about. Since I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of her slaps, I left it alone for now. After a few seconds, Claire nodded her approval and let her beautiful smile slip back onto her lips.
“Where are your shoes?” she asked.
I couldn’t help but laugh. That was really all she had to say to me? “There, over by the bank,” I said. “Let me get them and I’ll walk you home.”
Walking with me to get my shoes and backpack, Claire didn’t say anything. She just waited patiently while I tugged my tennis shoes back on and slung my bag over my shoulder.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Sure.”
We were about a mile out of town, with Claire’s house being on the opposite side of San Juan. The distance didn’t bother me any, especially walking it with Claire, but I worried that she might get tired or bored along the way. I wanted to say something to her. Nothing came to mind, though. Except for the one time we ended up in the same homeroom class, this was the longest amount of time we had ever spent together. Basketball and football games she came to didn’t count, because I knew she wasn’t there for me.
“So, are you going to the bonfire tonight?” Claire asked.
I stared at her incredulously. After what happened with Jonny, was she seriously still considering going? “Uh, I doubt it,” I said, “are you?”
“Not anymore.” Silence fell between us again.
I was dying to know what had led to Claire jumping out of Jonny’s car. Claire never missed a bonfire or movie night. She was usually one of the ones organizing these get-togethers. And tonight was the annual end of the school year bonfire. Everybody went. What could Jonny have possibly done that would make Claire mad enough to miss it?
“Thanks,” Claire said suddenly.
“Huh?” I wondered if I had missed something she’d said.
“For, uh, getting rid of Jonny. I should have said thanks earlier.”
She was back to pretending to be extremely interested in the piñon trees crowding around the road. “No problem,” I said. I knew I probably shouldn’t, but I made myself ask her again. “How did you know I would be at the river?”
“What do you mean?” Claire asked. The overly innocent tone of her voice made me smile. It wasn’t often I saw her on this side of an awkward conversation.
“So, Jonny just happened to be driving by the pullout to the river when he decided to piss you off? I thought you guys were heading to the bluffs, in the opposite direction.” My teasing brought a smile to Claire’s face. She knew she was caught.
Slipping her hands into her back pockets, Claire looked up at me, her guilt and amusement mixing in her eyes. “Okay, so maybe I tricked Jonny into driving to the river, but I had to get away from him and I knew he wouldn’t let me leave without a fight.”
“But what made you think of me?” I asked. I should have just been glad of the fact that the one girl I wanted most had dropped into my lap unexpectedly. Doing what I should wasn’t always easy. I should have been home hauling bales of hay into the barn. I wanted to know her reason before I counted myself too lucky. If she said it was because I could knock Jonny out for her, well, that wasn’t the answer I wanted.
Claire seemed surprised by the question. She took a few moments to answer, but when she did, it was my turn to be surprised. “Because I knew Jonny would back down if you told him to.”
“What? Why would Jonny do anything I said just because I told him to? We aren’t even that good of friends,” I said. Especially not after today.
“But he did, didn’t he?” she asked.
My argument died in my throat. She was right, I guess.
“Everybody does what you tell them to. Maybe it’s because they know you could break them in half if you wanted to, but everybody knows you would never hurt a girl, and the girls act the same way. Even the teachers and coaches listen to you,” Claire said.
What was she talking about? I hated to sound conceded, but Jonny, and other guys like him, probably only ever listened to me because I was twice their size. And girls, girls always went after the top athletes. My coaches were great, but they realized that I knew the games as well as they did, so when I made a suggestion, they respected me enough to listen. Claire was making it sound like something more than what it really was.
“Claire, I…” What did I even say to that? I had no response, so I went back to my original question. “How did you know I was at the river? You keep avoiding answering me about that one.”
I was avoiding answering to what she had just said, of course, but I hoped she didn’t think to call me on it. The hint of pink in her cheeks made me think she was too distracted to notice. “I saw you heading this way when we left the school. And I know you like to hang out at river,” she said, “so I figured this was where you would be.” She ended with a shrug, like everyone should have known I would be hanging out at the river.
Maybe it wasn’t that hard for her to guess, but I chose to think that maybe she had been paying a little more attention to me than I thought. Fear of finding out I was wrong kept me from pushing any harder. “Well, I’m sorry you have to miss the bonfire tonight,” I said.
“Oh, I don’t have to miss it,” Claire said, “I’m choosing to miss it. Jonny being an idiot isn’t what’s stopping me from going to the bonfire. I could make myself deal with him if I really wanted to.”
“Then why aren’t you going? I thought you liked going to stuff like that?” I asked.
Claire looked at me, not shyly, exactly, but more like she was considering something, then looked ahead again. I watched her seriousness soften as she turned back to me with a smile. “Because I think I found something better to do,” she said. Her steps brought her a little closer to me and I dared smiling back at her as we reached the edge of town.
We walked through town without speaking. I was too afraid to say something that might make her change her mind. Always nice enough to me from a distance before today, I knew there was something keeping her away from me. Today she had been the one to seek me out, and the one to admit to wanting to be around me. Whether it was luck, or something else entirely, I didn’t want to lose this chance.
The big double doors of Claire’s massive house loomed before us more quickly than I expected. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do now. I had only offered to walk her home. Were the doors my cue to take off, now that she was safe again? We reached the top of the short flight of steps leading up to the door before I could figure it out.
Claire hesitated, and then asked, “Do you want to watch a movie or something?”
Well, there was my answer.
“Yeah, sure, that sounds great.” I started to follow her to their den, but I stopped after a few steps. “Could I use your phone, though? My parents were probably expecting me home a while ago.”
“Of course,” Claire said. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she tossed it to me. I caught the pearly pink, rhinesto
ne encrusted cell phone with one hand. Letting my mom know where I was only took a few brief seconds. Her happily telling me to stay as long as I wanted and not to worry about the hay took a lot longer than it should have. I think it worried her that I didn’t date as much as she thought I should. Even though I tried to hide it, my mom knew how I felt about Claire. I said goodbye and flipped the phone closed before she could embarrass me too much.
Claire was already settling into the couch, the previews of whatever movie she had chosen playing in the background. The huge den had three couches to choose from. The only one I was interested in was the suede loveseat holding Claire. Sitting so there was plenty of room left, she looked over at me. I didn’t keep her waiting.
Making sure not to touch her, I sat down next to Claire. My heart was pounding, but I forced myself to relax, or at least look like I was relaxed, as I leaned into the soft cushions. I handed her cell phone back to her with my thanks, and asked, “So what are we watching?”
“Well, it was a choice between romance or zombies,” she said. “I thought you might like the zombies better. Cole chose it, big surprise. My brother loves anything with gore and undead people in it. This one was supposed to be pretty funny, though.”
“Zombie movies usually are pretty funny, even when they don’t mean to be,” I said.
“I know, right? We watched Night of the Living Dead in English and half the class laughed through it,” Claire said.
“What was the other half doing?”
“Sleeping.”
That was pretty much the same thing that had happened in my class last year. Claire was a year behind me in school, something I often forgot when I saw her since we were practically the same age. She had missed the school district deadline by two months. More than once I had wished she had been born in August, rather than October. Next year would be my senior year, but only Claire’s junior. The idea of leaving her behind for college made my heart ache. The previews finally ended and we both turned our attention to the TV. I was a lot more focused on the small amount of space between me and Claire than the movie.
Twenty minutes into the movie, though, we were both laughing hysterically. I was enjoying myself so much that the few times Claire leaned into me to say something or brushed my hand with hers that I barely even noticed the pain-filled shiver that ran through me.
As the number of zombies dwindled and the sappy romance between the main characters took over, Claire let her head fall onto my shoulder. Pain radiated through my side, but reflex brought my arm around her shoulder before I could stop myself. I worried immediately that I had been too quick to move, but Claire only leaned against me more heavily, doubling the intensity of my reaction. I found myself very glad to be sitting down at the moment.
Her body pressed so gently against mine made my hand start to tremble slightly from the pain. Balling my hand into a fist and tucking it away where she couldn’t see it, I refused to move away from her. The feel of her against me was worth any amount of pain.
3: A Vague Feeling
I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. Uriah freaked me out for some reason. Well, not for some reason, I knew the reason. In not so subtle terms, I had actually told him today why I had never hung out with him before. He acted like the way people changed when he was around them was just because of his size, or something, but I didn’t believe that. The way people acted around him, it was almost like his mere presence had some kind of control over other people.
Being controlled was something I dealt with every day of my life. My dad had my entire life planned out for me, and was willing to do just about anything to make sure things happened exactly the way he wanted them too. What I wanted couldn’t have mattered less to him. I certainly didn’t need more of that from a boyfriend. Uriah flat out made me nervous.
But that wasn’t the only reason I usually kept away from him. When most girls talk about the man of their dreams, they were delving into the fantasy of who their perfect match would be. I never thought about the man of my dreams, only the man in my dreams. For as long as I could remember I had dreamed of his face. He was completely nameless in my dreams and his blonde hair and blue eyes did not belong on the reservation, but I waited for him to come to me in my dreams every night. My rational mind told me they were only dreams. My soul told me they were so much more than that. Since most people who know me would admit I was not always the most rational person, it should be no surprise to anyone that I chose to believe he was real. His image in my mind had kept me from getting serious with anyone, especially Uriah. Uriah was the one guy I was afraid could make me forget my dreams.
Why I was sitting next to him with his arm around me was hard to explain. Up until now, I had carefully avoided Uriah as much as possible. Mainly because of the weird vibe, but also because I thought he was just about the most gorgeous, sweet, amazing person I knew. If I found myself doing whatever he wanted, I wasn’t sure I would have the desire to stop. Lately, staying away was getting harder to do, though. Even without considering my dreams, something about the way people reacted to him told me that I should stay away from him. When I had to get away from Jonny today, he was the first person I thought of.
Spending time with Uriah was nothing like I thought it would be. The only difference I felt at being around him was excitement. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything I wouldn’t normally do, or acting strangely at all. His arm felt good around my shoulder and I wanted it to stay there. And that was purely my own desire. The delicious throbbing I felt all over my body made me sure of that.
Sooner than I would have liked, the credits started rolling. Uriah didn’t jump up to leave, or try to make out with me like a few other guys had done. I appreciated his self-control, even if I was a little disappointed he didn’t try to kiss me. Part of me wanted to see how long we could stay like this, but that would probably make Uriah uncomfortable after a while.
“Well, that was better than I thought it was going to be,” I said. “Did you like it?”
Uriah seemed to take that as his cue to let me go. He took his arm back and sat up straight before answering. I held in a disappointed sigh. “Yeah, it was pretty funny,” he said. “It reminded me a lot of Shaun of the Dead. Have you ever seen that one?”
“Living with Cole? Of course I have. I couldn’t stop laughing when I watched it.” I knew that awkward moment where Uriah would be wondering whether he should stay or go was right around the corner, so I tried to get a jump on it. “Do you want to watch another one? The only other new one we have is a romantic comedy, but there’s always more zombie movies, thanks to Cole, if you want.”
Uriah laughed. “I think I’m all zombied out for today.”
“Romantic comedy it is, then,” I said. Usually Uriah’s expressions were very easy to read. Not right now, though. I wasn’t sure whether Uriah looked relieved that I had asked him to stay longer, or worried, but he didn’t make a run for it either way. I took that as a good sign. Reluctantly getting off the couch, I looked toward the kitchen. “How about some popcorn and sodas to go with this one?”
“Sounds good,” Uriah said as he stood up next to me. “Need any help?”
For a brief second, I considered telling him I was fine, I hated looking helpless, but I liked the idea of being away from him even less. Letting him put a bag of popcorn in the microwave was hardly going to make me look like a wimp. “Sure,” I said, “follow me.”
The honest pleasure in Uriah’s face made me smile. He seemed nothing like what a lot of my friends had told me. Dana and Beth both said he was outgoing and fun when they went out with him, confident, engaging. Dana said they spent most of their date talking and laughing. No girl that I knew of ever regretted going out with him. The only thing they ever regretted was that they never went out again. Uriah never dated a girl more than once, which left plenty of them wondering what on eart
h they had done wrong. I thought it was more like he was just trying them out, waiting for the right one to find him. Seeing Uriah so, almost shy, and quiet, around me was bizarre. It made me worry that I was doing something wrong.
Entering the kitchen, I went right to the pantry and pulled out a package of microwave popcorn. I stripped off the wrapper and tossed it to Uriah. He caught it effortlessly, of course. I had watched just about every home football, basketball, or baseball game he had ever played in. I could at least do that and feel safe. He was so much better at everything than everyone else it was ridiculous. If our tiny school wasn’t way below the college sports radar, he would have scouts knocking down his door every day.
“Would you throw that in the microwave,” I asked. “Just push the Popcorn button.” He nodded and I heard the almost too loud hum of the microwave behind me as I opened the fridge. “What do you like, Coke, root beer, Crush, Sprite?” I asked.
“Um, Coke is fine.”
I handed him the soda and set my own on the counter to find a bowl for the popcorn. The warning beep that there was only thirty seconds left on the timer sounded. “Oh, shoot. Uriah, would you…” I was closer than he was. “Never mind, I’ll get it,” I said.
But Uriah had already guessed I was talking about the popcorn and moved to get it right as I turned around. I bumped into him, putting my hand on his chest to keep from crashing into him too much. He shivered and shook his head as if he had to shake off my touch. I snatched my hand away quickly.
“Sorry,” I said as the final beep rang. I could smell the faint scent of burnt popcorn emanating from the microwave. It burned every time if we didn’t take it out early.
“No, it was my fault,” Uriah said. “I’ll get it for you.” He hesitated for a second before brushing his fingers across my cheek. I swear he shivered again, but if he did, it was so slight I almost didn’t see it. Smiling with a strange kind of pride, he turned away and went after the popcorn. I had no idea what that was about.
Trying to hide my mixed up feelings, I busied myself with finding a bowl. Uriah was nothing like I thought, but that certainly didn’t mean I had any clue what he was really like. I was more confused than ever about him. I was still searching the cupboards when I heard the front door open. Cole was setting up for the bonfire. Mom was shopping with a friend in Santa Fe. That only left my dad. Cursing under my breath, I hoped he would head right back out. Maybe he just forgot something. The click of his dress shoes on the kitchen tile made me cringe. His feet stopped moving and I forced myself to stand up and face him.
Harder than usual, his eyes stared past me to Uriah. “I thought you were going to the bonfire tonight, Claire,” he said, still not looking at me.
“I was, but…” Should I tell him about Jonny? And why was he glaring at Uriah like that? “Um, I got in a fight with Jonny and didn’t feel like going anymore.”
He didn’t really seem to hear me. “Uriah, what are you doing here with my daughter?” my dad asked.
Okay, this was beyond weird. “Dad, what’s your problem? We’re watching a movie. Is there something wrong with that?” His eyes narrowed as if there was indeed something wrong with me watching a movie with Uriah. “Shouldn’t you be at work anyway?” I asked. “What are you doing home so early?”
“I thought everyone would be out. I came home to work in my study. There were too many distractions at the casino,” he said.
Of course, the one day my dad wants to work from home is the one day I actually want to hang out here. “Well, we’ll be all the way in the den. You won’t even know we’re here,” I said.
“I can go if it’s a problem,” Uriah said to my dad.
My dad was not going to ruin this for me. I said, “No, you’re fine, Uriah,” just as my dad said, “I think that would be best.” My eyes snapped to my dad’s with a threat he knew I could fulfill, but he was still glaring at Uriah. Uriah just nodded politely before turning to me.
“I’ve got chores to do anyway, but thanks for having me over, Claire,” Uriah said. He started for the front door, leaving me staring at my dad.
“What is wrong with you?” I hissed at my dad. “You wouldn’t have even been able to hear us in the den.”
“I would rather you didn’t hang out with Uriah Crowe,” my dad said.
“What?”
Dropping his keys and attaché on the table, my dad walked past me in his usual cold manner. “I don’t approve of him, and I better not see you together again.” Like that was the end of the discussion, he starting walking across the kitchen toward his study.
“Well,” I said sarcastically, making him turn back to look at me, “it’s a good thing I always do what you say, then, isn’t it?”
“Claire,” he warned, but I had already rushed away from him.
I threw open the front door and I spotted Uriah halfway down the driveway. “Uriah!”
He turned around quickly, but waited for me to approach him. I wanted to grab him and yank him back to the house, but I pulled up just short. “Sorry about my dad, he can be a real jerk sometimes,” I said.
Uriah hid a smile and nodded politely. My dad sponsored most of the teams Uriah played on, so he knew as well as anyone what my dad was like. Plenty of people respected my dad because he owned the biggest trading post in the area, as well as the casino outside of town, but I didn’t think you could pay any amount to actually get someone to like him.
“It’s okay,” Uriah said, “I have a truckload of hay to unload anyway. I had fun, though.”
It was probably the most laidback, kind-of-date I had ever been on, but it was definitely the best. “I did too,” I said.
As he started to turn away I had the strongest urge to sink my lips against his. I didn’t want him to leave, especially if this was the last time I would see him. That thought had nothing to do with my dad, but everything to do with Uriah’s track record. I didn’t want him being pushed out by my dad to be the last thing he remembered me for. I was considering how to stop him from leaving when he turned back.
He opened his mouth to say something, but frowned and closed it again. I waited with my breath held against fear of what he was going to say. Shaking his head once more, Uriah looked at me. “Can I see you again?” he asked.
Breathing out too quickly with relief, my answer got stuck in my throat. I swallowed, and said, “Of course, I would love that.”
“Great,” Uriah said. “My dad and I are cutting alfalfa this weekend, but maybe we can do something next week.”
“Sure, just give me a call.”
Half smiling and frowning at the same time as if he wasn’t sure about what he had just done, Uriah turned and walked away. It took some real effort to walk back to the house calmly. I had a million questions about Uriah, and a vague feeling that seeing him again wasn’t a good idea, but knowing I was the first girl he had ever gone on a second date with was so intoxicating it overpowered everything else. Even my dreams. I wanted to be with Uriah no matter what being around him eventually revealed.
4: Controlling Hand
It was the first night I didn’t dream of his face. Every second of my dreams was filled with Uriah that night. I woke up thinking about Uriah, and for some reason that scared me. Only after replaying the all too real dreams of Uriah in my head a few times did my mind bring my dream guy’s image back to my mind, as if trying to make me guilty for my lapse. For a brief moment, I really missed not seeing him. My head was still too filled with Uriah to dwell on it for long, though.
Waiting for Uriah’s call was torturous. Only knowing that he would be baling and hauling alfalfa all weekend kept me from dashing over to his house for a surprise visit. I didn’t tell my mom what was making me so antsy, but by Saturday morning she knew I needed to get out of the house. Always happy to have an excuse to spend a day in Santa Fe, Mom told me to pack an overnight
bag and whisked me off to her favorite hotel, the one that had a full day spa.
We spent Saturday getting covered in mud and cucumbers. It helped some. Eventually, my mom wheedled out what was bothering me and we spent the rest of the day talking about Uriah. Talking to her helped more than anything the spa did to me. I spent most of my free time with Dana and Beth, but my mom was my true best friend. I never had to question the motives behind her love, and she battled my dad for me constantly. The only thing we didn’t talk about was my dad’s weird reaction to me hanging out with Uriah. That was barely even worth mentioning.
As soon as I fell into the plush hotel bed Saturday night my eyes closed and my mind conjured up the image of the wrong person.
At first it was just his hands sliding over my shoulders. Then it was his whole arms wrapping around me and pulling me against his chest. For a few moments we stayed there feeling utterly complete in each other’s arms. He was always the same age as me and he always knew what I needed. When I was upset he would hold me and stroke my hair until my worry or anger disappeared. If I was in a playful mood he would dance with me, spinning me and laughing until we both collapsed. When I needed to know that someone truly loved me, he would show me his love in every caress and kiss.
Tonight I was not upset or playful. My mind and heart were fully focused on love.
Gently his lips pressed against the hollow below my ear, making my head fall to the side so he could explore my skin more easily. His fingers joined his lips on my neck and slowly traced their way down to my shoulder. His touch felt familiar and inviting, but something about the way he kissed me felt different. More insistent than usual, more demanding. I didn’t respond right away and he noticed my hesitation. When his guiding hands turned me to face him, I saw the question in his eyes, the fear that I did not want him and need him as much as I once did.
I woke from the dream with a tremendous sense of guilt hanging over me.
Not even spending another day in the spa could relax me then. Going back home Sunday night ramped up my anxiety even more. Every noise that night woke me from dreams that had nothing to do with Uriah. Sleep deprived hope made me reach for the phone every time. I woke up Monday morning tired and cranky, but all of that disappeared when my phone rang and I saw Uriah’s number on the caller ID. I stumbled excitedly through our conversation, barely even hearing him ask me to go horseback riding with him. Mom laughed as I tore through the house to change clothes. I was riding my mare, Daisy, off our property in record time.
Some of my pent up energy cooled as I reached Uriah’s house. Walking Daisy around to the front of the house, I slid off and tied her reins to the fence next to Uriah’s waiting horse. I had planned to go knock on the door, but I spotted Uriah in the sheep pen next to the house and headed over to him, all thoughts of dreams forgotten. He didn’t notice me until I climbed up on the fence and sat on the top rail.
“Claire,” he said when he saw me, “I didn’t realize you were here already.”
“Sorry, I’m probably a little early.” Would he realize just how quickly I had run out of the house to come see him? I hoped he didn’t think I was a huge dork if he did.
The lamb Uriah was holding bleated in his ear, making Uriah laugh. “No, it’s perfect. I could use your help actually.”
“My help?” I asked. My face must have looked incredulous. That was how I felt, at least. I knew absolutely nothing about sheep.
“If you don’t mind,” he said. “This rascal got in a fight with a bunch of burrs. I got most of them off, but there’s a couple I need to clip out.”
Climbing over the fence, I approached the lamb cautiously. “What do you want me to do?”
“Just hold Ishla’s shoulders so he doesn’t run off. There’s two burrs on his belly that I can’t get to while I’m holding him,” Uriah said.
The lamb’s cuteness didn’t lessen my fear any. I wasn’t afraid of the animal, just of accidently hurting it. Gently, I took the animal’s shoulders and pressed lightly. It wiggled under my grip so I pressed down a little tighter until it stopped moving around. Uriah smiled encouragingly, and picked up his scissors. The lamb flinched when Uriah clipped the burr out of its wool, but held still for the most part. Finished with his work, Uriah patted the lamb on the back, touching my hand as he did.
With a sharp bleat, the little lamb tossed its head back and jumped right into Uriah’s chest. Falling back in surprise, Uriah made no move to catch the little guy as it scampered away. He stared after it looking confused. I reached out and pulled Uriah back up. He flinched when I touched him and I worried that he was hurt. “Are you okay?” I asked. “I’m sorry. I should have held him tighter.”
“Don’t worry about it, that little one is a handful,” Uriah said. “He doesn’t usually act like that around me, though.” Shrugging at the oddity, he forgot it and dusted off his clothes. “Let me just grab something from the house and we can get going.”
He hurried away before I could ask if I should go with him, so I walked back to Daisy and fed her a carrot from my pocket while I waited for Uriah to reappear. He walked back out of the house with his saddle bags slung over his shoulder a few minutes later. The edge of a blanket peeked out from under one of the flaps. By the way the other bag bulged, I was guessing there was a picnic lunch in that one. A ride through the bluffs could only last so long, but a picnic could last as long as you wanted it to.
Trying to hide my grin, I let my hair fall over my face as I swung into Daisy’s saddle.
“Ready?” Uriah asked. I nodded, resisting the urge to push my hair behind my ear.
The ride out of town was filled with idle small talk that most people would have found unimportant. To me it was anything but. Talking about our plans for the summer, the books we were supposed to read, things we liked and didn’t like, and a dozen other things, were all little bits of the puzzle that was Uriah Crowe. Nothing he said gave me any hints about some of the bigger mysteries surrounding him, but the way he laughed and talked so easily with me today gave me hope that he wouldn’t disappear on me like he had other girls.
By the time we reached a secluded valley that was perfect for a picnic, I felt like I had been friends with Uriah for much longer than a few days. Uriah jumped down from his mare and took a step toward me. Expecting him to offer to help me down, I slid off Daisy before he had the chance and landed lightly in the sand. The corner of his mouth twitched, and I hated myself for letting my dad control me once again. I couldn’t stand letting anyone help me because of him, but that just ended up letting my feelings for my dad dictate how I acted anyway. I couldn’t win against him.
Uriah’s quick frown tore at me. I actually would have loved to feel his hands on my waist as he lifted me down. Why didn’t I let him help me get off the horse? Pushing him away was exactly what I was afraid of doing. I wanted to kick myself, but that would only embarrass me further, so I pasted on a smile and went to help him with lunch.
“So what are we having?” I asked.
His dark skin didn’t hide his blush. “I don’t know, actually. My mom packed it for me. Picking burrs out of Ishla’s coat took longer than I thought it would.”
That certainly wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. Helping that poor lamb was more important. I spread the blanket out on the rough desert grass and watched Uriah set the saddle bag down in the middle. Moving the bag over some, I sat down on the side, making sure the only open space large enough for Uriah to sit was right next to me. Uriah sat down in the right spot, but was far enough away that he wasn't in any danger of touching me. I really hoped he was just being polite.
“Well, let’s open it up and see what we have,” I said.
The roast beef sandwiches and potato salad his mom had packed were delicious. What was even better was lying on the blanket with Uriah after all the food was gone. Still careful of the distance between us, Uriah laid next to me. The heat of the desert pressed all around us, attempting to burn aw
ay the desire I felt being so close to him. It didn’t work.
All the heat did was make me think of the soothing warmth I had felt come over me with Uriah’s arm around my shoulder a few days ago. I wanted to feel that again. He had yet to really touch me even once today. The sun beating down on my closed eyelids was a poor substitute. When I felt Uriah shift next to me, I opened my eyes to find him propped up on his elbow, gazing down at me. My smile was timid and shaky as I wished he would move in closer.
“Thanks for coming with me today,” he said.
“Thanks for inviting me.” Now kiss me, I thought.
Some part of me wondered if I was falling for whatever everyone else fell for around him, but a bigger part of me really didn’t care. Just as I knew I wouldn’t. The memory of him touching my cheek on Friday had haunted me all weekend. Why wouldn’t he touch me like that again? A very good reason popped into my head. My dad.
The desire to strangle something had me grinding my teeth. He had to be the reason Uriah was keeping his distance today. I was not about to let my dad have any part in my relationship with Uriah, what tiny bit we actually had.
“Uriah,” I started, “I’m really sorry about the way my dad acted the other day. I don’t know what his problem was, but he was incredibly rude to you.”
“Oh, that’s all right. I don’t think your dad has ever liked me very much,” Uriah said.
“Why not?” I asked. Uriah was practically the town hero. He was pretty much the only reason our little high school got any kind of recognition in the sports world. With my dad being so heavily involved in sports, I thought he adored Uriah like everyone else did.
Uriah didn’t seem to understand it either. He just shrugged in answer to my question.
“Well, don’t worry about my dad. The day I actually listen to him about anything is the day San Juan turns into a swampland.”
“I take it you and your dad don’t get along, then?” Uriah asked.
Rolling my eyes, I laughed. “Saying we don’t get along would be an understatement. I can’t stand him because he tries to control my life and he despises me because I’m not the perfect little china doll he expected me to be.”
That last part came out a little too filled with venom. Uriah frowned as he watched my face tighten in an effort to hold back my anger. Just talking about my dad made me want to scream. Especially after he had spent the weekend calling and hounding me to make sure I wasn’t trying to see Uriah. My dad being at work today was the only reason I was able to leave without him tailing me. Putting him out of my head today seemed to be impossible. I couldn’t even go five minutes without him crowding into my mind and spoiling my day. Why couldn’t my dad love me for who I was like any normal parent?
Despite my best efforts, a tear slipped down my cheek. I turned away from Uriah to try and hide it. His fingers slid along my cheek and gently turned my face so I was looking at him again. Tears stayed frozen on my skin as I held my breath. So light I could barely feel it, Uriah swept his fingers across my cheek, taking my tears and anger away.
“Hey,” Uriah said softly, “it’s okay. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
My lips quivered into a smile. “You didn’t.” I don’t think Uriah could ever upset me even if he tried. “I just hate the way he treats me.”
“What does he do?” Uriah asked.
“He tries to control my life,” I said. I hated the sharp tone of my voice. I couldn’t seem to shake it, though.
Uriah smiled as he ran his hand up to my hair. “Isn’t that what all parents do?” He seemed to be focusing very intently on me now.
“Whatever other parents do, my dad is ten times worse,” I said. “He has my entire future mapped out. What I want doesn’t matter to him at all.”
“He’s probably just doing what he thinks is best for you,” Uriah said.
Sitting up on the blanket, my motion pushed Uriah away. The way I was glaring at him didn’t help either. “My dad has to approve of my clothes, hairstyles, makeup, everything, because he refuses to let me look ‘average.’ Looking like a model is more important to him than getting good grades. He’s never once come to any of my school functions. The only reason he plans to send me to college is to make sure I find a rich husband. I can’t even choose where I want to go. He’s already decided I’ll go to Boston because that’s where he went and he has friends there he can hand me off to.
“I wanted to play volleyball, but he refused to let me because it wasn’t ladylike enough. He gave me the choice of ballet or piano lessons. He controls who my friends are because he controls most of the parents. If he doesn’t like someone I’m hanging out with, he talks to their parents and suddenly that person won’t even speak to me anymore. And he does it all just because he wants me to live up to his family name. His grandfather was the last Tewa Chief and that means I’m screwed. I have no freedom because of who my ancestors are. My dad isn’t doing what’s best for me, just what he thinks is best for himself.”
Uriah sat in stunned silence for a few seconds. His hand had fallen away from me when I sat up so abruptly, and it stayed away now. Uncertainty flickered in his eyes. The rise and fall of his broad chest had stopped, holding in the breath he had taken. I had done it again. If he got up and left right now, I could only blame myself. My dad’s controlling hand felt tighter around my neck than it ever had before. I let him do this to me.
Embarrassment and shame slumped my shoulders. I felt like such an idiot. All I wanted was to spend a peaceful afternoon with Uriah, and I had ruined it. Tears fell and I didn’t even try to stop them. Uriah’s arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. He held me in his arms. I barely knew Uriah. I never should have dumped all of my problems with my dad on him, but there was nobody else. Nobody outside of my dreams. Despite the warnings, I trusted Uriah.
Still hidden against Uriah’s chest, I said, “Maybe if I thought my dad actually loved me I could stand the way he acted, but I know he doesn’t.”
Lifting my chin so that I was looking at him, Uriah’s serious eyes captured me completely. “No matter how your dad treats you, he does love you. How could he not?”
“He’s never once told me that he loves me.”
“Some people just have a hard time saying it,” Uriah said. Even he didn’t sound very convinced by his words. My dad didn’t say it and he didn’t show it. He used me like he did everyone else. What point was there in arguing? Maybe Uriah figured that out, or maybe he just wanted me to stop crying, but he changed the topic.
“So what are you doing here with me?” he asked. “Your dad obviously doesn’t approve of me, not that that bothers me any, but here you are, sitting on a blanket with me out in the hills.”
With his arms around me, even. As angry as I had been a minute ago, I found it surprisingly easy to smile now. Uriah raised an eyebrow as he waited for my answer. Grinning guiltily, I dipped my head to avoid Uriah’s teasing smile. “Well, I guess maybe I have a little more freedom than I made it sound. I do try to irritate my dad every chance I can get.”
“Is that the only reason you came today?” Uriah asked.
I looked back up at him to gauge whether he was joking or serious. Seeing his expression, it was easy to tell. His emotions stood plainly on his face no matter what he was feeling. Friendly teasing hovered on the surface, but honest desire to know the answer was layered underneath.
“If I won’t date a guy just because my dad wants me to, I’m certainly not going to date someone just because he doesn’t want me to,” I said. “I came because I wanted to.”
That was obviously the answer he had been hoping for. Peaceful pleasure washed over him and seeped into me as Uriah lowered himself back onto the blanket. I followed, resting my head on his shoulder. Uriah didn’t say it, but somehow I knew that regardless of what my dad wanted, Uriah wasn’t going anywhere.
5: Subtle Invitat
ion
I shook my head at myself as I stared at the wall surrounding the Brant home. In the failing light, the plaster covered wall that was usually a light tan color looked blood red. Hopefully that wasn’t an omen. Placing my hands on the plaster, I launched myself to the top of the six foot wall. I took a brief second to look around the garden-like yard and make sure no one could see me before dropping to the ground, smashing a clump of flowers as I did.
The backyard lights were all off like Claire said they would be. Darting across the lawn, I stopped at the edge of the covered patio. “Claire,” I whispered loudly, “are you up there?”
My answer was seeing her head pop over the edge of the porch roof, a brilliant grin on her face. “You came!” she whispered.
“I told you I would, but you better not make a habit of this.” I was serious. My heart was pounding in fear that Thomas would suddenly have the desire to sit on the porch and watch the sunset. Claire just giggled and flipped herself back up. A second later her feet were dangling off the roof, waiting for me to grab them.
Every minute I spent with Claire made touching her more bearable. In the month that we had been seeing each other, my tolerance for her had not improved quite as much as I hoped it would, but I was definitely getting better. Flexing my fingers in and out several times, I tried to prepare myself. Slowly, I reached up and grabbed Claire’s legs. My right knee started to shake faintly, but I was sure it would be fine. The real problem was the horrible ache rushing down my arms. It wasn’t as bad as the shocking pain I had felt at first, but holding someone up when it felt like my arms were about to dissolve was difficult, to say the least.
Claire started scooting herself off the porch roof when I had a tight hold on her, probably tighter than necessary. My confidence was as wobbly as my arms. She hung above me, supporting herself with only her hands on the roof, and asked, “Ready?”
My left knee was shaking now. “Go for it.”
All at once her entire weight was in my hands. Barely a hundred and ten pounds, the weight was no big deal. Her body sliding down mine…that was a huge problem. Lowering her slowly so I didn’t drop her, inch by inch more of her body was pressed against mine. Ache turned into searing pain spreading from my chest to my head, and down to my legs. My weaker right knee betrayed me and buckled, pitching me sideways before I could catch myself.
My arms wrapped around Claire to protect her from getting hurt a half second before my back thudded into the grass. A deep groan slipped from my mouth, but I wasn't sure whether it was from the pain of the fall, or from having so much of Claire’s body crushed against mine. Head to toe, my entire body was burning. Claire lying on top of me was a position I should have been thrilled about, but I had to get her off me. Gently, I pushed her up and rolled myself up to a sitting position. The relief from not touching her finally let me take a deep breath.
Claire watched me with one eyebrow cocked. “Sorry, I really didn’t think I was that heavy.”
I laughed now that the pain was gone. “You’re not, I promise.” Then I had to lie. “I, uh, just twisted my knee earlier. I must have hurt it more than I thought.”
Her face clouded with concern immediately. “Uriah, you should have told me. I could have jumped down on my own.”
“And twisted your ankle, probably. I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.” To show how fine I was, I jumped up and dusted bits of grass off my backside. Claire watched me step toward her carefully, trying to gauge whether or not I was lying. For once, my expression didn’t give me away. Perhaps my relief that the gate unlocked from this side painted over my deception.
Slipping out of the overly green yard, back into the desert, Claire grabbed my hand and towed me down the road. After the shock of having her on top of me, holding her hand seemed so much less painful by comparison. I thought that was interesting. I felt like there was a plan of some kind hidden in that information. Push the limits and drown myself in pain for a few seconds to make the less intense seem even more innocuous. It involved a lot more pain, but a lot more of me being able to touch Claire.
We reached my truck before I could really cement my thoughts. I had something else to figure out first. Claire climbed in and pushed herself over to the middle seat so she was closer to me. There was no pain, but the tired, weakening sensation remained even when she didn’t touch me. Looking over at me expectantly, Claire’s eyes asked why I hadn’t already started the truck.
“Why did I just break you out of your house?” I asked. Maybe I should have asked that before actually helping her escape, but I couldn’t resist anything Claire asked me to do.
“Just my dad, again. Forget it,” Claire said. Her rolling eyes accentuated her point, but the way her jaw clamped down after she spoke told the truth.
Pointedly shoving my keys back into my pocket, I turned to face Claire full on. “Tell me what happened.”
Her anger spread over her face, making her eyes glisten and her ears flame red. I folded my arms across my chest to wait.
“We’re not going anywhere until you tell me,” I said.
Wrinkling her nose and glaring at me, Claire pressed her lips together. She was waiting, and I knew exactly why she would do that. Claire was still convinced that I could make people do what I wanted them to. She refused to be one of those people. Any time I tried to tell her to do anything she turned into a mute statue just to prove that I had no effect on her. The ridiculousness of what she was doing would have annoyed me if her infuriated pout wasn't so adorable. Every time she did this I just ended up laughing, which only made her madder.
Since I did want to make it out to meet Tyler and Lana some time tonight, I held back my laughter and rephrased my words into something less commanding. “Claire, would you please tell me what happened with your dad?”
Her statuesque demeanor melted. “Fine, if you really want to know I’ll tell you,” she said. “Jonny called and wanted to take me to dinner tonight. I told him I’d rather eat a lizard and hung up.”
Jonny was a creep, but I had no idea what that would have to do with me having to sneak Claire out to go meet Tyler. “And?” I asked.
Claire shrugged as if I should have figured it out already. “And my dad grounded me for a week.”
“For turning down a date?”
“Yep. Jonny is the current ‘Thomas Brant approved male’ for me to hang out with. He told Jonny to take me out tonight. I got grounded because I refused to go.”
“Jonny tried to hit you. Your dad knows that,” I said.
“He doesn’t care. Jonny’s mom is his biggest weaving supplier.” Claire shook herself, clearing away her anger. “Anyway, let’s not talk about it anymore, okay? Let’s just go find Tyler and Lana.”
Thomas Brant had to be the biggest idiot I had ever met. Turning the truck on, I pulled onto the road and headed straight for the bluffs. Fifteen minutes later, we were pulling into a valley lit up by a spectacular bonfire. I could feel a wave of heat from it wash over me as soon as I opened my door. Tucking Tyler’s present under one arm and Claire under the other, we braved stepping around the cab. Holding Claire only hurt slightly more than the heat of the fire.
“Could you have gotten that thing any bigger?” I asked Tyler. “How are we supposed to roast anything? I can’t get within ten feet of it without singeing myself.”
“I guess you’re just not man enough to handle my fire, then,” Tyler mocked. “Lana’s already roasting away.”
Glancing over at Lana, I saw her with a marshmallow speared on the end of a roasting stick taller than she was. Her hand was in front of her face trying to fend off the blistering heat of the fire. She grimaced behind her hand, but tried to look like she was doing just fine for Tyler’s sake.
“Where’s your stick?” I asked Tyler. “Is your girlfriend tougher than you are?”
“No.” His indignant expression quickly broke into a grin. “Just hungrier.”
/> “Shut up, Tyler, you told me to start. He wanted to make you feel bad for taking so long to get here,” Lana said to me. “Did you have trouble breaking Claire out of the Brant Family Prison?”
“No, just took longer than I thought,” I said. Claire didn’t even seem surprised that I had told Tyler and Lana about her being grounded. Maybe that was because she already knew I had told my parents about it. I didn’t like lying to people, so when Tyler asked why I wanted to move his birthday bonfire back to dusk, I told him. He thought it was funnier than my parents did. My parents weren’t thrilled with the idea, but they both knew Thomas and figured he was just being a tyrant as usual. They trusted my judgment on this one.
Tyler grabbed a bag off the blanket and held it up to us. “So, you want some marshmallows?”
“I think I’ll wait until this beast burns down a little,” I said. Claire nodded next to me. Lana dropped her stick and muttered her agreement. Looking a little dejected that no one appreciated his masterpiece as much as he did, Tyler dropped the bag and plopped down on the blanket. We skirted around the fire to join them.
I tossed Tyler his present and he immediately tore into it, pulling out the pair of climbing shoes he had been wanting for months. “Thanks, man, these’ll be great for tackling the cliffs next weekend. Ron and Doug are coming down to go climbing with me and Lana.”
“The shoes are from Claire, too,” I said. I told her she didn’t have to worry about getting him anything since she didn’t know him very well, but she had insisted on at least chipping in for the shoes.
“Thanks, Claire. Hey, you two should come with us next weekend,” Tyler said. “You climb, don’t you, Claire?”
Her face went oddly white in the firelight. “Uh, not really. I’ve never tried it before,” she said, stumbling through the words.
“It’s a blast, you should try it,” Lana said.
Her encouraging voice didn’t take the horrified pallor from Claire’s face. “I can’t, my mom and I are going to Denver next weekend to visit my aunt,” Claire said in a relieved rush.
“Maybe next time. We go all the time,” Lana said. Tyler grabbed Lana’s attention, then, showing her the shoes and letting Claire off the hook for the moment. Seeing Claire so shook up was amusing. She was fearless, and daring, a daredevil almost. She had talked me into things I never would have done otherwise, yet she seemed to be honestly scared of rock climbing.
Taking advantage of Tyler being distracted, I turned to Claire. “Are you afraid of heights?” I asked her. She shook her head. “Then what? I think climbing is a lot of fun.”
“You’ve gone before?” she asked.
“Sure, lots of times. Do you want to try it? I’ll help you.”
“No!”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. Claire smacked my arm. “Why not?” I asked.
“I’m afraid of falling,” she blurted out. Her eyes closed, trying to shut out her embarrassment. Apparently that wasn't enough. Falling down onto her back, she covered her face with her hands as well.
Slowly, I ran my hand along her arm, all the way to the fingers covering her eyes. My fingers felt numb by the time I got there, but the silky feel of her skin against mine brought the rest of me to life. I slipped my hand under hers and pulled her hands away so I could see her face. Shame glittered in her eyes. I smiled and stroked her hair until she smiled back.
Leaning in closer so my face hovered a few inches above hers, as close as I could stand to get, I asked, “Do you really think I would let you fall?”
Brows wrinkling, Claire thought about her answer. She was so determined to prove to everyone that she didn’t need help, that she was in control of her own life. So many times she pushed me away to keep from looking weak. I think she was honestly afraid that one day she would find herself completely under the power she thought I held, but I wanted more than anything to be the one person she trusted not to take away her beautiful spirit.
I tried to wait patiently for her answer. The throbbing echoing through my body from being so close to her was making me anxious. “Claire, I wouldn’t let you get hurt,” I said. “I’ll always protect you, whatever it takes.”
Her thoughtful frown turned up slowly. Absolute faith blossomed on her lips. “I know you will,” she said softly.
Seeing her hand reaching up to my face, I braced myself. From the tips of her fingers to her palm, her hand slipped into place on my cheek, hesitating there before continuing its path across my jaw to wrap lightly around my neck. Her fingers moved back and forth across my skin, sending electric ripples through my spine as she gazed into my eyes. I could feel the pressure of her hand increase so very slightly, pulling me toward her.
A subtle invitation to kiss her, but it was one I didn’t think I could take. Holding her like I was had my entire body stiff as a board. She was so hard to resist, though. Thinking about my earlier theory, I considered giving in, bringing my mouth closer to hers slowly and carefully. Half an inch away from kissing her, my vision started to swim. I couldn’t do it. Turning my head aside, I settled for crushing her against me, pressing her cheek to mine. I heard Claire sigh almost imperceptibly. The pain I felt from touching her was nothing compared to the monumental disappointment of my failure.
6: The Inevitable Fight
Thomas Brant’s money and power didn’t scare me, except in one regard. The possibility that he could find a way to keep Claire away from me was worse than the debilitating feeling I got when I touched her. For years I had watched Claire and wished I could figure out why I felt so strange around her. I thought I would have to get over that before I could be with her, but when I finally had the chance to really spend time with her, I realized I wasn't willing to wait anymore.
Taking her away from me now would be more than I could handle.
That was why every time we were together I forced myself to watch her slip back into her house from a distance. In a town as small as San Juan, Thomas would find out about us eventually. Claire’s mom was helping us out a little with that, but we did our best to keep him in the dark. Both of us wanted to delay the inevitable fight we would face when he finally cornered us. For that same reason, we saw very little of our school friends as well. Tyler and Lana were the only ones we trusted enough not to tell.
So all summer long, whenever football practice or ballet, ranch chores or trips to Santa Fe didn’t get in the way, we found each other and pretended that nothing was standing in our way. The delusion only lasted as long as summer did.
Standing in the parking lot on the first day back at school, I waited for Claire. Managing a ranch didn’t produce nearly as much money as owning a casino. My family had what we needed, but money was always tight. We only had one vehicle, and that was needed for work on the ranch, leaving me to walk to school every day. I never minded until that morning. I would have liked nothing more than to be able to pick Claire up for school every morning. Instead, I showed up early and kept an eye out for her silver Lexus.
When she finally arrived, I walked over and opened her car door as soon as the engine cut off. Claire bounced out with a grin. Her arms slid around my waist and pulled me against her. After all summer together, the pain was down to a manageable ache. Dodging her backpack, I pulled her against me even tighter. The smell of her hair had long ago become my favorite scent, and I drank it in now.
“You ready for this?” Claire asked. “Dana and Beth called me this morning to see if I wanted to ride with them. When I told them no, they both started badgering me about why. I think both of them think I’ve gone nuts, or something, with how I’ve been avoiding them all summer.”
“You know as soon as they see us together the whole school is going to know,” I said.
That meant her dad would know too, if he didn’t already. Claire only grinned. “I kn
ow, and I don’t care. I’m tired of having to sneak around to see you.”
The obnoxious rumble of Jonny’s engine flooded the parking lot. Claire and I stepped apart and watched it roll in. Jonny pulled into a space behind us and kept the car idling as the song they were listening to finished pulsing over the roar. As the last beats faded, Jonny finally turned the Jeep off. The silence left in its wake only lasted until Dana spotted Claire and I. Leaving Jonny behind, Dana and Beth floated across the blacktop to us.
“Claire, Uriah, you two are here awfully early,” Dana said, the words oozing out in search of information. “Did you come together?”
“No,” I said honestly.
Dana’s catty smile deepened. Turning back to Beth, Dana threw her a superior look. “I haven’t seen much of either of you this summer. I was starting to wonder.”
Beth rolled her eyes at her friend and pouted. Apparently, Dana had just won an argument. Or at least she thought she had.
Reacting to the way Dana was behaving, Claire said, “What’s there to wonder about?” and slipped her hand into mine.
The girls’ reactions were interesting. Beth choked on a scoffing laugh while Dana’s face went absolutely livid. I had expected Dana, especially, to be a little unhappy to find out about Claire and me, but I as I looked at her now, I almost expected electricity to start crackling around her. Saying she was upset would have been a huge understatement. Homicidal would have been a much better choice.
Hearing the warning bell ring, I was ready to back away from her. Claire wasn’t. “We better get to class, girls, but you’re more than welcome to join us for lunch if you want to,” Claire said. “Uriah and I will be sitting together, obviously.”
Claire turned away after that, prompting Dana to step forward after her. The expression on her face startled me. “Dana,” I said sharply. She stopped right away and looked up at me expectantly. “You should probably get to class, too.”
Dana frowned at me, but nodded, grabbed Beth by the arm, and stalked off in the opposite direction. Pulling on my arm, Claire tried to make me follow her, but I gently pulled her back to me. She turned around looking rather pleased with herself. That faded when she took in my own expression.
“Was that really necessary, Claire?” I asked. “You knew she was already upset.”
A hint of shame hid in her eyes, but righteous indignation tried to overpower it. “I knew Dana would be mad about us, but the way she looked so happy when you said we didn’t come to school together, it made me sick. You have no idea what she says about you when you’re not around. She’s obsessed with you, Uriah.”
“I doubt that,” I said. At the most, it aggravated Dana that I hadn’t fallen all over her like other guys did. She was only mad because she thought she had lost something just now. I was never even close to being hers to start with.
“I’m serious, Uriah. She talks about you all the time. She’s always talking about how she’s going to be the one to finally pin you down, and I’m pretty sure she meant that literally,” Claire said.
Shaking my head, I tried to get that image out of my head. Dana always did talk too much. “Either way, you shouldn’t have said it.”
Her jaw tightened up, the same way it did every time she bit back a nasty comment around me. Claire had a temper that spiked every time she thought someone was treating her like her dad did. I could imagine she was probably about to say something like “Don’t tell me what to do.” She tried very hard to keep her temper at a minimum around me. I really appreciated that since she was about the only person who ever yelled at me or tried to push me around. It was a little hard to get used to.
I knew the final bell was going to ring any minute, but that didn’t stop me from pulling Claire into my arms and holding her there. My chest and arms throbbed. “Claire, I don’t care what Dana says about anything. I’m here with you, and nothing she says or does is going to change that. Okay? I don’t want any of the other girls here. I only want you. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.”
“Really?” Claire asked. “Why?”
I hesitated just long enough for the bell to ring and save me from having to try and explain everything I felt when I was around her. Claire tried to protest as I spun her around and started pulling her to the school but I just kept going. The look on her face when I pushed her toward her first class said our discussion was far from over.
Every time she caught sight of me between classes she would try to pull the answer out of me again. She spent the entire lunch hour guessing everything from the color of her eyes, which was definitely part of it, to the type of car she drove, which had absolutely nothing to do with it. By the time we were walking to the cafeteria, my resolve not to tell her everything was waning. I actually found myself slightly disappointed that nobody risked sitting with us at lunch.
That was how the rest of the day went as well, Claire offering guesses, and anybody who was friends with Dana pointedly avoiding us. That turned out to be most of the high school, unfortunately. Tyler and Lana were the only ones who didn’t seem to care about Dana’s mood swings. At least we had a few allies left.
Overall, the day actually went better than I expected. Claire snuggled up against me as we walked across the parking lot to her car at the end of the day. I was laughing at another one of Claire’s nonsense guesses when I felt her go rigid beside me. Stopping right away, I started to look down at her when I saw what she had.
Thomas Brant stood leaning against his daughter’s car. The scowl on his face told me everything. Word sure travelled fast in small towns.
7: Should Have Known
“I thought I told you to stay away from Uriah,” Thomas said to his daughter, though his eyes were too busy boring holes into me to look at her.
“I thought I told you I didn’t care,” Claire said.
Thomas’s eyes flared and snapped to his daughter. “Watch your tongue, Claire. I don’t have time to deal with your childishness today.”
“Oh, but you had enough time to leave work and show up at my school just so you could embarrass me?” Her body was shaking against mine. I could tell she was getting close to snapping.
“Go home,” Thomas demanded.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Thomas glared at her and I started to worry things were about to get out of hand. Squeezing her shoulders, I tried to keep her from doing or saying anything too rash. Claire held her temper for me, but I knew she was more than willing to let it loose on her dad. I was all for Claire standing up to her father. The middle of the high school parking lot really wasn’t the best place for that, though. Taking charge, I stepped forward, leaving Claire behind me so she was out of her father’s view.
“Mr. Brant, it’s nice to see you again, sir. Would you like to talk to me about something?” I asked.
“I certainly would,” he said.
“Why don’t we talk over by your car,” I said. It was at the edge of the full parking lot, a good hundred feet from Claire’s car. Thomas nodded and started walking in that direction. I moved to follow him until I realized Claire was moving even more quickly than I was.
I grabbed her arm as she tried to zip past me. Spinning around, Claire glared at me. That look got me often enough, but I wasn’t giving in this time. Claire’s spite for her father and flair for a fight would only make things worse. I held on and refused to let go.
“Claire, stay here. I’ll handle this,” I said.
“Oh, no you won’t. He’s my dad. He’s my problem.”
“You’re my girlfriend. I should have talked to him a while ago.” Claire had a response ready for that, but I didn’t let her get it out. “If you end up grounded for yelling at him in front of the whole school, you’ll miss meeting my cousins this weekend. And I won’t help you sneak out to see me like l
ast time.”
Knowing I was serious, Claire relented. Her shoulders drooped dramatically as she settled into a pout adorable enough to make me smile, but not enough to make me change my mind. Running my fingers along her jaw one more time for luck, I smiled at her reassuringly before I turned away. Thomas was rich, and a ruthless business man, but he was weak and selfish. Whatever problem he had with me, I was sure it had no merit. If I could just make him see that he would have to give in. I stalked toward the only man I had ever feared, determined to make him change his mind.
Thomas’s frown was just as intense as before, heightened somehow by the casual way he leaned against his Mercedes Benz. Everything about him said success. The tailored clothes, impeccable haircut, even the way his hand reached up to swipe the sunglasses off his face, all told me I was about to lose everything to him. He was so confident. He had no idea just how much I loved his daughter, though. Thomas Brant was the one in for a fight.
“Uriah, my daughter is strictly off limits to you,” Thomas said.
“May I ask why?”
Slipping his sunglasses to hang down the front of his shirt, Thomas finally looked up at me. “Does it matter why? I said she’s off limits. The why shouldn’t matter.”
“It matters to me,” I said.
He seemed to consider the merit of that for a moment. “Fine, if you must know, you’re not good for Claire. She doesn’t belong with you.”
“Don’t you think Claire should be the one to decide that?”
Thomas laughed. “Claire is an immature child who makes decisions based on what she thinks will get a rise out me. I trust her to make her own decisions about as much as I trust a coyote in a sheep pen. Claire is only teasing you with her affection because she knows I don’t approve of her dating you. I told her as much that day you showed up at my house a few months ago. Seeing you again today likely just reminded her of that and she thought she’d try to see if I really meant it. And I assure you I do. So let’s just stop this before it really gets started. Save everybody the headache.”
“Stop this before it gets started?” Maybe I had been letting Claire influence me more than I thought, but I couldn’t help correcting him. “This started a while ago, Mr. Brant. Claire and I have been dating for three months. Since that day I showed up at your house, actually. I think it’s a little late to talk about saving anyone anything.”
“Three months?” Thomas muttered through his clenched jaw. “I would have thought better of you than that.”
I scoffed at his double standard. “If you think so highly of me then why do you have a problem with me dating your daughter?” I asked. “You know me, Mr. Brant. We’ve worked together through sports for years.”
“That’s exactly it, Uriah. I know you. I know who you are, and I won’t let my daughter get tangled up in your life,” Thomas said.
The bizarre sincerity in his words caught me off guard. He knew who I was? What was that supposed to mean? He said it as if that should mean something to me, but it only confused me even more. Who I am is Uriah Crowe. Take away sports, and I was just a rancher in love with a girl. What more could he possibly see in me than that?
“Thomas, I care about Claire. I won’t do anything to hurt her. I can promise you that.”
“You can’t promise me anything about what might or might not happen. You have no idea what your future holds, Uriah.”
I was getting tired of his vague, cryptic objections. He had no reason to think I would ever harm Claire in any way. I wasn’t about to let his paranoid fears keep me away from her. Planting myself close enough to him that he would have to push me back to step to the side, I locked him in my gaze.
“Thomas, there is nothing you can say to me that will make me change my mind about Claire. I don’t understand why you can’t see what an amazing girl she is, but I can. She’s strong and independent, smart, funny, compassionate, kind, and beautiful. I want to be with Claire, and I have no intention of backing off from her,” I said. “And if you have a problem with that, you better give me a better reason for it than that you disapprove.”
Thomas opened his mouth, but whatever objection he wanted to throw at me didn’t make it past his lips. Seconds passed with him standing there with his mouth open. Just as I expected, not even he could come up a good reason why I shouldn’t be with Claire. Even I was having a hard time finding a reason any more. I wasn't sure if the strange way I felt around her was actually starting to fade, or if I was just getting used to it, but it no longer bothered me as much as it once did. Claire was worth any kind of pain.
Having given him a fair chance, I said, “Since you can’t think of anything, I expect you to back off and let your daughter be happy for once.”
His struggle to win seemed to spring up once again when I saw his anger flash across his features, but he managed to quell it quickly enough. “Fine, Uriah, date Claire if you really want to. Nothing will make me like this, but I doubt I could keep you from her even if I wanted to. You’ll realize sooner or later what a mistake you’re making with her.” He shook his head then, as if he was surprised he had just given in. The feeling must have passed, because his usual sneer crept back onto his face.
“I should have known better than to try and convince you of anything, Uriah.” Flipping his sunglasses back onto his face, Thomas glanced past me toward Claire. “Just watch yourself. Because despite what Claire thinks, I do care about her, and if I put my mind to it I can make even your life miserable.”
I watched him slide back into his Mercedes and drive away, more confused than ever about why he hated me so much. His rapid mood swings and bizarre statements left me scrambling for something that made sense. Before I could figure anything out, Claire ran up behind me. Even though she was ready to attack her dad only minutes before, her eyes were wide with anxiety now.
“Where’s he going?” she asked.
“Um, home, I guess, or back to work. He didn’t say.” As long as he was away from me and Claire, I didn’t care where he was.
Claire’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “What did he say?”
More than he should have, probably. “Well, we talked about it, and he’s fine with us dating now,” I said. “He shouldn’t cause any more problems for us.”
“Clearly you don’t know my dad very well,” Claire said, “but what do you mean he’s fine with it? I have never once seen my dad change his mind about something after he decides what he thinks is right. There’s no way he just said it was fine.”
“Well, this time he did. I asked him if he had any good reason that we shouldn’t date, and he didn’t, so he had to back off,” I said.
Claire didn’t seem convinced. She studied me as if just watching my expression would reveal some mystery behind what had just happened. In the end she just shrugged and smiled. “I should have known you would convince him. What was I worried about? I should bring you around when I’m fighting with my dad more often.”
8: The Business of Kissing
Winter in the high desert usually didn’t really hit full force until after Halloween, but this year it seemed to be making an exception. It was barely the first week of October and the air was already filled with the harsh bite of ice. The sky was blanketed with low, snow-filled clouds, but everyone expected the storm to pass us by like it usually did.
Uriah’s clear voice called to me from across the school parking lot. “Claire! Wait up.” His long legs carried him to me in a few short seconds.
There was no need for him to ask me to wait. I had been watching for him, just as I did every day after school. We spent most afternoons at Uriah’s house, helping each other with our homework and watching television. Because Uriah’s parents only had one vehicle, and his pride refused to let me drive him around, I usually drove to his house every morning then handed over the keys. It was one of his few flaws, but
I preferred to let him drive anyway, so I let it slide. Actually, I really would have preferred leaving my car at the school and walking the distance. The longer I could keep Uriah’s hands on me the better. Even if all I ever got from him was hugs and him holding my hand. The freezing winter temperatures today did make me happy to take my car instead.
“Ready to go?” I asked after accepting a warm hug, even though I was dying for something more. We had been together for five months and Uriah had yet to kiss me, except in my dreams, when they weren’t overtaken by someone else, which didn’t happen that often anymore. Dreaming of Uriah was slowly becoming the new norm, but if I spent too much time away from him, my blonde haired, blue eyed man pushed his way back into my thoughts. Every time he did, I woke feeling like I had betrayed them both. My dream guy because he was in my heart first and should have won my loyalty, and Uriah because I shouldn’t have been thinking of anyone but him anymore.
Shaking away anymore thoughts of dreams and guilt, I brought myself back to the problem of Uriah not kissing me. At first, I thought it was because of my dad making some kind of threat, but I was starting to think there was more to it than that.
“Let’s go,” Uriah said. He grabbed the keys I was offering him and hurried me into the car. Running over to the driver’s side, he slid in and shut the door quickly. “How’d your algebra test go today?”
Usually I did well in math, but my second year of algebra was proving a little more difficult for me than I had expected. It was hard to grasp the problems when everything was so abstract. Uriah’s tutoring was the only thing keeping me afloat.
“I think it went okay,” I said
“I’m glad.” Uriah took my hand and I leaned into his shoulder. “No more talk about school, though. I don’t want to even think about homework until Monday.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“What are we going to do for the next two days?” Uriah asked.
“I have a stack of movies ready, and if it ever warms up enough, Cole told me about a couple of really great riding trails we can check out. What else do you want to do?”
“My parents are planning to go down to Santa Fe on Sunday. There’s supposed to be some big play my mom really wants to see,” Uriah said. “Do you think your parents would let you come with us?”
My dad would most likely throw a fit, but I was sure my mom would allow me to go. And if they couldn’t agree, I’d just make sure Uriah was there to settle it. “Of course, that sounds like fun.”
“Good,” Uriah said with relief. He pulled into his driveway and came to a stop. “Come on. Let’s get out of the cold.”
Hand in hand, we walked quickly down the gravel driveway up to Uriah’s house. His parents had gone to Espanola for the day to meet with someone about a horse they wanted to buy. The frigid desert temperatures had meant very little privacy for us lately. I loved Uriah’s parents, but I was looking forward to nestling against him by the fire. Maybe even figuring out how to get him to kiss me.
Reaching the house just as I was starting to lose feeling in the tip of my nose, Uriah opened the front door and ushered me in. “I’ll be right back with some firewood,” he said before disappearing around the house. He was back within minutes, and I watched him build the welcomed fire. The couch I was sitting on was angled comfortably between the fireplace and the television. Thinking about my plan to get a kiss today, I dug the book I wanted to read out of my bag and propped myself against the arm of the couch as I thought.
“Are you hungry?” Uriah asked.
I shook my head. Uriah was always hungry. Sometimes I thought I could see him growing. In the past year and a half he had shot up nearly six inches, while I had added maybe an inch to my minimal height. Many of the boys we knew had grown a lot as well, but most were just plain lanky now. Uriah was not. Working with his father was building new muscle, making the girls I knew stare at him behind his back even more than they did before.
I loved that Uriah seemed to think of himself as an ordinary guy, someone nobody would ever really notice if it weren’t for him playing sports. For myself, I knew that wasn’t true, but none of the other girls thought him ordinary either. Everyone but Dana watched what they said around me now that they all knew Uriah and I were together, but before, I had heard all of the gossiping the other girls did about him.
Thinking of it flushed my face. I couldn’t help but be a little jealous of their interest in him. Dana still smiled and flirted with him every chance she got. Unfortunately, her being in the same grade as Uriah made sure she had plenty of chances from what Lana said. Uriah was completely oblivious to anyone but me.
Which was why him not kissing me every chance he got, like I wanted him to, made no sense. I think the idea that my dad might do something to separate us made Uriah nervous about doing anything to set him off, but I was the only one who would know if he kissed me today, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell my dad.
Plus, even though Uriah thought my theory about everyone doing what he said was pure imagination, he knew my dad always backed down when he confronted him. He had done it when he first found out about us, when Uriah asked me to go to homecoming with him, and even when I wanted to go with Uriah’s parents to watch him play football out of town. No, something else was making Uriah hold back.
Today, I was going to find out exactly what that was.
Interrupting my thoughts, Uriah plopped onto the couch next to me, a sandwich piled high with meat balanced in his hands. Flipping on the television, he settled in to eat. I turned my attention back to my book, though it was always hard to focus on anything with Uriah nearby. Tired from a long week of work and school, Uriah was breathing heavily in a deep sleep before I could think of any way to bring up the business of kissing. The slight smile on his lips as he slept was adorable. I smiled despite my disappointment and immersed myself in 18th century Europe until my own eyes started to droop.